When You Are Annoyed - Family - Nairaland
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| When You Are Annoyed by sistawoman: 10:03pm On Dec 10, 2008 |
When you are annoyed with something your spouse has done and he/she has said pele how do you let that go and move from annoyance to happiness? |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by Nobody: 10:05pm On Dec 10, 2008 |
Maybe if you make less sexual noise here and ask your hubby maybe you'll know.  |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by SeanT21(f): 10:38pm On Dec 10, 2008 |
sistawoman: Tell him the problem!! |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by shapey(f): 10:39pm On Dec 10, 2008 |
davidylan:   Davidylan pls dont make me laugh off my head this night |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by HRhotness(f): 10:41pm On Dec 10, 2008 |
davidylan:  @ topic I'd like to knw as well, nuthin gets me in d mood to crack skulls than a very willing "sorry" and nothing really backing it up |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by Hauwa1: 11:28pm On Dec 10, 2008 |
shebi they like they sexual noise too  you'd hear them say the women here can do it better. are you bored now from hearing the noises? na todayabeg keep on annoying my sister. seize to give him the bangs and food. give it to them like a real naija lady would do |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by Bukie(f): 4:51am On Dec 11, 2008 |
I think it's better u talk it over with him. Appreciate his apology but let him know you are still annoyed. Ask for time to get over your anger and like they say, time heals all wounds. I used to b a saint wit my ex. Even wen annoyed, I'll beg him and pretend all was well. I didn't want to be a nag. Dat was a BIG mistake. From hindsight, I realise I should have expressed my feelings. Maybe just maybe, |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by Exstar(f): 10:06am On Dec 11, 2008 |
*Hauwa*: @ Post, I'll just forgive him/her and accept his apologies. And i'll make sure we trash out issues amicably to avoid future occurrences. |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by sistawoman: 1:14pm On Dec 11, 2008 |
Thanks for the replies. We have talked it out and i am sure this behavior wont be repeated but letting going of that annoyance has always been a problem for me. For me it seems fake to go from annoyed to happy just by hearing him say sorry. It seems that there should be some squirming done on his part for even having done something to annoy me. And I know that is a personal issue, something i have to resolve myself, but do other women go thru this with their spouses? This morning is better and the annoyance is gone, but for me to let that go yesterday was very hard and I could not do it until late last night when he came home from work. Is the matrimonial bed where everything in a marriage gets sorted out? I would really love to hear from some of the married couples here. |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by Exstar(f): 1:29pm On Dec 11, 2008 |
*Still searching*  |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by iice(f): 4:19pm On Dec 11, 2008 |
Bukie: Exacto! Sorry means not much to me especially if one keeps repeating it. It's just a word. Actions must match words. But i do think it's important to not let things pile up (one day, someone will be like, 'like that time this that happened', 'like that time you did this' - trust me, it's bluidy irritating), to trash things out. Sometimes, it takes a good talk to get through. Some people don't realize what they did or did not do until a loved one points it out. |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by KarmaMod(f): 4:31pm On Dec 11, 2008 |
lol david, to ba ya wa ni pe emi ni ika. It's just a word. Actions must match words. There you go. anyone can say "sorry", but the thing is do they understand why they're saying sorry, whether they agree with your grievances, etc |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by olanajim(m): 6:51pm On Dec 11, 2008 |
@topic, When you are annoyed, do NOTHING! Let it go. Let your temper cool. When you are calmed, then you can have word with your spouse. Expressing annoyance while temper is on the rise should not be encouraged. If the other person is also annoyed, it will take wisdom to avoid conflict. At any rate, it depend on the individuals and the object of annoyance. |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by kokoye(m): 7:18pm On Dec 11, 2008 |
KarmaMod: Karma, ika ni e. I can remember that ur mean line and i'm cracking up here. no one like you ojare. @ post. If your spouse apologises and you know he truly means it, then let it go. It shouldnt be too hard for you because you got kids that'll make you forget whatever issues ur dealing with. Personally, it hurts me when I hold a grudge with my wife . . . .because she's become a part of me and it feels like i'm hurting myself. I guess that's why they're called 'the other half'. don't hold a grudge when the other party is truly sorry. Goodluck. |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by sistawoman: 7:43pm On Dec 11, 2008 |
olanajim: you sound just like hubby. He says when I am annoyed I talk rubbish. And after this last bit of annoyance he made me promise to wait until my temper is cool before addressing him. I never sit on my annoyance, when I am annoyed everyone around me knows it and it just cant be avoided until it is settled. I was hoping that I was not the only female with this problem but it appears I am alone in how i feel about being annoyed. Thanks everyone. |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by olanajim(m): 8:59pm On Dec 11, 2008 |
Sistawoman, your hubby was right. He gave you the very clue that can help solve the problem. You have to learn to control your temper. You said when you are annoyed everyone around you must know. That is a weakness. You can't have it like that always. Those witnessing the drama will silently resently you in their hearts and that is a bad reputation. "The strong, calm man is always loved and revered. He is like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those who possess these blessings, for they are always serene and calm. "how many people we know, who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character and make bad blood! "yes, humanity surges with uncontrolled passion, is tumultuous with ungoverned grief, is blown about by anxiety and doubt. Only the wis man, only he whose thought are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him." James Allen. |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by Angolobabe(f): 9:12pm On Dec 11, 2008 |
For me is being on my own for awhile to cool my temper after then I'm back to normal then i can apologise if i have to and discuss whatever that was bothering me and try to get it sorted cos when im angry i wont say anything good and it will result to more arguement , |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by iice(f): 3:50pm On Dec 12, 2008 |
If its something serious, i have to strike while the iron is hot. If i cool down, i'l let it slide and eventually i'l get fed up. Ola, i think sistawoman means, when she's annoyed it's obvious. Everyone around her will know she's pissed. Or at least i hope that is what she means. Some people appear calm and non-frazzled on the outside, but can be seething with rage and venom on the inside. |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by olanajim(m): 6:39pm On Dec 12, 2008 |
Yeah, I hope that is what she meant. I posted in general sense knowing that someone is reading while he boils within! But, iice, how can your anger be as hot as red iron when you are always sub-zero temp? Anyway, I doubt you get angry that much. It is not in your character. |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by iice(f): 7:02pm On Dec 12, 2008 |
rofl. I do get angry but yeah it's rare. Irritated is usually my thing and being around my family takes that away. I guess most things don't frazzle me  The iron thing, is just a phrase my mother likes to use - deal with what is wrong at the moment it's in manifestation. The trick is knowing the exact moment to strike. Too early and it comes out as rubbish and at worst, hurts more than just you. Too late and it may not have the impact it should have and at worst, is gone unheard and unheeded. The important thing is to be able to talk it out and get to a resolution/understanding |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by olanajim(m): 7:17pm On Dec 12, 2008 |
I quite agree with that line of thought. You know when you don't tell people you are angry, the other fellow will just assume that you are loving it and will continues to hurt you! Anyway, I want to see how angry you can be, So when next you are angry, please use webcam so I can see your angry face! |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by sistawoman: 7:22pm On Dec 12, 2008 |
yea that is what I ment. It is impossible for me to pretend all is well when I am annoyed, unless of course we are talking about at the job. But hubby knows when I am upset and I tend to cut with my words when i get really annoyed, which in our relationship is a good thing. Because the English language is not his first language he sometimes does not get the meaning of the large words i use when I am annoyed (my vocabulary changes the more annoyed I get). My mouth used to get me into all kinds of trouble with my exbf because he had a very extensive vocabulary and knew just what i was saying. I also tend to be passive aggressive when i am annoyed which i think annoys hubby even more. But I have promised to work on it and when annoyed just deal with the issue that is annoying me and not bring other issues to the table that need not be there, it just crowds the table and nothing gets resolved. |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by olanajim(m): 7:40pm On Dec 12, 2008 |
There is no way you two will keep open mind and would not enjoy the moment of anger. You are lucky. |
| Re: When You Are Annoyed by iice(f): 11:31am On Dec 13, 2008 |
olanajim: Exactly. Rofl. . .i probably won't stay angry long for that to make any impression  Sistawoman, My sis (erhhh bro's gf) is like that. When she's mad, she can't hide it, everyone will know, from her face, her demeanor and the vibrations of her body . She can't fake it and make nice when she's pissed. She's also trying to not let things get to her too much. She used to flare up before with my bro and himself can flare up, but when she pisses him off or he pisses her off - they work it out immediately at least during that same day. They pretty much blend together very well, its almost uncanny It's important that the line of communication is open and works both ways. Give and take. And even in times of anger/sorrow, to remember that you love each other. |
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