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. by Tobilols(f): 3:49am On Mar 19, 2015
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Re: . by Nobody: 3:59am On Mar 19, 2015
Any relationships tat sex is the foundation will not really stay for long...trust ur instincts... If this guy gave u lot of excuses, juz because u dnt wanna sleep with him, Tat is very lame,he is not worth enough for u & besides its only 2months uv been dating and he already acting up like tat.. do not try to fix this Relationship alone coz surely u will end getting hurt...U deserved a better man tat wil go down with u all d way... wink

4 Likes

Re: . by Nobody: 4:20am On Mar 19, 2015
You don't have to end it. Just give him space and some time. He'll surely come back to you. The s*x thingy could be a big issue tho' but you can always sort it out.
Re: . by kongking699: 4:31am On Mar 19, 2015
"Any relationships tat sex is the foundation will not really stay for long"
I agree with Kashy, very well said.
Every girl should be treated like a princess.
You're a Christian and you know what's right and wrong, and if you think it's now working anymore, so for what reason should you continue that relation?
Re: . by Cutehector(m): 4:50am On Mar 19, 2015
U want to marry sumbody and u dnt wana live wit him to knw who he really is because of ur christain beliefs ryt? Is it not ur body? Go in dr and tel him see am not in for d sex thing and if u can't wait till our weddin nyt den am sory I wil hav to teminate our rship! For once take charge! If he doesn't like it den he is not d right man for u. Thr is nothn like I love himm so much I dnt wana lose him. Dats crap. If u say dat den u wil be doin things below ur standards just to please someone and at d end, u r only gona be hurtn urself

6 Likes

Re: . by Tallesty1(m): 4:53am On Mar 19, 2015
A two months old relationship and you expect him to carry you along in everything?? As who?

You gotta be kidding me.


Guys are not mumu again nah, we don't talk until we are sure of who we are talking to.

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Re: . by Nobody: 5:01am On Mar 19, 2015
You are kidding me, you want to know everything. His in and out just 2months?
He is still trying to know you.

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Re: . by MikeWill: 5:23am On Mar 19, 2015
Give him time and space to trust his word with you. show him you care about him in other ways by checking on him from time to time. he will learn to trust you if he really cares about you. as for the sex part i believe you guy can talk about it and work things out but i disagree with the fact that people who dont have sex before marriage relationships last. dont qoute me wrong just my 2 cent. be safe

1 Like

Re: . by Zi: 5:48am On Mar 19, 2015
Lol. Just exactly what I'm passing through now, although my relationship is older by one month grin

OP, I understand what you are going through, trust your instincts just like me. Every lady no matter how born-again has an emotional part and her man should fill it. If you feel he is not satisfying your emotions, "that he is not there", take a break. Don't try too hard, don't force it. if he is yours, he will come back for you. If he is not, trust me, someone better is on the way.

Don't compromise your virginity. I have no regrets. My older friends/mentors have no regrets too. Maybe he is taking advantage of your naivety so that you will succumb to him.

I am advising you based on my own experience.
The Lord is our strength smiley

2 Likes

Re: . by soopamom: 5:51am On Mar 19, 2015
I dont see where he /you talked about sex. Sleeping over does not automatically equal sex unless you dont know yourself. my husband does that a lot, but i am like Sherlock Holmes. i snoop. because in this case, My husband doesn't deliberately keep the info from me, it just happens. when he remembers to tell me like one month later, i already know. he trusts me and my snooping is not a problem to him because it has saved him a lot of stress and embarrassment.
Re: . by Tobilols(f): 6:05am On Mar 19, 2015
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Re: . by sinaj(f): 6:12am On Mar 19, 2015
:oav had a similar xperience
Re: . by Tobilols(f): 6:12am On Mar 19, 2015
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1 Like

Re: . by Nobody: 6:13am On Mar 19, 2015
See how Christian parents lead their children astray?

1 Like

Re: . by Tobilols(f): 6:18am On Mar 19, 2015
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2 Likes

Re: . by Tobilols(f): 6:20am On Mar 19, 2015
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Re: . by Paulpaulpaul(m): 6:31am On Mar 19, 2015
Tobilols:

Oh really? Is that the reason why he also lied about his age. That's a lame excuse. He saw my age written somewhere and he decided to lie about his. I found out like two weeks later that we are age mates tho I am OK with his age.

Age? Guys doctor age now to cope with the high level of unemployment and age limit. If you can't trust him dump him and pm me. Always here for you.

You can tell your parents to see me in dreams too. Hahahahahahaha
Re: . by Tobilols(f): 6:47am On Mar 19, 2015
Paulpaulpaul:


Age? Guys doctor age now to cope with the high level of unemployment and age limit. If you can't trust him dump him and pm me. Always here for you.

You can tell your parents to see me in dreams too. Hahahahahahaha
He is not a doctor grin
Re: . by pretydiva(f): 6:50am On Mar 19, 2015
Cutehector:
U want to marry sumbody and u dnt wana live wit him to knw who he really is because of ur christain beliefs ryt? Is it not ur body? Go in dr and tel him see am not in for d sex thing and if u can't wait till our weddin nyt den am sory I wil hav to teminate our rship! For once take charge! If he doesn't like it den he is not d right man for u. Thr is nothn like I love himm so much I dnt wana lose him. Dats crap. If u say dat den u wil be doin things below ur standards just to please someone and at d end, u r only gona be hurtn urself
u jst killed it. I agree wit u 100%. Any guy who demand in a relationship wen he hasn't paid ur bride price is not worth it. A broken relationship is more beta than a broken home. D choice is urs sist

2 Likes

Re: . by justmag(m): 6:53am On Mar 19, 2015
If he is asking you to spend a night at his place and you refuse to then that says alot. You can always spend the night with him without sex. He may ask for it and you can respectful decline. In essence, i am saying he is making a legitimate request and if you can't keep up then leave. It seems you are two different people.

secondly, you have just know each other for two months. Are you dating or are you in a relationship Ask your self that! D the anwser will decide if you are entitled to certain details of his personal life.
Re: . by lecturerdabo(m): 6:57am On Mar 19, 2015
Tobilols:

Someone thats already talking of our future together and he couldn't tell me he got transfered. I brought up the issue of work, then he told me about d transfer. He shouldn't av told me if he is still trying to know me.

He told U, u did not find out urself abi? Maybe he forgot really!

Tobilols:

Oh really? Is that the reason why he also lied about his age. That's a lame excuse. He saw my age written somewhere and he decided to lie about his. I found out like two weeks later that we are age mates tho I am OK with his age.

Well now that u found out his age, has it helped u in anyway? Now his ego is wounded?

soopamom:
I dont see where he /you talked about sex. Sleeping over does not automatically equal sex unless you dont know yourself. my husband does that a lot, but i am like Sherlock Holmes. i snoop. because in this case, My husband doesn't deliberately keep the info from me, it just happens. when he remembers to tell me like one month later, i already know. he trusts me and my snooping is not a problem to him because it has saved him a lot of stress and embarrassment.

I'm finding difficult to understand what u mean by sleeping over does not ....! If I may ask, are they angels or the guy is castrated?

Pls op snooping around him is a no no way! cos its a big time relationship breaker

also 2 months is not long enough to get a man to tell u everything going in his life cos its not easy adjusting from single to partnership!

But now that u are already harping on these points which somehow shows ur lack of trust, I will suggest u tak a break! Whatever u do.

ur virginity is priceless! dont throw it away!!!
Re: . by Tobilols(f): 6:58am On Mar 19, 2015
Cutehector:
U want to marry sumbody and u dnt wana live wit him to knw who he really is because of ur christain beliefs ryt? Is it not ur body? Go in dr and tel him see am not in for d sex thing and if u can't wait till our weddin nyt den am sory I wil hav to teminate our rship! For once take charge! If he doesn't like it den he is not d right man for u. Thr is nothn like I love himm so much I dnt wana lose him. Dats crap. If u say dat den u wil be doin things below ur standards just to please someone and at d end, u r only gona be hurtn urself
I will do just that, thanks
Re: . by faradexs09(m): 7:00am On Mar 19, 2015
Tobilols:
I have been dating him for about two months now. I have not been in a relationship for about five years, but I decided to give this relationship a try hoping it will lead to marriage. At first he seems caring and all but I noticed recently that he hardly tells me what happens in his life. I talked to him about this but his response was that I don't expect him to always tell me what always happen in his life but he said will change and that if I was living with him I will know these things. He expects him to always spend the night at his place seems we are always busy at work during the day and I refused due to my Christian beliefs. Recently, he got transfered to another branch at work but he didn't tell until almost a week later even though we talk and chat everyday. I was so weak and hurt. His excuse was that he has been so busy and preoccupied some of which were a naming ceremony with after party and wedding ceremony in another state, SMH.
My parents told me individually that they have prayed about him and he is the man God has chosen for me though they have not met him yet. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone that does not carry me along with the things that happen in his life.
I suspect he behaves this way because I don't spend the night at his place and don't want to have sex until I am married.
I love him but I don't thinks he does anymore. There is no point staying in this relationship.
Your advises please.
first u say he shouldnt tell u abt things in his life, who else will he share it with?, now he moves to another branch keeping mute, it hurts, uhm I guess he feels since what happen in his life is less impt to u, wc should be, he decides to take things solo, dnt be in such a rush to quit a relationship, 2mths for dt matter,if u love each other, all ur relationship need is a deep talk, defining the rules, know what he wants, layout ur mind too, if u feel all he does is geered up toward having sex with him, tell him why u prefer to wait nd if he really loves u he wud wait...just stop goin negative over things.Dentist live life large I suppose, a lil smile can do wonders too.
Re: . by MizMyColi(f): 7:00am On Mar 19, 2015
@Tibilols
God has spoken to your parents.....
What has God spoken to you?

At Tallesty1.....I think you misunderstand her.

A guy that is straight forward is straight forward....this is not a matter of her wanting to know it all in a whiff.

I imagine you and I are close friends or even as we are now and I get a transfer.
In fact, NL will know.

The sex could be an issue too.

OP, I advise that you give him space....
Stop pressuring him and stop pressuring yourself.
Don't act rashly....
Remain courteous.

Perhaps you feel age is no longer on your side....

The call is yours to make....
Don't give up on him just yet......
But take some steps back.
It requires mental strength to do so.

I hope you are taking care not to come off as desperate.

Wisdom has never stopped being profitable to direct.

4 Likes

Re: . by Brugo(m): 7:04am On Mar 19, 2015
Chai. You are not a wife yet and you're stifling the young man like this. Let him breathe, biko!

Why should he tell you everything? Can you handle everything? If a man doesn't give you a particular information then he knows you don't need it.

He didn't tell you about his true age because he guessed what your opinion about dating age mates would be, regardless of the lofty statement you just gave us. Why must you know every detail?

Well, you have even said there's no point in staying. Oya na. Leave him alone. Give him some breathing space.

You'd better be grateful for a man like him who doesn't go about spilling his guts and depending on a lover's opinion two months into a relationship.

1 Like

Re: . by sluvy4tune(m): 7:14am On Mar 19, 2015
lecturerdabo:




He told U, u did not find out urself abi? Maybe he forgot really!



Well now that u found out his age, has it helped u in anyway? Now his ego is wounded?



I'm finding difficult to understand what u mean by sleeping over does not ....! If I may ask, are they angels or the guy is castrated?

Pls op snooping around him is a no no way! cos its a big time relationship breaker

also 2 months is not long enough to get a man to tell u everything going in his life cos its not easy adjusting from single to partnership!

But now that u are already harping on these points which somehow shows ur lack of trust, I will suggest u tak a break! Whatever u do.

ur virginity is priceless! dont throw it away!!!




The Op never said she was a virgin

She said she has been out of relationship for about 5years & decided to give this a try

Chances are that the No sex Policy could be as a result of her last relationship experience.

Op just give this guy some time, 2months is nor long enuf to trust someone fully, besides most ladies this days from the onset ask guys to defined whatever relationship they want to have with them

The Brother needs to know you as well.

From my personal experience , if I were to used how much I & my ex loved each other & can discuss and confide in each other as a criteria I would have been married to the wrong person by now, There was a big difference between the lady who Comes to me in eatery, Breeze in & breeze out of my house, than the lady Who spend a week in my place.

That One Week defined the whole relationship & it was obvious compatibility was an issue

Goodluck in your decision
Re: . by happyjuliet(f): 7:21am On Mar 19, 2015
It seems as if U have already made ur decision gf...So move on.
Re: . by jnrbayano(m): 7:32am On Mar 19, 2015
Just 2 month on and this much anxiety? is it because your parents told you he's the one for you?

Dear, every man is different. Some are very open from the world go and some aren't. That shouldn't be a bother at least in the first 2 months, if he doesn't care about you at all, that should.

And if he hasn't told you his not-being-very-open attitude is due to your refusal to spend the night with him, don't conclude for him.

I would advise that you be patient with him. Allow him time to get to terms with this new relationship. He will trust you more if you do.

..And If you succumb to his demand to spend the night with him, also get prepared for anything that will come out of it.
Re: . by temmym4(m): 8:07am On Mar 19, 2015
Sis, no offence but whats your stress? You want a perfect relationship of your own will but you never took any step into working for it. I guess you want to steal a man that another lady has perfected abi.
We all grew up from different places abd raised by different people, u wont xpect every Man having the same interest as yours. You need intelligently tell him about what u feel he needs to do so as to strengthen the bond between both of you and be ready to bend to some of his own interest as well so u can both be happy. It doesn't just have to be all about you, he is human too.
I dont know your reasons for being single for 5years and that is none of my concern, but 5yrs added to your age is a big deal. We both know women age quickly and faster. I believe you are in your 30s now before your parents could start praying for you for the right man, you waited 5yrs before getting a date and just because he isnt the too perfect yet in just 2months, U want to drop him, good girl. Wait another 5yrs again. add that to your current age and see for yourself.
Rome wasnt built in a day, perfect union takes time and patience. Even those ones u see as a perfect relationship have their own little flaws that they manage privately.
This is how ladies end up being a spinster till their old age. Keep listening to your friends telling you to drop your own man when they enjoy their own relationships.
Re: . by Nobody: 8:11am On Mar 19, 2015
Cutehector:
U want to marry sumbody and u dnt wana live wit him to knw who he really is because of ur christain beliefs ryt? Is it not ur body? Go in dr and tel him see am not in for d sex thing and if u can't wait till our weddin nyt den am sory I wil hav to teminate our rship! For once take charge! If he doesn't like it den he is not d right man for u. Thr is nothn like I love himm so much I dnt wana lose him. Dats crap. If u say dat den u wil be doin things below ur standards just to please someone and at d end, u r only gona be hurtn urself
Gbam!
Re: . by Montaque(m): 8:11am On Mar 19, 2015
Tobilols:
I have been dating him for about two months now. I have not been in a relationship for about five years, but I decided to give this relationship a try hoping it will lead to marriage. At first he seems caring and all but I noticed recently that he hardly tells me what happens in his life. I talked to him about this but his response was that I don't expect him to always tell me what always happen in his life but he said will change and that if I was living with him I will know these things. He expects him to always spend the night at his place seems we are always busy at work during the day and I refused due to my Christian beliefs. Recently, he got transfered to another branch at work but he didn't tell until almost a week later even though we talk and chat everyday. I was so weak and hurt. His excuse was that he has been so busy and preoccupied some of which were a naming ceremony with after party and wedding ceremony in another state, SMH.
My parents told me individually that they have prayed about him and he is the man God has chosen for me though they have not met him yet. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone that does not carry me along with the things that happen in his life.
I suspect he behaves this way because I don't spend the night at his place and don't want to have sex until I am married.
I love him but I don't thinks he does anymore. There is no point staying in this relationship.
Your advises please.

Speaking from experience, I think you are on a wrong part in this relationship.
Now,you started out with him with a marriage prospect in mind,even supported by ur parents vision, your expectations are already high as per wifey level. Take it slowly, this man should be your friend FIRST,then ur BEST FRIEND... By this level,this ur present problem would be no issue,cos he would have built his life affairs around you,naturally.
Please stop covertly screaming "marry me" "marry me!!!".
It raises ur expectation prematuedly, puts u in a rush,then u miss things(like u are doing now),then u make mistake(like u are abt to make),
Just make this man ur bestfriend, ok?

1 Like

Re: . by Gentlesly(f): 8:25am On Mar 19, 2015
Things Men Don’t Like
1. Stupid Baggy Dress
I know this really is new to hear but believe
me ladies; it keeps men off your company.....
http://www.naijasly.com/2015/02/things-men-dont-like.html?m=0

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