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Why So Afraid? - Romance - Nairaland

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Why So Afraid? by MizMyColi(f): 12:08am On Dec 27, 2014
Our hearts, our lives --- our world.

Whatever constitutes the above mentioned, we are very protective of them.

We will do whatever it takes to keep them intact.

We will employ Love and Fear in all it's forms to keep things from falling apart.

So, what if we need things to fall apart for a bit in our lives --- what if "falling apart" is a good thing, a path to the ultimate stabilization everyone desires.

We are dependent beings, we are emotional beings --- we are social beings.

All the philosophy, intelligence, "geniusness" and worth (fuls) nots, a human could possibly possess cannot change those.

It's innate in everyone, people just have different avenues of showcasing theirs.

As 2014 draws to a close, and we herald 2015 --- like most of us, I've taken time to reflect on the year, highs, lows, "highlows" and "lowhighs".

One thing I've being able to do for myself this year is Love. Yes, Love --- the environment, people, things, animals, inter alia. God! I Love(d). I became literally transformed this year.

However, like most of us, a part of me --- the romantic side, especially during the closing quarter of the year has somehow given up on love. I found that I was just satisfied with having friends, people who cared and I could care for. It took a sermon from my very good friend to realize that I ought to consider giving Love a chance.

That kinda jolted me back to reality.

As a certified true African, even though people have bastardised the issue, coming up with very unfair and demeaning theories, I still believe a woman's place is in her husband's home, however, while she waits for the universe to align things for her in that regard, the best she can do is keep learning and living.

Except you don't have exigent guardians, except you are the best loner there is, no matter how much you try to avoid discussions of romantic attachments and marriage possibilty, it'll find ways to rear it's ugly head (maybe) like a hydra and hunt you.

Somehow, unconsciously, we have convinced ourselves that it's okay not to live life fully in that regard. We would do anything to maintain control of our senses. Even when we find that one person who makes us wanna loose a bit of our comportment and "dignity" --- we bail on them, we bail on ourselves. We consider Love hard work. I mean!!! Who wants to go through the mind games, reverse psychologies and having to lose oneself all in the name of loving a person. We shy away from the reality before us by convincing ourselves that we're just being careful not to undergo hurts again, and maybe again.


Case In Point --- This is fictional btw.

I find that I like someone, I've come to the conclusion he is cool. He likes me too! Maybe a lot more than I do.
Well, guess what?

We're so careful, we don't wanna fall for the "wrong person", no, not again.
We employ mind games, albeit subconsciously, we engage each other in a "the more you look, the less you see" kinda game.

We think up all possible and impossible reasons in the universe why we may not be right for each other, even when our heart clearly thinks we are. We think of the scores of guys and ladies we might be liking at the same time like we do eachother. We practically kill a love so innocent and budding with our bare hands, because we can't stand going through the pains --- again. We have somehow developed a tradition of getting out, even before going in. (Sigh).


As I sit on this platform, I've come up with autogenous questions, ones which I'd like for us to ask one - another:-

Why So Afraid To Love?

How Long Do We Intend To Remain This Way?

What Miracle Of Sorts Are We Expecting To Witness Before Giving Love, True Love A Chance To Blossom?

Why Are We Allowing Our Hurts Turn Us Into Eternal Emotional Cowards.

How We Have In One Accord Turned One Of Life's Most Simplest Vocations To The Hardest, If Not Impossible.

Why Have We Become So Wrapped Up In Self.

Where exactly Do We Draw The Line From Being Careful To Sheer Self Absorbedness?

In a popular pidgin English parlance --- "Shey na like this we go dey dey?"



As the year comes to a close, as we look forward to a new one, in addition to our hopes and dreams for the new year --- permit me to permit myself and everyone that this writ concerns to Actually Look Forward To Love Too. Love in ALL Ramifications.

Now that's not so hard, or is it?

^^^ This is my latest blogpost on www.mizmycolimusings..com

Waow! The blog's a huge leap of faith for me.
I'd appreciate your coming around and support.
Thanks in anticipation
smiley

68 Likes 37 Shares

Re: Why So Afraid? by laplace12(m): 12:21am On Dec 27, 2014
smiley
Re: Why So Afraid? by MizMyColi(f): 12:25am On Dec 27, 2014

1 Like

Re: Why So Afraid? by dunkem21(m): 12:26am On Dec 27, 2014
MizMyColi:


^^^ This is my latest blogpost on www.mizmycolimusings..com

Waow! The blog's a huge leap of faith for me.
I'd appreciate your coming around and support.
Thanks in anticipation
smiley

You talked to me.

I have troubles fighting the tears welling up in my eyes.

Goodnight, Mizmycoli.

2 Likes

Re: Why So Afraid? by Nobody: 12:27am On Dec 27, 2014
This is so beautiful smiley


New blog alert! permit me to stalk! cheesy

2 Likes

Re: Why So Afraid? by LogoDWhiz(m): 12:27am On Dec 27, 2014
Seeing my post on d blog?
Aint displaying.

Love to copy it and post it here
Re: Why So Afraid? by laplace12(m): 12:29am On Dec 27, 2014
MizMyColi:
grin grin
grin

I am with You. It is a great thread. Just booking my space before they wake up.
Re: Why So Afraid? by mentorandfriend(m): 12:33am On Dec 27, 2014
It was worth the read.

1 Like

Re: Why So Afraid? by MizMyColi(f): 12:35am On Dec 27, 2014
dunkem21:


You talked to me.

I have troubles fighting the tears welling up in my eyes.

Goodnight, Mizmycoli.

laplace12:

grin
I am with You. It is a great thread. Just booking my space before they wake up.

I should prolly request for FP.
Spread the word y'know.

Mature folks in Politics and Family sections might like.

Tags:Obinoscopy
Therealmrstan
Lalasticlala
Re: Why So Afraid? by MizMyColi(f): 12:36am On Dec 27, 2014
LogoDWhiz:
Seeing my post on d blog?
Aint displaying.

Love to copy it and post it here

It's published now.
Re: Why So Afraid? by MizMyColi(f): 12:37am On Dec 27, 2014
mayapop:
This is so beautiful smiley


New blog alert! permit me to stalk! cheesy

Mayapop!
Thanks smiley
Re: Why So Afraid? by LogoDWhiz(m): 12:40am On Dec 27, 2014
MizMyColi:


It's published now.

Okay!
Re: Why So Afraid? by Cwaya(m): 12:48am On Dec 27, 2014

Nice one Toolz

"Hey You, Yeah You .

Give love a/another chance.."






[size=4pt]Not Me anyway , i'm done with that ! [/size]

1 Like

Re: Why So Afraid? by MizMyColi(f): 12:55am On Dec 27, 2014
Cwaya:

Nice one Toolz

Hey You, Yeah You .

Give love a/another chance..



Not Me anyway , i'm done with that !

Lolz
No you're not.

A part of you'll always yearn for it.
At best, what you can do is stifle it --- and keep stifling.
Re: Why So Afraid? by datyrone(m): 12:57am On Dec 27, 2014
people are afraid to love for so many reasons.sometimes its because they have some traits of control freaks.control freaks dnt want to 'let go' for reasons best known to them.too much caution becomes a problem
life is a constant flux of ups and down,a learning pattern.in matters of love,we dnt want to get hurt but there are no gaurantees.we rise,we fall,we make mistakes,we grow,we impact...at the end of the day we just play our part and hope for the best.our ability to love and be loved is a great indicator for psychological growth.
i would implore you not to let life pass you by because of the fear of pain and uncertainty or whatever it is,dnt be a spectator...dare to dream

12 Likes

Re: Why So Afraid? by prettyjo(f): 12:58am On Dec 27, 2014
.
Re: Why So Afraid? by MizMyColi(f): 1:00am On Dec 27, 2014
datyrone:
people are afraid to love for so many reasons.sometimes its because they have some traits of control freaks.control freaks dnt want to 'let go' for reasons best known to them.too much caution becomes a problem
life is a constant flux of ups and down,a learning pattern.in matters of love,we dnt want to get hurt but there are no gaurantees.we rise,we fall,we make mistakes,we grow,we impact...at the end of the day we just play our part and hope for the best.our ability to love and be loved is a great indicator for psychological growth.
i would implore you not to let life pass you by because of the fear of pain and uncertainty or whatever it is,dnt be a spectator...dare to dream

shockedOne billion likes!

3 Likes

Re: Why So Afraid? by Cwaya(m): 1:01am On Dec 27, 2014
MizMyColi:


Lolz
No you're not.

A part of you'll always yearn for it.
At best, what you can do is stifle it --- and keep stifling.


Not sure about that part of me...

but I know when i'm truely done with an issue.

This particular case, DONE !
At least for the mean time ,
maybe in the next decade , i'll see abt it. smiley cool
Re: Why So Afraid? by MizMyColi(f): 1:03am On Dec 27, 2014
Cwaya:



Not sure about that part of me...

but I know when i'm truely done with an issue.

This particular case, DONE !
At least for the mean time ,
maybe in the next decade , i'll see abt it. smiley cool


Aiit, no P
I haven't walked your journey, I won't judge your story.

Just be mindful what you wish for though.
Re: Why So Afraid? by Cwaya(m): 1:07am On Dec 27, 2014
MizMyColi:


Aiit, no P
I haven't walked your journey, I won't judge your story.

Just be mindful what you wish for though.

Yea I know..

What if it becomes a distraction?

*note: take note of the questions i ask*
Re: Why So Afraid? by MizMyColi(f): 1:12am On Dec 27, 2014
Cwaya:


Yea I know..

What if it becomes a distraction?

*note: take note of the questions i ask*

I guess it's in order to ask for your reasons, as it pertains the assertion you made earlier.
Is there a possibility that we now have such a warped, really warped view of love as a result of our experiences?
Re: Why So Afraid? by Cwaya(m): 1:19am On Dec 27, 2014
MizMyColi:


I guess it's in order to ask for your reasons, as it pertains the assertion you made earlier.
Is there a possibility that we now have such a warped, really warped view of love as a result of our experiences?

Yeah of course, ..

As a result of our experiences and the stories of people surrounding us ..

Re: Why So Afraid? by Nobody: 4:32am On Dec 27, 2014
Hello Gentlemen, we have in our hands a case of pishmal dishmal this morning and its so sadornic and lucrubrious that it leaves us with no choice than to leave the fiction,fantancy and pentrocastrarian world and face the reality of the ideal world we are. @OP This is an article of ultmost commercial value,creative and informative,gigantic in opulesm,incontestible and decisive in fact i had say is worth than priceless, penetrating d impenetrable symphilis of a dead heart, I think you deserve an Award for this.
*MODIFIED*
From the few years have spent on earth i observe and keep check on it what is the reason "why" nd this i find out that People focus on "All i know about Love" leaving out the "all i don't know about love" so they end up disapointed,frustrated,whincalcommonized and hence they are afraid to give it a try again. But Love is the simplest thing u can create,give and accomodate.

2 Likes

Re: Why So Afraid? by tyconcepts(f): 4:35am On Dec 27, 2014
Registered......


Now scrolling up to read the epistle.
Re: Why So Afraid? by InvertedHammer: 4:36am On Dec 27, 2014
/
Maybe...just maybe, love does not exist.

\
Re: Why So Afraid? by kilokeys(m): 4:39am On Dec 27, 2014
to the girls,

if u like a guy and u think he likes u too please dont make him prove himself to death.

everyday he has to prove something, every single moment.

i cant keep on chasing you, yes you. u have to slow down and accept the love i give.


i think the most difficult thing to accept is love.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why So Afraid? by Nobody: 4:49am On Dec 27, 2014
Made so much sense in this post mzmycolli....I have some one who needs to read this post....she doesn't know her biological clock is ticking
Re: Why So Afraid? by Nobody: 4:52am On Dec 27, 2014
InvertedHammer:
/
Maybe...just maybe, love does not exist.

\
And maybe,
just maybe, love not only exists but exists in its truest form!

It takes courage, lots of courage to find out!wink


@op,Humans by default fear the unknown...people are so afraid to love for different reasons,but mostly because love is often UNEQUAL and makes one feel vulnerable"What if he/she hurts me?" "What if he/she leaves me"? "What if he/she dies"?embarassed


How long do we intend to remain this way? Maybe till we realize that "Love doesn't mean we are never gonna get hurt" Till we realize we've got to risk it cause any pain you feel can never be compared to the regret of walking away from Love!!!

9 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why So Afraid? by devigblegble: 4:53am On Dec 27, 2014
Ok
Re: Why So Afraid? by Nobody: 4:57am On Dec 27, 2014
At a given time human love displace fear?
Hmmm....
Re: Why So Afraid? by REB3L(m): 4:59am On Dec 27, 2014
Frankly,love is overrated,you can have love for your family,God,your friends......but to have love for a member of the opposite sex...is just like eating a bowl of pepper soup without having Any thing to help you "step it down"
it may start up as being sweet,you are enjoying it to the fullest,then you become quite uncomfortable
....until finally your body screams for you to back down AND stop it.... same with love.
it may be weird but actually i believe that the law of diminished returns works also in love.

3 Likes

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