A true story of mine.
I am presently dating a lady now after so long waiting for someone I can call mine. Now am with this lady, she is 20yrs old, while I will 28 by april.
I like her so much no doubt about that, but the issue is she is still struggling with her admission into the university. Not that she is not sound academically but her dad is not too financially ok for now. She once told me she got admission into schools in uk and her dad said he can't let her be alone at that time. She always say her education is priority to her.
For me, I am presently working though am hoping for a better job cos it's a contract job in a bank, I still plan to write my ACCA after which I can be thinking of settling down.
We love each other, but my other mind sometimes do tell me can you really wait for her.
Pls note I am not under any pressure to get married.
Pls reasonable response pls.

you are still young. Check your pocket first.

Why don't you help her secure admissions by teaching her and preparing for JAMB since you are a university graduate

I really don't see a problem here. Like the poster above me said, help her get ready for JAMB. And except she's studying medine, she's going to be in school for a maximum of 5 years. Also since you are not thinking of settling down now, then there shouldn't be a problem, although nothing stops you from marrying her even if she's in school.

]You can help her secure her admission and then even marry her while she is in school

kennynelcon:
you are still young. Check your pocket first.

Really? 27 is still too young?

If not for unfavourable economic situation the ideal age to marry is 26 to 30 for guys and 19 to 24 for ladies.

@OP, girls do change so much when they enter school so I suggest you keep an open relationship. Establish yourself well without focusing so much on keeping her,

You can make plans to marry her if you love her and think she is the right person for you.
The question is,can you wait for her to finish school? There are some girls who got married while in school(200 or 300 level).Perhaps she could get into school and you marry her along the line.Will you be able to support her financially in school if you make that decision?

Some ladies dey carry belle dey go school from marital house.

Well, its not about whether you can wait but whether she is worth the wait. Girls change in school a lot so why not ask her If you should wait for her. If she is honest she will answer you truthfully.

Wait if u can but don't cheat while waiting pls

ITbomb:

Really? 27 is still too young?

If not for unfavourable economic situation the ideal age to marry is 26 to 30 for guys and 19 to 24 for ladies.

@OP, girls do change so much when they enter school so I suggest you keep an open relationship. Establish yourself well without focusing so much on keeping her,

and where did u do ur survey to get the "objective" suitable age for Marriage? Mtcheeeewww .....

@op My brother, I'm about your age, the only difference is I have a suitable job and very self sufficient . I'm currently looking for a girl around that age grade to start dating so I could use the long time to know her really well and be her true friend, I want a wife that will be a friend, someone we know ourselves very well, I have never been in a hurry. But unfortunately for me i happen to me meeting already "ripe" ladies (that won't even wanna date, they just wanna see d ring and alter) I ain't ready for that.. The younger girls iv met, have been problematic, ( and lo my relationship life; zero)... different strokes for different folks bro...
The short of my story: bro I believe you on the right track..... enjoy ur relationship and make the best outta it..

Bros, we're almost in the same boat - in fact, I think it was your boat that just sped past ours - but the difference is our age margin is smaller than yours, mine is already in medicine, and - most importantly - I'm not in dilemma. So as a person who can relate perfectly with your predicament, here are what you might wanna do.

1. Expect the worst: You have no idea what distance, peer pressure and sheer cravings for adventure will do to madame, when she finally gets the admission.

2. Keep all the heavy promises to yourself: For now, all the "I will never leave you", "I'll marry you before you graduate", "We'll have 4 kids", etc should be silent. You will be shocked at how much life loves to see us miserable.

3. Be very, very logical: As hard as it may sound right now, Bros, love should take a nap, while career and ambition should be at the driver's seat and the passenger's seat, respectively. That way, you will be able to steer away from all the roller coaster, irrational effect emotions bring.

It won't be easy, but I hope we both make it out of the bitter truth that the only good girls in our life right now, are still to experience so much rigours and realities of life. Good luck is what I wish us both.

Honestly, speechless

Extom:
Bros, we're almost in the same boat - in fact, I think it was your boat that just sped past ours - but the difference is our age margin is smaller than yours, mine is already in medicine, and - most importantly - I'm not in dilemma. So as a person who can relate perfectly with your predicament, here are what you might wanna do.

1. Expect the worst: You have no idea what distance, peer pressure and sheer cravings for adventure will do to madame, when she finally gets the admission.

2. Keep all the heavy promises to yourself: For now, all the "I will never leave you", "I'll marry you before you graduate", "We'll have 4 kids", etc should be silent. You will be shocked at how much life loves to see us miserable.

3. Be very, very logical: As hard as it may sound right now, Bros, love should take a nap, while career and ambition should be at the driver's seat and the passenger's seat, respectively. That way, you will be able to steer away from all the roller coaster, irrational effect emotions bring.

It won't be easy, but I hope we both make it out of the bitter truth that the only good girls in our life right now, are still to experience so much rigours and realities of life. Good luck is what I wish us both.

Good post...laughed at no 2....''I will never leave you'''....ok now..

obajoey:
A true story of mine.
I am presently dating a lady now after so long waiting for someone I can call mine. Now am with this lady, she is 20yrs old, while I will 28 by april.
I like her so much no doubt about that, but the issue is she is still struggling with her admission into the university. Not that she is not sound academically but her dad is not too financially ok for now. She once told me she got admission into schools in uk and her dad said he can't let her be alone at that time. She always say her education is priority to her.
For me, I am presently working though am hoping for a better job cos it's a contract job in a bank, I still plan to write my ACCA after which I can be thinking of settling down.
We love each other, but my other mind sometimes do tell me can you really wait for her.
Pls note I am not under any pressure to get married.
Pls reasonable response pls.

Too early.

Let her finish her education first. She also has some maturing to do too.

Like you pointed out, there's no rush.

What happens if you wait 5 yrs and she comes out to say she's no longer interested? You'll be what? 32/33 by then right? Do you think she can come out of school unscathed? Is she worth d risk? Questions you have to ask ya self plus on a side note, don't solely sponsor her education if your not married to her o, to avoid stories that touch

obajoey:
A true story of mine.
I am presently dating a lady now after so long waiting for someone I can call mine. Now am with this lady, she is 20yrs old, while I will 28 by april.
I like her so much no doubt about that, but the issue is she is still struggling with her admission into the university. Not that she is not sound academically but her dad is not too financially ok for now. She once told me she got admission into schools in uk and her dad said he can't let her be alone at that time. She always say her education is priority to her.
For me, I am presently working though am hoping for a better job cos it's a contract job in a bank, I still plan to write my ACCA after which I can be thinking of settling down.
We love each other, but my other mind sometimes do tell me can you really wait for her.
Pls note I am not under any pressure to get married.
Pls reasonable response pls.

Op, there are so many factors that may work against you both with your current status. She's still searching for admission but what's the assurance that she gets into school and still sticks with you? Have you forgotten the tonnes of guys who would try every trick in the book to get your gal bleeped or probably fall in love?

How about you? What tells you that when you do get a better job and walk into higher circles, you won't get attracted to someone else? What tells you that you won't fall headlong for a new employee at your place of work who's also young and attractive and even a graduate?

Mehn!!! The slope is really steep but I think both of you have to keep open minds to your relationship . She's your wildest dream now. Who says she can't be your nightmare tomorrow?

Thank God you said you're in no pressure to get married now. Then relax! Enjoy yourself. Watch the relationship and see how it goes. Try to limit your expectations. That way, you won't be disappointed or feel guilty when funny events come up or when you need to take the leap.

Life ain't just black and white. There's so much hay on the grey side.

That's my small beans, bro.

Thanks so much for this reply. Cos that's what she has always been saying. We must be friends in love.

killerman47:
and where did u do ur survey to get the "objective" suitable age for Marriage? Mtcheeeewww .....

@op My brother, I'm about your age, the only difference is I have a suitable job and very self sufficient . I'm currently looking for a girl around that age grade to start dating so I could use the long time to know her really well and be her true friend, I want a wife that will be a friend, someone we know ourselves very well, I have never been in a hurry. But unfortunately for me i happen to me meeting already "ripe" ladies (that won't even wanna date, they just wanna see d ring and alter) I ain't ready for that.. The younger girls iv met, have been problematic, ( and lo my relationship life; zero)... different strokes for different folks bro...
The short of my story: bro I believe you on the right track..... enjoy ur relationship and make the best outta it..

You can wait,except you don't want to wait..

You can marry her,when she's in 200,or 300 levels..

I dated my fiance,(whom am getting married to some months time), when she was just 19 then,now she's grown to a beautiful lady now 23..

I waited,till she got admission,now she's through.

19 to 24 ? where in the world did you hear that ? many 19 - 24 yr-old girls are still in college , some might even be starting , some are entering the workforce . at that age range , most are probably still trying to find themselves and what they want in life , you're talking marriage .

ITbomb:

Really? 27 is still too young?

If not for unfavourable economic situation the ideal age to marry is 26 to 30 for guys and 19 to 24 for ladies.

@OP, girls do change so much when they enter school so I suggest you keep an open relationship. Establish yourself well without focusing so much on keeping her,

Thanks bro.

Durchmann:


Op, there are so many factors that may work against you both with your current status. She's still searching for admission but what's the assurance that she gets into school and still sticks with you? Have you forgotten the tonnes of guys who would try every trick in the book to get your gal bleeped or probably fall in love?

How about you? What tells you that when you do get a better job and walk into higher circles, you won't get attracted to someone else? What tells you that you won't fall headlong for a new employee at your place of work who's also young and attractive and even a graduate?

Mehn!!! The slope is really steep but I think both of you have to keep open minds to your relationship . She's your wildest dream now. Who says she can't be your nightmare tomorrow?

Thank God you said you're in no pressure to get married now. Then relax! Enjoy yourself. Watch the relationship and see how it goes. Try to limit your expectations. That way, you won't be disappointed or feel guilty when funny events come up or when you need to take the leap.

Life ain't just black and white. There's so much hay on the grey side.

That's my small beans, bro.

op, be realistic, you're at two different life stages n this could pose problems. once she's there things might even change between you two 'cus of her new experiences . just make sure you're on the same page with one another n both want the same end goal. since you're not under pressure to get married then you can wait for her for now n take things easy , see where things go.

She's in uni so don't start paying for stuff and promising things, you will change and she wi change too. If she truly wants you, she will do her best to maintain the relationship.

However, I'm not so crazy about the almost 8 year difference. A lot of men say women age faster, I believe it's how you treat them (if you turn them into mummies and don't encourage them to stay young at heart, they will look older) and the fact that in Nigerian society, a mature woman is seen as one who doesn't smile, carries herself with a lot of gravity and not be so free. I had a ton of 24-27yr old guys chasing me when I was 32. The only way some people started guessing my age was that they started seeing some grey hairs

20s is a time of change for people. Me of 23 is not me of 33 mentally. So she may be your Angel now, but what happens if she grows in a way you don't like.

And I've seen girls who married in uni, girls who married immediately after and I think it's best if you time it during NYSC or after. A very popular director told me he can't marry a girl who hasn't lived by herself or paid her own bills. He's right, I certainly wasn't money-savvy as a 22 yr old. And money is one of the big issues in Marriage. A lot of men aren't very good at being financially prudent, so imagine marrying a girl who has never in her life had to worry about rent or planning meals for a family of 3 on a budget whilst paying NEPA, saving up for emergencies and saving up for retirement and school children.

If you were my bro, I'd recommend doing that ACCA exam now. I'd probably recommend going for a 24 year old who has finished school (but that's my opinion). I'd tell you "it's not how long you date, it's how well" because I'm witness to a divorce of a couple whom started dating in the wife's yr 2 and married 6 years later. And I have seen 6 months after they met each other and married couple stilm be playing BF and GF 11 years later. I know some couples with huge age gaps, some are unhappy but I think the happy ones have one thing in common: supportive and discreet in-laws so there is a form of protection.

Her dad is not financially ready, so who supports you guys when the going gets tough? You and she have to be mentally strong.
I'm not trying to dissuade you, just asking you to see the big picture.

kennynelcon:
you are still young. Check your pocket first.

concentrate on improving yourself and making plenty money first then u ll see she wont be able to wait for you any longer.... !!!!

Find out if she is ready to marry you say in the next one year, if yes, then marry her once you are ready, admission or no admission.

You can always sort yourselves out later. At 28, you are not too young. When she gets to being 22, she isn't too young too.

duduade:
concentrate on improving yourself and making plenty money first then u ll see she wont be able to wait for you any longer.... !!!!

Please mention him

obajoey:
Thanks bro.

You're welcome...

Yes you can, and you will IJN! Don't just use her and dump her. If you love her, she loves and it's God's will don't bring human permutation into it. There are many young people who die earlier than older people, so that argument the older will die and abandon the younger, is rubbish. There are even older men who perform s*xually better than some younger men, therefore age plays no role in s*x. What matters is the level of mental maturity in her and you, love, and financial stability. You can also marry her and delay childbirth till she gets her first degree (many people did that).

In all God has the final say, not Nairalanders.

SagePerv:
Get a good job first.

that is all