I love the beauty of our African culture, especially where it comes to marriage, family relationships and communal affairs. These are what set us apart from other parts of the world especially Europe and America where true communal and family living are almost non-existent. However I came across the following list for a marriage ceremony recently which set me thinking about the propriety or otherwise of some of these time-old cultures. I mean, are some things not actually overdone or long overdue for reform, overhaul or outright replacement? I know for a fact there are some communities in Nigeria today especially in Igboland where a lot of marriageable women abound but the men cannot stretch forth their hands because of some retrogressive customs attached to marriage in those parts. I have discussed with some of the affected peoples and I found to my dismay that even the ladies are not perturbed about these customs, with most insisting that it must be done to them according to/as it was done to their mates. My questions now are: Aside the financial aspects which may be insignificant to many of us as far as a serious suitor is concerned, but are all these really necessary? Must one buy packets of cigarette (which according to the Federal Ministry of Health is very dangerous to health), snuff, kaikai, cloths for mother and siblings, walking stick for father etc just because he wants to marry one of your daughters? How does this help the girl’s family or, even more importantly, the development of the marriage institution in such a society? Contributions are welcome because I really want to understand this phenomenon. Below is a sample of a specimen marriage list for a community in Delta State which’s name I would not mention.
Where in the world is marriage list as long as this? Gentlemen please share your experiences….
LIST FOR TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE
ITEM 1 PRESENTATION OF KOLA-NUT
I carton of beer
1 crate of mineral
1 bottle of native jin (kai kai)
8 kola nut garden eggs and alligator pepper
Supporting of the kola nut.

ITEM 2 OGANUZO
4 cartons pf beer (Star or Gulder)
1 crate of Small Stout
1 crate of Malta Guinness
2 crates of Mineral
I bottle of English hot (Seaman)
2 bottles of Native hot (kai kai)
8 kola nut and garden eggs
4 packets of cigarette (St. Moritz and Benson)

ITEM 3 OPUSA OGBE (1)
6 cartons of beer (Star or Gulder0
3 crates of Small Stout
2 crates of Malta Guinness
3 crates of Mineral
4 bottles of English hot (original hot)
4 bottles of wine
20 gallons of palm wine
20 gallons of raffia wine
6 packets of St. Moritz
6 packets of Benson.
ITEM 4 OPUSA OGBE (2)
7 cartons of beer (Star or Gulder)
6 crates of Small Stout
4 crates of Malta Guinness
6 crates of Mineral
6 bottles of English hot
6 bottles of wine
12 bottles of Native hot (kai kai)
30 gallons of Palm wine
30 gallons of raffia wine
2 rolls of cigarette (St Moritz and Benson)
Kola nut and garden egg (Aligator pepper)

ITEM 5 THE FAMILY REQUIREMENT UMU NNADI
1 carton of beer
1 crate of Malt N2000
1 bottle of English hot.

ITEM 6 FAMILY WOMAN UMUADA
1 crate of Malta Guinness N2000

ITEM 7 MARRIED WOMAN
1 crate of Malt N1000

ITEM 8 FATHER REQUIREMENT
One set of Chieftaincy wears such as: 1 Chieftaincy garment
1 Chieftaincy cloth
1 Chieftaincy staff
1 Chieftaincy Cap
ITEM 9 MARRIAGE AGREEMENT FOR OUR DAUGHTER – N2000.

ITEM 10 WATER AND FIREWOOD N1500.

ITEM 11 BEATING OF THE PRICE
1 carton of Gulder and N2000.

ITEM 12 MOTHER REQUIREMENT
1 complete six yards of cloth (Gorge or Hollandies)
1 Blouse
1 Hair tie
A pair of Shoe

ITEM 13 COOKING
1 big Goat
1 bag of Rice
4 gallons of Groundnut oil
1 crate of Mineral
N2000. for other things.

Delta state huh?

After they will say Imo ppl r unnecessarily extorbitant wen their daughters want to get married....

Odimma! Fingerz crossed,waitin....

At first I thought the list didn't have an end... If naso marriage expensive reach many men for no marry o

Minus the gallons of Palm wine and raffia wine, I don't think the list is too bad lol

In earlier days, the expenses would be born by the entire clan of the suitor. That made it easier. Its since become quite commercial.

It is also said that in a traditional marriage, it is the (extended) families of the couple that are getting married. For this reason, I do not believe adding another expensive white wedding is necessary. Just get the cert in a small exclusive ceremony.

It does help ground the marriage in that the couple will always be aware of their responsibility to the larger family, and will be within reach of marital counselling when things get bad.