She's obviously not doomed but how many men are prepared to look beyond those marks? Ask the lady you mentioned how it must have felt wondering if she'd ever get approached by a man. Its not easy . . .

DavidDylan:

the poster is obviously not worried about getting a job or making it as an entertainer or padding her wallet with some benjamins.

She was not upfront about it but it is not farfetched to say her real problem is getting the men she likes to approach her.

Seal's case was a known medical problem . . . besides his unmistakeable talent carried him far enough that women were prepared to forget his face and marry him. Even if Seal were to lose his head tomorrow there will be no shortage of women ready to marry him.

Our poster here has no such advantage.

U didnt answer my ques though.

But first he accepted himself for who he was,scars and all.There are many in his position that would have hidden their faces from the world but he didn't.
I'm sure there are several others we never hear of who have "overcome" things they couldn't help.
That is the same situation here.
She like seal didn't bring it upon herself and a scar is a scar.
The girl needs upliftment and not a put down.
She should not let her scars define her.

DavidDylan:

She's obviously not doomed but how many men are prepared to look beyond those marks? Ask the lady you mentioned how it must have felt wondering if she'd ever get approached by a man. Its not easy . . .

I'm sure there's a man out there who would look beyond her scars.
There are some of us women that look beyond just the physical and look for substance in a man first (thank God mine came with both)
'll rather be with an intelligent man with no comeliness than a handsome airhead.
I don't believe there are no men who would do same.
I said this on another thread,I know this fine girl,a physician,excellent shape, charming personality and she has 2 long unsightly scars on her face from tribal marking and she's married to a very handsome guy with absolutely no marks.

Something must have made her very self conscience.  I agree with David its not easy you will get people asking whats wrong with your face
I do know a lady whoses tribal marks turned into huge keloids she have about 8 marks each side you can imagine the state of her face.

But she was beautiful loud and proud I dont know how many years it took her to bulid herself up.  She married and had about 4 kids.

Kweenisha:

I'm sure there's a man out there who would look beyond her scars.
There are some of us women that look beyond just physical and look for substance in a man first (thank God mine came with both)
I don't believe there are no men who would do same.
I said this on another thread,I know this fine girl,a physician,excellent shape, charming personality and she has 2 long unsightly scars on her face from tribal marking and she's married to a very handsome guy with absolutely no marks.

You are right, but obviously the poster is having a crisis of confidence at the moment. Its not easy watching everyone around u get married and u think maybe if not for the scars someone would have come for u too. i feel for her.

She can believe . . . but she cant go approaching men now can she?

LadyT:

Something must have made her very self conscience. I agree with David its not easy you will get people asking whats wrong with your face
I do know a lady whoses tribal marks turned into huge keloids she have about 8 marks each side you can imagine the state of her face.

But she was beautiful loud and proud I don't know how many years it took her to bulid herself up. She married and had about 4 kids.

my point exactly.

lucabrasi:

@chinenyen
seal didnt start his life as a millionaire as he lived rough for quite a number of years,was deceived back to nigeria by his parents and suffered before he got his passport and went back to the uk

Oh okay. Thanks. I didn't know that.

@ david and lady T ,I don't deny her reality which you have pointed out but she came looking for advice.
Is there nothing you can say since her face remains unchanged despite her efforts

Thats not true about Seal!

He went into child care after his parents went AWOL!

Kweenisha:

I don't deny her reality which you have pointed out but whe came looking for advice.
Is there nothing you can say since her face remains unchanged despite her efforts

Of course there are things i would have loved to say but i like to be a pragmatist. Its easy to "offer" advice since we have never and will never walk in her shoes. I try to understand what its like to live in her face just for one day . . .

I have seen guys who are scared to approach women because of the way they think their face looks . . . the effect must be 10-fold in a woman.

All i can tell her is to take heart, if she can afford plastic surgery she shld go ahead and do something about it.

I dont think she should lose hope thats why I spoke about the lady with horrific keloid scarring due to her tribal marks.

There are people out there who look beyond the physical.  And Im quite sure its not at bad as you think.  Dont be ashamed!

Seal's parents were useless.Which mother gives out her own child for foster care at 4?
Only to take him back a few years later and abandon him again?
Then he ends up with a father who beat him daily with a belt like they were in Ajegunle.
No wonder the poor guy hardly ever mentions his heritage.
He was on the Steve harvey radio show this morning and said he was born in London and that his parents were [b]West African immigrants.
That kind of hurt me to hear him say that.[/b]

Na today?? That is how banky said he was American but his parents are from Africa.

Thanks every1, mine's actually not that bad and it gets reduced when i APPLY MAKE-UP AND THE LIKES.

I do get approached by men of all colours as it's not always the first thing you notice (I hope), but I can't get past the marks,

I refuse male offers because I think that's all he's going to stare at after a while and he'll leave me.

Thanks for the surgery options but does any1 know for sure one in the UK that I can go to? (Blv me Ve been to loads!)

Ve spent all my savings trying to get them off and am afraid if I don't get one that can help I will just keep wasting money on trial and error.

Funkky123:

Thanks everyone, mine's actually not that bad and it gets reduced when i APPLY MAKE-UP AND THE LIKES.

I do get approached by men of all colours as it's not always the first thing you notice (I hope), but I can't get past the marks,

I refuse male offers because I think that's all he's going to stare at after a while and he'll leave me.

Thanks for the surgery options but does anyone know for sure one in the UK that I can go to? (Blv me Ve been to loads!)

Ve spent all my savings trying to get them off and am afraid[b] if I don't get one that can help I will just keep wasting money on trial and error[/b].

Oh dear!

.

.

na tiger u fight with hahahahaha

tpia:

going by nairaland one would think tribal marks are as common as garri, in the western part of Nigeria.

Never mind the fact that I DO NOT know anyone among my dad's contemporaries who has tribal marks. In spite of the fact that most of them had parents who werent educated.

But thanks to nairaland, I now know tribal marks are the norm among the Yoruba, and Yorubas without tribal marks are extremely rare. They're the exception and they're viewed as being abnormal.

when I was younger, I had one teacher with tribal marks. She was also happily married to a rich guy, by the way. Since then, I've seen people with tribal marks here and there (maybe up to 8 over the past 16 years), but never as commonly as one would think going by nairaland. I don't know sha, there may be people who only meet tribally marked Yorubas- it depends I guess.


@ OP: post a picture of your tribal marks, if you can get one on the web.

Which generation is your father going by your 30's age?

This generation

Olubadan

or
this generation

alaafin of oyo

or this one done in 2007 at Ibadan

Little Quadri babaola getting baptized with knife last year

This:



Or



or





Which is your generation and how come you've only seen 8 in your lifetime  when I saw more than 12 this morning alone?

Why is nonsense so called Identity still going on?

I rem. someone telling that the marks are used as Identity during the slavery times or something like that. . . .those days have passed. Why continue to cling to such thing?

Why is nonsense so called Identity still going on?

I rem. someone telling that the marks are used as Identity during the slavery times or something like that. . . .those days have passed. Why continue to cling to such thing?

I think its more than that. It is also spiritual and that is difficult for people to drop.

Aloy.Emeka:

I think its more than that. It is also spiritual and that is difficult for people to drop.

This might sound ignorant, but I have no other way to put it; WHAT IS SPIRITUAL ABOUT IT?

This might sound ignorant, but I have no other way to put it; WHAT IS SPIRITUAL ABOUT IT?

It may not be divine from your own perspective but it's special to those that do it just like the way or your religion may look less spiritual to them.

Ok, thanks. I guess I understand, still doesn't mean I approve Tribal marks. Not like I need to sha

These things have much to do with self-confidence. I agree

I know a pre-law student here in the states. Small-time model who dresses cute, is sophisticated, has a boyfriend (not Nigerian though - some other African country) and has friends from everywhere. Beautiful, 100% yoruba chic. Her scars look something like this:

[img]http://data4.blog.de/media/002/1749002_aab05c4702_m.jpeg[/img]

I don't see it stopping her in anyway.

See as dem slash people face?!

Chei!!

Nnenna1:

These things have much to do with self-confidence. I agree

I know a pre-law student here in the states. Small-time model who dresses cute, is sophisticated, has a boyfriend (not Nigerian though - some other African country) and has friends from everywhere. Beautiful, 100% yoruba chic. Her scars look something like this:

[img]http://data4.blog.de/media/002/1749002_aab05c4702_m.jpeg[/img]

I don't see it stopping her in anyway.

Will you like to have such scars?. Her boyfriend must be blind. How can i chase this kin face in the midst of beauty queens? The boyfriend must be living in scarcity.

Nnenna1:

These things have much to do with self-confidence. I agree

I know a pre-law student here in the states. Small-time model who dresses cute, is sophisticated, has a boyfriend (not Nigerian though - some other African country) and has friends from everywhere. Beautiful, [b]100% yoruba chic. [/b]Her scars look something like this:

I don't see it stopping her in anyway.

What are you saying?
Non-Nigerian Yoruba girl?

What are you saying?
Non-Nigerian Yoruba girl?

No, non Nigerian boyfriend.

Her boyfriend is not Nigerian, I mean.