I have been out of job for some months now and my company did not pay me "upfronts" and i have been applying for another job,but have not gotten by now.Before now,my Wife has not been working and taking care of the family has been from my monthly salary.However,i have been facing financial challenges as no other source of income and not even a savings.My wife brought the idea of taking the kids to the village to stay with my mother in-law while she will go and pick a house help job of thirty thousand naira and they will provide accomodation and free meal to her,then i have to look for where to hang arround(stay) and be 'hussling'on my own on anything that come my way pending when things normalise and all of us will unite again.I told her that i dont think such a house help job is the best idea,even though i never for now has any other option on what to do.So,is sending my wife to house help job the best option?,pls advise.

There are better options. She can do the day work and come home at night. I know a lot of women are taking that option, married women who will come in the morning and leave at night.

This option is not good for a couple

Let her work but am alittle wary of the arrangements - sending the children to the village, u fending alone till something comes ur way etc. It's like scattering the family

aisha2:
There are better options. She can do the day work and come home at night. I know a lot of women are taking that option, married women who will come in the morning and leave at night.

This option is not good for a couple

I think the OP is also having challenges with accommodation cos according to his story, '...i have to look for where to hang arround(stay) and be 'hussling on my own...'

@OP, while you cannot totally disregard her options, you also should seek immediate alternatives cos if there is none, hers would be the nearest possible solution.

StPete:

I think the OP is also having challenges with accommodation cos according to his story, 'i have to look for where to hang arround(stay) and be 'hussling on my own'
@OP, while you cannot totally disregard her options, you also should seek immediate alternatives cos if there is none, hers would be the nearest possible solution.

This is so sad. Wish there was some other way. I hate to see families divided so sad

aisha2:


This is so sad. Wish there was some other way. I hate to see families divided so sad

It's quite sad. Our prayers go to the OP and his family

aisha2:
There are better options. She can do the day work and come home at night. I know a lot of women are taking that option, married women who will come in the morning and leave at night.

This option is not good for a couple

I think they are also trying to avoid house rent. The accommodation that will be provided for the wife sounds like a plus to them.

@OP, I can imagine what you and your family are passing through at the moment. I know things must have been very difficult, for your wife to consider taking on such job and living away from her family.

Is your wife educated? If yes, to what level and what certificate does she have? If no, does she have any handiwork? Is this job honestly the last resort? What is the nature of the job? Is it one that will give her sometime to better herself by learning a craft? Will she be given sometime off to be with her family when the need arises?

30k job with accommodation isn't so bad though. Desperate times call for desperate measures. It should serve as a means to an end. I will suggest she picks the job, develops herself along the line while you try to find your feet. Please, get your family to live together under same roof the moment you can afford to. The kids should not be denied the love and warmth of both parents for a long time.

Just know that "this too shall pass". It is just a phase. Be focussed. Work hard and pray hard. It will be well.

I feel so depressed reading this. For a woman to suggest this water has really passed garri level.
Hmmm. God please make a way for this family ohhhhh. God please.

OP, I can relate with the kids going to the village, but please, you and your wife should stick together.

There should be other jobs around that can afford you stay together. No family deserves being apart, whether for millions or lack of it.

There is nothing like family.



By the way, I think Nairaland should be a place where job-seekers should meet with opportunities. Instead of the trolling and useless arguments, can someone here help OP get a good job?

I believe there are many NLers who own businesses or work in places where OP (or his wife) can get a good job. NL is a community, let's help one another.

I would have helped but I am still a student.

aisha2:
I feel so depressed reading this. For a woman to suggest this water has really passed garri level.
Hmmm. God please make a way for this family ohhhhh. God please.

Amen o. #Sobs#

And people are out spending millions everyday on frivolities.

Texykool:
OP, I can relate with the kids going to the village, but please, you and your wife should stick together.
There should be other jobs around that can afford you stay together. No family deserves being apart, whether for millions or lack of it.
There is nothing like family.

You are talking about an ideal situation. Ideally, no family should be apart at any point in time. But, this is far from being ideal. And trust me, no woman would want to stay away from her family, especially her children. For her to even think about it, it must have gotten very tough.

So, if you say she shouldn't take the job, then how do they feed? Remember the man has been out of job for months, so I'm guessing their savings must have gone down drastically.

Again, how do they pay rent with zero income? The man can afford to "squat" with friends temporarilly but it won't be feasible for his wife to tag along.

The kids can stay with Grandma temporarilly while the parents sort themselves out ASAP. The wife's job comes with free feeding and accommodation. So she can even afford to save and send some back home for the kids' upkeep. The hubby can also get some cash from her no matter how small to keep his head above waters.

It is really a tough decision, but must be made for the overall betterment of the whole family. . .eventually.

Just being realistic. . .

Phema:


You are talking about an ideal situation. Ideally, no family should be apart at any point in time. But, this is far from being ideal. And trust me, no woman would want to stay away from her family, especially her children. For her to even think about it, it must have gotten very tough.

So, if you say she shouldn't take the job, then how do they feed? Remember the man has been out of job for months, so I'm guessing their savings must have gone down drastically.

Again, how do they pay rent with zero income? The man can afford to "squat" with friends temporarilly but it won't be feasible for his wife to tag along.

The kids can stay with Grandma temporarilly while the parents sort themselves out ASAP. The wife's job comes with free feeding and accommodation. So she can even afford to save and send some back home for the kids' upkeep. The hubby can also get some cash from her no matter how small to keep his head above waters.

It is really a tough decision, but must be made for the overall betterment of the whole family. . .eventually.

Just being realistic. . .

Thanks, Phema.

But the question is, is there no other job for OP and/or his wife that will pay the same amount? Is the house help thing the only solution. I understand the fact that the situation must have been very hard for the lady to suggest such. BUT IS THAT THE ONLY OPTION?
The fact that OP is asking for opinions means that he may be having second thoughts about it.

Let us exhaust all possible possibilities available.

Texykool:

Thanks, Phema.

But the question is, is there no other job for OP and/or his wife that will pay the same amount? Is the house help thing the only solution. I understand the fact that the situation must have been very hard for the lady to suggest such. BUT IS THAT THE ONLY OPTION?
The fact that OP is asking for opinions means that he may be having second thoughts about it.
Let us exhaust all possible possibilities available.

Yea. I also asked him that. This job should be a last resort.

It is well.

@ OP, l feel 4 u. but l pray dat God will make a way where it seems there is no way

Phema:


I think they are also trying to avoid house rent. The accommodation that will be provided for the wife sounds like a plus to them.

@OP, I can imagine what you and your family are passing through at the moment. I know things must have been very difficult, for your wife to consider taking on such job and living away from her family.

Is your wife educated? If yes, to what level and what certificate does she have? If no, does she have any handiwork? Is this job honestly the last resort? What is the nature of the job? Is it one that will give her sometime to better herself by learning a craft? Will she be given sometime off to be with her family when the need arises?

30k job with accommodation isn't so bad though. Desperate times call for desperate measures. It should serve as a means to an end. I will suggest she picks the job, develops herself along the line while you try to find your feet. Please, get your family to live together under same roof the moment you can afford to. The kids should not be denied the love and warmth of both parents for a long time.

Just know that "this too shall pass". It is just a phase. Be focussed. Work hard and pray hard. It will be well.

There is an accomodation challenges.While the house help job will provide her for an accomodation,i have to find may be a friend's place i can stay with.

ryut:

There is an accomodation challenges.While the house help job will provide her for an accomodation,i have to find may be a friend's place i can stay with.

If truly, this is the last resort you guys have, then let your wife go for it.

You will be fine. . .eventually.

A good pay for being a house girl, i will quickly knot my Brazilian hair and go for it. My point is, she won't be branded for being a house girl, let her take the offer if there is no alternative. Anything honest to earn a living is better than begging here and there...


So sad that a family has to scatter this way, i pray God gives you the means to unite them ASAP.

beeevan:
A good pay for being a house girl, i will quickly knot my Brazilian hair and go for it. My point is, she won't be branded for being a house girl, let her take the offer if there is no alternative. Anything honest to earn a living is better than begging here and there...


So sad that a family has to scatter this way, i pray God gives you the means to unite them ASAP.

i think she should take the job with a condition to bring her husband in as a driver, security man or a gardener. by so doing, the family remains intact.

coogar:


i think she should take the job with a condition to bring her husband in as a driver, security man or a gardener. by so doing, the family remains intact.

House girl giving conditions? I doubt her employer would accept thou.

And if they already have people doing the job, she may loose the job giving them a condition.

Sissie:



House girl giving conditions? I doubt her employer would accept thou.

And if they already have people doing the job, she may loose the job giving them a condition.

if there's an opening....
it's a better option. her employers would even see reason in that.

coogar:


i think she should take the job with a condition to bring her husband in as a driver, security man or a gardener. by so doing, the family remains intact.

Employees are in no position to issue conditions, especially where menial job that pays as much as 30k is involved.

A lot of pple r going through hard times. if only our govt will solve d economic problem, the national wealth will go round instead of bin in the hand of a few. may God help u op. THIS TOO SHALL PASS

It is hard to be parted from the kids. But drastic times call for drastic meassures. It is only for a time and I am sure everything will b okay again.
An honest job is a noble job.
Allot of Polish women leave their countries and go to other countrys to live and take care of old cpouples. After a year they go home.

What are the other options you are considering?

@op, u guys should pls go ahead with d plan.
Graduates r still paid 30k in dis cantry.

Free acco,free food. Unless u r not a hussler, ur wife can't stay there more than 6months.

I've always said this. If u r privately employed in naija, save for plan B. Don't u ever feel comfy. Anything can happen.
Save for keke,okada,small shop,anything but pls have a plan B,C,D especially if u r married.
Many of such cases abound and b4 u know it, 5yrs yet d man is still looking for a job especially if d wife is bringing in kwudi.

Op pls don't let her loose such an opportunity. At 30k a month with free accommodation,no transport to work and probably free food, she can save something from the salary after sending some for the kids upkeep in the village. Anything to keep your head above the waters.

So pathetic.. but such is life.. i will suggest if you have friends that are into business, discuss with them maybe you can be following them to 'shops' and sell for commission or hang around to bring customers for him at a little increase in price from what he sells. fast moving business in this category:clothes and shoes, tiles, general building materials, look for what people around you need and meet the need.
at this time all you need to do is look for a need and meet it no matter how small. repackage other peoples idea.
look also into waste management. cry to God for an idea.. idea rules the world. if you have people building i can direct you where to source cheap tiles.

coogar:


i think she should take the job with a condition to bring her husband in as a driver, security man or a gardener. by so doing, the family remains intact.

Exactly what I wanted to suggest

Quite a number of families here prefer matured women than househelps to mind their kids

@OP: God will take control

beeevan:




Employees are in no position to issue conditions, especially where menial job that pays as much as 30k is involved.

She will not issue it as a condition, she will appeal to them

coogar:


if there's an opening....
it's a better option. her employers would even see reason in that.

A good option for then but employers don't like it except they don't know.There is always that fear of collusion amongst relatives or couples working in the same place.

@OP - let your wife take the job since there seems to be no better option but she really doesn't have to do it for long. She should save aggressively for some months and use that to establish herself in a business. Hopefully, you would also have gotten something doing by then and your family can get back together again.

bukatyne:


She will not issue it as a condition, she will appeal to them

Hmmmm, there is no harm in trial abi, i pray God provides a means for them ASAP.

ryut:
I have been out of job for some months now and my company did not pay me "upfronts" and i have been applying for another job,but have not gotten by now.Before now,my Wife has not been working and taking care of the family has been from my monthly salary.However,i have been facing financial challenges as no other source of income and not even a savings.My wife brought the idea of taking the kids to the village to stay with my mother in-law while she will go and pick a house help job of thirty thousand naira and they will provide accomodation and free meal to her,then i have to look for where to hang arround(stay) and be 'hussling'on my own on anything that come my way pending when things normalise and all of us will unite again.I told her that i dont think such a house help job is the best idea,even though i never for now has any other option on what to do.So,is sending my wife to house help job the best option?,pls advise.

This is just so sad..
What type of school will the kids attend in the village?
Your wife ,a married woman living in someone's house,the kids elsewhere and you hanging somewhere else
Is there no one that can rent you guys a room to hang together while she does the house help work going from the house and returning nightly?
Even if you need to move to the ghetto part of town,it is better you are all together than split apart
This is not a good idea at all especially for the children
How many kids are we talking about here?
Please look for another option to stay together even if you have to work as a security man in the place she works as a housekeeper.