I am the last born of my family from the east side of Anambra State. I am loved as well as cared for by my siblings. I graduated newly from University of Port Harcourt ,and presently waiting for service. Now in the village for Xmas, my brothers' wife always raises her voice on me virtually each time she wants to ask me something .
On 29th the morning, I was sent to onitsha to drop my dad. As I got their,my dad used ATM after which I collected 4000 naira from him in order to fuel the car.
Then I called our wife on the phone,telling her to allow her sister to give me 1000 naira from the money she was having so that I might be able to purchase 5000 naira fuel. She then concurred. But as I came back, she rushed to the car so as to check if actually, I bought the exact amount I claimed. When I got down from the car,she started questioning me ( with her voice on the tree). She doubted if I really bought 5K fuel,but immediately, I walked out on her which really got her angry. Now every member of the family is blaming me. To them,i must say sorry to her. But I believe that respect is vice versa. She would have used a gentle voice.

Should I say sorry?

Nairalanders...... Nairalanders......

Regardless of your age, you must not allow anybody intimidate you. Even if you you did not spend the entire money on fuel, N1000 is not too much to overlook for her husband's brother. She's just being silly and petty. What is her husband saying about how she treats you?

Learn humility and respect. She's obviously older than you. Walking out on her doesn't show respect. She may have good reasons to question your antics. If you don't like it, get your own accommodation and leave home. You are an adult.

dominique:
Regardless of your age, you must not allow anybody intimidate you. Even if you you did not spend the entire money on fuel, N1000 is not too much to overlook for her husband's brother. She's just being silly and petty. What is her husband saying about how she treats you?

Well, my brother is not around. I don't just understand the woman. She shouts easily on me irrespective of the people there.

kITATITA:
Learn humility and respect. She's obviously older than you. Walking out on her doesn't show respect. She may have good reasons to question your antics. If you don't like it, get your own accommodation and leave home. You are an adult.

Well,its ok. I understand u. I have in mind of getting my own house in the village as soon as I have a job

Have you explained to your brother of her attitude towards you lately? And did he make any attempt of addressing the issue?
Is your brother insisting that you apologize to her? In what way and manner is he sending the message across to you? Reason this out and you will know weda to limit yourself from them or not.

I.M.O: wives are supposed to be reserved and respectful to her inlaws regardless of age because she is new to d family. You shouldn't have walked out on her sha. So say the "am sorry" word to her and also let her know that you don't like being shout at she shouldn't take that attitude into 2015.

dominique:
Regardless of your age, you must not allow anybody intimidate you. Even if you you did not spend the entire money on fuel, N1000 is not too much to overlook for her husband's brother. She's just being silly and petty. What is her husband saying about how she treats you?

You said my mind

makasimatics:


Well,its ok. I understand u. I have in mind of getting my own house in the village as soon as I have a job

I like your thoughts. But things are not always the way you think. When you get a job, are you going to walk out on your boss if he/she questions your integrity? You are likely going to get insulted in your workplace more than you've been insulted at school and home; and there's nothing you can do about it. While I encourage you to fight for your right, sometimes it is wiser to be correct than to be right.

Just say the five letter word to her, at least for the sake of peace. Maybe she feels her husband, your brother, loves you more than her. Some women sha.

kITATITA:


I like your thoughts. But things are not always the way you think. When you get a job, are you going to walk out on your boss if he/she questions your integrity? You are likely going to get insulted in your workplace more than you've been insulted at school and home; and there's nothing you can do about it. While I encourage you to fight for your right, sometimes it is wiser to be correct than to be right.

Yeah I get u. U are right brother. I like that

MzPreshie:
Just say the five letter word to her, at least for the sake of peace. Maybe she feels her husband, your brother, loves you more than her. Some women sha.

Really sister. It may be so. I don't know. But I should be careful

PapiDShipCapt:
Have you explained to your brother of her attitude towards you lately? And did he make any attempt of addressing the issue?
Is your brother insisting that you apologize to her? In what way and manner is he sending the message across to you? Reason this out and you will know weda to limit yourself from them or not.


I.M.O: wives are supposed to be reserved and respectful to her inlaws regardless of age because she is new to d family. You shouldn't have walked out on her sha. So say the "am sorry" word to her and also let her know that you don't like being shout at she shouldn't take that attitude into 2015.

Have not told him. But will tell him as soon as he homes back.

makasimatics:


Well, my brother is not around. I don't just understand the woman. She shouts easily on me irrespective of the people there.

Maybe she still sees a little kid in you. You have to prove otherwise in your demeanour. It will be better if you can find alternate living arrangement pending the time you go for youth service. I wish all the best.

You did right by walking away, it would have been worse if you stayed and exchanged words which was probably what she wanted.
Old age is not a right to be rude and loud.

Before reporting to your brother, I advice you wait till things are calm and speak with her one on one.
1. Ask why she feels you can only hear her if she shouts or talks in a condescending manner

2. Ask if there is any reason she doesn't think you deserve some regard

Tell her you are willing to respect her and have no issues with her if she also gives you some respect and stops shouting at you when she talks.

aisha2:
You did right by walking away, it would have been worse if you stayed and exchanged words which was probably what she wanted.
Old age is not a right to be rude and loud.

Before reporting to your brother, I advice you wait till things are calm and speak with her one on one.
1. Ask why she feels you can only hear her if she shouts or talks in a condescending manner

2. Ask if there is any reason she doesn't think you deserve some regard

Tell her you are willing to respect her and have no issues with her if she also gives you some respect and stops shouting at you when she talks.

I didn't read all you wrote but I believe you are right.

Op follow this advice .

Chillis:


I didn't read all you wrote but I believe you are right.

Op follow this advice .

Lmao you no serious

You should have just bought the 4k fuel and not call her, some peeps don't know how to avoid trouble. Walking out on her shows that you don't have much regards for her, apologize to the woman and maintain your lane next time.

You don't have any iota of respect in you, u walked out on your brother's wife while she was still talking to you and you still get mouth to talk, I bet you if it was ur gf that the same thing, u won't hv noticed...are you not "big" enough to even afford that 5k not to talk of 1k...

dominique:
Regardless of your age, you must not allow anybody intimidate you. Even if you you did not spend the entire money on fuel, N1000 is not too much to overlook for her husband's brother. She's just being silly and petty. What is her husband saying about how she treats you?

That would make him a liar and a thief. Bad advice. Even N1 should not be taken from someone under false pretense


@OP She was obviously disrespectful but she's simply suffering from what many Nigerians suffer from. The sickness were they believe that as long as the person is older than you then they must be right. Don't quarrel with anyone but use this as motivation to do what it takes to leave their house and be independent. You sound like a respectful person from your post. Don't let anyone drag you down to their level.

You're not wrong for walking out on her, most Nigerians unfortunately fail to realize that respect begets respect. If you had stayed you would probably have said something insultive so sometimes walking away is the best thing. Why would any sane person start shouting at their in law and questioning your integrity over 1,000 k

Say the sorry so peace can be restored but let her know that raising her voice at your and questioning your integrity was disrespectful. If she's a smart person, she'll also apologize but if she dosent just stay away from her

@op gain respect.....

Gbam

soulglo:


That would make him a liar and a thief. Bad advice. Even N1 should not be taken from someone under false pretense


@OP She was obviously disrespectful but she's simply suffering from what many Nigerians suffer from. The sickness were they believe that as long as the person is older than you then they must be right. Don't quarrel with anyone but use this as motivation to do what it takes to leave their house and be independent. You sound like a respectful person from your post. Don't let anyone drag you down to their level.

dominique:
Regardless of your age, you must not allow anybody intimidate you. Even if you you did not spend the entire money on fuel, N1000 is not too much to overlook for her husband's brother. She's just being silly and petty. What is her husband saying about how she treats you?

gbam

Another gbam

adebisicutie:
You're not wrong for walking out on her, most Nigerians unfortunately fail to realize that respect begets respect. If you had stayed you would probably have said something insultive so sometimes walking away is the best thing. Why would any sane person start shouting at their in law and questioning your integrity over 1,000 k

Say the sorry so peace can be restored but let her know that raising her voice at your and questioning your integrity was disrespectful. If she's a smart person, she'll also apologize but if she dosent just stay away from her

adebisicutie:
You're not wrong for walking out on her, most Nigerians unfortunately fail to realize that respect begets respect. If you had stayed you would probably have said something insultive so sometimes walking away is the best thing. Why would any sane person start shouting at their in law and questioning your integrity over 1,000 k

Say the sorry so peace can be restored but let her know that raising her voice at your and questioning your integrity was disrespectful. If she's a smart person, she'll also apologize but if she dosent just stay away from her

The right thing to have said is 'Insulting' not 'Insultive'

dominique:


Maybe she still sees a little kid in you. You have to prove otherwise in your demeanour. It will be better if you can find alternate living arrangement pending the time you go for youth service. I wish all the best.

Thanks. Have made a peaceful decision. Its well

aisha2:
You did right by walking away, it would have been worse if you stayed and exchanged words which was probably what she wanted.
Old age is not a right to be rude and loud.

Before reporting to your brother, I advice you wait till things are calm and speak with her one on one.
1. Ask why she feels you can only hear her if she shouts or talks in a condescending manner

2. Ask if there is any reason she doesn't think you deserve some regard

Tell her you are willing to respect her and have no issues with her if she also gives you some respect and stops shouting at you when she talks.

U have spoken as one with wisdom

Agrika:
You don't have any iota of respect in you, u walked out on your brother's wife while she was still talking to you and you still get mouth to talk, I bet you if it was ur gf that the same thing, u won't hv noticed...are you not "big" enough to even afford that 5k not to talk of 1k...

Right u are. U talked on the basis of all things being the same

soulglo:


That would make him a liar and a thief. Bad advice. Even N1 should not be taken from someone under false pretense


@OP She was obviously disrespectful but she's simply suffering from what many Nigerians suffer from. The sickness were they believe that as long as the person is older than you then they must be right. Don't quarrel with anyone but use this as motivation to do what it takes to leave their house and be independent. You sound like a respectful person from your post. Don't let anyone drag you down to their level.

Thanks

makasimatics:


Right u are. U talked on the basis of all things being the same

No mind my mouth, just apologise to her just to fufil all righteousness, some wives no be am I swear.

Say sorry but calmly tell her that her attitude was the reason you ignored her and walked out because you did not want to be disrespectful by exchanging words with her.