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Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? - Family - Nairaland

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My Neighbour Is About To Kill His Wife!! Please Advice. (urgent) / What Would You Do In This Situation? / Did I Do The Right Thing In This Situation?? (2) (3) (4)

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Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by CreativeWeb(m): 1:09pm On Mar 23, 2015
There is a case on my table right now. The only son of a member of our church. The woman is a farmer and industrious. The husband is old and blind. She managed to raise some money through farming to start a cement business for her son. She is under burden of taking care of her blind husband and farming to get what they will eat. And so, she raised some money to start this cement business for the son so that he can help to cushion the financial difficulties of the family.

However, the son is a wayward son. He squandered the money with his girl friend. A lady that is even older than him. In the course of their friendship, the lady got pregnant and the boy having finished the cement business money and the business having collapsed, he ran away and switched off his phone. The lady traced his house in the village through his friends and came to report to whomever that cares to listen that she is pregnant for their son. And so, she met the boy's mother. After explaining that she was looking for her son who is responsible for her pregnancy, the mother advised her to go and start looking for her son who is responsible so that they will discuss what to do next. In other words, she advised her to go and finish what they started. The lady told the boy's mother that she is a graduate and that she will make a good wife. The boy's mother who is not educated, but has common sense, told the lady that she is an educated illiterate. She asked her, "How can an educated lady like you open her laps for a man to impregnate her? Have you not acted like a secondary school girl?"

The lady left in anger and disgrace. She carried the baby for nine months and was put to bed. He later got the information of the whereabouts of her former boy friend and the father of her baby. She invited him with assurance that all is well.

He came and was arrested by the police with a strong allegation that he raped the niece of his former girl friend who is 4 years old. They backed the allegation with a doctor's report that the young girl was indeed raped and she sustained some injuries in the process.
The boy was charged to court and is now an inmate at Nigerian Prison, Enugu. His file could not be found. Nobody is aware of how he was tried and sentenced.

The lady called the boy's mother few weeks ago telling her that her son will die and rot in the prison. The boy has been there since last year.

Last week, the woman carried a bag of garri and 10 litres of palm oil with 5000 Naira to go and beg the lady. The lady accepted the gifts and asked her to go that she will try to help. But the lady called her few hours after leaving her place never to come to her house again.

This woman has no connection. No money. She doesn't even know how to go about the case.
All she does is coming to the church every day lying in front of the altar praying and crying.

I approached her last week to really know what the burden of her heart is? And she told me this story.
I prayed for her and asked God to help her.

However, I am thinking that I should do more than that. I want to call few lawyer friends for advice.

Dear friends, what should I do in this situation to help this woman?
Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by breathless(m): 1:30pm On Mar 23, 2015
You may after consulting your lawyer friends ask the woman to write a petition the state attorney-general seeking for a retrial. Did her son get a legal representative during the trial? If he did, who was he? In which court was he tried?
And for the lady in question, invite over for a meeting. Ask her how she feels knowing she's the one behind the incarceration of the father of the baby she has (if truly he is). How does she think her child will feel when he or she grows up and discover she at one time manipulated the father to be locked away in prison?
Above all keep praying along with the mother for there's nothing impossible for God.
Hopefully his waywardness will clear off when he's left off the hook after this episode.

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Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by thorpido(m): 1:38pm On Mar 23, 2015
^^^^^you've got good advice here.
Hopefully,he will be remorseful and leave waywardness after this.
Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by coogar: 1:40pm On Mar 23, 2015
did the wayward son actually rapë a 4-year old girl or not? if he did then he's better off in prison. if he didn't, how did the story stïck? i mean - can anyone just look at me and accuse me of räping a minor?

i sympathise with the mother's grief but the law is the law on pedöphilia & rapë. if she had dedicated some of her time to raise her son well then he wouldn't have been a sėx beast in the society.

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Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by henribj(m): 1:40pm On Mar 23, 2015
breathless:
You may after consulting your lawyer friends ask the woman to write a petition the state attorney-general seeking for a retrial. Did her son get a legal representative during the trial? If he did, who was he? In which court was he tried?
And for the lady in question, invite over for a meeting. Ask her how she feels knowing she's the one behind the incarceration of the father of the baby she has (if truly he is). How does she think her child will feel when he or she grows up and discover she at one time manipulated the father to be locked away in prison?
Above all keep praying along with the mother for there's nothing impossible for God.
Hopefully his waywardness will clear off when he's left off the hook after this episode.

your very much on point
nice one
Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by thorpido(m): 1:46pm On Mar 23, 2015
coogar:
did the wayward son actually rapë a 4-year old girl or not? if he did then he's better off in prison. if he didn't, how did the story stïck? i mean - can anyone just look at me and accuse me of räping a minor?

i sympathise with the mother's grief but the law is the law on pedöphilia & rapë. if she had dedicated some of her time to raise her son well then she wouldn't have been a sėx beast in the society.
The girl most likely just used her police connections to get him in the fix.It's Naija police so they know how to get the job done as long as their palms are greased.

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Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by adanduka: 1:48pm On Mar 23, 2015
That church that she is lying in front of and praying, is it that the pastors or priests have not noticed her; unless you are one sha. If you are then, please seek legal counsel and if you're not, please persuade them to take up her case.

But that boy is not worth the mother's sweat; slaving away for an irresponsible kid.
Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by henribj(m): 1:53pm On Mar 23, 2015
adanduka:
That church that she is lying in front of and praying, is it that the pastors or priests have not noticed her; unless you are one sha. If you are then, please seek legal counsel and if you're not, please persuade them to take up her case.

But that boy is not worth the mother's sweat; slaving away for an irresponsible kid.

don't say the boy is not worth the mother's sweat
what did he do wrong? only because he squandered the mothers money? is that enough to disown him?
other boys have done worse and yet there parents still hug them and welcome them home
or is it cos he impregnated a so called educated girl who was foolish enough to get pregnant for a boy, has it even occurred to anyone that the so called educated woman is desperate for marriage and therefore took in intentionally so as to tie the young boy down? with all the connections she has, she wan tell us say she no sabi where to go do abortion?
abeg free the boy jor
the only guilty thing he has done is to chop him mama money, which is not an unforgivable sin/offense
others dey kill them papa and mama to inherit them wealth talk of ordinary stealing
mtcheew

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Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by Mamaflex(f): 3:47pm On Mar 23, 2015
[b][/b]
henribj:


don't say the boy is not worth the mother's sweat
what did he do wrong? only because he squandered the mothers money? is that enough to disown him?
other boys have not worse and yet there parents still hug them and welcome them home
or is it cos he impregnated a so called educated girl who was foolish enough to get pregnant for a boy, has it even occured to anyone that the so called educated woman is not desperate for marriage and therefore took in intentionally so as to tie the young boy down? with all the connections she has, she wan tell us say she no sabi where to go do abortion?
abeg free the boy jor
the only guilty thing he has done is to chop him mama money, which is not an unforgivable sin/offense
others dey kill them papa and mama to inherit them wealth talk of ordinary stealing
mtcheew
Lol @ "ordinary stealing". You sounded like GEJ. grin grin
Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by adanduka: 4:18pm On Mar 23, 2015
henribj:


don't say the boy is not worth the mother's sweat
what did he do wrong? only because he squandered the mothers money? is that enough to disown him?
other boys have not worse and yet there parents still hug them and welcome them home
or is it cos he impregnated a so called educated girl who was foolish enough to get pregnant for a boy, has it even occured to anyone that the so called educated woman is not desperate for marriage and therefore took in intentionally so as to tie the young boy down? with all the connections she has, she wan tell us say she no sabi where to go do abortion?
abeg free the boy jor
the only guilty thing he has done is to chop him mama money, which is not an unforgivable sin/offense
others dey kill them papa and mama to inherit them wealth talk of ordinary stealing
mtcheew

I fail to see where you are headed with your line of thought.
So the girl is foolish but the wise guy who gets a girl pregnant while squandering money should be applauded?
I hope you marry a sane woman, if not your children would squander your money and impregnate girls and you would blame the pregnant girls.
Mtchew...
Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by henribj(m): 5:23pm On Mar 23, 2015
Mamaflex:
[b][/b] Lol @ "ordinary stealing". You sounded like GEJ. grin grin

hahahaha
it was not my intention to sound like him
but i do wish i have the kind of money he has, especially the ones he has hidden away (i no call anybody name o)
what i actually was trying to pass across is that compared to other crimes which boys commit against their parents, stealing is quite a lesser crime.
Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by henribj(m): 5:30pm On Mar 23, 2015
adanduka:


I fail to see where you are headed with your line of thought.
So the girl is foolish but the wise guy who gets a girl pregnant while squandering money should be applauded?
I hope you marry a sane woman, if not your children would squander your money and impregnate girls and you would blame the pregnant girls.
Mtchew...

of course you won't see where i am headed because you have blinded yourself with the thought that i am biased
so because the boy stole his poor mothers money he should be disowned right? then those boys who actually kill their parents in order to inherit the parents wealth/fortunes, what will be done to them?? roasted alive + other heinous things right?
definitely i will marry a sane woman, not because you mentioned it, but because i am working towards it and deserving of it
a so called educated woman allows herself to get pregnant and you say it is the mans fault?? hahahaha.. a woman for that matter o, and not a girl

anyways my argument with you on this case is this
1. the boy does not deserved to be disowned or abandoned just because he ran away with his poor mothers money. other kids have done worse and yet they are forgiven and welcomed back into the family, or is it because his mother is poor thats why he should be disowned?
Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by Nobody: 8:19pm On Mar 23, 2015
the girl was absolutely right to deal with the guy. Some mothers are wicked, hw can a girl carrying your son's child come to u 4 help and u chase her away calling her an educated illiterate? I'm sure she did more than that and now that the boy is rotting away in jail, she's now begging with garri and oil to free him. If she had been kind to her from the onset, the girl wouldn't have gone this far

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Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by yomalex(m): 6:45am On Mar 24, 2015
This is a serious one to be treated with care
Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by Nobody: 6:54am On Mar 24, 2015
This is really sad. Poor woman.
Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by Nobody: 8:05am On Mar 24, 2015
I wonder how people find comfort in heartlessness.

To the girlfriend,Yes you were wrong but you also
never set your priorities right,if you did,you won't be a single mother now.

The mother I hope she finds help from an higher authority.

Nigeria justice system never fails to surprise me.

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Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by Provie(m): 5:42pm On Mar 24, 2015
CreativeWeb:
There is a case on my table right now. The only son of a member of our church. The woman is a farmer and industrious. The husband is old and blind. She managed to raise some money through farming to start a cement business for her son. She is under burden of taking care of her blind husband and farming to get what they will eat. And so, she raised some money to start this cement business for the son so that he can help to cushion the financial difficulties of the family.

However, the son is a wayward son. He squandered the money with his girl friend. A lady that is even older than him. In the course of their friendship, the lady got pregnant and the boy having finished the cement business money and the business having collapsed, he ran away and switched off his phone. The lady traced his house in the village through his friends and came to report to whomever that cares to listen that she is pregnant for their son. And so, she met the boy's mother. After explaining that she was looking for her son who is responsible for her pregnancy, the mother advised her to go and start looking for her son who is responsible so that they will discuss what to do next. In other words, she advised her to go and finish what they started. The lady told the boy's mother that she is a graduate and that she will make a good wife. The boy's mother who is not educated, but has common sense, told the lady that she is an educated illiterate. She asked her, "How can an educated lady like you open her laps for a man to impregnate her? Have you not acted like a secondary school girl?"

The lady left in anger and disgrace. She carried the baby for nine months and was put to bed. He later got the information of the whereabouts of her former boy friend and the father of her baby. She invited him with assurance that all is well.

He came and was arrested by the police with a strong allegation that he raped the niece of his former girl friend who is 4 years old. They backed the allegation with a doctor's report that the young girl was indeed raped and she sustained some injuries in the process.
The boy was charged to court and is now an inmate at Nigerian Prison, Enugu. His file could not be found. Nobody is aware of how he was tried and sentenced.

The lady called the boy's mother few weeks ago telling her that her son will die and rot in the prison. The boy has been there since last year.

Last week, the woman carried a bag of garri and 10 litres of palm oil with 5000 Naira to go and beg the lady. The lady accepted the gifts and asked her to go that she will try to help. But the lady called her few hours after leaving her place never to come to her house again.

This woman has no connection. No money. She doesn't even know how to go about the case.
All she does is coming to the church every day lying in front of the altar praying and crying.

I approached her last week to really know what the burden of her heart is? And she told me this story.
I prayed for her and asked God to help her.

However, I am thinking that I should do more than that. I want to call few lawyer friends for advice.

Dear friends, what should I do in this situation to help this woman?

So sad.

This is a case of Defilement not Rape. In fact, it is "worse" than rape.

I guess the guy has not yet been "tried and sentenced". He has only been remanded in prison custody pending conclusion of Preliminary Enquiry so that he can properly be charged before a High Court, due to the nature of d case.

Brief a lawyer who wil visit him in prison and hear his own version of the incident; to also kno whether he confessed to the crime. Then the lawyer can now apply for his bail either in the magistrate court that remanded him (it will be very difficult if not impossible) or at the high court.

I am sceptical about the part of the story that says the case file is lost, but if it happens to be true, that wil make the boy's case easier.

However, after the boy has been granted bail, you can (if practicable) use your position to call the parties together for some form of reconciliation. If this succeeds, u can inform the court on the next date parties hav settled; she will confirm it and the case will be struck out. Alternatively, u can also settle them first before approaching the court for his bail.
Re: Please Advice Me...what Should I Do In This Situation? by lastnogood(f): 4:59am On Mar 26, 2015
As a mother myself, I'm really ashamed of this woman in a way. If my son squandered all his money, got a woman pregnant, and instead of applying wisdom and discipline to the situation, I defend him like he's done nothing wrong; I'd be ashamed of myself. Even if he didn't in fact rape the girl (and I don't think he did), it didn't need to go that far.
My only son would know the weight he carries on his shoulders and endeavour to make his situation better. As a woman, and a mother, my job is to instill a work ethic and a standard he will never depart from.

In most cases, young people tend to mature once they become parents. If he was showing irresponsible attitudes before, I'd make him stand to the plate. Hopefully, it would make him face his issues squarely. However, letting him get away with his actions, made the situation worse. Spare the rod, spoil the child. It's sad to see an elder behave like a child...

She should pray, and work on his defense, whatever that entails. As for the lady, the only thing that Meeks hearts is the power of God...

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