No front page please
Got married 4 years ago, although had my so many flaws which I accept. Because we didn't have fruit of d wombs, close to 2 years in marriage my family intervened, [husband had a child from a previous boyfriend n girlfriend thing, n from my findings later on, the lady sworn he will neva hear d cry of a child], I had to move out, hubby refused to see my family n settled things out because I moved out on my own, fastfoward, I return to school which is out of d country n he stays around there, we got to meet again n we got back together while d family case remain unsettled. In short I had to be moving in n out of husby house close to 3 times of separation. My family will neva support, no child issue, as we both did test and it was discovered he had low count, presently, I packed out of my marital home

My fear is that family might neva agree except I had child for him
Do I leave family? N stay with him? What will be my fate in d future? He had a child he took full responsibility of? I had none?

What will u suggest? Please only critical and experienced mind

Am confused

Solution is simple, work on building his sper-m count with a good hospital and not all those kidney and liver damaging drugs. A doctor will advice you better on steps to take.

As for family interference, is that really the kind of marriage you want? If you can't make a decision on your own on if you want to be with a man you swore to be with then you really shouldn't be married. You self are unsettled, seem unsure of what you want and are an added strain to the man.
The man has low sper-m count probably from a later infection and not as a result of any curse.

I think you should let the man be let him find a mature woman who is willing to build a life with him, encourage him and give him the right advice not one who will add to his worry by moving in and out on family say so and believing he is cursed even when science has explained his situation and provided so many alternatives, leave thst guy before he goes to develop kidney failure from drinking concoctions to please you, we know you won't stay with him if his kidneys fail

I hope this does not sound harsh but I find it hard to sympathize with you if you truly moved out because you found out your husband has low sperm count. Moved out 3 times and your family is so familiar with your husbands testicles they probably know how many strands of hair he has on them. You need to grow up

Kai, I read through your previous post Lord have mercy, hiannnnnnnnnnn you have written this story one thousand times in different formats from year one of your marriage to date, I can imagine the terror and harassment he had to face over his inability to get you pregnant.
I can imagine that everybody knows whats happening with him, you must have disturbed everyone in your real life lamentation after lamentation

Abeg stay away from the man before high blood pressure add to his wahala. In a way I think you are the karma his ex sent his way because you have the ability to send someone to their graves.

A lesson to men who will get other ladies pregnant then leave her to marry who they assume is a virgin and automatically will make a good wife. You will most likely end up with an entitled nag who will throw your past lifestyle in your face, tell everyone your business, be controlled by her family, and instead of working with you with the right information to help you grow and solve your problem she will add heaps of problems to it. Karma is real mehnnnn

ice Pls..... by tetwa(f): 7:59am On Apr 18, 2012
This is a story that pertains to me, marriage they say is for better for worse,
what am i do? Got married at 25 years, later got to know he had a son by a lady
who he refused to marry, i guess she is troublesome, from ijebu, sorry to use the
word, but the lady cursed my husband that he will never hear the cry of a baby in his
life, we've been married for over a year now, i had never been pregnant, although my
period is regular, we decided going to see a fertility specialist who diagnose me of being
fine, but my husband got small testes, he is do his semens anaylisis soon, but i think he knows
the problem is from him as he is a medical practitioner, am really confused, need to have my
own children, at the same time scared of these curse, pls what do you think? serious advice needed
please...



Will You Go For Divorce? by tetwa(f): 9:27am On Apr 04, 2012
A friend of mine got married to a man as a virgin but got to discovered the man had leaved a rough life in the past to the extend of having a son outside marriage, but he is a changed person now, but d difficult part for her is that, the man is infertile, they have been married for 2 years without any issue, the man did some tests but refused to tell his wife the result, but told her the problem is from him, she is really confused now cos she believed once u are married, u are married, and the lady that had a son for him is from ijebu, cast a spell on him, although he should have married the lady but i think that lady is troublesome, so he avoided the lady but he is taking care of his son, but my friend is really afraid now cause she doesn't deserve this, will you advice her to go for divorce?


Need An Advice by tetwa(f): 9:09am On Jan 25, 2012
What can i do, i need your advice, married as a virgin to a man who had a kid although not intentional
but i guess he is still keeping in contact with the lady, one year has passed without a kid between us, am a graduate but not able to work
for now cos am not in the country, am getting confused day by day, do u think i should remain in this marriage or walk out to
get myself settled, really need your advice.
Thanks

e: Advice Pls..... by recruitmnt: 9:12am On Apr 18, 2012
Tetwa, you have told this story over and over again and in different forms too. People have advised you. What do you want to hear? That you should divorce your husband?

You are going to have to make that decision yourself and live with the consequences, no one is going to do that for you!

So think hard and make your decision wisely. All the best!

leave the man alone and fix your life.

Na by force to get pikin?

I'm sure you know about adoption..

Just wondering if he has done a DNA test on the first child to know if he is really the father. If you decide to stay with him, you will need to stop putting so much pressure on him.

blank:
Just wondering if he has done a DNA test on the first child to know if he is really the father. If you decide to stay with him, you will need to stop putting so much pressure on him.

Bingo!

blank:
Just wondering if he has done a DNA test on the first child to know if he is really the father. If you decide to stay with him, you will need to stop putting so much pressure on him.

He could have had the child before the sper-m count dropped. Again you can have a child even with loe sperm count just that the chances will be very low.

Most times untreated STDs lead to damages in reproductive organs

You are a very confused young woman,i can't find words to describe you or your situation.
You keep on dancing around to the tune of your family as well as yours,forgetting the fact that you chose to marry this man and which begs the question-why are you in this marriage?is it for love or procreation?Even if you found out after a year in marriage that he has low sperm count which by the way is very very treatable and a child out of wedlock,your behaviour is totally confusing.

Why on earth are you troubling this man?you had a choice to make 3 years ago-to leave or stay....The reason you keep dancing around and coming back for "advices" is because you feel GUILTY!

It's a new year,and do yourself a favour and please leave this man alone.Let him find back his dignity and self worth-he needs a supportive spouse and not the one that will be in and out of his life.Marriage is not a game,but a commitment....and if you think you can't keep your part of the deal which is totally understandable then quit!What you are doing is so childish and i think the man is a very patient guy.

aisha2:


He could have had the child before the sper-m count dropped. Again you can have a child even with loe sperm count just that the chances will be very low.

Most times untreated STDs lead to damages in reproductive organs

Thanks. Didn't consider it.

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!

Op. You are soooo bitter that your body may not be conducive for conception.
What manner of wickedness is this?
Your husband is being emasculated on a daily basis.

Please do the right thing and leave the poor man alone to find peace with a wife cos you are a KNIFE!

Put it in prayer. There's nuffin God cannot do. Let him also c a gud Dr who can help out

A woman that seeks the fruit of the womb has to be in prayer and humble.

How would you have felt if you husband abandoned him because the problem was from you?
What you did is very wrong. How can the pregnancy even come when you are constantly moving in and out.

The problem is that you have not yet seen this union as a marriage and you are not ready to fight for ti.

Out there is a woman that is offended by what your husband did.
She swore for him.
God does listen to prayers. This woman made this prayer from the depth of her heart.

The first thing you should do is go and meet this woman in all humility and plead with her to forgive your husband.

I had a friend that was very bitter with her ex. Intact she was hell bent on dealing with whichever woman came into his life.Years later the man wanted to get married to a young yoruba girl. The girl in her early twenties and living abroad said she would only say yes if she got the blessing of his ex wife. She went to Nigeria with the man, visited the ex wife/my friend. She knelt down in front of her and pleaded for her permission to marry the man and also for her blessing. She promised to always treat her step children like her own.

My friend was weak. All her anger melted at the sight of this young pretty girl who showed so much wisdom and courage. She gave her blessing.

That young girl really impressed us all!