whitemosquito:
Shwepps?? Larry brought his brother to nairaland o. Lol.
Following. But I intend to sweeten the fun by pointing out a few things...with ya permission, Sir?

Please, go on, sir.

* * *
Christfab Hospital contradicted the claim that all hospitals, nay, all medical practitioners, still kept faith with Hippocrates’ teachings. No member of staff of the hospital – from the General Medical Director to the officer in charge of perimeter security – pretended to support the claim that medical practice was for everybody. Only a fool believed such nonsense. Medicine, as practised in the modern way, was for the few who could reach beyond their discrimination against spending above the normal. It was for those who had no permissiveness to spare on those who could withhold on giving all that their physical health demanded. Medicine was, in simple English, for the rich.

In an edifice that was as profuse at the announcement of the reasonableness of an access to quality health by only the elite as the intrinsic belief of doctors themselves, this selective healing symbol traded medical privileges. It occupied choice acreage in a part of the city that was proving increasingly elusive to property developers who waved blank cheques.

Nothing, in the hospital’s architectural frame, was guilty of proclivity for deprivation. The edifice itself was an Elizabethan monstrosity, caked in selected places with Roman, marble interferences. The floors, the walls, the ceilings, all these would give the poor the mind that even in paradise, the wealthy and the righteous could get sick, because the stench associated with barely fecund health was still perceptible, undisguised by the free squirt of artificial atmospheric perfumes.It was in this God-given gift to the rich’s physical health that Alhaji Fire-fire was trying to battle his way back to enviable physical health from what a doctor had told him was only an annoying, if ‘armful’, physical irritant. He wanted to show them, with the two arms, of course, how he punched one of the thieves, how he kicked one in the balls, how he gouged out the eyes of one, how he was, in the whole event, not what he actually was: a coward.

Just representing my presence.

mollusco:



Please, go on, sir.

Whitemosquito is a lady, a shrewd one at that.

LarrySun:
Whitemosquito is a lady, a shrewd one at that.

Was I inattentive or was I too drunk?

Thanks for calling my attention to it.

Electricity, as you know, in our end of the country is a mirage. I charge my laptop (except if I want to lie) but I'm currently in the process of writing a story that I promised my best friend. The damned thing (my laptop, that is) only lasts for two hours thirty five minutes.

The meaning of all this 'ejowewe' is that I can only update this story once a day (despite the fact that I've written the whole thing).

G00gle pay 85$ per hour my last pay check was about 8 gran working 100 hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12gran for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do
cashbay20.comONLY
do not include "ONLY"

Big bro, I urge you to continue.

That scene about one child teaching another the song of Small Doctor cracked me up. I can actually picture it in my head. #Ali goes to school, he wears Jesus' sandals to school...#

Keep up the vivid originality, sir.

LarrySun:
Big bro, I urge you to continue.

That scene about one child teaching another the song of Small Doctor cracked me up. I can actually picture it in my head. #Ali goes to school, he wears Jesus' sandals to school...#

Keep up the vivid originality, sir.

Thanks! I'll try my best!

The truth is: my phone is not now being discovered by my lappy, otherwise, I'd have updated. Android!

The moment I collect my Nokia from the engineer (Ponle, you ought to know him), then, I won't have any excuse.

Android!

I 'warred' with it for almost two hours.

I will update later today or tomorrow (at the worst).

Fatalveli:
Wow! This literary piece reeks of perpetual superlativeness. This author is an embodiment of literature. You are indeed Larrysun's colleague...

I truly appreciate your comment.

mollusco:


Thanks! I'll try my best!

The truth is: my phone is not now being discovered by my lappy, otherwise, I'd have updated. Android!

The moment I collect my Nokia from the engineer (Ponle, you ought to know him), then, I won't have any excuse.

Android!

I 'warred' with it for almost two hours.

I will update later today or tomorrow (at the worst).

Yes, I know the guy; he has once unscrewed my Tecno.

You've still got a better edge. Until I collect my laptop from that buffalo, I have resolved to typing my manuscripts with my phone.

Okay, I shall be waiting for that rock to spring forth water, for my grammatical throat is getting parched.

LarrySun:
Phew! In all my life, I've never read so brilliant a work of literature by a Nigerian as this. This is the 'rawest' talent there is.

Damn me to hell if I don't call on those who know literature to view this amazing piece!

Ishilove, Texanomaly, PrettySpicey, OMA4U, Whitemosquito, Royver, Ruffhandu, Simonhabby, Nuges11 and Princesa...please meet the great Mollusco! He's my big brother, we live together...I learn a lot from him. I'm glad he's finally decided to reveal himself here in Nairaland.

To hell with Soyinka, I aim to achieve Mollusco's literary skill. Watch out, sir, you've got a literary adversary in me . You know I've been cautiously tracing your steps since the past four years.

May the Good Lord preserve you for me; we'll stay true to our vows and dazzle the world together.

Dickens must have felt wants of men when he forced Oliver to ask for more! Bro, since you've been keeping your manuscripts well away from my reach, I'm eagerly asking for more here.

I'm here.
Sure I'm going to enjoy this to pieces.

LarrySun:
Yes, I know the guy; he has once unscrewed my Tecno.

You've still got a better edge. Until I collect my laptop from that buffalo, I have resolved to typing my manuscripts with my phone.

Okay, I shall be waiting for that rock to spring forth water, for my grammatical throat is getting parched.

I guess I have to update, today, with my phone too.

Alhaja was beside him. Beside Alhaja was a man who was almost in tears, claiming that he did not actually run away, that he felt the bullet too when Alhaji was shot, that his arm was in a sling even though nobody could see it. Beside Alhaja was Christopher, Alhaji's driver. Adjacent to him was a bench on which were seated four people who were looking at him with disbelieving eyes.

The governor, who was nearest to him, said 'Ahn Ahn!'.

The councillor, beside the governor, was of the mind that he should not be too forward. He thought the I-diot was not only cr-azy, but also st-upid.

Beside the councillor was the special adviser for political affairs: a man who defined 'stupor'. He was drunk twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, three sixty five days a year. A man was not yet born who could outdo, out-drink, and out-misbehave this special adviser.

The special adviser leant beyond the councillor, malodorous of alcohol all the way, to the governor to say:

” Mad man!”

The governor looked at four people: the injured man, the nurse who just came in, the councillor and his special adviser. He was not sure that he was the one who uttered the words, but, Alhaji could have shot anyone who thought otherwise.

” You are a bloody fool,” the governor said. ” I'm not a mad man. You are.”

The special adviser, who was drunk, as usual, thought: ” Drunk! Damned drunk!”

He turned to the fourth man on the bench (a goat if you have ever seen one: so fo-olish-looking was he. Still, he was the governor's personal, no, private assistant).

” Did Oga drink this morning?”

Phew! Typing with a phone can be tiresome! What I have up here took me over thirty minutes.

Oga heard and wondered whether he stank that terribly. He had only taken two shots of what they now called Vodka. The private assistant looked at the adviser and made a mental note: the drunk must make way for Salaudeen. That one was not always too inebriated.

” Of course. He drank water. Two jugs.”

The adviser looked at the private assistant, wondering if the 'goat' was too - let me use the right word - drunk for the job he currently maintained, would the governor die if he was replaced?

Alhaji was not going to be outdone. It was his day. Da-mn the devil, the angels and all the gods, he was the one -the one! - shot.

” Who gave birth to you?” He asked the assistant. ” Your mother?”

Both the governor and the councillor reasoned that Alhaji's brain might have been affected by the bullet that now kept him 'chained' to a mattress in a hospital ward. The assistant, who was directly affected, reasoned that fo-ols were now in surplus in this country.

” My sister!”

The nurse could not help it. Her laughter was heard in the car park.

Alhaji was shocked beyond words. A man who was shot ought to have the right, if not peace of mind, not to be laughed at by his own nurse.

mollusco:
Oga heard and wondered whether he stank that terribly. He had only taken two shots of what they now called Vodka. The private assistant looked at the adviser and made a mental note: the drunk must make way for Salaudeen. That one was not always too inebriated.

” Of course. He drank water. Two jugs.”

The adviser looked at the private assistant, wondering if the 'goat' was too - let me use the right word - drunk for the job he currently maintained, would the governor die if he was replaced?

Alhaji was not going to be outdone. It was his day. Da-mn the devil, the angels and all the gods, he was the one -the one! - shot.

” Who gave birth to you?” He asked the assistant. ” Your mother?”

Both the governor and the councillor reasoned that Alhaji's brain might have been affected by the bullet that now kept him 'chained' to a mattress in a hospital ward. The assistant, who was directly affected, reasoned that fo-ols were now in surplus in this country.

” My sister!”

The nurse could not help it. Her laughter was heard in the car park.

Alhaji was shocked beyond words. A man who was shot ought to have the right, if not peace of mind, not to be laughed at by his own nurse.

I guess I may have to continue this tomorrow when I get a phone that does what one orders it to do.

So infuriating can typing with an android phone get!

Lol! One can only endure. I type my stuff with a phone that is blessed with a terrible battery durability. It stays on for only ten minutes, that's even when it decides to show me some kindness.

Keep up the good work, sir. May your next update be longer.

Alhaja came to her husband’s rescue. She would not condone such misdeed.

“Alhaji,” she said, “try to be reasonable sometimes. Who gives birth to someone if not his or her mother? This, this,” she did not find the correct word. In the nonexistence of that, she used the next phrase that came to her mind, “this piece of garbage would not talk to you anyhow if not that.”

The governor thought, well, the two shots must be having an unreasonable effect. The nurse, he continued in his thinking, only laughed. If she said anything, he must have missed it.

The Special Adviser, who was truly under the influence of alcohol, looked at Alhaja and the nurse, and could not decide who was drunk of the two. He stretched his hand for a bottle that was not there and touched the Private Assistant’s penis. The speed at which the offended man flung the offending hand away was amusing to the governor.

The nurse was no longer benign. She regarded Alhaja with eyes that spoke volume of her malignancy and decided, there and then, that if the woman was ever brought to the hospital for the treatment of brain tumour, she would add urine to her blood. She approached Alhaji with legs that the private assistant assured himself were the kind fathomed by God from the sculpted image of venus, she twisted the hips that he told himself were not much different from those of Marie Antoinette, reached for the drips with hands that he was satisfied could only be found on Brigitte Bardot and looked at the same drips with the eyes of Isabelle Adjani.

“Hmm,” she hmmed. “Let me go and bring your drugs and injection.” She could see that there was nothing left in the plate on the stool beside the bed. Though, if she had asked, she would have learnt that the special adviser emptied that plate. “I can see you’ve eaten.”

Alhaji caught it too late, but, would you not rather trust him? He was brisk with his retort after catching it.

“The drugs only.”

“And, of course, the injection.”

“Bring many, then.” He looked round the room to the limit permitted him by his conditional constraints. He took in the number of the people with him. “Bring six. You will inject the governor too. You will also inject the special adviser. In fact, you will inject everybody.”

More, please. This is particularly too short.

LarrySun:
More, please. This is particularly too short.

Alright, sir. However, that will have to be later in the day. Lappy battery don flat.

mollusco:
This is a work of fiction. The events described are imaginary and the characters are fictitious. They do not represent true events or specific living persons.

All rights reserved o!

Nonsense! Na modify I wan press I come go press quote.

mollusco:


All rights reserved o!

Lol! May plagiarists have AIDS.

LarrySun:
Lol! May plagiarists have AIDS.

Amen!