soulglo:


Thank you. I will make a name tag and wear it. Donpeey22's editor in chief

Here's the thing about running a business and I'm pointing this out because I see this all the time on this website. You cannot start a business for somebody and hand it over to them. Chances are it will be over before it starts. I always hear people advising men to open a small business for their wives to keep her busy etc and I just wonder if people even understand what it takes to get a business plan and then actually put that into action and then actually keep it going. If most people understood that then we would not be talking about what she could do for her husband as far as helping him with businesses. Let's assume the OP is 35(based on the 79 on his name), do you think it is a good idea to even encourage him to depend on his family? The best thing he can do for himself and his children is to fix his issues. No one is absolving her of anything and I really believe that the OP needs to be apart from her but I get the feeling that they have had financial issues in the past and she sees the need for them to make their own money rather than depend of family. I think OP thinks he loves his wife but he might just have Stockholm syndrome add to that the fact that he is a man and most men would not admit that they are victims of domestic abuse.

Anyway I hope you know I was joking about the butts. It's still butt and not butts though

my editor in chief. Ur job is to monitor all my posts on Nairaland and make corrections where necessary. Send me ur credentials and bank account number for documentation and payments. . Ur job begins with immediate effect. Congratulations!
I know you were joking nau. Seems you know much about business? Maybe we can relate, you know?

donpeey22:
my editor in chief. Ur job is to monitor all my posts on Nairaland and make corrections where necessary. Send me ur credentials and bank account number for documentation and payments. . Ur job begins with immediate effect. Congratulations!
I know you were joking nau. Seems you know much about business? Maybe we can relate, you know?

I'll send bank info ASAP. I take my job seriously

MrNiceGuy79:
Rosarie, what if I told you that I never wanted to move into that expensive house? I begged her to allow us to stay in my rented house which I was paying 100,000 Naira and receive rent from the new house of almost 400,000? She flatly refused and made us move into a house that honestly wasn't of our class (yet). Let me also add that out of that 10m I gave my mum about 1.5m and my bro about 500,000. I also gave my wife a further 250,000. I also had to pay her father 250,000 that SHE had borrowed from him. I also spent some on our new baby who was born that year etc etc. I didn't waste the money my dear. I haven't told the full story.

Dude what is wrong with you abi o ti je efo ni

andromida:


You've been blaming your wife for everything from beating your son while you have no particular ideas on child raising yourself to "she made us move into" then she does not inspire you when you have no concrete plans on ground. You have abdicated responsibility to her so she is dealing with it how she knows to. You sound lost i hope you find yourself so you can give directions to yourself and your family.

Dazall!!

Grow some balls OP.

pickabeau1:
cococandy

what does lack of ambition mean

This man is a good provider yet he lacks ambition

He is living off the wealth of his parents. He is selling off property he never once worked for and cannot account for the proceeds.
Whether you like it or not 20million naira don enter gbegen.
The wife will never let him see a kobo of the amount he gave her, that is who she is.
He is an "arungun omo", a child who will waste his inheritance. " Akpa".
His wife cannot respect him, and even strangers cannot respect him, he needs a whole load of common sense.
It may not be a bad idea for him to be alone for sometime to reevaluate his life, and not also lose the respect of his children as they grow older.

Divorce her ASAP..you beginning to irritate her.she might even b having an affair..yee yu heard me... a time will come when u wont have the strength and you need her support.

What a man needs is a friend and comforter... sure shes even starving u off sex.

Be a man...act illogical it works.

The truth is u have lost ur self esteem.

MrNiceGuy79:
I am 37 years old. We got married 6 years ago and had two children. I come from a well off family so life wasn't difficult. I have always been able to get money from handouts from my family as well as some rental properties that I inherited. As a wedding gift my parents bought us a house that is now valued at about 180m Naira. To be honest, I haven't really been working very hard to chart my own financial path and I don't really know why. I have no motivation to do business, start any business or even work in the family business. I've started to believe it is because the person who is supposed to be supporting me the most, is always putting me down. Any time that I come up with a new business idea she crushes my dreams, telling me how bad that idea is. My father passed away a few years ago and everytime I tell my wife I have gone to do business with my mum, or I want to buy a piece of land with my mother and brother, she gets upset. Now here comes the abuse: when we argue and she tells me to get out of the house, I refuse and tell her its my house. She quickly replies "No it's your mothers house" "A real man works hard and struggles to make it" I have been called all types of names e.g. 'youre lazy" "you're not a good dad (mind you she's always screaming and beating on my son)" "you're not a real man", "Bleep is more of a man than you", etc. I got tired of all that so I decided to empower her, so a couple of years ago, I sold a piece of land worth 20 million Naira and gave her 10 to start a business. I spent my 10 on debts, paying bills, running the house etc. That 10 million has spawned 3 other businesses on her part while I am still stuck with no business of my own. She has never shared or offered to share any profits of those businesses with me, which is ok by me as I really don't need her money. I am still called all types of names, despite the fact that I pay all the house bills, school fees, electricity, DSTV etc. She pays for nothing. When she shops for items from the supermarket, vegetable market etc, she will give me a detailed bill of what she has spent and I HAVE TO REFUND. Refund? we are all eating the food, I don't ask for help every month, and I have to refund? She constantly reminds me that is what a man is supposed to do, pay all the bills in the house, and that I get my money for free while she has to work hard for it. But my question is, do I need this treatment? am I too nice? Please help.

u gave a woman ur power as a man

Poster your case is not all together bad though your wife and commentators think so.
1. Its not your fault to be born into a well to do family and it will amaze you to find out its one of the reason your wife married you.
2. Your wife have lost respect for you despite your family never suffered any lack but to the fact that you handed power over to her plus the other fact that you also gave her absolute power of having her own money. Then you see the real her.
3. Not working or working in family business is not a crime and does not warrant insults especially from one that never saw lack.

Going forward, poster get back your respect. You have done well by giving her a business and any day she open her mouth to use words on you kindly remind her that you gave capital. That you had options of things to do with money but choose to give her money and she had to be grateful.

I bet your family placed you on a monthly income from family biz. If that's the case, then starting your own biz is a decision you make not forced into and working for the family biz is a basic responsibility so please go over there and help mummy run the stuff. Many great biz are family biz that survived generations.

Assert yourself, its your family and you are the head. Change your mind set because from your story you are not used to asserting yourself. Asserting yourself will will win you back your respect. How do you do that? Show everybody around that you have a mind of your own by deciding what you want to do and when to run it with people don't let them discourage you. See their points and refine your decision, so till you find or decide to do something for yourself go over and help your mummy run that biz and take to the next level. Family biz that gave you guys a status and life can do more if the next generation can step in. While you are at it do not let wife use careless words on you, working family biz is no crime many don't have such.