LACK OF FORESIGHT

Humanly speaking, their is limit to human's knowlege. Many jump into marriage because of what their senses dictate to them. No matter how smart you think you may be, if your spouse is not chosen to by God who knows the end of the begining. So many married because the other is endowed with beauty/handsomeness, good behaviour and so many other thing they feel is right but still, they still could not avoid broken marriage. Then they begin to ask themselves questions like 'what has come over her/him? she/he wasn't like this when we met', 'she was a virgin when we met, so could be the reason for her lusting after someone's else husband?'. I want you to understand that if you are getting marry because those good qaulities, soon or later ur marriage will be 'had i known'. Let the almight God who knows what is proper choose for u.

POOR TRAINING GROUND FOR COURTSHIP

Courtship should be a school for two individuals planing to get marry but rather it has become something else. When you are in courtship, you should be able to correct oneanother and it must yield positive result. The saying that love is blind is true but marriage is the tool that will open it. When some guys sees their girlfriend behaving in a way that on a normal day, they won't accept, then they begin to say 'She will change over time'. And that's where the problem starts. Someone who can't change during your courtship, now you think you will change him/her after marriage? hell no! No wonder husbands reply their wives that 'you saw me like this before you marry me ooo'. My dear brothers and sisters, let courtship be a training ground before marriage and not for other irrelevant things.


TWO OGA AT THE TOP IN MARRIAGES

This goes especially to ladies, in the sky, there is only one moon and many stars. what i'm trying to say is that though your husband should be ur closet friend but you can't be co-equal with your husband. Try and be submissive.

TWO PARALLEL LINES

Some men are gentle and easy going before they get married but when looking for someone to marry, they went ahead marrying some who is 'touch in nature'. No matter how the man tries to cope with the woman, it will still be thesame story. This also happens to cool headed ladies who marry guys that if not in happy mood, she won't be able to say her mind. To my fellows nairalanders sis. and bros., marry someone that as thesame behaviour as u.

#cutebobo._adeniran

Gender equality

true say op.

gud one

deception _______misswhizy

Deception is the major problem .you will think some women are angels until you marry them and she tears you a resounding slap before your eyes clear

I wish the mod. could move it to the front page. though i'm not competing for LIKES but won't mind if i can get 150 likes at least i want someone to learn from my post

i'm learning.

daimsy:
i'm learning.

happy u are

daimsy:
i'm learning.

happy u are, mostly especially from my post

Nigerians always forming 'religious'.

What happened to the issue of sex. I sincerely think sexual frustration is one of them. After all the 'no sex before marriage', they get married and discover shocking issues like the man unable to perform, P.E and many others. Some try as much as possible to tolerate but it soon get the better of them. If I was already married to my present gf, there's every evidence it will crash soon cos she gets tired after a minute. Now that may lead to me cheating and you know the rest.

Harbioollah:
Nigerians always forming 'religious'.

What happened to the issue of sex. I sincerely think sexual frustration is one of them. After all the 'no sex before marriage', they get married and discover shocking issues like the man unable to perform, P.E and many others. Some try as much as possible to tolerate but it soon get the better of them. If I was already married to my present gf, there's every evidence it will crash soon cos she gets tired after a minute. Now that may lead to me cheating and you know the rest.

well said but all ur point still narrow down to my first point. LET GOD CHOOSE FOR YOU if you want ur own partner and happy marriage life

Harbioollah:
Nigerians always forming 'religious'.

What happened to the issue of sex. I sincerely think sexual frustration is one of them. After all the 'no sex before marriage', they get married and discover shocking issues like the man unable to perform, P.E and many others. Some try as much as possible to tolerate but it soon get the better of them. If I was already married to my present gf, there's every evidence it will crash soon cos she gets tired after a minute. Now that may lead to me cheating and you know the rest.

of all the cases of divorce between legally married couples.how many end their marriages expressly on "the one minute stigma" compared to other causes!

cutebobo:
LACK OF FORESIGHT

Humanly speaking, their is limit to human's knowlege. Many jump into marriage because of what their senses dictate to them. No matter how smart you think you may be, if your spouse is not chosen to by God who knows the end of the begining. So many married because the other is endowed with beauty/handsomeness, good behaviour and so many other thing they feel is right but still, they still could not avoid broken marriage. Then they begin to ask themselves questions like 'what has come over her/him? she/he wasn't like this when we met', 'she was a virgin when we met, so could be the reason for her lusting after someone's else husband?'. I want you to understand that if you are getting marry because those good qaulities, soon or later ur marriage will be 'had i known'. Let the almight God who knows what is proper choose for u.

POOR TRAINING GROUND FOR COURTSHIP

Courtship should be a school for two individuals planing to get marry but rather it has become something else. When you are in courtship, you should be able to correct oneanother and it must yield positive result. The saying that love is blind is true but marriage is the tool that will open it. When some guys sees their girlfriend behaving in a way that on a normal day, they won't accept, then they begin to say 'She will change over time'. And that's where the problem starts. Someone who can't change during your courtship, now you think you will change him/her after marriage? hell no! No wonder husbands reply their wives that 'you saw me like this before you marry me ooo'. My dear brothers and sisters, let courtship be a training ground before marriage and not for other irrelevant things.


TWO OGA AT THE TOP IN MARRIAGES

This goes especially to ladies, in the sky, there is only one moon and many stars. what i'm trying to say is that though your husband should be ur closet friend but you can't be co-equal with your husband. Try and be submissive.

TWO PARALLEL LINES

Some men are gentle and easy going before they get married but when looking for someone to marry, they went ahead marrying some who is 'touch in nature'. No matter how the man tries to cope with the woman, it will still be thesame story. This also happens to cool headed ladies who marry guys that if not in happy mood, she won't be able to say her mind. To my fellows nairalanders sis. and bros., marry someone that as thesame behaviour as u.

#cutebobo._adeniran

Personally, I always find that no.1 disgusting. God choosing my spouse for me. WTF! What do I have a head and heart for? For decoration?

hifaif:


Personally, I always find that no.1 disgusting. God choosing my spouse for me. WTF! What do I have a head and heart for? For decoration?

and that's the genesis of ur problem. sorry to say. when elisha and his servant was under attack by many army, elisha's servant was afraid because his physical sense ( his eyes) saw that those army are many but elisha who sees beyond thay said a little prayer 'lord open his eyes to see that those with are more than them'. ( not good at coting ) but when u use ur physical sense to determine ur marriage,i pity ya. i'm not religious but an observant

baralatie:

of all the cases of divorce between legally married couples.how many end their marriages expressly on "the one minute stigma" compared to other causes!

I may be young but I have seen things. The rate at which Nigerians pretend to frown at anything sexual doesn't permit these couples to say it out. Imagine going to your mother-inlaw to complain about these things, you know what they will say. This causes cheating and sexual denial. Go read newspapers on divorce. 4 in 5 of divorce cases have cheating, sex denial in their files.

Harbioollah:


I may be young but I have seen things. The rate at which Nigerians pretend to frown at anything sexual doesn't permit these couples to say it out. Imagine going to your mother-inlaw to complain about these things, you know what they will say. This causes cheating and sexual denial. Go read newspapers on divorce. 4 in 5 of divorce cases have cheating, sex denial in their files.

like I said how many cases do you know!obviously you are limited to newspaper tabloids!
even at that,majority of the cases as open for you to investigate further are mainly
1.the couples were always fighting and hostile(money problem)
2.the women complaining of too much sex demand from the husband(sex exploitation and assault)
3.forced or cajoled union in which the couples are no longer interested
4.deceit
5.infidelity
those are tabloids but the ones that don't make tabloids if I should start from 1 we no go finish

now,the issue you raised about wives who run to their mother to complain about sex from their husband is a big laugh!
a lot of these women courted their husbands for at least one year and they never ever had intimacy before they married(who are they deceiving).babe whey don't disvirgin tey,tey!
now for the woman that said she never had integer course until marriage day and is complaining(Bros HOw SHE TAKE KNOW SAY THE HUSBAND NO

PERFOM)
deception already working
can you see how overblown intimacy is!

now put the issue of money not available when needed, husband not around when needed
abusive relationship,third party interference,childlessness, negating cultures and compare to divorce. cases (sex is not it at all)

Great work by poster.
Of all the reasons, pride/ego kills marriages faster than anything else. Many educated married women in Nigeria today would find it difficult staying married if they suddenly come into more wealth than their husbands. If the man's income is does not significantly affect how they live or take care of their children, it's bye to humility and with it, marriage. For women who will remain married for life, there is only one creed: rich or poor, a man is the head of the home, and the woman is the neck.

you can Quickly check out this article on the First page of http://everydaynigeria.com on relationships issues and their ultimate solutions, I believe it helps.

cutebobo:
well said but all ur point still narrow down to my first point. LET GOD CHOOSE FOR YOU if you want ur own partner and happy marriage life

This is such pointless, vague advice. How are you suppose to know gods choice then. Cause he certainly won't be pointing any finger at anyone for you. You are still gonna go with whatever options you see as best. All this gods choice is just people believing in fairytales that aren't grounded in reality.

I have stopped taking this"Let God Choose For u bullcrap" and no courtship before marriage seriously,the bible says"he who finds a wife not if God selects for u...How do u expect people to marry someone they don't know without courtship or dating n u expect that marriage to work out. Mbamu!!