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Are AA women really scarce? / She Lied To Me She' AA ....and I'm Caught Up In Sex / Still On Marriage And Genotypes AA/AS/ Ss...why?pls Advice (2) (3) (4)
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Relationship Between AA And SS by NLSince: 1:02pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
Hey Guys, I'm in a fix right now. I created this account to seek advice about my current situation. I have seen some very good and some not-so-good advice being dished out here. I really hope I get more of the former. So there's this lady who I'm interested in dating. infact, I was about to ask her out yesterday when one thing led to another and she told me she was SS. Here's a little background to this: 1. I consider myself a good guy. I'm not a player and I can't date you if I don't see us heading to the aisle. I have been in relationships before which have ended but I don't date with the intention of ending it. 2. Because of Number 1, I don't just ask out anyone. I start by being friends and then if I see a future, I'll then take it forward else we mutually friendzone ourselves. I'm different, Bite me. 3. This Lady ticks most of the boxes I think is important. And I actually believe(d) that this would be my Last Bus stop. However, I don't want to get a wife who'll leave me soon. 4. I'm AA I'll be grateful if you guys help me with answers to this: a) Should I go on with this? or should I free her? or go against everything I believe in and break off the relationship once her next crises comes. (OMG, that's brutal. I'm cringing just writing that) b) I know if we have kids, they'll be AS. What chances of survival does she have? at least to get up until 70. She's 25 right now. Searching for a wife is hard. I really don't want to lose a good one (If I don't have to) and start searching again. cc: MizmyColi, Kachisbarbie, Xiadnat, PickaBeau1, MatthewBriggs 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by buygala(m): 1:04pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
TODAY IS POKE-NOSING DAY DEM NO CALL ME FOR THIS MEETING, BUT NA ME FIRST SHOW *waiting for the above mentioned peeps to come and give the op the desired otapiapia Anyway, as per the op's predicament... Losing the girl to a sickle cell crisis is a possibility, which though farfatched since she is already past 25, is ever present... So can you handle the possible health uncertainties which an SS spouse puts on you? .... Can you comfortably contemplate the possibility of you raising your kids alone, because their mama is dead? But I suppose your unborn kids are safe health-wise. .. They can only be AS and nothing more or less. .. But You will have burdened them with the duty of having to look for an AA spouse when they wish to procreate in the future My advice.... As an AA dude myself who comes from a totally AA family, I would rather not get an AS wifey who will corrupt my Family Bloodline... I would wish my kids to have the same ease of choice in selecting their spouses that I currently enjoy... Call me evil and selfish... But life is already hard enough without deliberately courting totally avoidable health complications 46 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by Osihgen(m): 1:05pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
For her to survive till 25, she can live very long, many SS dont live upto 25 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by richol(m): 1:06pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
pray to GOD....cos ive seen cases that the aa marrying ss nd all the children are ss 1 Like |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by CrazyScientist: 1:08pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
Eleyi gidi Gan!!!! 4 Likes |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by sinaj(f): 1:11pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
i undastnd ow u feel but... u jux av to b optimistic 2 Likes |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by donephi(m): 1:14pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
This is a lot complicated than u think. Do not allow ur emotions lead u into what u might regret. Do not just consider urself, ur kids too. What happens when she gives birth n still nursing, her crises starts, what happens to the kid. Brother pls take calculated risk |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by whizqueen(f): 1:20pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
If you think her wifey-material is large enough to sew your dress marry her But before then make sure you have the answers to the following *how often does she have health problems. I mean the usual crises. *how long does this crises last *are you financially buoyant to help her with her health issues cos you will definitely have to assist in getting some drugs. *do you have the time to sleep over at the hospital with her *do you think you really love this girl because watever you do to her might one way or the other affect her remaining time on earth postively or negatively. Ayam coming lemmie charge my fone 34 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by zyzxx(m): 1:28pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
It requires a lot of sacrifices Can U? 1 Like |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by Vyolet(f): 1:38pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
If you do not love her enough to sacrifice for her then do not go into the marriage. There are many good girls around who are healthy with less health and financial burdens. Take your time and choose one. Try to avoid stories that touch in the long run. In another dimension,you can go ahead with a block mind that whatever happens is what is meant to be. If she lives to be the mother of your kids,fine and if she doesn't,you will atleast be glad you married who please your heart and no regrets. On a lighter note,Life itself is a risk,whether AA or SS,whoever will live long will live long. The very healthy man or woman might die as a result of one thing or the other. 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by Starie(f): 1:54pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
richol: Den der have been a cheating sum where! They were supposed to have only AS children. No AA no SS... @ Confee; I will advice u meet a doctor and a councillor for counselling. As for me, if u truly love her den marry her but note that it won't be an easy one! 4 Likes |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by richol(m): 2:01pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
Starie:dats a lie...........science is not always correct........dats the point im trying to make 1 Like |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by MizMyColi(f): 2:36pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
NLSince: This choice remains largely yours to make. An SS woman who has a child that is approaching 20 and another child just left my office. I understand your fears and I do not judge you at all. I don't know much about SS people but I know that it gets easier after a certain age. OP, if I were in your shoes I will marry her. I'd do a little more research on how to handle her crises, become resolute and marry her. I will not marry her out of pity, no. I will not marry her out of desperation, no. The Emboldened and Reddened Answers Your Question. There are no immediate risks, your children won't have to suffer because of the choice you made. People have towed the same path, while it is not all that have been success stories, there are actually success stories. What is wrong in believing and actually hoping for the best. When it is plausible, let us try to always practice selfless love. Its gains are eternal. I don't believe in coincidences, everything happens as a small part in the grand scheme of things. If you've met a dozen women in your lifetime and this is the one person you are pretty much positive about, while it remains largely unconventional, I would that you sit yourself down, take sometime off and meditate. Call up the life giving spirit within you, the one that gives you understanding, the one that has led you to this stage of your life. Pray how you know best to. ["If she is mine, let every fear be dispelled and let resources manifest; if she isn't - cause us to separate peacefully and connect us with our partners, people who'll bring us peace of mind and happiness"] I will not spoon feed you, even though I personally do not see a biggie, save for some unfounded fact that she might die tomorrow (besides, everybody dies; Aunt Shey is an SS in her late forties and is alive, has two kids, runs a fashion shop, drives a car......Sister Amy (28) on the other hand is very healthy, was very healthy actually, she died 2nd january this year. These two persons are/were close to me in varying ways. Wisdom and understanding remains largely profitable to guide your path OP. For someone or something whom you are sure is worth it, it becomes a risk in itself not to take the risk of being with that person for as long as it takes. Peace 81 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by MizMyColi(f): 2:39pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
@Pickabeau1 The OP called you |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by Nobody: 2:53pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
NLSince: I don't really see an issue with genotype AA marrying SS. If you draw a punette square (a pedigree), you can only produce AS offsprings. AS is a carrier state, and as such will only be a milder form of sickling. She has a very good chance of living a long productive life if she can take care of herself properly; do all the things recommended for sickle cell individuals. I am sure she is aware of them by now hopefully. Why give up on love, go for it. Better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all. Life's too short. *modified*: only you can answer this question thought; those painful crisis are not a joke and I have seen and treated lots of those. It's emotionally daunting I know. I wish you the best with your decisions. Multiple studies show: median survival age for women homozygous for SS is 58 years old, but some people have lived beyond that. Everyone is different despite what stats say. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11247552 --> for your information. 4 Likes |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by Nobody: 3:06pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
OP WHY DON'T YOU TRY DATING A FOREIGN LADY? THEY DON'T HAVE THIS SICKLE CELL PROBLEMS LIKE MANY NIGERIAN GIRLS #team foreign girls 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by jeeqaa7(m): 3:06pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
Really? |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by Nobody: 3:07pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
Just go on |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by irishCream: 3:08pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by GodMode: 3:09pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
NLSince Its your decision to make not NL's... |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by Henrolla(m): 3:09pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
just chill and don't take it too hard. being SS doesn't mean she's definitely going 2 die any time soon. a girl of her age should have grown past the crises stage of her life. secondly, there's no possibilty of giving birth to someone with SS genotype. it's okay 2 get married with her if u truely love her. |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by tdayof(m): 3:09pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
Hard decision |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by Numerouuuno: 3:10pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
It is very nice to see you are planning your future at this present time, Since you are AA, your children's health can never be worse than AS. I believe your fear is regarding your wife, let me tell you this, She will live long even more than 70 , all she has to do is use her drugs like proguanil and folic acid judiciously, eat vegetables and fruits, and finally drink lots of water. if she can adhere to that, there is no problem. She, you and your kids will live a good life. I have a family member that is SS, she's married with a kid, she rarely falls sick and she's doing fine in all aspects, to cap it all, she lives in an area where the winter temperature is -35 degrees. Our family doctor is an SS too,aged 50. I have seen and i know lots of people that are SS and they are okay.I can say very little here since its a public forum. sincerely, go ahead and marry her since she meet all your pre-requisites, you guys will be fine. she just has to do the things listed above. And finally, pray!! SS is just an health condition not a death sentence. 20 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by LewisO: 3:10pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
At worst, each of your children will inherit the Sickle cell gene, and be carriers- there is a 50% chance of this happening with each child. They cannot develop the full disease, as this would require inheriting another "S"gene from you, which is impossible. So your options are - 1. You have children, and accept the 50% risk that they will be carriers, and not sick, similar to your girlfriend. 2. You have children and have them tested early in the pregnancy for the" S" gene, and abort the foetus. This is a drastic step considering that they will lead a relatively normal life, no matter what the outcome. 3. You could adopt. 4. Get a new girlfriend. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by nairalandbuzz(m): 3:11pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
OP, The primary thing here is Love. If you TRULY love her while she too is reciprocating wella and not the normal Nigerian love that people shout here and there, please proceed with her. Being SS is not a disease. Fine there are times of Crises but there is an organisation out there that is called MTN SS Foundation. Go to general Hospital gbagada and you will see them giving them their medications free of charge. and to know the correct dosage, i would advice her to do to SS Foundation in front of LUTH Idi-Ara and do some tests. If she does that and takes her medication with prayers. She will run a full year and more without any crises... I am talking from experience and I am not SS mind you. But be ready to take everything that comes your way when she is sick. Be ready to measure her weigh + temperature everyday on a chart and never to miss her medication. You will be surprised to see her living up to 60 Years. There is God o... and He still work wonders. Take your time in making your decision and I bet you will make a good one. Your supposed children will be AS and they will be advised not to marry AS or any SS... There is even a test you can take to know the blood group of the foetus in the case if they are AS + AS to avoid giving birth to SS and do the needful.. My guy, no cause for alarm... Ride on. All is well. 2 Likes |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by Nobody: 3:11pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
This is difficult one. I don't see any problem with an AA marrying a SS. Not like I know much 'bout how it works but from what I heard, the worse case in your off-spring(s) would be AS. You just have to learn to manage her. For her to live this long - I wanna believe/hope her survival instinct is high. Never give up on the one you love, especially in a situation like this where there is hope. Your kids are definitely not entirely gonna suffer from this decision. Please love that lady - she ain't less human/wife material. The Lord is your strength. 6 Likes |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by Blackchampion(m): 3:11pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
OP! all i can say to u is dat u should not let ur emotions make u regret any decision u will make from this. If i am in ur position i wud move on and try 4get abt her. #IMO 2 Likes |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by CACACTION: 3:12pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
richol:Lies...how can u integrate your cliam |
Re: Relationship Between AA And SS by OgaTheTop2: 3:13pm On Mar 02, 2015 |
Prayer conquers all. Prayer and faith is the answer.. |
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