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Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? - Family - Nairaland

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Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by igivefuck4free(m): 11:03pm On Feb 29, 2016
We all know a wife can't just bring a family, not even a friend, to stay over for few days without consulting the husband first.... Now base on the society we are, as an African, wives are generally submissive to their husbands. So is it appropriate for an husband to bring a friend from another city (or friends from anywhere) who called that he's coming to stay two days in their house to execute a project in their city without first seeking approval from the wife? And if he seeks her approval and the wife says no or not this time, what should he do?

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by igivefuck4free(m): 11:04pm On Feb 29, 2016
I'm coming back grin


Modified
Yay we made it baby, ftc and still the op grin tongue

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Nobody: 11:18pm On Feb 29, 2016
Not really seeking her approval. But getting her informed and hearing her opinion. She may just give u a side to it you may never have thought of.

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Nobody: 11:27pm On Feb 29, 2016
He should consult the wife before making any decision likewise the wife because making any decision that affects them both.

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by igivefuck4free(m): 3:43pm On Mar 01, 2016
jcmaiah:
He should consult the wife before making any decision likewise the wife because making any decision that affects them both.

And if she refused?

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by misreal(m): 4:18pm On Mar 01, 2016
vfactor:
Not really seeking her approval. But getting her informed and hearing her opinion. She may just give u a side to it you may never have thought of.
mr op,this is your answer.if you expect a woman to ever agree to such request,then u dont know women.all you need is to lovingly inform her before time.

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by cruzita(f): 4:33pm On Mar 01, 2016
Well a good husband will seek his wife's opinion after all they are partners not maid and boss

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by igivefuck4free(m): 10:50pm On Mar 01, 2016
misreal:
mr op,this is your answer.if you expect a woman to ever agree to such request,then u dont know women.all you need is to lovingly inform her before time.


But what if she says no?

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by misreal(m): 10:53pm On Mar 01, 2016
igivefuck4free:



But what if she says no?
u r not seeking her permission,you r just informing her.

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by igivefuck4free(m): 2:16am On Mar 02, 2016
misreal:
u r not seeking her permission,you r just informing her.

That's the point, can the wife also just inform the husband and not seeking his permission?

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by misreal(m): 2:29am On Mar 02, 2016
igivefuck4free:


That's the point, can the wife also just inform the husband and not seeking his permission?
The husband is the head and the wife should submit.there can be no two heads in a family.he should always inform her and listen to her own opinion,but the final decision should be left with him.

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Mamatee07: 2:59am On Mar 02, 2016
igivefuck4free:



But what if she says no?

Then it's no, it's her that will do most of the work involving the guest. You want your wife to the upset over a stranger? Makes no sense. If she gives him attitude now you'll be upset. It's her home just like yours both of you must agree before any visitor can come over

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Adaeze003(f): 4:01am On Mar 02, 2016
The African type marriage is just scary... sheesh...

misreal:
The husband is the head and the wife should submit.there can be no two heads in a family.he should always inform her and listen to her own opinion,but the final decision should be left with him.

Note that I really didn't want to quote you...

Anyhoo... you do know you're still sleeping on a pole right

It's funny how you guys carry the submission thing on your head but when someone implies that submitting to a man is master-slave you guys start looking for ways to soften it up. The man can bring in who the hell ever to stay with them but the wife must get his approval when she will be the one to basically take care of the guest? She has no say and can't object to whatever "final decision" the said husband makes? And the marriage is a union and not slavery?

Oh well... good luck to ya wife sha.

And try and wake up from that pole before you'll be forming head and end up beheading the family...

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Originalsly: 4:07am On Mar 02, 2016
Based on our African society... the husband should inform the wife. ..listen to her opinion...then make the decision. " Yes honey...thank you for reminding me we have one bedroom and one bed only...but the bed is big enough to fit all three of us. He will come...my decision is final...case closed."

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by misreal(m): 8:08am On Mar 02, 2016
Adaeze003:
The African type marriage is just scary... sheesh...


Note that I really didn't want to quote you...

Anyhoo... you do know you're still sleeping on a pole right

It's funny how you guys carry the submission thing on your head but when someone implies that submitting to a man is master-slave you guys start looking for ways to soften it up. The man can bring in who the hell ever to stay with them but the wife must get his approval when she will be the one to basically take care of the guest? She has no say and can't object to whatever "final decision" the said husband makes? And the marriage is a union and not slavery?

Oh well... good luck to ya wife sha.

And try and wake up from that pole before you'll be forming head and end up beheading the family...
if you are implying that a woman is equal to a man in marriage then you are mistaken.submission is not slavery my dear,it is the best way to control your man if you play your cards well..the final decision should be left with the man but a woman can SUBMISSIVELY bend a man at will...

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by halfricanadian(f): 8:10am On Mar 02, 2016
I hope when the wife wants to bring sumone home u dont object

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Adaeze003(f): 9:36am On Mar 02, 2016
misreal:
if you are implying that a woman is equal to a man in marriage then you are mistaken.submission is not slavery my dear,it is the best way to control your man if you play your cards well..the final decision should be left with the man but a woman can SUBMISSIVELY bend a man at will...

AKUKO...

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by chigoizie7(m): 9:41am On Mar 02, 2016
A respectful and sub missive woman, will always control his man, any day, anytime. Just learn how to play your cards well.


But, they will not listen, they all think it is always by doing things by force.

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by igivefuck4free(m): 2:19am On Mar 03, 2016
Mamatee07:


Then it's no, it's her that will do most of the work involving the guest. You want your wife to the upset over a stranger? Makes no sense. If she gives him attitude now you'll be upset. It's her home just like yours both of you must agree before any visitor can come over


Exactly my point my brother but you know this we nation, we give little regards to the female folks in this kind of situation.

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Nobody: 3:58am On Mar 03, 2016
Adaeze003:
The African type marriage is just scary... sheesh...


Note that I really didn't want to quote you...

Anyhoo... you do know you're still sleeping on a pole right

It's funny how you guys carry the submission thing on your head but when someone implies that submitting to a man is master-slave you guys start looking for ways to soften it up. The man can bring in who the hell ever to stay with them but the wife must get his approval when she will be the one to basically take care of the guest? She has no say and can't object to whatever "final decision" the said husband makes? And the marriage is a union and not slavery?

Oh well... good luck to ya wife sha.

And try and wake up from that pole before you'll be forming head and end up beheading the family...
If you ain't African, then you don't have no business on this forum. Your name implies you are a xtian so go and read about the first marriage in Genesis. It annoys me how some Africans tend to be more white than the Whites.

A good wife won't outrightly reject her husband's decision but will give reasons and suggestions why such decision should be rescinded by the man. A good husband won't take a decision without seeking his wife's opinion but where there's a conflict of decisions, a man's authority overrides that of a woman though with understanding.

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Nobody: 5:52am On Mar 03, 2016
It is simple.
In as much as I feel repulsive on sighting useless ladies, my Stand remains that the WIFE'S opinion must be accorded because most GOOD ladies are usually CAREFUL and WATCHFUL.

Some even see beyond and relay information to their husbands. But due to the ego and Manly exuberance that has enveloped the men, most men wouldn't concede to that.

Thank you

15 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Kondomatic(m): 6:31am On Mar 03, 2016
Adaeze003:
The African type marriage is just scary... sheesh...


Note that I really didn't want to quote you...

Anyhoo... you do know you're still sleeping on a pole right

It's funny how you guys carry the submission thing on your head but when someone implies that submitting to a man is master-slave you guys start looking for ways to soften it up. The man can bring in who the hell ever to stay with them but the wife must get his approval when she will be the one to basically take care of the guest? She has no say and can't object to whatever "final decision" the said husband makes? And the marriage is a union and not slavery?

Oh well... good luck to ya wife sha.

And try and wake up from that pole before you'll be forming head and end up beheading the family...
I hate what I am about to type but I kinda agree with the person you quoted and technically speaking, wives in down here are being bought which places them well below their husbands.

To begin with, a man owns the house, I mean the building they live in, most girls cannot marry a guy who doesn't own a house. The man most times pays the rent if they're staying in a rented apartment which makes it his house not their house so he can bring in whoever he wants to so far the person is not a crook.

Finally, consider what the men pass through, when you see a woman you want to marry, her family will tax you mightily and when you pay everything they asked for and pay a certain amount of bride price, they will hand the girl over to you.(isn't that business?) keep love aside please, this is pure business arrangement, you pay for their daughter before she becomes you wife.

So she was bought and cannot be equal with you.

A lot of things need to change for our women to enjoy certain privileges in their marriage.

There's this outdated mentality of some ladies that "her money is her money but her husbands money is their money" meaning that the pays almost all the bills and yet they clamour for equal rights.

It smells like nonsense.

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by pinkpebbles(f): 7:27am On Mar 03, 2016
The home belongs to both of them and they should make decisions and agree on it together.I am not married but I do not think that if I dont approve of my husband bringin in his friend to my home, he should go ahead and do it. if your wife is rational, trust me, she must have very gud reasons. Your frend would not die in d city, afterall, there are cheap hotels everywhere, u cud take from her upkeep money and lodge him wtout her knowing but please dont bring him home. She wont jst be uncomfortable, she wud also make d home uncomfortable for your guest. When a man listens to a woman, his home is peaceful.

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by firstking01(m): 7:38am On Mar 03, 2016
Whatever happens to the person lodging in a hotel or somethingundecided

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Adaeze003(f): 7:39am On Mar 03, 2016
SirJeffry:
If you ain't African, then you don't have no business on this forum. Your name implies you are a xtian so go and read about the first marriage in Genesis. It annoys me how some Africans tend to be more white than the Whites.

A good wife won't outrightly reject her husband's decision but will give reasons and suggestions why such decision should be rescinded by the man. A good husband won't take a decision without seeking his wife's opinion but where there's a conflict of decisions, a man's authority overrides that of a woman though with understanding.

Ehm... my name is a native igbo name, not a Christian one but I am Christian.

That said, I don't see what your problem is with my post, if I want to be more white than whites, I really don't see how it affects you or does it? Please, try and ride your car in your own lane iyeh? wink

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by tosyne2much(m): 7:41am On Mar 03, 2016
Kondomatic:
I hate what I am about to type but I kinda agree with the person you quoted and technically speaking, wives in down here are being bought which places them well below their husbands.

To begin with, a man owns the house, I mean the building they live in, most girls cannot marry a guy who doesn't own a house. The man most times pays the rent if they're staying in a rented apartment which makes it his house not their house so he can bring in whoever he wants to so far the person is not a crook.

Finally, consider what the men pass through, when you see a woman you want to marry, her family will tax you mightily and when you pay everything they asked for and pay a certain amount of bride price, they will hand the girl over to you.(isn't that business?) keep love aside please, this is pure business arrangement, you pay for their daughter before she becomes you wife.

So she was bought and cannot be equal with you.

A lot of things need to change for our women to enjoy certain privileges in their marriage.


There's this outdated mentality of some ladies that "her money is her money but her husbands money is their money" meaning that the pays almost all the bills and yet they clamour for equal rights.

It smells like nonsense.
You are a man of wisdom


Our customs and norms have placed women beneath men

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Nobody: 8:02am On Mar 03, 2016
Adaeze003:
The African type marriage is just scary... sheesh...


Note that I really didn't want to quote you...

Anyhoo... you do know you're still sleeping on a pole right

It's funny how you guys carry the submission thing on your head but when someone implies that submitting to a man is master-slave you guys start looking for ways to soften it up. The man can bring in who the hell ever to stay with them but the wife must get his approval when she will be the one to basically take care of the guest? She has no say and can't object to whatever "final decision" the said husband makes? And the marriage is a union and not slavery?

Oh well... good luck to ya wife sha.

And try and wake up from that pole before you'll be forming head and end up beheading the family...
Why bother?? undecided
You'd Only be stressing Your ever So precious self.



The "Husband" Is the master. The Almighty, The king. his majesty!
The "Wife"on The other hand is Nothing but A low-life being, who's leading the life of A Robot. Her sole purpose in life is to Serve her husband(Lord n Almighty) And do whatever he tells her to.
Hence, Subjugating the wife To Eternal slavery Masking in the name of "Marriage"

LoL! grin issoryt!


The way things are going. I won't get married till I'm 60! grin
#Long Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by misreal(m): 8:10am On Mar 03, 2016
pinkpebbles:
The home belongs to both of them and they should make decisions and agree on it together.I am not married but I do not think that if I dont approve of my husband bringin in his friend to my home, he should go ahead and do it. if your wife is rational, trust me, she must have very gud reasons. Your frend would not die in d city, afterall, there are cheap hotels everywhere, u cud take from her upkeep money and lodge him wtout her knowing but please dont bring him home. She wont jst be uncomfortable, she wud also make d home uncomfortable for your guest. When a man listens to a woman, his home is peaceful.
my sister,please listen.the reason why a man should always seek the opinion of his wife is because no one is an island of knowlege,and sometimes women can be very insighful.the best a woman can do is to make her husband see reasons as to why she doesnt want it.but believe me,if you are good at it,you will always have him at your call.but please,dont go into marriage thinking that if you dont approve of a thing then it will not stand because when a man sees this attitude in you,he will NEVER take your advise again..the final decision is left with the man.

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Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by funlord(m): 8:10am On Mar 03, 2016
sad
igivefuck4free:
We all know a wife can't just bring a family, not even a friend, to stay over for few days without consulting the husband first.... Now base on the society we are, as an African, wives are generally submissive to their husbands. So is it appropriate for an husband to bring a friend from another city (or friends from anywhere) who called that he's coming to stay two days in their house to execute a project in their city without first seeking approval from the wife? And if he seeks her approval and the wife says no or not this time, what should he do?






So na because I wan show do 3 days na him you run go create this walaha thread abi? No vex I go stay hotel! Make I no cause una divorce!

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by misreal(m): 8:18am On Mar 03, 2016
it is only a foolish woman who thinks submission is slavery.whereas,foolishness is when a man refuses to listen to the voice of an insightful wife..a woman who cant submit to a man has nothing to do with getting married and a man who thinks a woman who submits is a slave should not get married.this is why most african marriages are crashing because,women wants to be the head,and men,slave masters.

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by igivefuck4free(m): 8:57am On Mar 03, 2016
funlord:
sad






So na because I wan show do 3 days na him you run go create this walaha thread abi? No vex I go stay hotel! Make I no cause una divorce!


tongue

My wife no gree and na she I said "yes I do" to, no be you.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Polite For Husband To Seek Wife's Approval On This? by Strahovski1(m): 9:39am On Mar 03, 2016
In Nigerian society, wife is nothing. Her opinions don't matter after all the decision is yours. So her talk is just waste of saliva.

1 Like

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