When it comes to the issue of employing  house maids i'm scared stiff, ah! I don tire for dia wahala! The first ever maid I employed prior to my first delivery claimed to be 23years old. Blessing started off quite well  the first few weeks but I started noticing changes after I put to birth, her job description was basically cleaning the house and nothing more. She doesn't cook nor do my laundry, she doesn't even look after my little baby. 

Problem started when she felt her duty was to watch African megic(africa magic), oh yes! That's how she pronounces it, some chores will be half done and some untouched. Even when I send her to get the house chores done, she does them haphazardly so she can watch her beloved African megic. In a bid to take it easy with her not come off too controlling I didn't ban her from watching it but when she started grumbling and talking back at me when I complain of a poorly done job I knew she needed to leave Before she becomes my boss.

Shortly after my first maid left I got a new one. I decided she wasn't going to live with me, she started work few days into the month of October, she was dedicated and never bothered if there was a tv or not in the house. Trouble started when she started bringing her entire community clothes to wash in my house since I have a constant and steady water supply. I'm not against her using my water or clothe line but she took her laundry more serious than her work in my home. 

When I paid her December salary, she announced she wasn't returning after xmas break, upon further inquiry she said she wanted to get married. I was devastated but had no choice than to let her go. 

My husband decided I look for one from my hometown, I quickly sent a word to few relatives to get a matured girl for me  as I am strongly against child labour. A fifteen year old girl named Agi(short for Agnes) was sent to me after the festive season, I got her acquainted with her new home and nature of the job the following day after her arrival. She was so excited she was in the city...lol. she was dedicated to her work and was willing to do anything to further her education. We had an agreement with her parents.  she was going to rewrite her Senior secondary certificate exams which she failed at the first attempt. I enrolled her in extra mural classes which she attends every evening. Problem started when she started coming home late and upon investigations she was getting too comfortable with the street security guards. It didn't end there‎ her folks where bombarding us with heavy financial demands. The dad will call today and ask for money for his leaking roof. How much is it? I'll ask baba. 
N30,000 my daughter.
Haba! Baba do you want to re-roof your entire house? DH(darling husband) and I will send him the money. 
Mama not wanting to be left out will call almost immediately. 
"My daughter, I am the only one without the recommended lace and wrapper for christian mothers meeting, God alone will bless you if you send me N20,000 to purchase it". ‎Oh no! Here we go again....Gosh! we send her the money again to make it even. Agi's  siblings ain't left out as well they practically turned to us as there personal lord and saviour. We just had to bundle Agi back to her villa Before she runs us into debit mode.

While trying to figure out where next to get a maid my close friend came crying to me one faithful day, what happened? Oga gave maid belle. What?!?! This my friend in question has issues conceiving, you can imagine how devastated she was.  I consoled her and that alone got me scared again on a whole new level. I began to‎ hear even more scarier stories from fellow church members on how maids initiate kids into occultic activities and even sexually defiling kids. An old friend of mine once told me in confidence he was disvirgined by his maid when he was 10yrs and they kept having sex till he was 17yrs. That's utterly disgusting I must say.

I weighed the pros and cons of having a maid, the cons outweighed the pros and that's how I resolved never to have a maid again. I invested more on labor saving machines/equipments  and DH helps when and where he can as well. Not easy though with my multitude of kids...whew! Family planning that has always failed women since the days of Abraham. I'll gist you guys on that in my next post.


Source: www.diaryofanaijamom..com

I don't like third party in my house talkless of maid .... visit and leave. Third party stays in Guest house.

Me no like wahala oooo.

Interesting post, but I must add that a fifteen year old is still a child.

Good thing you've been able to workaround this, and invested in domestic appliances. That would have been my first suggestion to you as they make light household chores, require low maintenance to keep working, can work unsociable hours, and most importantly, will never talk back at you.

My second suggestion, in addition to the above, would have been for you to consider hiring an older, more mature woman. Preferably one that's reached menopause.

EfemenaXY:
Interesting post, but I must add that a fifteen year old is still a child.

Good thing you've been able to workaround this, and invested in domestic appliances. That would have been my first suggestion to you as they make light household chores, require low maintenance to keep working, can work unsociable hours, and most importantly, will never talk back at you.

My second suggestion, in addition to the above, would have been for you to consider hiring an older, more mature woman. Preferably one that's reached menopause.

That would be two mamas in one house....
You wan suffocate the man...
Pls 0p, stick to washing machine and any other machine even cooking machine...
If ever the machines fail, we'd eat out or prepare something easy...
Don't bring any 50 year old efe abeg
I take God beg you

njokusboy:


That would be two mamas in one house....
You wan suffocate the man...
Pls 0p, stick to washing machine and any other machine even cooking machine...
If ever the machines fail, we'd eat out or prepare something easy...
Don't bring any 50 year old efe abeg
I take God beg you

Lol! You flatter me.

Yes, a woman of menopausal age is what she needs, to help out where the domestic appliances can't - like looking after the kids in her absence.

That is afterall, the reason for employing such a lady in the first place, and not to provide the man with a bedmate.

When hubby and wifey works from 8-5 is it machine that would look after kids?
Am lucky to have a 28 yr old good maid
2yrs now and no serious issue ,she doesn't live with me
Most older nanny have more issues than younger girls
I can't do this at my age or she insulted me
Any little thing is an insult to them

EfemenaXY:


Lol! You flatter me.

Yes, a woman of menopausal age is what she needs, to help out where the domestic appliances can't - like looking after the kids in her absence.

That is afterall, the reason for employing such a lady in the first place, and not to provide the man with a bedmate.

I know...

But we men don't relish the sight of old women hanging around all the time...
We go run leave the house for una.

Abeg, let the couple manage themselves like that...

I have coped for twenty years without help It is hard but the best thing for the family. You learn to share responsibilities and you learn teamwork. It also equips the kid's for later.

No, it's not. Especially in a Nigerian home, I mean one where the husband is a Nigerian.
Most Nigerian men are like animals. They lack self control and believe it's okay to cheat.
They'll sleep with your sister, cousin, maid, niece, even your colleagues and they'll still try to justify it.
Sick species.

njokusboy:


I know...

But we men don't relish the sight of old women hanging around all the time...
We go run leave the house for una.

Abeg, let the couple manage themselves like that...

But it's an effective deterrent. At least the oga won't be entertaining ideas about "knocking up" the hired help.

Until the system of maid employment changes in NIGERIA, na so so story we go dey hear.
Somebody really needs to invest in that business and create a home service rendering company that takes professionalism very seriously. That way, any maid hired will know that if he/she messes up, they will have consequences to face with their boss.

Dangotesmummy, this might be a good way to invest all those your billions that you're using to slap people anyhow

EfemenaXY:




But it's an effective deterrent. At least the oga won't be entertaining ideas about "knocking up" the hired help.

Yeah, and an effective way of driving us into the arms of another woman

teasel:
No, it's not. Especially in a Nigerian home, I mean one where the husband is a Nigerian.
Most Nigerian men are like animals. They lack self control and believe it's okay to cheat.
They'll sleep with your sister, cousin, maid, niece, even your colleagues and they'll still try to justify it.
Sick species.

How many of ur family members has your husband slept with?

mutter:
I have coped for twenty years without help It is hard but the best thing for the family. You learn to share responsibilities and you learn teamwork. It also equips the kid's for later.

True that. But it depends to a large extent on where you're based. In Naija, domestic helps are two-a-penny at best.

mutter:
I have coped for twenty years without help It is hard but the best thing for the family. You learn to share responsibilities and you learn teamwork. It also equips the kid's for later.

How did you learn to work around it?

When the kids were young, etc.

Thanks

teasel:
No, it's not. Especially in a Nigerian home, I mean one where the husband is a Nigerian.
Most Nigerian men are like animals. They lack self control and believe it's okay to cheat.
They'll sleep with your sister, cousin, maid, niece, even your colleagues and they'll still try to justify it.
Sick species.

Nigerian men don suffer....chai!

bukatyne:


How did you learn to work around it?

When the kids were young, etc.

Thanks

I was younger and had more energy. But it still drove me mad and was very exhausting.

teasel:
No, it's not. Especially in a Nigerian home, I mean one where the husband is a Nigerian.
Most Nigerian men are like animals. They lack self control and believe it's okay to cheat.
They'll sleep with your sister, cousin, maid, niece, even your colleagues and they'll still try to justify it.
Sick species.

chai... and the women nko... fancy makeup... only to go to bed with a diva and wake up with a scarecrow... you're just pained jare...

mutter:


I was younger and had more energy. But it still drove me mad and was very exhausting.

Thanks but the answer was not specific na

I wanted specific instances

bukatyne:


Thanks but the answer was not specific na

I wanted specific instances

Check this link, this might answer a bit of your question.
Thanks

http://diaryofanaijamom..com/2015/06/my-inspiration-and-need-to-get-kids-busy.html?m=1

africanpea:


Check this link, this might answer a bit of your question.
Thanks

http://diaryofanaijamom..com/2015/06/my-inspiration-and-need-to-get-kids-busy.html?m=1

Thanks, I will

Use the money for maids to get basic equipment in the house.
have at most 2.- 3 kids.

Husband 100% involved.
good creche or family to help out once a while and you are good to go.

We will do something about it ma

cococandy:
Until the system of maid employment changes in NIGERIA, na so so story we go dey hear.
Somebody really needs to invest in that business and create a home service rendering company that takes professionalism very seriously. That way, any maid hired will know that if he/she messes up, they will have consequences to face with their boss.

Dangotesmummy, this might be a good way to invest all those your billions that you're using to slap people anyhow

bukatyne:


Thanks but the answer was not specific na

I wanjted specific instances

I promise tomorrow. Was working the whole say today in the church.

mutter:


I promise tomorrow. Was working the whole say today in the church.

Thanks, will be waiting.

Is it really possible not to get external help when you have two full time working parents and kids?

Maybe it is but the woman will age and die quickly. It's meaningless to live that way when you can afford help

Networking and referrals is sometimes the key to getting a good help. And of course, praying to have the right person sent your way

bukatyne:


Thanks, will be waiting.

I don`t really know how to explain it but I put tried to find means to make things easier.- I don`t by things that make dirt. I avoid themlike popcorn. . Anything I buy, dec, furniture, cloths i asses the ease oor difficulty of getting it clean.
- I pay more emphasis on keeping clean than tidying up because you can clean all you like for hours, you achieve nothing if it get`s scattered faster than you clean.
- one of my major cleaning methods is disposal. It is amazing how some people just have so many things hurded, you cant make it look tidy.
I try to make things easy in the kitchen. Like I wash my beans for moi moi in bulk and freeze them.
I try to get as much help as I cam from my husband.
I don`t enslave myself to my chores. When I am tired then it has to wait for another day.

You have to learn to stop putting preasure on yourself. You cannot be 100% mother and 100% career woman.

DO YOUR BEST AND LEAVE THE REST TO REST.

mutter:

I don`t really know how to explain it but I put tried to find means to make things easier.- I don`t by things that make dirt. I avoid themlike popcorn. . Anything I buy, dec, furniture, cloths i asses the ease oor difficulty of getting it clean.
- I pay more emphasis on keeping clean than tidying up because you can clean all you like for hours, you achieve nothing if it get`s scattered faster than you clean.
- one of my major cleaning methods is disposal. It is amazing how some people just have so many things hurded, you cant make it look tidy.
I try to make things easy in the kitchen. Like I wash my beans for moi moi in bulk and freeze them.
I try to get as much help as I cam from my husband.
I don`t enslave myself to my chores. When I am tired then it has to wait for another day.

You have to learn to stop putting preasure on yourself. You cannot be 100% mother and 100% career woman.

DO YOUR BEST AND LEAVE THE REST TO REST.

Thanks a lot for the response.