Mondisweets:
do you expect your wife to do what makes both of you happy or what only makes her happy?

What makes her happy.

A happy person is a happy spouse.

obowunmi:


What makes her happy.

if another man's bigger kondo makes her happy i hope u wont crucify her for it

Lol.

If husbands are willing to accept that it's not cheating, it's a mini-holiday, then we can all dispense with Monogamy. Most women don't want to make vows of Love and Obey and Faithfulness to a man who has no plans of keeping it. Just be honest with us, so we can make our own plans in a way that won't hurt our family (we both know we will come home and still look after each other after our fun interludes outside Marriage).


But we all know people can NEVER eat the food they dish out to others

bukatyne:


I said you should open your church...

You will definitely bring a fresh angle to the Christian space....

A lot of pastors hammer on prosperity and marriage

Introducing polygamy will bring a fresh twist...

Need I say it begins with you

I'm working on this. my church will be super. Still doing research, keep your fingers crossed.

bukatyne:

1. Do you want to give up the freedom of
cleaving to one woman? You can be open to her and
share your fears without barriers. Imagine having to
open up to Shade, Titi, Chioma, Halima... haba

2. Rebekah
was acting out a script written by God Just how
Judas was acting a script too

3. What redress? After sleeping with her? He
couldn't divorce her because she was a virgin. The
options were to marry Rachael or forget her. He loved
her and was still willing to go for it after been
scammed. Jacob hated Leah (first wife) that's why God
gave her babies and according to Isrealite customs,
you cannot stop sleeping with your wife or providing
her clothes even if you 'hate' her and have a second
wife. Remember Moses was not born and there was no
provision for divorce

4.
Lols

5. Lot was
greedy and fearful; he chose the best lands for himself
without consideration for Abraham and when the
Angels told him to run to the hills, he limited himself
and requested to stay in small village instead. If he
went to a town, his daughters would have looked for
some one else to bang. Issac (what happened to him
apart from the barreness of his wife? and the son's/
mother's deceit? Remember that God doesnot love
Esau and loves Jacob and destined him to be above his
brother? If Rebekah/Jacob did not do that, something
else would have happened) Ori Esau gba bode noni

6. Unfortunately for you, your are not gunning for
bukatyne's heaven

1. Cleaving to one woman is grossly overrated. There's no special derivable benefit to be gained from cleaving to one woman that one wouldn't get from cleaving to several.

2. Lol. Script ko, crypt ni. My point is monogamy doesn't preclude homes from disintegrating or being dysfunctional.

3. He should have sought redress. This brother held conji for seven years and you say he shouldn't pounce on Leah? Laban was lucky he didn't present his own wife, Jacob would have caned her. He was swindled virgin or no. Surely, in those days, there must have been laws against breaching contracts and agreements.

4. Hehehe. I guess he didn't get the memo.

5. The point is monogamy didn't save him from family issues. He had his own share of family dysfunction like every other person, monogamous or polygamous. Was his Uncle Abe polygamous? Didn't he have his own share of spousal abuse?

6. Your heaven wouldn't be fun anyway, you'd be singing and clapping all day everyday. I need a place where there's fun activities like chatting up numerous virgins. Now, that would be heaven.

Onegai:
If husbands are willing to accept that it's not cheating, it's a mini-holiday, then we can all dispense with Monogamy. Most women don't want to make vows of Love and Obey and Faithfulness to a man who has no plans of keeping it. Just be honest with us, so we can make our own plans in a way that won't hurt our family (we both know we will come home and still look after each other after our fun interludes outside Marriage).


But we all know people can NEVER eat the food they dish out to others

Husbands are superior to wives. Fact. The mating and pairing imperative of the genders dictates it. Wives are in no position to demands equality in playing the field with their husbands. Any woman who attempted this advice of yours in the old times would wish she'd never been born.

Mondisweets:
if another man's bigger kondo makes her happy i hope u wont crucify her for it

If another man makes her happy then we won't stay married. However, I won't infringe on her happiness or identity just because she's married.

A happy person is a happy spouse.

Timbuktou:
Husbands are superior to wives. Fact. The mating and pairing imperative of the genders dictates it. Wives are in no position to demands equality in playing the field with their husbands. Any woman who attempted this advice of yours in the old times would wish she'd never been born.

If Husbands are superior to their wives, then such husbands should expect no sort of financial support to their families from their wives. In my grandfather's time, he could marry several wives. But if they went breaking their backs to feed their kids while he complained of them being "gold-diggers, unsupportive" etc (like the modern man does), he would be publicly shamed before the village by elders. That's a fact. In the past, fear of raising several kids, none of them your own caused men to look for psychological ways to contain women from cheating (i.e ancestral curses, the onus of maintaining a happy family on the woman etc).

Sadly, the modern woman goes to the same church you attend, where you read the bible and rationalised it was cool for David to have several wives. Remember, Bathsheba had a husband. Most men will end up being the Uriah, not the David (but your egos will sadly not let you see that fact). Think I'm lying? Show me the woman who will turn down the chance to be Dangote's 3rd wife compared to be the 1st wife of a relatively poorer man who has no self-control.

Go on, I'll wait.

You cannot say equality doesn't exist, expect to cheat freely and miraculously turn around, demand my faithfulness and declare I have an equal share of the financial responsibility of the family. That one has passed eating your cake and having it, that also gives the cake to Adamu, Tunde and Chukuma. All or nothing. Be free to be very polygamous but you better be willing to pay up whatever outcome of it (the day I have to ask you more than twice for schoolfees because you're broke because 2nd wife's 3rd child and 4th wife's 1st child collected schoolfees yesterday and you dare complain I should fend for myself, is the day I start to be very intimate with a good-looking dude).

I have never seen a truly repentant wife who cheated. Mostly because it's because it's so hard to women to get caught. Ask all the guys who have had their share of married women how many irate husbands show up threatening to kill them and compare anecdotally with the number of wives complaining about cheating husbands.

Don't worry dude. I'm not trying to change your mind on this subject. This is for the other guys out there thinking Life and their choices have ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

Lmao @ bold. You're veryy funny

True about the uriahs who imagine they are the Davids.
I've always said some guys don't know what they are indirectly endorsing when they pat cheating guys on the back.
There's just an almost exact equal number of men and women in existence with men slightly higher in number.
If all of them have the mindset that they are entitled to more than one woman,it is imperative that they learn to share since there's not enough for each man to have more than one woman to himself.
Which is exactly what's happening anyway. Everybody is sleeing with everybody.

Onegai:


If Husbands are superior to their wives, then such husbands should expect no sort of financial support to their families from their wives. In my grandfather's time, he could marry several wives. But if they went breaking their backs to feed their kids while he complained of them being "gold-diggers, unsupportive" etc (like the modern man does), he would be publicly shamed before the village by elders. That's a fact. In the past, fear of raising several kids, none of them your own caused men to look for psychological ways to contain women from cheating (i.e ancestral curses, the onus of maintaining a happy family on the woman etc).

Sadly, the modern woman goes to the same church you attend, where you read the bible and rationalised it was cool for David to have several wives. Remember, Bathsheba had a husband. Most men will end up being the Uriah, not the David (but your egos will sadly not let you see that fact). Think I'm lying? Show me the woman who will turn down the chance to be Dangote's 3rd wife compared to be the 1st wife of a relatively poorer man who has no self-control.

Go on, I'll wait.

You cannot say equality doesn't exist, expect to cheat freely and miraculously turn around, demand my faithfulness and declare I have an equal share of the financial responsibility of the family. That one has passed eating your cake and having it, that also gives the cake to Adamu, Tunde and Chukuma. All or nothing. Be free to be very polygamous but you better be willing to pay up whatever outcome of it (the day I have to ask you more than twice for schoolfees because you're broke because 2nd wife's 3rd child and 4th wife's 1st child collected schoolfees yesterday and you dare complain I should fend for myself, is the day I start to be very intimate with a good-looking dude).

I have never seen a truly repentant wife who cheated. Mostly because it's because it's so hard to women to get caught. Ask all the guys who have had their share of married women how many irate husbands show up threatening to kill them and compare anecdotally with the number of wives complaining about cheating husbands.

Don't worry dude. I'm not trying to change your mind on this subject. This is for the other guys out there thinking Life and their choices have ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

Onegai:


1. If Husbands are superior to their wives, then such husbands should expect no sort of financial support to their families from their wives. In my grandfather's time, he could marry several wives. But if they went breaking their backs to feed their kids while he complained of them being "gold-diggers, unsupportive" etc (like the modern man does), he would be publicly shamed before the village by elders. That's a fact. In the past, fear of raising several kids, none of them your own caused men to look for psychological ways to contain women from cheating (i.e ancestral curses, the onus of maintaining a happy family on the woman etc).

2. Sadly, the modern woman goes to the same church you attend, where you read the bible and rationalised it was cool for David to have several wives. Remember, Bathsheba had a husband. Most men will end up being the Uriah, not the David (but your egos will sadly not let you see that fact). Think I'm lying? Show me the woman who will turn down the chance to be Dangote's 3rd wife compared to be the 1st wife of a relatively poorer man who has no self-control.

Go on, I'll wait.

3. You cannot say equality doesn't exist, expect to cheat freely and miraculously turn around, demand my faithfulness and declare I have an equal share of the financial responsibility of the family. That one has passed eating your cake and having it, that also gives the cake to Adamu, Tunde and Chukuma. All or nothing. Be free to be very polygamous but you better be willing to pay up whatever outcome of it (the day I have to ask you more than twice for schoolfees because you're broke because 2nd wife's 3rd child and 4th wife's 1st child collected schoolfees yesterday and you dare complain I should fend for myself, is the day I start to be very intimate with a good-looking dude).

4. I have never seen a truly repentant wife who cheated. Mostly because it's because it's so hard to women to get caught. Ask all the guys who have had their share of married women how many irate husbands show up threatening to kill them and compare anecdotally with the number of wives complaining about cheating husbands.

5. Don't worry dude. I'm not trying to change your mind on this subject. This is for the other guys out there thinking Life and their choices have ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

Babe, you apparently don't know where I stand on marriage. I am the lord of my home. Period. There is no gender equality in my home. Period. I don't request my wife's financial input, even though, she still chips in when she's in the mood. Even if I requested it, that is only one angle of my responsibilities she would feel honoured to be a part of.

The problem, like you have noted is in the different practices in our grandfathers days and ours and it's no fault of ours. We have been hoodwinked by the west into thinking their way is better, now divorce is rife over there, and is becoming so here. You see, that marriage model of theirs is not sustainable.

Per Dangote being able to pick and choose, I totally agree with you but why is it that majority of today's men are cuckolded with no means of redress? Because we have been lied to and made to practice unnatural forms of coupling/pairing. I'm nowhere near Dangote in terms of wealth but, I can hold my own and I improve daily.

Also, I can say there is no equality because I know how things should work. I have a very very sexy, submissive wife. However, if she's playing the field, good for her. If she gets caught, though, *shakes head, she knows to just move on from there. She will not be entering my house again, not to talk of leaving with her things, not to talk of touchonf any of my kids.

I don't play.

Timbuktou:

Babe, you apparently don't know where I stand on marriage. I am the lord of my home. Period. There is no gender equality in my home. Period. I don't request my wife's financial input, even though, she still chips in when she's in the mood. Even if I requested it, that is only one angle of my responsibilities she would feel honoured to be a part of.

The problem, like you have noted is in the different practices in our grandfathers days and ours and it's no fault of ours. We have been hoodwinked by the west into thinking their way is better, now divorce is rife over there, and is becoming so here. You see, that marriage model of theirs is not sustainable.

Per Dangote being able to pick and choose, I totally agree with you but why is it that majority of today's men are cuckolded with no means of redress? Because we have been lied to and made to practice unnatural forms of coupling/pairing. I'm nowhere near Dangote in terms of wealth but, I can hold my own and I improve daily.

Also, I can say there is no equality because I know how things should work. I have a very very sexy, submissive wife. However, if she's playing the field, good for her. If she gets caught, though, *shakes head, she knows to just move on from there. She will not be entering my house again, not to talk of leaving with her things, not to talk of touchonf any of my kids.

I don't play.

What you consider African is what was the prevailing thinking in the West some 100 years ago. There is nothing uniquely African about it, just that Africans are the slowest in development of any kind.

Happy Thursday.

Onegai, also, you're just trolling when you say you'll be asking for double the school fees. If I don't have, then I don't have. You don't get it. The wife is the wife. There was a story on here about a jailed banker whose wife went fraternising with her husband's enemy. Husband found out and has exited the marriage. The wife will lose, this is Nigeria not silly US or UK or even Sweden. She will chew her finger finally.

The worst a wife can do is to exit the marriage, with none of my kids, hahahahahaha. At best, I'd have had her best years. Ask about Adenuga's first wife and their divorce, she left and he took his child who isn't even up to a year old.

When the wife leaves, and I want others, there will always be candidates. Sexy, nubile, fresh, sweet candidates. Not all these mgbekes forming equal with hardened buttocks.

Some of us are very traditional, mind you.

carefreewannabe:


What you consider African is what was the prevailing thinking in the West some 100 years ago. There is nothing uniquely African about it, just that Africans are the slowest in development of any kind.

Happy Thursday.

Well, then, if it isn't strictly African, you'd agree it's the default? Back to sender. What do you know about African civilisation? Please, let's not go there. Civilisations rise and fall. Fact. Are you aware that more and more western males are avoiding marriage altogether? Babe, get with the times. What you know is what's on mainstream media. People are checking out of marriage en masse because they realise it's a shitty deal for men. Don't take my word for it. Google it up. In a decade or two, women would have no value except to have sex with. The only thing the state would be forced to do is mandate men to marry or face the consequences. Don't get it twisted, sis.

Great day to you too

Timbuktou:
Onegai, also, you're just trolling when you say you'll be asking for double the school fees. If I don't have, then I don't have. You don't get it. The wife is the wife. There was a story on here about a jailed banker whose wife went fraternising with her husband's enemy. Husband found out and has exited the marriage. The wife will lose, this is Nigeria not silly US or UK or even Sweden. She will chew her finger finally.

The worst a wife can do is to exit the marriage, with none of my kids, hahahahahaha. At best, I'd have had her best years. Ask about Adenuga's first wife and their divorce, she left and he took his child who isn't even up to a year old.

When the wife leaves, and I want others, there will always be candidates. Sexy, nubile, fresh, sweet candidates. Not all these mgbekes forming equal with hardened buttocks.

Some of us are very traditional, mind you.

Sigh.

Do you know if you had said nothing, I would have believed you were married? You can tell when a man is married, you don't sound like one. Those whom are, they don't need to say it, by their utterances you will know. Even the married ones who cheat are never brazen and won't openly beat their chest about it, it's coded.

See, everyone has their social class and things work differently there. It's only poor people that the wives leave empty-handed. You don't have to believe it, but anyone who thinks N5mil is big money is the one thinking his divorce is a matter of "leave my house". Somehow, you never hear of divorce settlements. I do, and it's usually a condition of them, "pls do not discuss the settlements outside". Or you think all those fat lawyers that are SANs make their money off representing middle-class people or company/corporate law pays that well alone? The only time those stories break the news is when the situation has gotten way out of control.

A lot of people on the outside err and think "oh the woman is destitute" when they see her husband flaunting wealth and she's keeping a low profile. Don't you worry, keep believing that. After all, there are 2 Nigerias and most people think the public one they see is the only one.

@carefreewannabe, this dude is in his early to mid 20s somewhere with no gf. He assumes women know nothing and he's superior. It's usually young men that say women aren't smart and young women that feel all men can be swayed by intimacy and hotness perpetually.

Older married people don't underestimate the opposite gender. Abi?

@Timbuktou, my dear, you are right about all! (Me practising Positive Reinforcement!!)

Onegai:


Sigh.

Do you know if you had said nothing, I would have believed you were married? You can tell when a man is married, you don't sound like one. Those whom are, they don't need to say it, by their utterances you will know. Even the married ones who cheat are never brazen and won't openly beat their chest about it, it's coded.

See, everyone has their social class and things work differently there. It's only poor people that the wives leave empty-handed. You don't have to believe it, but anyone who thinks N5mil is big money is the one thinking his divorce is a matter of "leave my house". Somehow, you never hear of divorce settlements. I do, and it's usually a condition of them, "pls do not discuss the settlements outside". Or you think all those fat lawyers that are SANs make their money off representing middle-class people or company/corporate law pays that well alone? The only time those stories break the news is when the situation has gotten way out of control.

A lot of people on the outside err and think "oh the woman is destitute" when they see her husband flaunting wealth and she's keeping a low profile. Don't you worry, keep believing that. After all, there are 2 Nigerias and most people think the public one they see is the only one.

Alright, then, you are right. I am not married. You got me there. Let me scamper off in shame.

Onegai:
@carefreewannabe, this dude is in his early to mid 20s somewhere with no gf. He assumes women know nothing and he's superior. It's usually young men that say women aren't smart and young women that feel all men can be swayed by intimacy and hotness perpetually.

Older married people don't underestimate the opposite gender. Abi?

@Timbuktou, my dear, you are right about all! (Me practising Positive Reinforcement!!)

Oh, shots fired. Onegai, you disagree strongly without insulting me. I don't have to agree with your opinion. And you certainly don't have to throw digs at me. I maybe a teenager but, I think I deserve some respect. Thanks for your time, though.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

My dear, no need for this. My apologies if it smarted a little.

But to be honest, your opinion won't help you. You can't go into a market expecting everyone to cheat you, without it happening. You cannot go into marriage expecting to dictate things according to your tune and it will somehow be a pleasant experience for all.

If you want a wonderful woman, respect yourself and respect her. That's it, that's all.

Understand that, when you need financial help from your wife, if she doesn't give it doesn't mean she doesn't care, it means she doesn't want a situation where later on, your ego as a man is dented because of it (are there not some times your parents came to your rescue and you resented them. Because you thought you were grown-up enough to handle things? How much more so a wife!)

Understand that most women who stay with cheating husbands are doing so because of the social and financial implications of being married to a big man. If the situation won't kill me, I'd rather be "Mrs Otedola" than ex-Mrs. Otedola and if he's embarassing me out there by cheating publicly and disrespecting me, only then will I divorce him (I'm speaking from experience). Women aren't staying because of some archaic conditions, my bro-in-law's grandmother (Yoruba) left her first hubby at a time all you men feel wives were staying in unhappy marriages.

Just be the best you can be emotionally to a woman, be strong for her and be considerate, tolerant and kind and not selfish. You will never need to demand for submission or respect, she will freely give it and she will put your happiness high up there. All the best

Just when I thought I was going to enjoy reading some intelligent banter between these two, someone just had to go there...

These chics can't help themselves

thread appears to have taken a different turn.

Sophyrocks:
I'm taken.

Sophy, Sophy, Sophy, hold it right there!

How can you drop such momentous news - and so blithely
You mean we should be jubilating and jollying ?
Such good news so early in the new year?

I can't believe nobody jumped on this? I haven't been paying attention, so maybe you've announced it already?

The one we have been ontop mountain for - answered prayer you no talk

Come, who is the lucky somebody? Does he know the ting wey he carry

Oya full gist please! Before I return to the mountain top

Carefreewannabe and Shirley07 - it remain you both 0!

Sorry to derail, but I just have too...

TV

^{**quickly changes dp in celebration **}

Who took Sophie and where have they taken her too?

TV01:

Sophy, Sophy, Sophy, hold it right there!

How can you drop such momentous news - and so blithely
You mean we should be jubilating and jollying ?
Such good news so early in the new year?

I can't believe nobody jumped on this? I haven't been paying attention, so maybe you've announced it already?

The one we have been ontop mountain for - answered prayer you no talk

Come, who is the lucky somebody? Does he know the ting wey he carry

Oya full gist please! Before I return to the mountain top

Carefreewannabe and Shirley07 - it remain you both 0!

Sorry to derail, but I just have too...

TV

^{**quickly changes dp in celebration **}

I am in a relationship.

Timbuktou:
Well, then, if it isn't strictly African, you'd agree it's the default? Back to sender. What do you know about African civilisation? Please, let's not go there. Civilisations rise and fall. Fact. Are you aware that more and more western males are avoiding marriage altogether? Babe, get with the times. What you know is what's on mainstream media. People are checking out of marriage en masse because they realise it's a shitty deal for men. Don't take my word for it. Google it up. In a decade or two, women would have no value except to have sex with. The only thing the state would be forced to do is mandate men to marry or face the consequences. Don't get it twisted, sis.

Great day to you too

What is by default? That men are superior?

They are / were in primitive societies, in which physical strength was essential to survival.
Times have changed. You need to "get with the times", obviously.


You very obviously discuss topics that you know very little about.
The fact that fewer people marry in the West nowadays has different causes. You oversimplify the phenomenon.

And to say that ONLY men reject marriage as a life style further demonstrates how little you know about Western societies.
I don't need google and other media, I live in the West.

Onegai:
@carefreewannabe, this dude is in his early to mid 20s somewhere with no gf. He assumes women know nothing and he's superior. It's usually young men that say women aren't smart and young women that feel all men can be swayed by intimacy and hotness perpetually.

Older married people don't underestimate the opposite gender. Abi?

@Timbuktou, my dear, you are right about all! (Me practising Positive Reinforcement!!)

People try to make other people feel inferior to have a feeling of superiority to compensate for their own, more or less subconscious, feelings of inferiority.

It's simple psychology and it is not necessarily a question of how old they are.

Onegai:
@carefreewannabe, this dude is in his early to mid 20s somewhere with no gf. He assumes women know nothing and he's superior. It's usually young men that say women aren't smart and young women that feel all men can be swayed by intimacy and hotness perpetually.

Older married people don't underestimate the opposite gender. Abi?

my dear, you are right about all! (Me practising Positive Reinforcement!!)

Suspected so.

carefreewannabe:


1. What is by default? That men are superior?

2. They are / were in primitive societies, in which physical strength was essential to survival.
Times have changed. You need to "get with the times", obviously.


3. You very obviously discuss topics that you know very little about.
The fact that fewer people marry in the West nowadays has different causes. You oversimplify the phenomenon.

4. And to say that ONLY men reject marriage as a life style further demonstrates how little you know about Western societies.

5. I don't need google and other media, I live in the West.

1. As a matter of fact.

2. We could write a book on this, I'd rather not go into this. Time and energy sapping. Check my most recent posts on the boys night out thread for further clarification.

3. Very little? Because I refuse to believe your own version of events? Only strenght, yet women will not willfully marry a man of lower status than they amongst other pairing/coupling factors?

4. I said only men? Oh, ok, then.

5. Mainstream media in your country constantly cites findings of research and studies then? My bad.

Timbuktou:


1. Cleaving to one woman is grossly overrated. There's no special derivable benefit to be gained from cleaving to one woman that one wouldn't get from cleaving to several.

2. Lol. Script ko, crypt ni. My point is monogamy doesn't preclude homes from disintegrating or being dysfunctional.

3. He should have sought redress. This brother held conji for seven years and you say he shouldn't pounce on Leah? Laban was lucky he didn't present his own wife, Jacob would have caned her. He was swindled virgin or no. Surely, in those days, there must have been laws against breaching contracts and agreements.

4. Hehehe. I guess he didn't get the memo.

5. The point is monogamy didn't save him from family issues. He had his own share of family dysfunction like every other person, monogamous or polygamous. Was his Uncle Abe polygamous? Didn't he have his own share of spousal abuse?

6. Your heaven wouldn't be fun anyway, you'd be singing and clapping all day everyday. I need a place where there's fun activities like chatting up numerous virgins. Now, that would be heaven.

1. Try cleaving to three and come to testify

2. Your point, very true though monogamy has an edge over polygamy when it comes to been peaceful

3. I am not blaming Jacob here, Laban's trickery was one of the consequences of deceiving his father and cheating his brother. As for law against such stuffs, it was until Moses' time and even at that, it was jungle justice kind of stuff

4. You would have served him

5. Who suffered spousal abuse? Lot or Jacob? Abraham was not polygamous but he slept with another woman outside marriage to give him a child (courtesy his wife)

6. Try

carefreewannabe:


People try to make other people feel inferior to have a feeling of superiority to compensate for their own, more or less subconscious, feelings of inferiority.

It's simple psychology and it is not necessarily a question of how old they are.

Like kings and their subjects, bosses and their employees, parents and their children? You girls are funny.

Timbuktou:
I'm working on this. my church will be super. Still doing research, keep your fingers crossed.

Please make me head usher, now I am begging