How Much Is Too Much? - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / How Much Is Too Much? (3241 Views)
| How Much Is Too Much? by Evina(f): 1:32pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
They always say a good relationship is one that is transparent. One where both parties are open enough to share every and anything. But, we have seen and heard of cases where, confiding in your partner about a past error, led to the opening of a door that leads to distrust, uncertainty and unhappiness. Question: how far should you go, in terms of building transparency? Is it not wise to understand your partners level of maturity/ability to handle certain stuff before divulging? My people, how una see am? Oya talk ya own.  1 Like |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 1:56pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
In life u don't say much bout urself cos wat u say today if u not careful can b use in the wrong way against u. A powerful person wo tell d real secret about is power knws he/she won't last a day. 1 Like |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 2:21pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
I dnt agree with 100% transparency with ur partner,some things are better left unsaid..... |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 2:24pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
I can only disclose things that are beneficiary to my woman and to the relationship itself. Any other toxic past errors in the name of transparency is a big NO. |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 2:26pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
I believe in 100% transparency. We can always be open about everything without necessarily going into details. |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by jmoore(m): 2:36pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
If you are married, nothing is too much. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by fuckshit: 2:55pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
Wise people say that too much of anything is good for nothing. fücking believe it should be on a fücking need-to-know basis; If you fücking tell that special one something on a fücking need-to-know basis, you only tell that special person the facts they fücking need to know at the fücking time they need to know them, & nothing fücking more.  |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 3:02pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
kristina1:and hw about he got to knw through some means. Dt wouldn't be nice. I go with 100% transparency tho. So she can knw the person she's down with and see if she really loves me. Love is choosing to stay with someone irrespective of whatever he/she has done in d past Buh u gat work on ur maturity tho. Sometimes, people lie to us nt because dey want to or because dey've got some hidden agenda. They do cos they are afraid u wouldn't be able to handle the truth. |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 3:11pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
AgapeCharis:It all comes down to maturity tho' Some guys wl see the past in you,leadin to lack of trust,they are not matured enuff to handle the past. 1 Like |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 3:17pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
Though I believe that what is past is past but that's all the same reason I'll prefer 100% transparency , if he can't accept me and whatsoever has happened in the last then so be it . Anything that you won't be able to tell your spouse is definitely something that could rise up tomorrow. 1 Like |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by braindamage(m): 3:22pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
kristina1:...hmmmmmmmm |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Evina(f): 4:50pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
kristina1:  |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Evina(f): 4:52pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
Elantracey: At the highlighted, of course there is that risk. But, how many people can really handle the dark truths? |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Evina(f): 4:56pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
jmoore: Huh? It was actually the marital relationship I had in mind when I opened this thread. I once heard that a pastor adviced that, if you make a mistake like cheating, genuinely repent and confide in someone you can trust (not your spouse) to relieve yourself of the guilt. According to him, telling your spouse can cause serious issues you both may not be able to handle.  |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Evina(f): 5:02pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
AgapeCharis: Exactly. Truth is, if you want to know it all, be sure you can handle it all. I mean why can't we just be like Christ and adopt the new creation approach? "If any man be in love with me, old things have passed away, behold! All things have become new". 2 Likes |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 5:06pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
Evina: I don't think there's any dark truth you won't be able to handle from someone you love except its a case of something like murder , as long as you're sure the person has changed you should be good to go. |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 5:31pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
Evina:oil dey ur head jare |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by jmoore(m): 6:35pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
Evina: That pastor lacks wisdom. Adultery is a sin against God and one's spouse. Therefore he has to confess to God and his wife. 1 Like |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by totalbaby(f): 6:43pm On Dec 25, 2014 |
It's better for your partner to know the real (100%) you and accepting you for who you really are because eventually the truth will come out or old habits and then what? It's better to be with someone who accepts you for who you are good and bad then to pretend and lie about what you are not. My 2 cents anyways |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 7:57am On Dec 26, 2014 |
totalbaby:u just earned a kiss with this post  |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Oahray: 10:13am On Dec 26, 2014 |
There's the desirable, and there's the advisable. 100% transparency may be desirable, but it's advisable to check the strength of a container before loading it with valuable stuff. They have to earn the privilege. Some persons cannot handle the truth, even if they ask for it. For me, I start sharing stuff gradually. The moment she shows signs of being unable to handle it, I'd start telling her less and less, till she realises I barely tell her anything anymore. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 10:31am On Dec 26, 2014 |
Anything in your past that is not relevant to your present relationship should be left in the past. |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 11:14am On Dec 26, 2014 |
it all goes down to maturity. if your partner ain't matured enof to swallow the bitter pill of your past or present mistake or habit, then 100% transparency is a no no. |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Evina(f): 10:05am On Dec 27, 2014 |
andromida: Relevance. What if it is relevant but... E.g, termination of unwanted pregnancies. Compliments of the season doll |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 10:10am On Dec 27, 2014 |
kristina1:lol...u sure musta done some real bad shidt... well I feel if he can't find out how bad u got then there's no need telling him. if he can the. tell him cos it's a bigger blow if he's surprised with it from a third party. |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 10:14am On Dec 27, 2014 |
Evina: Hey compliments. Except a damage happened to the womb during termination of unwanted pregnancies, I don't see its relevance. I've always been curious about this particular one a guy dating a gal and what they are bothered about is if she has done abortions feels weird to me. |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Evina(f): 10:17am On Dec 27, 2014 |
andromida:  Same reason, they wanna know how many men have marked attendance before them. |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 10:29am On Dec 27, 2014 |
Evina: Choi! Women should def avoid these kind of men I mean what exactly is the point so a gal tells a man who claims to like her that she has had 5 bfs then based on this he decides if she is good enough or not. It's on NL I read this kind of stuff still find it hard to believe it happens. What kind of Spanish inquisition rships are those. Choi! |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Evina(f): 10:35am On Dec 27, 2014 |
andromida: Hahahahahahaha. Na real Spanish Inquisition. |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Nobody: 10:57am On Dec 27, 2014 |
I'm all for being transparent in a relationship One thing I've come to realize is, your past will always catch up with you, no matter how hard you try to make it go away So, it's better to air that dirty laundry now that you can 2 Likes |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by justicejay(m): 9:37am On Mar 25, 2015 |
Mtchew....I was 100% transparent to my ex, then she started taking me for granted.  |
| Re: How Much Is Too Much? by Mikwus(f): 2:08pm On Apr 29, 2015 |
AgapeCharis: You're so right. Sometimes even keeping quiet about somethings can be misunderstood as lying about it, when all you needed was time to know if the person can handle the truth and it happens especially when you are so scared it could mar the relationship. So sad though I go with 100% transparency but not all at once, depending on whatever it is, it could throw your partner off balance..............so, one at a time, as you get to know each-other step by step 1 Like 1 Share |
Romance Section Is The Best On Nairaland. Abi Am I lying ni / Why I Love Nigerian Girls / He Doesn't Want Me To Bathe After...
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 52 |