[center]' WE MUST NOT PURSUE THE KIND OF SEX THAT AVOIDS COMMITMENT AND INTIMACY, LEAVING US MORE LONELY THAN EVER, ' 1 CORINTHIANS 6:16 TM[/center]
   
  Columnist Ann Landers wrote: 'When a man tells you to 'prove your love' by committing fornication with him, tell him: "Girls need to prove their love through illicit sex like a moose needs a hat-rack." Why not prove your love by sticking your head in th oven and turning on the gas? Or how about playing leap-frog in traffic? It's about as safe. Clear the cobwebs out of your head. Anybody who asks you to prove your love is trying to take you for the biggest, most gullible foolthat ever walked. That "proving it" bit is one of the most rotten lines ever invented. Does he love you? It doesn't sound like it. Someone who loves you wants whatever's best for you. Figure it out. He wants you to commit an immoral act, surrender your virtue,compromise your character, throw away your self-respect, risk the loss of your reputation and risk of getting you pregnant, getting diseased or getting into trouble. Wise up! He wants the best for him! He wants a thrill he can brag about at your expense. Love? Who is kidding who? A guy who loves a girl would sooner cut off his right arm than hurt her. The truth is, this self-serving individual has proved that he doesn't love you at all. The predictable aftermath always finds Don Juan tiring his sport. That's when he drops you, picks up his line and goes casting elsewhere for another equally gullible fish. If he loves you, let him prove it; at the altar.'

Great post there, Doctor! Though sex can lead to a greater sense of bonding between willing partners, it however is not the yardstick for measuring how much a man loves a woman. Nevertheless, I don't believe that true love ultimately leads to the altar. Love has so many nuances and could take several dimensions that we could find two individuals who are undoubtedly so much in love, yet they end up not getting married to each other, which is more reason neither sex nor marriage is the end of love, and neither is love the means to them.

Love is all about being there for one another. It's all about a willingness to make conscious (and even unconscious) efforts to make sacrifices for the other. It's the disposition to always wanting to give without expecting anything in return. It is the apogee of the I - Thou relationship talked about by the existentialist. It is the feeling of oneness with the other person, the realisation of yourself in your neighbour (whether the relationship is sexual or nonsexual).

The mistake we often make is that of trying to orphan the erotic love from the agape love. They are one and the same, but manifesting under different lights. God created man and woman and I believe He wanted sex to be part of the procreative process. Yet we have men and women who live in the same community, love each other (or one another) so much, but no sex. It's all one and the same, which is why St. Paul would tell us that it is good to get married, but better to remain single and celibate (he has his reasons, so don't be so quick to attack that).

All said and done, true love will always be true love, manifesting itself in selfless sacrifice for the other (without conditions), whether it leads to the altar ultimately or not. If the sex aids the bonding and the parties are willing, good and fine, but those of us who must be in the good books of their religious leaders should know that they should avoid sex before marriage.