When you speak, try to let your words flow and don’t be afraid to speak your mind. People who hesitate and hedge are perceived as less powerful than those who do not.

Watch your mannerisms and behaviors. Try to avoid the following non- verbal indicators of beta status:

1) Using “ah” and “um,” partial sentences, and partial words. Studies have shown that people consider others who talk like this to lack confidence and not be too bright. It’s a sign of nervousness. The reason we say “um” is because we’re afraid we’re going to be interrupted by the other person. Instead, don’t be afraid to pause for effect. Pausing before important points will make you seem more competent and people will remember what you say

2) Speaking too fast. This gives off the impression that you feel anxious and have low self-confidence. A normal, comfortable speaking rate varies within a moderate range from 125 to 150 words per minute. Slow down!

3) Speaking with a monotone voice, also known as mumbling. People with a narrow pitch range are viewed as unassertive, uninteresting, and lacking in confidence. So vary your pitch and you will be perceived as outgoing and

4) Pausing too long before responding to a question. This indicates that you’re thinking too hard for your answer, which makes you seem indecisive. It also looks like you’re trying too hard to win the other person’s approval.

5) Pulled-in, closed postures. An alpha male spreads his arms and legs out and is open. When standing, you can force open your body language by hooking your thumbs in your back pockets.

6) Holding your hands in front of you. This is a defensive gesture. Instead hold yourself open and vulnerable. (You hold yourself vulnerable because you feel no fear.) Let your arms relax and be open. Nobody’s going to punch you, so why do you need to block yourself?

7) Twitching your fingers or hands. When you're across the table from someone there's a natural inclination to play with sugar packets or straw wrappers with your fingers. Don't. And don’t drum your fingers on the table—women hate that.

Touching your face when you talk. This indicates that you’re thinking too hard, you’re indecisive, or that you feel shy. To convey confidence, hold your hands together in a steeple shape in front of your chest or face. (A lot of professors do this when they are lecturing.) Another posture that will help you when you need a huge display of confidence is holding your hands at your hips. Cops do this when they need to establish authority over criminal suspects.

9) Folding or crossing your arms in front of you. On rare occasions it is possible to fold your arms in an alpha fashion (watch Brad Pitt in the movie Fight Club for a good demonstration of this), but as a general rule, avoid it.

10) Rigid or hunched posture. An alpha male has a relaxed posture, whether he’s standing or sitting. Loosen up and spread out.

11) Looking down. The alpha man holds his head high. It shows zest. Looking down at the floor telegraphs “loser.” Keep your chin up. Expose your neck—don’t worry, nobody’s going to choke you! Look at the person you’re talking to; remember what I said about using your eyes.

12) Nervous facial gestures such as lip licking, pursing your lips, twitching your nose, and biting your lips. An alpha male has a relaxed face and mouth because he fears no one.


Excessive smiling. Studies of primates have shown that beta males will smile as a way to signal their harmlessness to stronger males. Beta humans smile to show they’re not a threat. The alpha male, however, only smiles when there is something to smile about. And yes—he can be a threat.

14) Walking fast as part of your normal walk. Instead, walk a little slower than normal, almost as if you’re swaggering. You’re alpha—no one’s chasing you and you’re not rushing to please anyone else. If you’re not in a hurry to get somewhere, walk like you’re relaxed and confident. Think: “I am the man. I can make any woman happy.”

15) Walking only with your legs. Don’t be afraid to move your torso and arms. Try this: walk as if you’d just had a massive success and felt on top of the world. Watch what you do with your body. You may find yourself moving your arms along with your shoulders and having a slight bounce in your step. Now, do that all the time.

16) Slouching. You don’t have to stand uncomfortably ramrod straight, but you should have your shoulders back. Watch Brad Pitt in any of his movies for examples of how to comfortably hold your back straight. (I keep bringing Brad Pitt up because he provides an excellent example of what good body language looks like. Also watch George Clooney. For fans of older movies, check out Sean Connery in From Russia With Love and Rock Hudson in Pillow Talk.)

17) Blinking a lot. Instead blink your eyes slowly. Don't close your eyes in discomfort. Just let your eyelids relax. In fact, let them droop a bit. Don't be bug-eyed.

18) Shifting your eyes back and forth when you speak. That’s very beta. When you’re in a conversation and you’re doing the talking, gaze at the other person’s face. Nonverbally, this communicates that that you say is important and worth listening to.

19) Holding too much eye contact when the other person speaks. Ignore the dating advice books that tell you to hold non-stop eye contact. Non-stop eye contact makes you look needy, socially retarded, and, frankly, like a weirdo. Instead let your eyes blur and then gaze at her eyes. Look through her rather than at her. From extensive testing, I've found that gazing at a woman about two-thirds of the time is optimal. By the way, only hold the gaze when she's telling you something genuinely interesting. Otherwise, focus on
other stuff like her breasts, her hair, things going on around you, etc.

20) Being uncomfortable with your eyes. The bottom line is that your eyes should be comfortable, relaxed, assertive, and sexual.

21) Looking down or to the side before answering a woman’s question. If you do need to look away before answering in order to think, then look up and to the side. Studies have shown that this displays more confidence.

22) Being afraid to touch a woman, and thus being non- touching. Be confident about it when you touch women-- any nervousness at all can be fatal for your relations with her. Be alpha and physically move her when you need to. Hold her hand to lead her around, etc. Be gentle—if you use excessive pressure, you reveal your insecurity. (Since you’re alpha, of course she will follow you, so there’s no need to be anything other than playful and tender.) It's natural to touch others, as when you're emphasizing a point. So let the love flow!

23) Turning your head fast when someone wants your attention. Instead use the movements that you would when you’re at home—slow and relaxed. You’re not at anyone’s beck and call. You’re alpha, remember?

24) Using long, convoluted sentences. Alphas keep it short and to the point. If you’re tempted to use long sentences,

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Ok bro, now can you summarize it

Ur topic doesn't agree wit wat u wrote. Pls change it

nice write up, but the topic should be: Things to Avoid when trying to communicate with ladies

Very correct. All the list defines my character, except No. 23. I turn my head very fast when someone call my attention. Can't just control it.

Most important is [Be yourself