Was This Unforgivable? - Family - Nairaland
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REAL STORY: 'my Husband's Deception Led Me To Commit An Unforgivable Sin' (2) (3) (4)
| Was This Unforgivable? by elsie2(f): 12:28am On Jan 13, 2009 |
Hi Guys  A friend invited me for his daughter's christening last week. I agreed to attend but unfortunately, on the day of the party, i got a call saying that my Aunty had died. I was devastated and didn't attend the party. I didn't feel up to interacting with people for a few days. I called a week later, apologised and explained why i had failed to attend. I also sent an email to him. I got the cold shoulder. He now refuses to speak to me. I feel bad. Was failing to attend and phone for a week an unforgivable social sin? Have you got similar experiences? Lets share it. |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by Sissy3(f): 1:09am On Jan 13, 2009 |
it isnt ur fault u lost someone close 2 u, he should be even more sympathetic towards u. |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by mohawkchic(f): 3:13am On Jan 13, 2009 |
~Never cease to amaze me what gives people the hump! Like seriously someone died!! If he cared that much,why didnt he call to check why you didnt attend!!? Dont beat yourself up about it!! Unless you're used to  making excuses & not attending his occassions when invited ,i dont see why you should be getting the cold shoulder! Could be he doesnt belive your reason is genuine but hey you dont have to burst a vein trying to make him understand that!~Anywho the only person i can think of who usually have the hump if i dont atend her Events is an acquintance turned mate!! Jeez that lady can moan if you dont show up on her many occassions she hosts each year,Phew . .am talking Birthdays ~ {Adults & Kids }Naming Ceremony, Christening {all 3 kids} Wedding Anniversary,Church Services on Sundays . . . -She gives me grief even after calling before the event w/ my excuses!! I expect her to understand,as a mum there's always the odd fever,child feeling poorly,Other plans or me just wanting a quite day/night in . . . She does take it personal sometimes ! -Before she invites me to yet another event,she'll be sure to moan about how i didnt attend the last occassion or threaten the day i invite her to an occassion she wont attend!! As If!! . . . argh! She just doesnt invite you either,she expects you to make food for the event,i regret the day my Pasta Salad & Grilled Salmon was a hit at one of her parties . . now every party she hosts, she wants it,even after giving her the recipe,she'll still insist  I cant be arsked most times,too much hassle . . .I end up going to the Event knackered so i do opt out of her occassions sometimes,i call . . . .make my excuses, & dont give it a second thought! Altho Taking the gifts round hers is a good way to make up for not attending!  ~ Sometimes people expect so much,they tend to forget In Life,there are those Unexpected Circumstances that happens to the Best Laid Plans!! SoOo Cheer Up! He'll come around! If he doesnt,his friendship's not worth you worrying over IMO! |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by spoilt(f): 4:55am On Jan 13, 2009 |
You've politely made your excuses. Let him deal with it.  |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by elsie2(f): 7:41am On Jan 13, 2009 |
Phew! Thanks Guys, am a bit relieved. It was really strange. I thought about it a lot and was a bit baffled, thats why i decided to seek alternative views. I am one of those people that like to be alone when am sad or grieving. When my Sis called to tell me the bad news she wanted to keep me on the phone talking b/c she said i was on my own at home, but i told her, " i have to be alone to come to terms with the news, " @Mohawkchic, hey! stop making me laugh!  Anyway, i hadn't done it b/4 and it was actually the first time he had invited me for a function. But ur acquaintance/mate gist reminds me of a pet hate of mine, people who plan parties without sufficient resources and then insist on "taxing" (no other word for it) their guests. No be by force to hold party! or try hold the one u fit afford. Which one is this new one of " hey Elsie am inviting u to my birthday on Sat and by the way, i have u down as coming with the Rice and Chicken, shuohhh  ?  |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by babsongudus: 8:16am On Jan 13, 2009 |
@ poster why worry? |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by mohawkchic(f): 7:25pm On Jan 13, 2009 |
elsie2: ~Aaaw at least you laffed!!Hope you's feeling a lot better now!! ~Truth be told,she doesnt "Tax" me in any way, Even when i offer to do the food,she'll usually ask for a list & buy everything you need to do the Food,i just hate that she Impose!!~LMAO . . Noow thats Cheeky! An automatic "No can Do" Response works!! !! |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by TOYOSI20(f): 4:54am On Jan 14, 2009 |
elsie2: ~Sighs~ There really shouldn't be ant reason for ur friend not to forgive u, u have a genuine reason, u called to informed him, and then apologised too, Don't think u need to feel bad at all, except there really is more to the whole story, otherwise i say he needs to get over himself!!!! |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by LIMUEL(m): 7:58am On Jan 14, 2009 |
There is more to this than meet the eyes. You guys need to talk I feel this last episode just overdrew your friendship account My sympathy though |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by spikedcylinder: 8:51am On Jan 14, 2009 |
You should be the one pissed that he hasn't sent his condolence message! |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by ifyalways(f): 10:52am On Jan 14, 2009 |
spikedcylinder:exactly |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by iice(f): 2:55pm On Jan 14, 2009 |
spikedcylinder: Abi ooo |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by meexteriox(m): 4:26pm On Jan 14, 2009 |
My sister, you really have strenght to harbour things like this. Your friend has just exposed herself, you should be grateful for that. Cut off from her, fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by MaiSuya(m): 9:31pm On Jan 14, 2009 |
@poster, will you be happy if the same treatment was meted to you? Since you accepted to attend, I think you should have made more effort to contact him as soon as it was clear you wont be able to attend. |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by elsie2(f): 6:37am On Jan 18, 2009 |
@ mai suya i agree. Of course its annoying when a guest fails to turn up. i would have felt slighted but not held on to the annoyance for so long!. Same thing has happened to me in the past and i usually forgive and forget after giving vent to my feelings. @ meexteriox, ifyalways, spikecylinder, TOYOSI20, u guys are sooooooooooo right. Cheers. |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by Sapphic: 7:38am On Jan 18, 2009 |
@ Topic, I usually hold grudges when someone stands me up or fails to turn up (on those rare occasions that this actually does happen), but draw the line when a person or their close family member has been in an accident, or someone close has died. These are things they had no control over. So, I do think your mate is being unreasonable. Ignore him for a while. When he comes to his senses, he will come around (unless he knows that you do habitually tell such tales on a regular basis. And you do know what they say about the boy who cried wolf. ). |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by C2H5OH(f): 7:39am On Jan 18, 2009 |
Sapphic what sort of grudges do you hold? How did you handle the situation? Someone just did that to me today and I pretended it was fine, but to be honest ko tan ninu mi. I need to find a way to get said person back. |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by Sapphic: 8:08am On Jan 18, 2009 |
C2H5OH: LOL. . .You do not want to know how many guys (in those days) that I dated and just dumped because they turned up unbearably late or did not show for some flimsy excuse or the other (I agree that I lack maturity when it comes to these things, but that's just me). The reason has to be damn good. My motto was if you are not calling from hospital or nobody died, just don't waste your time with the stupid excuses (OK, maybe not that extreme, but close). There was this time an ex really pissed me off by cancelling on me at the last minute (no emergency o), I held my tongue and pretended that I was not bothered. I arranged to meet her at one of my favourite Thai restaurants in North London. She arrived before me, and I called her to tell her that I was running late, but told her that she should order the starters without me. Then I called roughly ten minutes later to tell her that I I was about ten minutes away and told her that I was really famished and could she please place an order for me, so that it would be served around the time I got there (I had her order one of the most expensive meals on the menu). Needless to say that I was not heading that way at all. She was humiliated and was out of pocket over a hundred quid. That taught her not to mess with me in future. (Okay, That was not nice. But I always tell people that things like that pain me to the bone and I am extremely vindictive - I am trying to work on it - NOT). |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by C2H5OH(f): 8:11am On Jan 18, 2009 |
Sapphic, I don't think it is your lack of maturity. More like it is their lack of maturity and initiative. The funny thing is this "thing" did not even bother calling to say da da da just popped up, and I don't think I am going to make it. |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by C2H5OH(f): 8:13am On Jan 18, 2009 |
Haha that was a good one. We are in a way similar. Little things annoy me. |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by Sapphic: 8:27am On Jan 18, 2009 |
C2H5OH: Walahi, this reminds me of back in the day when I was dating this Hausa-Fulani guy called Adamu. An asshole if ever there was one. Rich, good looking and had girls fawning over him. I lived in Lagos and he lived in Maiduguri. The S.O.B. on one occasion was supposed to come into town and we were supposed to go out one night (this was pre-GSM era but we had a Nitel phone that worked wonderfully o). No phone call, nothing (this from a guy that used to frustrate me and other members of my family from the sheer volume of his calls). Your dear mugu was dressed to the nines waiting. 9 o'clock came and went, 10. 11, midnight. The thing that pained me was that there was this other guy I that wanted to take me out that night who I bumped off for this stupid idiot o. I was so very bitter. Next morning the bastard called as if nothing happened (no apologies whatsoever) and did not even mention his faux pas in any way. Neither did I. Sometime later (maybe a fortnight, maybe a month - I cannot exactly remember), he wanted me to be his escort for his uncle's party at Dodan Barracks. I agreed. On the day, he turned up at my house and the other boy I had blown off also turned up (well I had told him to come and take me out) and I just went with the other guy and left him seating there. He was not best pleased (In fact he was incensed). LOL. But that is life. |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by C2H5OH(f): 8:42am On Jan 18, 2009 |
Sapphic:Wow It's like you just described what just happened to me. Only difference now is that I have to await that opportunity to get even. First we agreed to go to the mall. At the very last minute the thing later changed it to "let's just hang out because it's my friend's birthday party and I won't have enough time to go with you to the mall". Meanwhile, I could have jejenly stayed over at my humble abode, chilling there enjoying these lavish commodities, enjoying this beautiful big screen TV, watching my sports teams go at it, eating some very good meals. But I chose to ignore all of that, cut my vacation two days short, and instead gave this irresponsible thing the chance to mess up my comfort. Two hours passed and no word whatsoever! |
| Re: Was This Unforgivable? by Sapphic: 8:54am On Jan 18, 2009 |
LOL. Another of my mottos is revenge is a dish best served cold (although sometimes emotions may get the better of me). |
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