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5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by Thomsbuky(m): 8:31pm On Apr 03, 2015
mentorandfriend:
Ladies, these 5 things are in themselves not exhaustive, but they should be foremost in your mind as you consider a man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Watch him for these. I found it interesting because I'm tired of hearing stories of emotional and financial abuse, and wife batering too. It spoils my day; so I thought to share what I found with my nairaland family. The original article was first written by Pastor Dunamis Tunde Okunowo of Kisses and Hugs club. Enjoy reading.
1. Look for the fear of God.
The first thing to look for is the fear of God. This is very important. I say fear of God because the word “born-again” has been misused. Everybody is born again today. People become born again momentarily to get what they want. People give their lives to Jesus in order to get a wife and after they do, they collect their lives back from Jesus! It is no longer safe to assume somebody is God’s choice because you met him or her in church! It goes beyond that. This is why you don’t fall in love with somebody you met two hours ago. You cannot fall in love with somebody you do not know. Love comes with knowledge.
2. Look for focus.
Focus is important. What is the man focusing on in life? What is his vision in life? Who does he want to become? What is the person’s idea of marriage? Is the person serving God presently? What is he doing now? What does he intend to do later? What are his plans?
3. Look for consistency.
Consistency has to with his habits and patterns. Does he have consistent spiritual habits? Who are his friends? How does he spend his free times? In the bar?
4. Look for utterances.
His words are representations of the intents of his heart, …for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. (Matthew 12:34b KJV). His words would reveal his heart. Ask a lot of questions and listen to what he says. This is why courtship is important. Courtship period is not the time to get physical sexually, it is not an alignment of the bodies, it is an alignment of the minds. So before you give your consent, ask questions.What is his concept of serving God? You need to know all of these so that you will not walk down the aisle and then three months after, you want to run up the aisle and out of the marriage. That will not be your portion, but you need to “shine you eye” well! Stop falling in love helplessly, without thinking! Don’t be desperate to the extent that anything that comes goes. When you are desperate, men can sense it, and they may take advantage of that. You don’t have any business in the bed of man that you met few days back! How will you keep your respect and dignity intact like that? What will your relationship with God become? You are not a philanthropist, so stop donating your body and opening your legs generously for whoever wants! Nay!
5. Look for submission.
Is this man submissive? Who can you report him to when there are issues? Does he have a pastor or mentor you can report him to? He is not supposed to be the alpha and the omega that you cannot report. Is he accountable? To who? You know, I have counseled a few married people, and the issues are so serious and it is really very sad, when I ask the wife, “who does your husband respect?” and they go like, “Pastor, he respects nobody, not even his parents!” Now, that is not a good spot to be… Listen to me single ladies; never commit your life to somebody who has no authority figures over his life! When you do that, you have eliminated any external options when it comes to conflict resolution. It means the issue must be solved only by his wisdom and standard and that wisdom can be outright foolishness. That standard can be very warped. So, be wise! Too many ladies have been abused in their matrimonial home, with the husband brazenly beating up the wife and even bringing another woman into the house, and the wife looks on helplessly, because NOBODY can talk to him! It can really be unfortunate! When you are at that point, your only way out is to pray…and ask God to have mercy on the foolish choice that has been made. The mercy of God can turn things around. God bless you.
http://kissesandhuggs.org/devotionals/what-to-look-for-in-a-man-that-you-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-your#sthash.xMorGAzl.u1K8NTtW.gbpl

OP. I got 2 out of five your so call criteria's before marriage, However, does it mean I am not marriageable material? However two are
1 and 2 = (5)

On the followings:-

No 3. consistency: Both men and women can fake habitual when courting. However religious should not be barrier to marriage thanks you very much, what friends got to do with personal life interest of two people in love? what if friend hate the guy? should not marry because friends did not approve or don't like his or her freinds. Two people in love are blind don't care of friend or family influence before you get marry to your suitor.

No 4. Utterance seems vague not really clear...Men/women can fake behaviours, habits, style of life to suits each other during courting, However having pre sexual and contact does not have any effect on marriage if you really love that person

No 5. Submissive ...If i honour god will definitely keep my vows to honour and cherish my women live according to god will don't need any third party (Pastor) meddling to my matrimonial life.... should we have problems we discuss on our bed before we sleep. thought these factor is not necessary.
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by djeoziv(m): 8:34pm On Apr 03, 2015
Many men afraid of accountability.... They r afraid of mentors lest they be tracked....gullible men every where without brains indoctrinated to believe they r more than God that came as man and was still subject to a higher authority.

NB. If u have a prob with submissiveness to a higher authority, then try working against gravity by urself n naked I mean.... grin

1 Like

Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by yollychika(f): 8:38pm On Apr 03, 2015
Yeeeaaahhhhh smiley
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by mentorandfriend(m): 8:51pm On Apr 03, 2015
zicoraads:
Chai! This is serious! Destiny delayed is never destiny denied...if this thread can make FP after being created since December, then your case has not been forgotten. You will surely be remembered grin
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by Deprime007: 9:24pm On Apr 03, 2015
This is nt always the case cos most men can pretend to ve the fear of God in them but in the actual fact they dnt
mentorandfriend:
Ladies, these 5 things are in themselves not exhaustive, but they should be foremost in your mind as you consider a man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Watch him for these. I found it interesting because I'm tired of hearing stories of emotional and financial abuse, and wife batering too. It spoils my day; so I thought to share what I found with my nairaland family. The original article was first written by Pastor Dunamis Tunde Okunowo of Kisses and Hugs club. Enjoy reading.
1. Look for the fear of God.
The first thing to look for is the fear of God. This is very important. I say fear of God because the word “born-again” has been misused. Everybody is born again today. People become born again momentarily to get what they want. People give their lives to Jesus in order to get a wife and after they do, they collect their lives back from Jesus! It is no longer safe to assume somebody is God’s choice because you met him or her in church! It goes beyond that. This is why you don’t fall in love with somebody you met two hours ago. You cannot fall in love with somebody you do not know. Love comes with knowledge.
2. Look for focus.
Focus is important. What is the man focusing on in life? What is his vision in life? Who does he want to become? What is the person’s idea of marriage? Is the person serving God presently? What is he doing now? What does he intend to do later? What are his plans?
3. Look for consistency.
Consistency has to with his habits and patterns. Does he have consistent spiritual habits? Who are his friends? How does he spend his free times? In the bar?
4. Look for utterances.
His words are representations of the intents of his heart, …for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. (Matthew 12:34b KJV). His words would reveal his heart. Ask a lot of questions and listen to what he says. This is why courtship is important. Courtship period is not the time to get physical sexually, it is not an alignment of the bodies, it is an alignment of the minds. So before you give your consent, ask questions.What is his concept of serving God? You need to know all of these so that you will not walk down the aisle and then three months after, you want to run up the aisle and out of the marriage. That will not be your portion, but you need to “shine you eye” well! Stop falling in love helplessly, without thinking! Don’t be desperate to the extent that anything that comes goes. When you are desperate, men can sense it, and they may take advantage of that. You don’t have any business in the bed of man that you met few days back! How will you keep your respect and dignity intact like that? What will your relationship with God become? You are not a philanthropist, so stop donating your body and opening your legs generously for whoever wants! Nay!
5. Look for submission.
Is this man submissive? Who can you report him to when there are issues? Does he have a pastor or mentor you can report him to? He is not supposed to be the alpha and the omega that you cannot report. Is he accountable? To who? You know, I have counseled a few married people, and the issues are so serious and it is really very sad, when I ask the wife, “who does your husband respect?” and they go like, “Pastor, he respects nobody, not even his parents!” Now, that is not a good spot to be… Listen to me single ladies; never commit your life to somebody who has no authority figures over his life! When you do that, you have eliminated any external options when it comes to conflict resolution. It means the issue must be solved only by his wisdom and standard and that wisdom can be outright foolishness. That standard can be very warped. So, be wise! Too many ladies have been abused in their matrimonial home, with the husband brazenly beating up the wife and even bringing another woman into the house, and the wife looks on helplessly, because NOBODY can talk to him! It can really be unfortunate! When you are at that point, your only way out is to pray…and ask God to have mercy on the foolish choice that has been made. The mercy of God can turn things around. God bless you.
http://kissesandhuggs.org/devotionals/what-to-look-for-in-a-man-that-you-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-your#sthash.xMorGAzl.u1K8NTtW.gbpl
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by ximarro(m): 9:50pm On Apr 03, 2015
wierdpsycho:

I AM FŪCKING ATHEIST

LIKE KUSH, I AINT GOT NO FOCUS; I FLOW WITH DA WIND

I FÜCK DIFFERENT PŪSSIES; FŪCK CONSISTENCY

I SPEAK 3 LINGOS; ENGLISH PROFANITY AND SHÏT

I AINT A MANGINA; I AM A FŪCKING ALPHA MALE; AS A BOSS, I AINT GOT NO FŪCKING BOSS
Shey u see.
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by tellmesome(f): 10:00pm On Apr 03, 2015
Uncontrolling man
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by MintxP(m): 10:06pm On Apr 03, 2015
Rightly said ! Well done

Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by tpiadotcom: 10:14pm On Apr 03, 2015
somebody has to marry men who do not have the attributes listed by the poster though.

I'd say just do not deceive yourself about a man's character, try to be aware of what/who he is and not what you want him to be.
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by tpiadotcom: 10:15pm On Apr 03, 2015
5. Look for submission. Is this man submissive?


Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by tpiadotcom: 10:17pm On Apr 03, 2015
joseph1832:
Just because a man or woman goes to church doesn't mean they have the fear of God!.

true

1 Like

Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by tpiadotcom: 10:19pm On Apr 03, 2015
Raalsalghul:
Another formulaic thread!


cheesy
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by tpiadotcom: 10:21pm On Apr 03, 2015
drlaykay:
I have seen this kind of topic appear more than a thousand times on front page.but my problem is why it doesnt add up with the previous episodes.
Some OP will post 5 others 6,7(things ladies must look out for....)and the list goes on. If I should sum up different write-ups from other posters knowing well that there are only few intersections,I will conclude that there are over a million things ladies should look out for in a man...

true
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by PAGAN9JA(m): 10:44pm On Apr 03, 2015
[size=28pt]THIS ROBISH POST ONLY FOR JEW-WORSHIPPER/XTIAN LADIES[/size]
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by pashaun(f): 10:45pm On Apr 03, 2015
What kind of crap is this? Look for a man that's going to be a leader and has morals
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by Nobody: 10:57pm On Apr 03, 2015
wierdpsycho:

I AM FŪCKING ATHEIST

LIKE KUSH, I AINT GOT NO FOCUS; I FLOW WITH DA WIND

I FÜCK DIFFERENT PŪSSIES; FŪCK CONSISTENCY

I SPEAK 3 LINGOS; ENGLISH PROFANITY AND SHÏT

I AINT A MANGINA; I AM A FŪCKING ALPHA MALE; AS A BOSS, I AINT GOT NO FŪCKING BOSS

Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by An2elect2(f): 11:06pm On Apr 03, 2015
wierdpsycho:

I AM FŪCKING ATHEIST

LIKE KUSH, I AINT GOT NO FOCUS; I FLOW WITH DA WIND

I FÜCK DIFFERENT PŪSSIES; FŪCK CONSISTENCY

I SPEAK 3 LINGOS; ENGLISH PROFANITY AND SHÏT

I AINT A MANGINA; I AM A FŪCKING ALPHA MALE; AS A BOSS, I AINT GOT NO FŪCKING BOSS

let me tell you something









you are a fool.




Take that to the bank.
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by An2elect2(f): 11:14pm On Apr 03, 2015
SAMBARRY:
My role model also said


oprah your role model? i piri u.
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by subbieD(f): 12:34am On Apr 04, 2015
Issokay
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by Teejay1313(m): 2:47am On Apr 04, 2015
Hmmmmm...
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by deevatee(f): 3:56am On Apr 04, 2015
I see dis weirldpyshco is anoda version of searching4love..hmmmm

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by Nobody: 6:18am On Apr 04, 2015
mentorandfriend:
Ladies, these 5 things are in themselves not exhaustive, but they should be foremost in your mind as you consider a man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Watch him for these. I found it interesting because I'm tired of hearing stories of emotional and financial abuse, and wife batering too. It spoils my day; so I thought to share what I found with my nairaland family. The original article was first written by Pastor Dunamis Tunde Okunowo of Kisses and Hugs club. Enjoy reading.
1. Look for the fear of God.
The first thing to look for is the fear of God. This is very important. I say fear of God because the word “born-again” has been misused. Everybody is born again today. People become born again momentarily to get what they want. People give their lives to Jesus in order to get a wife and after they do, they collect their lives back from Jesus! It is no longer safe to assume somebody is God’s choice because you met him or her in church! It goes beyond that. This is why you don’t fall in love with somebody you met two hours ago. You cannot fall in love with somebody you do not know. Love comes with knowledge.
2. Look for focus.
Focus is important. What is the man focusing on in life? What is his vision in life? Who does he want to become? What is the person’s idea of marriage? Is the person serving God presently? What is he doing now? What does he intend to do later? What are his plans?
3. Look for consistency.
Consistency has to with his habits and patterns. Does he have consistent spiritual habits? Who are his friends? How does he spend his free times? In the bar?
4. Look for utterances.
His words are representations of the intents of his heart, …for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. (Matthew 12:34b KJV). His words would reveal his heart. Ask a lot of questions and listen to what he says. This is why courtship is important. Courtship period is not the time to get physical sexually, it is not an alignment of the bodies, it is an alignment of the minds. So before you give your consent, ask questions.What is his concept of serving God? You need to know all of these so that you will not walk down the aisle and then three months after, you want to run up the aisle and out of the marriage. That will not be your portion, but you need to “shine you eye” well! Stop falling in love helplessly, without thinking! Don’t be desperate to the extent that anything that comes goes. When you are desperate, men can sense it, and they may take advantage of that. You don’t have any business in the bed of man that you met few days back! How will you keep your respect and dignity intact like that? What will your relationship with God become? You are not a philanthropist, so stop donating your body and opening your legs generously for whoever wants! Nay!
5. Look for submission.
Is this man submissive? Who can you report him to when there are issues? Does he have a pastor or mentor you can report him to? He is not supposed to be the alpha and the omega that you cannot report. Is he accountable? To who? You know, I have counseled a few married people, and the issues are so serious and it is really very sad, when I ask the wife, “who does your husband respect?” and they go like, “Pastor, he respects nobody, not even his parents!” Now, that is not a good spot to be… Listen to me single ladies; never commit your life to somebody who has no authority figures over his life! When you do that, you have eliminated any external options when it comes to conflict resolution. It means the issue must be solved only by his wisdom and standard and that wisdom can be outright foolishness. That standard can be very warped. So, be wise! Too many ladies have been abused in their matrimonial home, with the husband brazenly beating up the wife and even bringing another woman into the house, and the wife looks on helplessly, because NOBODY can talk to him! It can really be unfortunate! When you are at that point, your only way out is to pray…and ask God to have mercy on the foolish choice that has been made. The mercy of God can turn things around. God bless you.
http://kissesandhuggs.org/devotionals/what-to-look-for-in-a-man-that-you-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-your#sthash.xMorGAzl.u1K8NTtW.gbpl
Good job guys....patiently awaiting d female version pls....lol grin

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by ejiboy1(m): 8:25am On Apr 04, 2015
@mentorandfriend , I entered the site and after reading some articles, I saw the gift of marriage counseling God has given to the owner. I just pray some1 like that will still be around when I'm ready to marry.

1 Like

Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by olamidarsenal(m): 8:32am On Apr 04, 2015
thank God I possessed all these. praise the Lord!!!!!
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by poik(m): 9:52am On Apr 04, 2015
mentorandfriend:
Thank you for your honest contribution, but I still think that a man who listens to nobody is a high risk for any lady.


As much as I see the lady's point of view, having an authority figure also has its downsides too! Most of these boss figures expect you to act on their whims and caprices, mistaking advice for order. I should be the final authority in my home, and not the opinion of some father figure who has his own life to live. That said, most ladies also exploit the father-figure window to water down the man's ideals for his family. By the way, why will a woman I call my wife report me to someone? What happened to discussion and communication?
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by turl(m): 10:41am On Apr 04, 2015
As an atheist, I know first hand that religion is part of the reason most of these girls remain un married till well past their prime and when they notice they don't get the christian prince charming pastor said he saw in the dream, they settle for one low life underachiever they see every sunday during service who ends up being their worst nightmare.

Of course, that's not to say this is the case in every scenario but I've seen this happen more than twice as well as in my own life. In my case, I've met two girls I've wanted to be serious with, one from NL here actually. Every single box was ticked, she came across as level headed, she admired my ambition (your boy was dead broke then but man I had dreams - things have changed now), but when it came to religion, she was a thoroughbred.

This idea that people can't live decent lives based on morally structured principles without belief in a spiritual being is a huge problem when it comes to choosing life parts because OP here is suggested just that. She knew I wasn't irresponsible but the whole 'yoked with an unbeliever' thing kept cropping up.. it was a sad end to what might have been a solid union.

She's still husband hunting and I hope she finds someone decent but knowing me and what I had in mind for us, i know she missed out there because of something so pointless.

Moral of the story:
I wouldn't advise my sister to push someone away because they are not born again. There are tons of much more important qualities to look out for before choosing someone based on what was written ages ago.

1 Like

Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by SAMBARRY: 10:54am On Apr 04, 2015
An2elect2:


oprah your role model? i piri u.
pity yourself first. As if you can even pity her bank account grin





see jealousy first grade o grin

Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by SAMBARRY: 10:55am On Apr 04, 2015
If e pain you say Oprah be my role model


GO AND QUENCH

Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by jevic(m): 3:04pm On Apr 04, 2015
Another one..... Like right now.


On point op.
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by SenatorJames(m): 5:24pm On Apr 04, 2015
Good message for who cares to learn
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by debh(m): 7:20pm On Apr 04, 2015
U ask a lady, wat type of man do u want? First quality will be God fearing man. But give her a bad guy and a God fearing guy and tell her to choose one. I bet u she gonna go for d bad guy.
Re: 5 Things Ladies Must Look Out For In A Man Before Marrying Him by Vikkiboi(m): 7:32pm On Apr 04, 2015
satelliteDISH:
Ladies, also check if ur man has a free-to-air satellite in his house. if u don't find any, persuade him to get one. then call me to help install it for him.


ok this got me rolling for hours...LMAO










ok am joking...not up to hours abeg

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