Hi
My name is Jackie and I am a 25 yr old Australian. Ive just lived in London for a year on a working visa and met a great Nigerian man who is 30 and smart and great. Grin I was with him for 9 months and have just come back to Australia. He wants to be with me and is ready for kids and everything. I love him and he is hot !!! but am so torn up as to what to do as I have to leave my whole life here behind to be with him. I am supposed to be goin back in jan but my visa only lasts for so long and i don't even know how long i could stay. I would love a kid but am not sure if I am ready for it right now and he is. I fell pregnant to him 3 months ago and I didnt think I was ready. It tore him up as he was ready. I guess I had different reasons but mostly because I was scared. I ran away back here and now thinking about it I don't know if I did the right thing. He would make a great dad. In London interacial marriages and kids are normal but in other places not. Should this stop me from having his babies ? I have racist friends and have been worried about their opinions but have come to the realization they don't matter.I don't know whether I should try to let him go so he can find someone who isnt so afraid of commitment Huh? who would give him the family he deserves. I want to be with him but I don't know whether its forever !!! I would really appreciate some advice as I'm in limbo at the moment. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEE xxxx

move come naija .Mixed kids we like well well !

DON'T!
Don't marry him.
Don't have a child with him.
Let him find someone who's really right for him.

Yes, I know what I wrote sounds very strict and that's how I meant it to sound.

First of all: you make the skin colour too big of an issue. When you're sure, colours don't matter. At the moment I feel it's just something exotic to you to have a Nigerian boyfriend but you're still embarrassed to show all the world he's the only one for you. When you really love, when you're really absolutely sure, you don't see his colour anymore. Then it won't be a problem either and you won't disturb yourself with your friends' immature opinions.

Secondly: if and when you'll have a baby you must be extra mature when your child is "different" from the majority. If then you yourself are embarrassed because of your child's looks, it'll harm him and his growth, his self-esteem and his idea of himself badly. You as a mother should be his support and protection against the prejudices coming from your environment.

Thirdly: If you love somebody, you won't hesitate in making sacrifices. And one thing you have to realize fully: as a white Australian you can basicly settle anywhere in the western world and always be able to fit in, find a job, a place to live etc. very easily. But being a Nigerian gives you problems in all thinkable areas in life if you decide to settle in Europe for example. Therefore, if the guy has built his life already in London his sacrifice to settle somewhere else with you would be much bigger and harder what you'd be facing if you two start your life together in UK.

And last but perhaps not least: I think you're still too young mentally to settle in with anybody anywhere. You let the opinions of your friends affect too much. You and your guy are on a different level: he's ready to settle, get married, have children. You're not.

I wish you both all the best,  separately 

this Jackie of a guy!