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Must A Successful Woman Be Married? - Family - Nairaland

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Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by jeffizy(m): 10:48pm On Nov 10, 2014
And they say "behind every successful man is a woman".
So whose behind a successful woman?

Our environment has wired us to believe every successful woman must have a thousand men behind her. Or at least married to one. tongue

But I want to believe otherwise . Even though most Nigerians, women inclusive stigmatize a successful single woman......Genevieve and R.Dominic come easily to mind.

Ladies in the house, do you also share the opinion of seeing fellow ladies who are successful and single as inadequate and blemished or must have a title of "MRS" added ?

I luv discussions. I learn from them.
Let's have your opinion.

2 Likes

Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Nobody: 10:54pm On Nov 10, 2014
Hardwork
Perseverance
Humility
Honesty and other things,a husband is just a bonus,makes a successful woman.....

In Africa here,an unmarried successful woman is seen as a slut who has used her womb to make wealth,selective,arrogant,unfaithful and unsubmissive....So to curb such perceptions,,,they keep on adding "give me a husband" to their prayer list,even when they don't need one because to them,they already acheived more.....

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Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Nobody: 11:52pm On Nov 10, 2014
There isn't a universal definition on what a successful woman is and has. It depends on your own personal beliefs. If a woman has certain ambitions and goals and she reached those then by my opinion she's successful, even if marriage isn't one of those goals.

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Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by DollyParton1(f): 12:45am On Nov 11, 2014
According to naija standard unit of measuring success, you are not successful until you wear a ring on your finger and bear a Mrs. before your name.
Because to an average Nigerian, getting hooked to a man is the ultimate achievement in the life of a lady.
Most painful thing is that mothers are teaching their daughters these lies . And those who don't believe in these lies end up being pressured by the society into a marriage they do not want and to a man that is not right for them. At the end of the day the woman loses it all.

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Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by DollyParton1(f): 12:57am On Nov 11, 2014
semioyin:
There isn't a universal definition on what a successful woman is and has. It depends on your own personal beliefs. If a woman has certain ambitions and goals and she reached those then by my opinion she's successful, even if marriage isn't one of those goals.
People refuse to understand that some people are just not destined to be married. But no, they won't leave them alone to do their thing. They have to push them.......

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Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by DollyParton1(f): 1:00am On Nov 11, 2014
Odilafta:


In Africa here,an unmarried successful woman is seen as selective,arrogant,unfaithful and unsubmissive....So to curb such perceptions,,,they keep on adding "give me a husband" to their prayer list..
You forgot to add that she is an Ashawo that used her bottom-power to get to the level of her success.

4 Likes

Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Shirley07: 1:14am On Nov 11, 2014
jeffizy:
And they say "behind every successful man is a woman".
So whose behind a successful woman?

Our environment has wired us to believe every successful woman must have a thousand men behind her. Or at least married to a man. tongue

But I want to belief otherwise . Even though most Nigerian men even stigmatize a successful single woman......Genevieve and R.Dominic come easily to mind.

Ladies in the house, do you also share the opinion of seeing fellow ladies who are successful and single as inadequate and blemished or must have a title of "MRS" added ?

I luv discussions. I learn from them.
Let's have your opinion.
It's beside, not behind. And for the record, marriage is not an archivement. A succesful one is though.
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Kanwulia: 3:49am On Nov 11, 2014
Not really!
All she needs is a SUGAR-DADA! kiss

1 Like

Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by jeffizy(m): 4:31am On Nov 11, 2014
Shirley07:

It's beside, not behind. And for the record, marriage is not an archivement. A succesful one is though.
Okay. Always ready to learn. Thanks.
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by jeffizy(m): 4:35am On Nov 11, 2014
semioyin:
There isn't a universal definition on what a successful woman is and has. It depends on your own personal beliefs. If a woman has certain ambitions and goals and she reached those then by my opinion she's successful, even if marriage isn't one of those goals.
I really share your opinion all the way.
But it is a bit disturbing that the society, which we are part of and can't ignore, sees it differently.
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by jeffizy(m): 4:37am On Nov 11, 2014
Kanwulia:
Not really!
All she needs is a SUGAR-DADA! kiss
How did I forget that! grin
I like your perspective.
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by jeffizy(m): 4:43am On Nov 11, 2014
DollyParton1:

You forgot to add that she is an Ashawo that used her bottom-power to get to the level of her success.
sad
Even as a man, I find that general visualization so hypocritical.

It has limited some women from achieving high grades in their endeavors.

So sad.

1 Like

Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by freecocoa(f): 5:22am On Nov 11, 2014
I look forward to the day people are allowed to be themselves and live their lives the way they prefer, so long as they are not hurting anyone or animals while at it.

9 Likes

Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Nobody: 8:12am On Nov 11, 2014
jeffizy:
sad

It has limited some women from achieving high grades in their endeavors.
Really? How so?
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by jeffizy(m): 8:19am On Nov 11, 2014
freshdude2:
Really? How so?
I've known some women who didn't have the zeal to pursue higher degrees that will further elevate them simply because they do not want to be seen as a competition to their husbands. Really sad.

1 Like

Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Nobody: 8:54am On Nov 11, 2014
Heaven knows that if i didn't meet this my God sent husband, i will be one successful single lady and will wear the badge with all pride. I've been known to not care much about what the society thinks anyways.

Marriage does not make or complete one. It is just one of those numerous phases/stages in life with its highs and lows. Qualifying one with his/her marital status is not only laughable but reeks of ignorance and stewpidity.
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Kanwulia: 9:08am On Nov 11, 2014
jeffizy:

How did I forget that! grin
I like your perspective.

We are NIGERIANS you know?
I will always use the Nigerian "perspective".
Just keeping it real. wink
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by jeffizy(m): 9:12am On Nov 11, 2014
^^^^^^ One of the greatest virtues of a man is being real. IMO.
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by dein77(m): 9:16am On Nov 11, 2014
These lies are very common in Africa. But i thank God we're gradually doing away with them.

Truth, one doesn't need to get married to be seen as successful and worthy of respect. It's not compulsory everyone should marry.

But Africans have tied a woman's success to her being married.

I wonder when we will allow people live their lives their own way. .....

1 Like

Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Kanwulia: 9:17am On Nov 11, 2014
jeffizy:
^^^^^^ One of the greatest virtues of a man is being real. IMO.

You bet your sweet pickle! kiss
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by bukatyne(f): 10:59am On Nov 11, 2014
No
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by nautybride: 11:16am On Nov 11, 2014
Being successful is not associated with a career alone. As a woman, the ability to manage a home is part of being successful.
So, a woman that is successful in her business dealings can decide not to get married. Marriage is not by force. Its better some are unmarried so that the society will be less filled with uncultured children and divorcees. Maybe it ll help our morals.

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Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Nobody: 1:12pm On Nov 11, 2014
DollyParton1:
According to naija standard unit of measuring success, you are not successful until you wear a ring on your finger and bear a Mrs. before your name.
Because to an average Nigerian, getting hooked to a man is the ultimate achievement in the life of a lady.
Most painful thing is that mothers are teaching their daughters these lies . And those who don't believe in these lies end up being pressured by the society into a marriage they do not want and to a man that is not right for them. At the end of the day the woman loses it all.


So, what are ya views on marriage as an institution?

Should it be scrapped, or re-invented to fit into today's world?
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Shirley07: 1:35pm On Nov 11, 2014
SirShymex:


So, what are ya views on marriage as an institution?

Should it be scrapped, or re-invented to fit into today's world?
Yes. Fornication is ungodly though.
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Shirley07: 1:38pm On Nov 11, 2014
SirShymex:


So, what are ya views on marriage as an institution?

Should it be scrapped, or re-invented to fit into today's world?
Yes. Although It's God's instutition and Fornication is ungodly.
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Nobody: 5:01pm On Nov 11, 2014
Shirley07:

Yes. Although It's God's instutition and Fornication is ungodly.

How's fornication ungodly? grin

You mean I've to wait till I'm married, before I beat a pum, that's all up in my face, with massive ti.ts hanging out? You might as well cut off my d1ck, if you want that to happen.

Shyte, like I told you a few weeks ago - most times, the big D has a mind of its own. And it's very difficult to control, especially when it sees something very attractive to snipe. grin
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by beeevan: 5:12pm On Nov 11, 2014
Success is what it is, married or not.
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by DollyParton1(f): 6:37am On Nov 12, 2014
SirShymex:


So, what are ya views on marriage as an institution?

Should it be scrapped, or re-invented to fit into today's world?
Marriage is beautiful, it shouldn't be scrapped neither should it be reinvented. But the society's views on marriage should be addressed.

1 Like

Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Nobody: 11:36am On Nov 12, 2014
we are all entitled to choose of our own path of life, we believe will make us happy.

1 Like

Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Nobody: 1:33pm On Nov 12, 2014
DollyParton1:

Marriage is beautiful, it shouldn't be scrapped neither should it be reinvented. But the society's views on marriage should be addressed.

I like that. What aspect of it do you disagree, or should I say do you think should be re-invented?

Personally, from a cultural perspective - I'm not a fan of bride price, and there should also be a list of rules both parties have to agree to, like a partnership business, before they're joined together. No just the kumbaya about "till death do us part and for better or (for) worse" thing.
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by dharmzz: 1:50pm On Nov 12, 2014
marriage is not compulsory though in my own opinion, its necessary at least for companionship if nothing else.

imagine if u are well made, established etc and u dnt even av anyone to share it with? no one to laugh with, bicker at etc.

i know some women will rather go ahead and have kids without getting married but these kids will go at some point to lead their own lives.

then loneliness and bitterness will set in.
Re: Must A Successful Woman Be Married? by Nobody: 2:08pm On Nov 12, 2014
DollyParton1:

People refuse to understand that some people are just not destined to be married. But no, they won't leave them alone to do their thing. They have to push them.......

In the end of the day it's a lot about what value we give other's opinion. Just be a good person to the people around you and to yourself and do your thing. That would be my advice to anyone dealing with people who are being pushed by the marriage army wink

There's no shame in not being married, and ultimately I think most people would agree that being happily unmarried is better than being unhappily married.

The focus can't alone be whether you are married or not, it should also focus on the quality of marriage.

3 Likes

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