How to Raise a Well Behaved Toddler

Toddlers are at an age where they know
and understand basic language but are
still unable to communicate effectively.
That often can lead to frustration and
tantrums. In addition, children of this
age (12 months to around 4) are
mobile, curious, and determined to have
their way. Knowing how to raise a well
behaved toddler is a skill for which
most parents strive in order to keep
their child safe and happy, and to
maintain a reasonable degree of calm in
their own lives.

Maintain your self-control in
order to re-establish your
child's.

Hitting or spanking your toddler,
especially combined with an
outburst of anger toward your
child, teaches that hitting is a way
to solve problems.

Try to take advantage of breaks
from your child so that you are able
to relax and get a fresh
perspective. Taking care of a
toddler can be exhausting. Find a
parent group or ask a relative or
friend to fill in occasionally. Even
going for a quick walk or trip to the
store while your partner watches
the child can help.

Ensure your toddler gets
enough sleep.
The average toddler needs
between 10 and 13 hours of sleep
daily. Most benefit from a two-hour
afternoon nap. Overly tired
children will act out and become
difficult to handle.

Establish a bedtime routine and try
not to deviate from it. Children will
find numerous ways to postpone
going to sleep. Stick to your
established routine as much as
possible.

Reward your toddler for any
good behavior he exhibits.
Try to make following the rules fun
for you both. Make a game of it and
praise your toddler excessively
when he does something positive.
Reinforce the idea that good
behavior gets positive
consequences while poor behavior
does not. If he behaves well at the
store, he gets a small toy and lots
of praise. If he misbehaves, he
doesn't. Make positive
consequences for good behavior
more significant than punishment
for bad behavior.

Distract your toddler when he
does something you think is
dangerous or undesirable.
Use music or play to redirect his
behavior. Lead him into another
type of activity.
If this does not work, remove the
toddler from the situation, firmly
telling him "no." Take away objects
that could harm him or get broken.

Remain as consistent as
possible.
Don't change nap times or reward
or ignore poor behavior. You
cannot be perfect, but consistency
is the key to establishing good
behavior in your toddler.

Expect age-appropriate
behavior.
You cannot expect a 2-year-old to
behave like a 10-year-old. Know
what is considered normal
behavior for toddlers. Demanding
that your toddler remains quiet
during a 2-hour concert, for
instance, is unreasonable.

Show affection even when
disciplining your toddler.
Assure him with your words and
actions that you love him even
when he is behaving badly. Never
tell him he is "bad" or use abusive
language. Remain firm and in
control when disciplining him, but
let your toddler know he is safe
and loved at all times.
Anticipate poor behavior and
be ready to deal with it.
When you are off your normal
routine, look for ways to keep your
child from becoming too tired or
anxious. If your child is ill or
hungry, he may act out. Be
prepared and find ways to keep the
situation from getting out of hand.

Coordinate your methods of
handling your toddler with his
other caretakers so there will be
as much consistency in your
toddler's life as possible. Discuss
discipline, nap time and daily routines
with your daycare or babysitter.
You may build your home schedule
around that of the daycare, for
instance, since it is easier for you
to adapt to their routine rather
than expecting them to conform to
yours. If children are given naps
from 1-3 p.m., for example,
attempt to continue this nap time
at home.
Be sure that the childcare workers
who deal with your child share
your methods of discipline and
have similar goals and expectations
for your toddler's behavior.
Communicate frequently with them
so you know what is going on when
you are not there.

Practice good manners at
home.
Children are exceptional imitators.
Be sure the rest of the family
observes polite behavior such as
saying "please" and "thank-you".
Expect your toddler to use those
phrases as well.

Make the act of sharing into a
game. Share items with your
toddler to teach him that sharing is
an important social skill.
While having the occasional
squabble over toys is a natural part
of growing up, try to teach your
child that it's more satisfying to
give and share than to get and
keep everything you see.