what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? - Family (5) - Nairaland
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The Son My Late Dad Had Out Of Wedlock Locked My Mum Out Of Our House, Pls Advis / Thread For Born Out Of Wedlock Nlers / Can You Marry A Lady That Gave Birth Out Of Wedlock? (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by lastpage: 12:08am On Feb 16, 2015 |
dominion247: 1.) both Parents have a duty to raise their Child. BOTH must contribute .... and that is YOU and HIM. Caveat: The duty is to the BABY...not to you, the Mother. Lets get that clear as most women use the "child" as a weapon/means to task the baby's father. 2.)The above has nothing to do with whether you are married or not.... the responsibility in question is to the child. Having said the above, your story evokes sympathy and l guess that is what you set out to do. Since we cannot hear from the other party (your Baby's Father), we should not also take everything you have said here as the "Gospel truth". "Hindsight & Experience" tells us that when such things happen between a man and a woman, the woman especially, goes to great lengths to portray the man as evil ........while playing the victim. Now. let us look at your statements: a) You lost ur job while 3months pregnant. You then moved-in with this man. So, your man has a house over his head when you "moved-in" with him. or was he homeless by then? You later said you borrowed him money to rent same house? (show us evidence that it was your money that was used in renting the same house you alleged he kicked you out of). b) You never mentioned anywhere that your husband has a job or earns income, anywhere in your post. The impression you gave is that he was living off-you. If that is true, how come you chose to have a baby for a man without a job or income (you could abort it instead of starting a family by "moving-in" with him). On the other hand, if he earns income, why dont you mention it? How do you then want someone without income to come and look after you or your baby? Your story get K-leg! c) Now, let me tell you something, even if it is true that you borrowed him money to rent that house, you will NOT get a penny back. The Court will remind you that you both lived in the house (or were you paying "rent" to him for living in the same house?). You both "used-up the money" and most likely the rent has expired by now, so which money do you want him to refund you? If you want refund, he too can simply calculate your rent and demand you pay him the backlog.  d.) It is a common occurrence for women to use "money meant for the child" upbringing, for themselves". Maybe the man is refusing to give you money because he feels, with good reason, to think that any money he gives you, will not be expended on the baby. So, how can you assure him that the money will be spent on the child.... and not on buying Jewellery or Lace material. e) Again, you did not tell us about the "kind of relationship" you guys have? Were you into a serious relationship, hoping to get married "soon" or was it just a "one night stand" that led to pregnancy and then you expect him to marry you? Are you one of those women who think "a man is only good for sperm donation and should have NOTHING to do with the child...except of course, be a "Perpetual ATM" for the mother of the child? Was having a child, at that point, the wish and consent of the man? (you might argue that the man phucked you and therefore should know the consequence! Sorry, "shex does not equate babies", condoms and pills were invented for a reason moreover, you both phucked each other and are both responsible as the other, for preventing unwanted pregnancies.) So, lets come back home: What are you expecting now? MONEY, right? Or maybe you want to force him to marry you? Or you want to send him to jail? ..Too bad, you should have waited till he relocates with you to live in the U.K, Europe or America!  You dont need "the law" if all you want is just for him to cater for the(his) child. 98% of Nigerian men, generally will do anything to feed their own child. I hop this man is not the lowly 2%? Speak to him calmly, dont call him obscene names, stop being aggressive, threatening and combative (which is easily seen in your post up there). Call him calmly (or have one of his close and respected friends, lead you to him).... to ask him to "assist with items" that the baby needs from time to time - pampers, Baby milk, Baby drugs, baby clothings, e.t.c ............ But not CASH which can easily be diverted to other uses. I am sure he will oblige, just for the sake of the child. If all that does not work, Let me give you a "sure way" out. Take that baby and dump him/her at the door steps of that man (if it is his biological child o!) ...and let us see whether the man will not house and feed this baby ....and YOU can go sort yourself out. And you too, try and get yourself a job now... Pregnancy is over. You have brought a baby to the world and you need to feed the baby (just as your "baby father" also). Divert some of this "anger/energy you are using in chasing the man, into getting a job. Maybe if you have a source of income, you wont be feeling so jilted? Women in general must get-over this idea that once they have a baby with a man, it translates to a commercial bank "planting an ATM, complete with Card and PIN, in their bedroom".  ....and next time, before you open your legs for a whacking, make sure "the man is the real deal", otherwise, Vibrator is not expensive...... we are tired of all these sorry tales from women like you.  Okay, you wont like my contribution and l am sure a lot of women wont as well. Tough Luck, go deal with it! Lastpage! 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by lastpage: 12:23am On Feb 16, 2015 |
ACM10: Wait o, you are attacking the Lawyer, right? *Where in his post did he say the man or woman is a criminal? (You seem to have comprehension issues otherwise, the Lawyer said "The man HAS NOT committed any offence/ This is NOT a criminal issue". The Lawyer said ab initio that "he would not like to take sides" on such emotional issues because "the other party has not given his own defence". So, in your own court, you will simply start castigating the man, just because "the woman said he is a devil", right? Mumu like you! This Lawyer did not absolve the father of the child of any obligations but rather asked the woman to contact him, if she is interested, for free Legal services ...even as far as regularisation of the marriage! Again, what is wrong in calling a spade, a spade? Was it not "unprotected sex" that leads to pregnancy, especially for unmarried people? Why must such "important subject" be avoided? If they both practised "safe sex", would there be an unwanted child to deal with, right now? I think people like you will generally goad the woman into a legal quagmire as a way of venting your "man-hatred" emotions. The best any child support service can do is to first establish the paternity of the child and if positive, ask the man to take up part of the responsibility for his upkeep. As for the woman, since they are not married, she does not get a brass farden, in terms of Alimony or that sort of "freebie". Be fair to this Lawyer, even if you are an "angry person", men are not the cause of your issues, deal with them personally. Moreover, the Lawyer was referring to the Nigerian Constitution/Environment..... not some foreign land where women have perfected the art of turning such issues to WINNING a Lottery!  Lastpage! 2 Likes |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by kilmix: 12:28am On Feb 16, 2015 |
noqualms1 paradise163 Teenaba It's past bedtime... go and sleep |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by FlintGuevara(m): 12:29am On Feb 16, 2015 |
Nigerian Law only concerns itself with inheritance issues, if the both if you were married, we would've been talking about alimony. |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by chicha: 12:36am On Feb 16, 2015 |
Go to human rIght |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Heart2heart(m): 12:45am On Feb 16, 2015 |
Wow! Sorry about that. But the reason why he asked u to leave was because he just felt his transition from bachelor to a family man was too quick and fast. He just felt he is not in full control of this transition. Yes! He feels u re manipulating the control buttoon or situations re doing so in ur favor. Men loves to be in control of certain things about them. You giving him money to rent an apartment, means u were more into championing the marriage or live-in arranging more than him. Why do i say so? It is what I said because u lent the money to assist him rent a shelter for u both n the baby; if u were truly in to love him why LENDING? Why not give? Give to the course of you both and what u share. Well, I will just advice girls, never to allow a man feel his is on his toes to transit into a married man by any guise or means. That shock was what made him take it out on u. Really, it is usually a very sad feeling for guys who relish the boyhood single free life, or guys who would really miss their singlessness to marriage, not to talk of abrubtly weaning them of the status they relished so much. U tk force wan comot feeding bottle from imm mouth. Solution: move on! Dnt insult him over the issue. When the dust settles, he will come for u. 1 Like |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Nobody: 12:55am On Feb 16, 2015 |
dominion247:man wey no get money to rent...na to pay child support him go fit? Why guys wey no get money dey fuwadu and women dey allow them cum inside...which kind desperation be that? |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Nobody: 1:20am On Feb 16, 2015 |
missdre:haha God and god....even d op no want all those to happen to d guy. confusionist! |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Nobody: 1:36am On Feb 16, 2015 |
dominion247:Looks like a lie.but if its the truth then here is my comment.there is no law even in Europe and Nigeria..the owner of the baby is the man and not you too.so now,he sent you away because he doesn't have money to take care of you and the kid.in future maybe 2 years time,when he gets money,he come back and tell you that he wants to take his child back.then you will say no,he will take you to court.then the judge will tell you that the baby belongs to the man and not you.but you are the mother.in other words,the judge will say,that you should list all the whole expenses you made for the kid in cash.if you say 50million.it left for you.now the judge will tell the man to pay you 50million.when he pays you,then you hand over the kid to him.but that doesnt mean that you will not see her when she grows up or that she cant visit you.after all youre the mother.i rest my case |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by oluagness(m): 3:02am On Feb 16, 2015 |
BeeBeeOoh: |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by todayguest(m): 3:05am On Feb 16, 2015 |
Someone please help me answerare you saying, there's no out-of-wedlock child in your village? @ op, I feel your pain. Failure to supply necessary, is an offence. Whether married or not. Provided you're convinced, he's the biological father. He must take his child or provide necessaries. Pls consult an expert in family law. |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by todayguest(m): 3:21am On Feb 16, 2015 |
kilmix:big thanks for scrutinizing her for us. |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Emilord(m): 4:44am On Feb 16, 2015 |
My dear is so unfortunate,but you have no case against him.You can sue but cannot succed.The reason being that the money you gave to him amounted to just merely a gift because you guys are not married,so you cant enforce it against him.But,if you have reduced the money you lend him into writing and there was an agreement to pay back,then it is enforceable by an action for payment of debts.As regards your child,our law no longer knows what is illegitmate child,every person is recognised in law.But,since you are not married yet,he only acquires your domicile of origin.Dont waste your money employing the service of legal practitioner because they wont tell you this. Just be careful next time. *see my secretary for my consultation fee*...lols |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by 42n8dzydoo(m): 5:10am On Feb 16, 2015 |
dominion247:The ministry of women affairs take such cases up. Try and locate one. All the best. 1 Like |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Dreal1247: 5:14am On Feb 16, 2015 |
dominion247:. If u ar sure of what u ar saying, take the matter to the welfare department of ur Local Govt Area. U wil be mud taken care of |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Nobody: 5:38am On Feb 16, 2015 |
how old are you? i need a good woman in my life. i dont mind the baby if your character is good dominion247: |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by boma95(f): 5:58am On Feb 16, 2015 |
dominion247: What abt his family?? |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by AREWA2266: 6:07am On Feb 16, 2015 |
if he has accepted that he is the father of the child you can charge him to court,a child born out of wedlock has equal right with those born in wedlock in as much as paternity is not in dispute |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by sambisa5: 6:12am On Feb 16, 2015 |
MrPresident: honestly, there is more to this story ooooo,,,perhaps the man doesn't belive he owns the child........and for the man not to be assisting in the upbringing of the child,,,,,,i think something is fishing too..... Or... I also think, the man is not financially ok,,,because if she could borrow him money to rent a house,,,,,meaning the man self no too owe like that....... |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by AdeniyiA(m): 6:27am On Feb 16, 2015 |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by FOCAL2015(m): 6:30am On Feb 16, 2015 |
It is a pity that some men like me can be wicked. Don't allow this to push you down . You have a right by law to take the man up to live up to his responsibility even if he did not officially marry you. Go to the court of law and ask after female law organization that fight for the right of the oppressed female society. But quickly find a way to make your self happy and move on with your life too. That is the most important 1 Like |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by hardbody: 6:32am On Feb 16, 2015 |
dominion247: I have reviewed and slept over this matter and wish to advise that you make the best of a bad situation such as this. If you were married then you can get maintenance order from the appropriate court. To compound the matter, the law knows nothing about children born out of wedlock. All children are now legitimate under the law. Just use moral suasion. I wish you the best. |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Montaque(m): 6:41am On Feb 16, 2015 |
One thing is sure, Nobody can force the man to marry you now...even the courts. So take that aspect off your mind. However, the man can be persuaded to take care of you and/or the baby. This can be done through Family/customary intervention The welfare unit of your local Govt The arbitration/conciliation court units in your area Heart to heart talk with the man. I am waiting for a day when this will be made a statutory law in nigeria. So that men can be more responsible,and women,more wise. but the best revenge is success. Best of luck. |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by kilmix: 7:04am On Feb 16, 2015 |
todayguest: Uw man... it's just a Super-fake-story. She failed to respond to my observation. |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Mcponpin(m): 7:25am On Feb 16, 2015 |
dominion247: So you moved out yourself  You used your hand to do yourself... Buh, you re wicked ooo.... You still want to direct thunder to him... Chai!!! Who knows... You might intentionally get pregnant for him to tie him down cos it seems you re forcing yourself on him... Why didn't you use postinor? |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by maternal: 7:49am On Feb 16, 2015 |
Nothing will happen. I have a female cousin who was in the same situation. If the man has money he'll fight the case or give bribe to someone. If not and you win how much will you get from a poor man. Just go about your life. Lastly stop telling a one sided story. Tell us the real story. Why would you even allow someone like this to enter you and have his baby. He get "swag" I'm sure abi ? |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Slimmos(m): 7:54am On Feb 16, 2015 |
dominion247:babe dat guy must b a God forsaking basta.rd , i just checked ur dp mehn babe u are so beautiful... i am surprise u can stoop so low for a stuupid guy to use u any how... |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by naijaboyof4life(m): 8:01am On Feb 16, 2015 |
Obedience is better than sacrifice. When they say wait till marriage to have sex, it is problem. Now wahala don come. You are running everywhere. But don't worry sha, God is in control. Can't people sue in Nigeria? You can sue for liability. HE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD. HE WAS PART OF THE CREATION. HAve you visited his family members. Only an responsible family will force him into taking responsibility. |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Freewoman(f): 8:06am On Feb 16, 2015 |
Visit any nearest Welfare office for Legal Advise, it is free, ...................... they will get the father of the baby to take complete responsibility of the baby...............certainly there is law in Nigeria 1 Like |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by torpedodaezy(f): 8:55am On Feb 16, 2015 |
dominion247:there is nothing to be worried abt. as far as he's the father of the baby, u will win d case. but why didnt u use protection or contraceptive pills |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Nobody: 9:07am On Feb 16, 2015 |
MrPresident: She already said the reason she might not win the case which is that they are not legally man and wife , I wonder the more you're finding 1 Like |
| Re: what does Nigerian law say about children born out of wedlock? by Tylerdan(m): 9:22am On Feb 16, 2015 |
OP people can give you all personal opinion they have but it may never reflect the position of the Law or Nigeria's federal constitution. Why don't you just work into a law firm and seek legal advice most times you will get a free advice from the lawyer especially a matured female lawyer. I can tell you that the Women and Child protection act covers some of the areas you may have issues with. 1 Like |
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