thorpido:
You're right those words are not in the bible.However,not everything we say as Christians is necessarily in the bible.God already gave us a guide(the Bible) and His Spirit.

In Matthew 19 from vs 3,the Pharisees came to ask Jesus about divorce and Jesus replied in vs 4.He said,
'...And said unto them,Have ye not read,that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female,and said,for this cause shall a man leave father and mother,and shall cleave to his wife:and they twain shall be one flesh?Wherefore they are no more twain,but one flesh.

The words of Jesus here simply means they stick together forever in all situations(for better for worse as some say).

In vs8,He responded to further questioning by saying,'Moses because of the HARDNESS OF YOUR HEARTS suffered you to put away your wives(or your husbands):but FROM THE BEGINNING it was not so.
You can see the divorce stems from a hardness of the heart.Abuse,sexual neglect and addiction all come about as a result of the hardness of the heart.Christian teachings do not encourage anyone to continue in such a relationship.The Word of God is that love should grow in the hearts of a couple and naturally,they wouldn't have a reason to even want to separate.Where that cannot be achieved,separation is inevitable.

.....by the way some churches have modified those words and some simply say.......' for better,for richer and in health'.

bukatyne:


I agree with you

Paul said if an unbelieving partner wants to leave, he/she is free to do so.

I strongly do not believe a cheat, abusive partner etc. is a believer

bukatyne:


I agree with you

Paul said if an unbelieving partner wants to leave, he/she is free to do so.

I strongly do not believe a cheat, abusive partner etc. is a believer

thorpido:
No you can't be a believer and continue to live a life doing things that destroy marriage.

thorpido:
No you can't be a believer and continue to live a life doing things that destroy marriage.

Missmossy:
That it's not in the Bible doesn't mean it has no Biblical roots or origin

tbaba1234:


What if both parties are just not compatible or fall out of love... Maybe they start to grow apart or they have different incompatible dreams and no one is willing to give theirs up.

What if none of them is deliberately doing anything to hurt the marriage but it still suffers. What if multiple counselling fails to change the situation, what if they are both unhappy making them irritable.

bukatyne:


I agree with you

Paul said if an unbelieving partner wants to leave, he/she is free to do so.

I strongly do not believe a cheat, abusive partner etc. is a believer

aisha2:


Please do show. Show where it states so and not twist it in your own words.
Till death do us part also has no Biblical reference but as usual we swallow things hook, line and sinker no questions asked.
Anyone who dares asks questions is attacked while the answer is never provided.

Amhappy:
Wedding in the bible was never held in the church but in the couples home. It was never officiated by a pastor,priest or judge. Fathers were actually the centre so its was trad marriage. No certificates were issued then. All these things were introduced at a point in the christian faith because it was necessary and for legality sake. God hates divorce so in ideal condition those vows are right for a christian marriage. If one profess for better,in health,for richer is he saying that he/she will leave the spouse if sickness comes. If divorce becomes necessary,proper procedure must be followed. However except in rare cases church does not grant divorce. If you marry a divorcee,thats adultery. Most divorces follow secular proceeding.

thorpido:
In those days there were no churches.Fellowships(churches-it's not about the building but the gathering) were held in homes.They usually had a religious leader(can be called a pastor) who presided over the ceremony.
The issuance of certificates were actually secular practices but the church is part of the society and the society part of the church and since it is not contrary to church doctrines,it was adopted.It is good for legality sake.

Saying for better,in health and for richer does not mean abandoning the spouse when sickness comes or there is a setback in finances.Those words are actually confessions of faith.The bible let's us know we are children of faith.
Like you wrote,divorce proceedings are actually secular proceedings.
The love of God working in a couple will NEVER lead them to divorce and that is why it was never a church procedure.

Amhappy:
@thorpido there were also little account of wedding ceremonies in the bible and most of them religious head were not mentioned. Leah and Rachel was giiven in marriage by Laban(their father),Mary was betrothed to Joseph,even the wedding @Cana was purely a feast. Religious ceremony were introduced by early Christians and was not recorded in the bible.

Amhappy:


Well on the 'for better,in health etc' there is actually nothing wrong with it,it is a declaration of faith as you said. However there is nothing wrong with 'for better for worse'. The traditional vow is a clear statement that no matter the condition we will be together. But Op made it look that this traditional vow is what stops people undergoing abuse from seeking divorce. Divorce is never part of Christian marriage even if your vow only says 'I love you'. However if divorce becomes necessary,then there is the societal way. Putting laxity on the marriage law will destroy the santity of christian marriage. Developed countries are typical examples.

engrtee:
"I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness". (I can't see the verse in the Bible)



If couples take a wedding vow that is not in the Bible, is the vow to God or to man? This made me to sit and wonder: what kind of vow Abraham and Sarah took and they stayed together for 90-solid years, even though childless? What kind of vow did Mary the mother of Jesus and Joseph her husband sign that they stayed together, even though Jesus was conceived by the Holy spirit? Were there any happily married people in the Bible that we can make references to? did they take any vows that we need to read and learn from? For better or for worse, our parents and grandparents, some of whom came from polygamous homes seem to still have it better than what we have nowadays. They didn’t take any vows, did they?
For better or for worse is not in the Bible, where did Christendom get it from? Are there not other things Christians grow up with, beliefs they have, orientations they have which are not in the Bible


the recommendationsmost Christians make for marriage are good. The failure of Christian marriage, however, is that those same people would tell you “for better or worse” means you have to put up with abuse, sexual neglect and addiction. My criticism of this concept has been the same for years: it works great as long as everyone obeys the rules; when they don’t, you’re stuck with no recourse for a spouse’s bad behavior. All the good ideas in the world mean nothing if your misbehaving spouse knows you will never leave. Such a marriage philosophy just creates a breeding ground for neglect and abuse.
I strongly believe that marriages should be for BETTER

engrtee:
"I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness". (I can't see the verse in the Bible)



If couples take a wedding vow that is not in the Bible, is the vow to God or to man? This made me to sit and wonder: what kind of vow Abraham and Sarah took and they stayed together for 90-solid years, even though childless? What kind of vow did Mary the mother of Jesus and Joseph her husband sign that they stayed together, even though Jesus was conceived by the Holy spirit? Were there any happily married people in the Bible that we can make references to? did they take any vows that we need to read and learn from? For better or for worse, our parents and grandparents, some of whom came from polygamous homes seem to still have it better than what we have nowadays. They didn’t take any vows, did they?
For better or for worse is not in the Bible, where did Christendom get it from? Are there not other things Christians grow up with, beliefs they have, orientations they have which are not in the Bible


the recommendationsmost Christians make for marriage are good. The failure of Christian marriage, however, is that those same people would tell you “for better or worse” means you have to put up with abuse, sexual neglect and addiction. My criticism of this concept has been the same for years: it works great as long as everyone obeys the rules; when they don’t, you’re stuck with no recourse for a spouse’s bad behavior. All the good ideas in the world mean nothing if your misbehaving spouse knows you will never leave. Such a marriage philosophy just creates a breeding ground for neglect and abuse.
I strongly believe that marriages should be for BETTER

Kanwulia:
Any marriage ceremony for h-insai bible?

All we read is that:

He "took her" and "he lay with her" and "he knew her"!

Local tins!

Kimoni:



And what if the believing partner wants to leave? Is he or she also free to do so? #just asking

bukatyne:


Why would a believing partner want to leave?

bukatyne:


Why would a believing partner want to leave?

Mystiqme:

If they are being cheated/abused by their unbelieving partner?

Kimoni:


same reasons why the unbelieving partner is told he/she is free to leave.