At the Stingy-Power United canopy

Baba.G: Coach, don’t you think Wide-Pocket and Big-Tommy are wasting our
time?

Private pocket: Here they come, sir!

SP: /to Big-Tommy/ Is that how to run?

Big-Tommy: I’m trying my best sir

SP: /faces the team/ Now listen. This is how we will play the game. You, Wide
-Eye,

Wide-Eye: sir

SP: You keep, so that with your goggled-eyes, you would be able to stop the ball
very effectively.

Wide-Eye: Yes sir.

SP: Me-and-my-family.

Me-and-my-family: sir

SP: You will support baba.G at the strike.

Me-and-my-Family: Sir, I don’t think I am fit. I feel nauseous. Maybe you put me
on the substitution list.

SP: okay.

(He distributes the whole players based on their forms and fixes the formation. The referee blows and everybody comes to the field).

On the Field

Referee: /looks left/ Who is the captain for Proletariat FC?

Soyinka: I sir /he jugs to him/

Referee: /looks right/ Who is the captain for Stingy-Power United (SPU)? /Big
-tommy and Baba.G run forward/.

Baba.G: /to Wide-Pocket/ What do you think you are doing?

Big-tommy: I thought I should be captain.

Baba.G: Captain my foot! Can't you see /pointing at the band around his hand/ you
better truck back that your gamp-leathered stomach, before you start up
confusion here.

Referee: So who amongst you is the captain?

Baba.G: I

Referee: /addressing the two of them, with a coin/ This is a coin. It has two sides...

Soyinka: /interrupts/ That's a bootless reiteration! We already know.

Referee: Okay, which side do you want to choose?

Soyinka: /pauses a little. Takes a deep breath, robs his palms together and then
points a finger/ That one.

Referee: /facing baba.G/ It's your turn sir.

Baba.G: /coughs out/ You must be mad!

Referee: Excuse me!

Baba.G: You expect a whole general like me to be choosing which side or that
with his one /point at Soyinka, without even looking at his face/

Referee: But sir...

Baba.G: Don’t say anything. By now, you should have known that, automatically,
we start the game first.

Referee: Sir.

Baba.G: No argument, /whispers to his ear/ or do you want to end your career right
here?

Referee: No sir.

Soyinka: /cuts in/ What's the meaning of this?

Referee: /facing Soyinka/ I’m sorry sir, we have to...

Soyinka: /bursts out/ Like I knew it would happen!

Baba.G: /looking challengingly at his eyes/ What will happen?

Soyinka: The gamogenesis of black bestiality!!!

Baba.G: So you want to start insulting me abi?

Soyinka: /ignores him/ Nonsense!

Baba.G: oooo I see.

Referee: Plssss sirs don't let us start this way.

Baba.G: /angrily/ Don’t tell me that. In fact, right now, I want you to give him red
card.

Referee: But the game has not yet begun.

Baba.G: I said you should!

The two teams: /approaching the scene/ What's happening...let's begin...don't kill
the fire...we can't wait any longer...you are wasting our time. /The
Proletariat’s fan keep on singing, unbeknown to them that
something is occurring/.

The Commentators

Commentator 1: The Proletariat's fans seem too wired up for this match today.

Commentator 2: Of course. We just hope everything goes fine!

Commentator 1: I think I can see wide-eye jogging around the post!

Commentator 2: He seems somewhat lethargic!

Commentator 1: What do you expect? Too much money!

Commentator 2: The team frequently appears too magical despite their oldish
forms. Sometime, you even wonder how they manage to always
win in all their games. Remember how they floored Masses FC in
the last match?

Commentator 2: Of course. Even Low-Class United (LCU) couldn't match them,
despite the number of fans they managed to muzzle up for their
support.

Commentator 1: You are right.

Commentator 2: In fact, quite shockingly, the three teams fall into the same group,
except for Stingy-Power United which happens to fall into another
group with Tommy-bank Unlimited, Selfish-Pocket, Political
-theft, Nepotism, Bourgeoisie, etc., honestly, today will be a long
day. Or what do you think?

Commentator 1: Sure it will.

(After a few minutes, the argument is resolved. Stingy-Power FC is asked to begin the match. The commentators also begin their commentaries).

Commentator 1: This is starting too sharp...Big-tommy has the ball.

On the Field

Wide-Pocket: /shouting/ Big-Tommy what are you doing? Pass the ball!

Big-Tommy: Common, don’t tell me that. Is that your wing? /baba.G rushes from
the back and kicks the ball from Big-Tommy/.

The Commentators

Commentator 2: This is quite fantastic...that was a sensitive move made there by|
baba.G.

Commentator 1: Myke

Commentator 2: Yep

Commentator 1: Don’t you think Big-Tommy was too self-contained at that sport?

Commentator 2: Of course he was /suddenly shouts/ now Baba.G has it…
Maradonna style at the box 18…What is he going to do now..?

On the Field

(Baba.G runs with the ball and faces the keeper. As he would make a sudden short, the keeper exclaims).

Soyinka: Wait! Wait!! Wait!!! Thou o Northern Boreas!

Baba.G: What?! You are insulting me again abi? /Without any more hesitation, he
angrily punts the ball such that the heavy force from the ball snipes the
keeper's right eye. He falls to the ground while the defender in attempt at
clearing the ball, commits a home-goal/.

Soyinka: Sabotage! Sabotage!!

Two face: Shit!

Soyinka: /to two face/ You whitewashed lazy bones! You were too slow!! You
panicked!!!

Seun: It’s alright coach. /Holding him/ Take it easy.

Soyinka: /desperately/ You guys should not give them any more chances!

The Commentators

Commentator 2: The shot was pretty draconian, if not assassinating!!

Commentator 1: I think he is got a swollen eye ball at the right.

Commentator 2: This calls for an emergency or what do you think?!

Commentator 1: I think he has stubbornly decided to continue.

Commentator 2: What a hearty fellow.

(The match continues. Proletariat FC has made their passes and the commentators comment on their moves).

Commentator 1: O my gosh!.. that was a brilliant pass from Femi... now Paragonni
has it...Seun is in control...paragonni...Big-Tommy on the
defensive…what’s he going to do?/cataploce/ o no paragonni is
down.

On the Field

Paragonni: /shouts/ Referee!

Referee: Sir that was a foul.

Big-Tommy: That's a lie, you can't tell me that.

Referee: But you just pushed him away from the ball.

Big-Tommy: That was because he was trying to be too smart. You should have, by
yourself, sanctioned him for trying to do that!

Wide-Pocket: You are right.

Catalyst: We disagree.

Wide-Pocket: Who are you to disagree?

Referee: /he tries to remove a yellow card from, his pocket/ Sir I do recommend
that to be a foul.

Private-Pocket: Then what are you trying to do?

Femi: Referee!

Big-Tommy: /to private pocket/ Don't mind him. He is only joking.

Referee: Sirs...

Big-Tommy: Don't talk too much! We shall discuss this better after the match...for
now, let's play a neat game.

Catalyst: Nonsense! /to the referee/ can we have the ball now?

Big-Tommy: /cuts in/ Yeah, you can. At least that would be our little
demonstration of remission.

Catalyst: What remission?!

Femi and Seun: Rubbish!

(Meanwhile, the Proletariat’s fan are starting to protest musically)

The Commentators

Commentator 1: What's happening? The Proletariat's fans...

P.fans: /singing/ Referee ma lo se ojoro, referee ma lo se ojoro…

Commentator 1: This is weird! The fans are going haywire. But those for the SPU
look so cool and reserved...honestly it all looks goofy!!!

(The referee blows. He gives the proletariat their chance to make a free-kick. The game continues. Catalyst pushes the ball to the fore).

On the Field

Folan: /calls/ Catalyst, here!

Coach: /shouts from afar/ He is right behind you! Release the ball and stop snailing
around.

Commentator 1: Here is catalyst performing some stunts at the box 18…I think he
is about passing the ball to Folan… but ooooooo NO he is raked
to the ground….

Commentator 2: That should be a penalty or what do you think?

(Catalyst is fallen. The proletariat team is agitating for a penalty. The other team is fighting against it. They both crowd around the referee).

Wide-Pocket: We needed to stop him.

Paragonni: By that brutish means?

Big-Tommy: It was a mature defensive.

Folan: /challenging him/ You mean an injurious offensive?!

Referee: /pushing his hands forward to indicate order/.

Baba.G: /to Folan/ What do you know?

(The referee tries to pick a card from his pocket and issue a penalty at the same time, but Baba.G appears behind him and whispers to his hear)

Baba.G: What do you think you are doing?

Referee: /tries to ignore me/

Baba.G: Try that and you’d be dead before the end of this match.

Paragonni: Referee?

Femi and Seun and Folan: Referee?

Referee: /clears his throat/ It will be a free-kick.

Proletariat FC: What? This is ridiculous!

Oson-iman: /shouting from his seat/ You jackbooted wretch! That’s unfair!

(Soon the argument stops. The free-kick is played but no goal. Baba.G picks the ball and runs aggressively towards the Proletariat’s post, pushing away whomsoever tries to get the ball from him as supported by members of his own team. There is a shot from him, which sends the keeper pirouetting till the ball crosses the line into the post. The referee blows and the first half ends).

Third Motion Page

At the Proletariat FC’s Awning

(The team is so aggravated that there are several outbursts)

Folan: Honestly, coach, we can’t allow those off-the-law curs to keep euchring us
this way.

Catalyst: Folan is right coach.

Soyinka: I concur very sternly to your talks. Nothing is straight here.

Catalyst: Abso-fuckin-lutely!

Soyinka: For instance coach, you see that one with an Asiatic epigastrium /takes a
deep breath/ he is a massacre.

Folan: /laughs/ Big-Tommy.

Soyinkanni: Sincerely, we’ve all-in one way or the other- received several
epileptogenic shots from every one of them.

Team: /they all hum in agreement/.

Soyinka: Coach we’ve got to do something.

Coach: That’s true. /calls the team together/ I will like us to know that, we have
worked as a team and we’ve been frustrated by all means. Every of our
tactics have been masticated and roughened. Because of this, this is what
we are going to do: /he makes some drawings on the floor/ we shall try
wear them out this time and this would be done by much quick passes. We
tap and no one tries to waste any time on the ball. No long-term dribbling
like catalyst did at the box 18. You hear?!

Team: Yes sir!

Coach: We shall make a substitution in the middle of the game. Udeme and Saheed
will come in. They will be executing what I call ‘Operation Holocaust’.

Soyinka: What does that seem to mean sir?

Coach: You will see for yourself when it finally happens.

Saheed: Wallahi won ti je ton!

(The referee blows the whistle for the second half. Both teams assemble together. The commentators begin).

The Commentators

Commentator 1: The cloud is becoming dark at this hour, the epigene of which is
the heaviness and frosty blackness upon the players’ puss.

Commentator 2: It seems as though the sky would be falling at any moment from
now … /the game begins/ there is the kick-off. It’s starting fresh.
The Proletariat FC are beginning very smart.

On the Field

Folan: Ball! /he receives the ball, passes it to Catalyst/

Catalyst: Nice one /holds the ball. Calls on Femi/ Femi, don’t stay behind…head
left /he gives the ball to Femi/.

Femi: /passes the ball back to Catalyst/ Take!

Catalyst: /calls/ Paragonni, free yourself, baba.G is behind you /he makes a back
pass to Seun/.

Seun: Let’s re-arrange the passes from the hind /he punts the ball back to two face/.

Two face: /exclaims/ Nothing they happen! /steps on the ball, pushes it forward
and passes to Folan/.

The Commentators

Commentator 1: /laughs/ What’s happening?! They seem to be doing some sort of
‘touch-and-play’…Big-Tommy has been jaded. He has fallen
almost four times now…the game is becoming piping-hot!
/shouts/ Two-face is on the run…he makes a quick turn to the
left…/calms his voice/ Femi has the ball now…two-face is alone
now!

Commentator 2: How the heck did he steal through?

Commentator 1: Only God knows /cataploce/ now two-face receives the ball. He
does not waste anytime…he retrofires the ball proximately, east,
into the post…the keeper, flies west and…

Both commentators: It’s a goal!

Commentator 1: That was a very tight team work.

Commentator 2: Well calculated!

Two-face: /clapping his hands in jubilation/ Tuale tuale I love you, thank you,
thank you, merci beaucoup, obrigado, gratias, dankeso, medasei,
asantte-sana, ngatenga, siyabonga, I love you!

Commentator 1: /stunned/ Wait a minute!

Commentator 2: Oh my gosh! What’s this?!

Commentator 1: I think the referee just rendered that ‘an offside’.

Proletariat fans: /shouting / Ojoro!!!

(There is confusion. A fight is about to start, but it is resolved. Udeme and Saheed are brought in, while Folan and Catalyst are withdrawn from the game).

On the Team

Baba.G: /speaks covertly to the team/ By now we already know what they are
trying to do and this is what I will like us to do: you must always initiate
a fall anytime you’re close to the opponent.

Private-Pocket: For what?

Baba.G: For the referee to blow.

Private-pocket: And you are sure he will do that?

Big-Tommy: /robbing his belly/ That has been settled.

Referee: /blows his whistle/ Now everybody…

(The match continues. The Proletariat FC keeps their tactics tight. Udeme has been given two yellow cards without any offensives).

Udeme: /receives the ball/ Nna God punish this people ooo! Wetin dey do them
wey be say them dey fall like ogbolo so? Even referee dey blow as if say
we dey do them something. /passes the ball to Seun/.

Seun: Just keep on with the strategy. Or better still; don’t allow them get to you
before the ball gets away from you, so that you are not remunerated with any
cards again. /passes the ball to Two-face/.

Two-face: Nothing dey happen /passes the ball to Saheed in the box 18/.

Saheed: /furiously holds the ball. Baba.G rushes to him, but he dribbles him/
Koshi! /baba.G falls. The referee blows for a penalty/ iya yin! Ki ni mo
shey!

(There is confusion. Saheed will not allow the penalty to be played).

Udeme: /to the referee/ Nna, look here. There is nothing like penalty for here.

Big Tommy: /laughing/ But he has already decided.

Udeme: Who dey talk? You no get eye? You no see say the guy clear am neatly
commot for line? Abi na person talk say make him fall?

Big-Tommy: You must be stupid for saying that? /moving close to him/.

Udeme: Thunder fire that your mouth! Carry one step there ehn and I will
dismantle that your stomach wey be like something wey devil dey take
use store madness!

Saheed: /tearing his jersey off/ E ni duro!

Referee: /takes a red card from his pockets. Points it up to Saheed/ My decision is
final.

Saheed: /punches the referee, takes the card and tears it/ Ko ni rogbo fun e!

(Baba.G comes from behind and whacks Saheed on the neck. Udeme kicks Big-Tommy in the belly. Seun goes against Private-pocket who is about to run away. There is a big pandemonium in the field).

Commentator 1: Yo madd phat!!!

Commentator 2: The proletariat’s fans are breaking into the field...some are even
going against the Stingy-Power United fans.

Saheed: E yin temi da? E fun si gboro! /He faces baba.G in fisticuffs/.

(The proletariats’ fans are coming into the field with bottles, cutlasses, charms, stones, woods, bags of soaked garri, bags of sand, bags of human and cow feces, Molotov cocktails, pistols. The forces interfere, though to fight for the SPU. It’s a big fight).

Soldier 1: Sergeant, I have a brother somewhere here and I cannot allow him to get
hit.

Soldier 2: Me too serg.

Soldier 3: Me too.

Sergeant Musa: /calms them/ I understand your beefs soldiers. Presently, my son
too is even one of them; and nobody here is ready to shoot against
their own blood talk not of their fellow soldiers’ blood, regardless
of whether we have orders to shoot or not.

Soldier: What should we do?

Sergeant: Follow me /they gather to one spot in order to decide what should be
done/.

The Commentators

Commentator 1: /holding tenaciously to the microphone/ Right now, the match is
becoming so hot and bloody. It’s probably becoming a life and
death thingummy…baba.G is being guillotined. Gooden L is
wounded…the SPU fans are been plundered…the sky is falling.

Commentator 2: /packing some things and attempting an escape/ Are you crazy?

Commentator 1: What? Where are you going?

Commentator 2: Ask me again…/holding a brief case/ let them find you here…
Thank God, heaven and hell are big stadia in themselves…you
will know.

Commentator 1: /ignores him/ oooh that’s Wide-Eye being chased with a
monstrous, jaggy wood…

TO BE CONTINUED!!!