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Boko Haram's Statement Upon Seizing Control of the Town From Footloose

People of America, citizens of the world of infidels and blasphemers, by the will of Allah and the teachings of the prophet, peace be upon him, we have captured your city of Bomont.

I am Abubakar Shekau and I am the one who canceled dancing, along with everything else, in your town. We have fired rocket grenades into your general stores, we have burned your empty dancing factories, machine gunned your pets, torn your drapes, bayoneted your giclee prints, smashed your TVs and we have annihilated the house of lies you call a high school. Your sons have been machine gunned. Your husbands have been machine gunned. Wives also machine gunned. Some daughters have been sold into sex slavery of the least enjoyable form and the rest have been scheduled for machine gunning.

We have beheaded most of your town leaders and those we have not beheaded we will soon behead or shoot with machine guns when it is convenient to our schedules of shooting and beheading. We will not be rushed in such matters. Because so many of you have tried to escape, we hereby order all of you to go barefoot from this moment forward. You will kick off your Sunday shoes.

You will not cut loose or attempt to go footloose or we will chop off your limbs and set them on a fire. We have already placed Louise on her knees for beheading. Jack was tied to several Toyota trucks mounting heavy machine guns and we pulled him apart with a crack. You could say that he really went footloose, but this would be incorrect because it was his arms and entire legs that detached.

From this point forward the following activities will be accepted in Bomont:

Sex slavery acts of the worst type
Hold a senior prom and die screaming in a fire
Study the parts of the holy Quran that we care about
Have your body machine gunned
Swear your loyalty to Boko Haram and agree to fight and die for jihad
Teach your young children to carry bomb harnesses
Do not attempt to bring girls back

Now, I am at least 2% not a cruel man. I understand that most of you who have not been machine gunned probably think these rules are too strict. That we do not allow you to have fun here in Bomont. This could not be further from the truth. Studying the Quran is extremely pleasurable. Owning numerous child sex slaves is a real perk. So long as you are a man willing to convert to Islam and probably die in a suicide attack, I think you will realize just how much fun you can have in Bomont. Just do not dance nor do the many other things we have forbidden.

From the oldest of times, people danced for a number of reasons. They danced in prayer... or so that their crops would be plentiful... or so their hunt would be good. And they danced to stay physically fit... and show their community spirit. And they danced to celebrate. Which is wrong and against Allah. You may think Mohammad allowed the Christians of Abyssinia to dance modestly within the mosque. He was only waiting to machine gun them later. So do not dare to dance. It is blasphemy.

Everything is blasphemy.

All the best,

Abubakar Shekau
Boko Haram.
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@Op, You think this is funny? You think its funny to lose a loved one? You think BH is a joke right? You will lose a loved one in a Dancing Factory on friday night and pls dont forget to add the gory details to your "oh- so-awesome" joke... Senseless baboon brain infidel

dajoaneke:
@Op, You think this is funny? You think its funny to lose a loved one? You think BH is a joke right? You will lose a loved one in a Dancing Factory on friday night and pls dont forget to add the gory details to your "oh- so-awesome" joke... Senseless baboon brain infidel

Omd.. you loose it totally.you think that piece of article is even real.. ? Well You're not the first to lose a love one...(.senseless baboon brain infidel )..won't exchange words with you..

Mathematical:




Omd.. you loose it totally.you think that piece of article is even real.. ? Well You're not the first to lose a love one...(.senseless baboon brain infidel )..won't exchange words with you..

why did he attack you like that?

some people sef, its not her fault anyone lost his/her loved one na, why insult her, can't you just read and ignore if it doesn't sooth your mood?


some people sef

ifex370:




why did he attack you like that?

some people sef, its not her fault anyone lost his/her loved one na, why insult her, can't you just read and ignore if it doesn't sooth your mood?


some people sef

I tire oh

I havent lost a loved one personally. My heart goes out to hundreds of my fellow country folks who lost loved ones due to insurgency. If you lived in the north or have an idea what the real picture of a terror attack is, you wont find it funny. I apologise for the insult but face it, there are other things to joke about like: politics & akpos... Honestly I shouldve ignored.

Be sensitive to people's plight though.

ifex370:




why did he attack you like that?

some people sef, its not her fault anyone lost his/her loved one na, why insult her, can't you just read and ignore if it doesn't sooth your mood?


some people sef

Point taken*

dajoaneke:
I havent lost a loved one personally. My heart goes out to hundreds of my fellow country folks who lost loved ones due to insurgency. If you lived in the north or have an idea what the real picture of a terror attack is, you wont find it funny. I apologise for the insult but face it, there are other things to joke about like: politics & akpos... Honestly I shouldve ignored.

Be sensitive to people's plight though.

I understand.. and I seek forgiveness..

Mathematical:




I understand.. and I seek forgiveness..

May God forgive us all. I like your writing & imaginative skill. I'm following you right away. Ever thought. about writing a book?


Friends? *Extends hand*