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She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience - Family - Nairaland

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She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by 4giveness: 8:37am On Apr 11, 2015
the first time i had sex was when i was eight years old and i cant even remember who it was with. Ever since then up till 2004 i have had sex with over sixty men.... well, i am from a muslim background and a polygamous home where my parents have been separated since i was 5. I gained admission into the university in 2001 and met with Christ (Born Again) in 2003 and my best part of the Bible was 2nd Corinthians 5:17. then i stopped sleeping around and i became focused. I started being faithful to one single man but i then i noticed that the guy i was with lost all he had while he was with me and i guess he prayed about it and he was told to leave me and he left. Next guy and the same thing happened... Then i started going for deliverance in churches,confessing my sins to God and praying and fasting about my past.

To the Glory of God, after my youth service in 2005, i met a young, single guy who is a graduate and a very good guy, although he didnt have much working for him, but he was focused and we started together, after we started dating he got a better job and things started looking up for him. We got married in 2008 and things have been moving well for him. We have three children and he makes me very happy.

The problem is my conscience has been pricking me because i told my husband i had slept with only 4 men in my life. I dont know if i should just open up to him and tell him or keep it a secret.

I have been an addicted and active member of nairaland for almost a decade but i had to create this profile so as to remain anonymous.

Mods please take this to front page so i can get more people to advise me on what to do.
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by beycity(m): 8:50am On Apr 11, 2015
Well..... A part of me is saying this aint true and its just one of those super story thing.
But in case its true........ I think you should just keep quiet and enjoy ur marriage.
But only you 60 men? Menh! I hope ur husband didnt pay any dowry cha?

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by Tunnamania(m): 8:51am On Apr 11, 2015
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Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by Nobody: 8:56am On Apr 11, 2015
Some secrets, are better kept shut.

6 Likes

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by JUO(m): 9:37am On Apr 11, 2015
hum, na wa o. sixty men? confess and be free but be ready for your husband cos the love will vanish
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by cocoberry(f): 9:43am On Apr 11, 2015
Serious matter!
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by Nobody: 9:59am On Apr 11, 2015
You need forgiveness and clear conscience from who? God almighty or your husband? See this woman o. You want to open can of worms that is capable of changing the atmosphere of your marriage for life? That is how women become architects of the suffering they see in marriage. Trouble dey sleep yanga wan go wake am. Who send you message? So you dnt know there are things that are best kept to yourself and taken to the grave? Do you know your husband's body count? God has already forgiven you and you have made changes in your life. what else do you want again? Trouble? Okay after telling your husband all these, how do you think he will treat you from this moment onward? You think this is america where they dnt care about body count? Do not allow your past define you. You have made changes. that is all that matters. That is what concerns God and that is what should matter to anybody else.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by VintageCocktail(m): 10:05am On Apr 11, 2015
For us feeble minded Nigerians, over 60 men is mind-boggling and we have these wish that hope it isn't true and probably hope these ain't coming from a female acquintance of ours.... then telling it to one of us who is also obviously feeble-minded as the rest of us and who happens to be your husband is a recipe for a tsunaminous disaster. park that conscience aside and erase the memory of those other 56 men and deal with the 4 guys hubby is aware of. And it baffles me that you can't tell your gut to fuckitt and face the present/future. Or May Be Karma Is After You To Wake A Sleeping Rottweiler And Alsatian Just To Show You That It Is Still A Biaatchh that probably Out Of The Platoon, Marriages Were Lost In Your Quest For Continuous Bliss Of Orgasms And Climaxes.
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by crackhaus: 10:17am On Apr 11, 2015
Over sixty sexual partners is a lot, but is there really any point revealing that to your husband?

If some women who were sexually active before getting married decided to tell their spouses the exact number of sexual partners they've had, I'm sure many husbands would be looking at their wives differently by now.
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by edwife(f): 10:33am On Apr 11, 2015
if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away

If you believe that you have changed and move on from that life then you need to bury whatever happened before meeting your husband.
You do not need to tell him,focus on your present and future with him.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by maclatunji: 10:46am On Apr 11, 2015
#Hehehehe, I am laughing at your post.
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by Nobody: 11:10am On Apr 11, 2015
60 men and no HIV. awesome
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by MizMyColi(f): 11:18am On Apr 11, 2015
Sophyrocks:
You need forgiveness and clear conscience from who? God almighty or your husband? See this woman o. You want to open can of worms that is capable of changing the atmosphere of your marriage for life? That is how women become architects of the suffering they see in marriage. Trouble dey sleep yanga wan go wake am. Who send you message? So you dnt know there are things that are best kept to yourself and taken to the grave? Do you know your husband's body count? God has already forgiven you and you have made changes in your life. what else do you want again? Trouble? Okay after telling your husband all these, how do you think he will treat you from this moment onward? You think this is america where they dnt care about body count? Do not allow your past define you. You have made changes. that is all that matters. That is what concerns God and that is what should matter to anybody else.
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by MizMyColi(f): 11:24am On Apr 11, 2015
OP, deal with those demons of guilt-tripping from within. That's where the battle is.

[size=14pt]After that, Keep Calm and Shut Up![/size]

Even if those sixty men were to appear on your doorstep tomorrow, except they come with damning evidence, as far as you are concerned.....having come this far in your marriage, they have ceased to exist.

You are a new creation.....old things have passed away.
No be me talk am, na so e dey for bible.

EOD!
lipsrsealed

6 Likes

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by crackhaus: 11:27am On Apr 11, 2015
VintageCocktail:
For us feeble minded Nigerians, over 60 men is mind-boggling with the wish that it ain't true and probably hope these aint coming from a female acquintance of ours.... then telling it to one of us who is obviously feeble-minded and who happens to be your husband is a recipe for a tsunaminous disaster. park that concience aside and erase the memory of those other 56 and deal with the 4 hubby is aware of. Even after those men irrespective of how many times you did it with them, your vj and hubby affirms to the four you manufactured then tell your gut to fuckitt. Or May Be Karma Is After You To Wake A Sleeping Rottweiler And Alsatian Combined Just To Show You That It Is Still A Biaatchh. May Be Out Of The Platoon, Marriages Were Lost In Your Quest For Continuous Bliss Of Orgasms And Climaxes.
gringrin
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by Mintayo(m): 11:29am On Apr 11, 2015
Op, you are a new creature in Christ, you have confessed and repented, and I believe you have a clear board with God, so please let the past be, don't awaken it!
You should have told your husband that it was 60 men instead of the 4 you told him. What if he thinks you are lying again about the 60? That it's more than that?
Just let it be and continue to enjoy your home!
Modified: Please rebuke that guilty conscience, it's the devil's way of taking you to the past, making you to doubt your new life in Christ!
Making you think you have not been forgiven!

1 Like

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by Nobody: 11:55am On Apr 11, 2015
Take the advice of the posters above.

But madam, am curious,60 men?? Are you sure? undecided

Were you an escort or something like that?

If yes, tell your husband.
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by janvier27(m): 12:17pm On Apr 11, 2015
That's all in the past. Did you know your husband then? It's only God you should confess to and ask for his forgiveness. Forget that past and move on. Hope you are not in the area where many of those customers are so seeing them won't keep reminding you. And I trust you are clean now. Be happy with your new life. Nothing is wrong with you.
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by twosquare(m): 1:22pm On Apr 11, 2015
4giveness:
the first time i had sex was when i was eight years old and i cant even remember who it was with. Ever since then up till 2004 i have had sex with over sixty men.... well, i am from a muslim background and a polygamous home where my parents have been separated since i was 5. I gained admission into the university in 2001 and met with Christ (Born Again) in 2003 and my best part of the Bible was 2nd Corinthians 5:17. then i stopped sleeping around and i became focused. I started being faithful to one single man but i then i noticed that the guy i was with lost all he had while he was with me and i guess he prayed about it and he was told to leave me and he left. Next guy and the same thing happened... Then i started going for deliverance in churches,confessing my sins to God and praying and fasting about my past.

To the Glory of God, after my youth service in 2005, i met a young, single guy who is a graduate and a very good guy, although he didnt have much working for him, but he was focused and we started together, after we started dating he got a better job and things started looking up for him. We got married in 2008 and things have been moving well for him. We have three children and he makes me very happy.

The problem is my conscience has been pricking me because i told my husband i had slept with only 4 men in my life. I dont know if i should just open up to him and tell him or keep it a secret.

I have been an addicted and active member of nairaland for almost a decade but i had to create this profile so as to remain anonymous.

Mods please take this to front page so i can get more people to advise me on what to do.
works of demons trying to convince you that you've not been forgiven....push that aside and better focus on how you will build a formidable marriage. If God begins to count iniquity, who can stand says the psalmist? Bygones are now bygones. Live happily

3 Likes

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by SaMajeste(f): 1:51pm On Apr 11, 2015
I don't think your problem or guilt is about telling your husband about the number of men you have slept with. The guilt you're feeling is about lying to your husband.

I feel you shouldn't have even said anything unless he asked. I don't know what advice to give but to seek God first before you take any action.

It is well with you!

2 Likes

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by ChrisChino(m): 2:42pm On Apr 11, 2015
seriously... i think u should let sleeping dogs snore.
its ur past.. make peace with God and yourself...
then live with it...
dont disturbe a happy man

1 Like

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by Nobody: 2:45pm On Apr 11, 2015
yup
Sophyrocks:
You need forgiveness and clear conscience from who? God almighty or your husband? See this woman o. You want to open can of worms that is capable of changing the atmosphere of your marriage for life? That is how women become architects of the suffering they see in marriage. Trouble dey sleep yanga wan go wake am. Who send you message? So you dnt know there are things that are best kept to yourself and taken to the grave? Do you know your husband's body count? God has already forgiven you and you have made changes in your life. what else do you want again? Trouble? Okay after telling your husband all these, how do you think he will treat you from this moment onward? You think this is america where they dnt care about body count? Do not allow your past define you. You have made changes. that is all that matters. That is what concerns God and that is what should matter to anybody else.
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by mystiqueDZ(f): 2:50pm On Apr 11, 2015
So if you tell him the truth now what have you achieved? God has forgiven...why you are yet to forgive yourself and move on baffles me!

1 Like

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by Nobody: 2:56pm On Apr 11, 2015
over 60 partners is a lot , damn girl . buuut, if u've asked Christ to forgive u, no need to worry again . u shouldn't hv lied to ur hub, idk how u should hv answered instead tho. y did the question even come up now , i mean u're already married with 3 kids y are u two discussing the # of folks y'all slept with? stuff like this u discuss when u're dating not now . ok , u don't need to re-tell him now , let it go . no man will be happy knowing his wife slept with that # of men. u tell him now and ur marriage will never be the same. u got a good man , hold him tight


4giveness:
the first time i had sex was when i was eight years old and i cant even remember who it was with. Ever since then up till 2004 i have had sex with over sixty men.... well, i am from a muslim background and a polygamous home where my parents have been separated since i was 5. I gained admission into the university in 2001 and met with Christ (Born Again) in 2003 and my best part of the Bible was 2nd Corinthians 5:17. then i stopped sleeping around and i became focused. I started being faithful to one single man but i then i noticed that the guy i was with lost all he had while he was with me and i guess he prayed about it and he was told to leave me and he left. Next guy and the same thing happened... Then i started going for deliverance in churches,confessing my sins to God and praying and fasting about my past.

To the Glory of God, after my youth service in 2005, i met a young, single guy who is a graduate and a very good guy, although he didnt have much working for him, but he was focused and we started together, after we started dating he got a better job and things started looking up for him. We got married in 2008 and things have been moving well for him. We have three children and he makes me very happy.

The problem is my conscience has been pricking me because i told my husband i had slept with only 4 men in my life. I dont know if i should just open up to him and tell him or keep it a secret.

I have been an addicted and active member of nairaland for almost a decade but i had to create this profile so as to remain anonymous.

Mods please take this to front page so i can get more people to advise me on what to do.
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by bbeckky: 4:05pm On Apr 11, 2015
Some things are better left unsaid. Unless ur hubby is matured enof 2 handle it, telln him might just build in him a strong contempt against u. He might even keep away frm u sexually, yes, datz ao strong dt feeling is. Dear op, since u av reconciled wit ur maker(God), just pray nd ask God 4 inner peace wit regard to ur conscience, ask Him 2 tak away ur guilt.

1 Like

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by chronique(m): 4:48pm On Apr 11, 2015
Damn you girl;that's some high mileage thing. That's an average of 6 men a year,10 yrs before you met your husband? As a guy,I'm not sure I've even done half of that no. Anyways,just let things stay the way they are;it doesn't sound palatable.
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by 4giveness: 5:07pm On Apr 11, 2015
beycity:
Well..... A part of me is saying this aint true and its just one of those super story thing.
But in case its true........ I think you should just keep quiet and enjoy ur marriage.
But only you 60 men? Menh! I hope ur husband didnt pay any dowry cha?

its very true though i am not proud of it.... but its true
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by 4giveness: 5:09pm On Apr 11, 2015
intbizoil:
60 men and no HIV. awesome

I delivered my three children in the General Hospital and i have been tested of HIV those three times and its NEGATIVE
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by 4giveness: 5:12pm On Apr 11, 2015
Sophyrocks:
You need forgiveness and clear conscience from who? God almighty or your husband? See this woman o. You want to open can of worms that is capable of changing the atmosphere of your marriage for life? That is how women become architects of the suffering they see in marriage. Trouble dey sleep yanga wan go wake am. Who send you message? So you dnt know there are things that are best kept to yourself and taken to the grave? Do you know your husband's body count? God has already forgiven you and you have made changes in your life. what else do you want again? Trouble? Okay after telling your husband all these, how do you think he will treat you from this moment onward? You think this is america where they dnt care about body count? Do not allow your past define you. You have made changes. that is all that matters. That is what concerns God and that is what should matter to anybody else.

Thanks so much but its just that i always feel he probably should have been more successful than he is now and that my past is hindering him.
Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by 4giveness: 5:24pm On Apr 11, 2015
MizMyColi:
OP, deal with those demons of guilt-tripping from within. That's where the battle is.

[size=14pt]After that, Keep Calm and Shut Up![/size]

Even if those sixty men were to appear on your doorstep tomorrow, except they come with damning evidence, as far as you are concerned.....having come this far in your marriage, they have ceased to exist.

You are a new creation.....old things have passed away.
No be me talk am, na so e dey for bible.

EOD!
lipsrsealed


Thanks, lol

1 Like

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by 4giveness: 5:44pm On Apr 11, 2015
aflyingbird:
over 60 partners is a lot , damn girl . buuut, if u've asked Christ to forgive u, no need to worry again . u shouldn't hv lied to ur hub, idk how u should hv answered instead tho. y did the question even come up now , i mean u're already married with 3 kids y are u two discussing the # of folks y'all slept with? stuff like this u discuss when u're dating not now . ok , u don't need to re-tell him now , let it go . no man will be happy knowing his wife slept with that # of men. u tell him now and ur marriage will never be the same. u got a good man , hold him tight



Thanks smiley

1 Like

Re: She Needs Forgiveness And A Clear Conscience by cococandy(f): 7:12am On Apr 12, 2015
60 men from when you were 8 until 2014 Is not that many depending on how many years were in between because technically you didn't really have consensual sex with 60 men. Subtract how many you had before you turned 18 and you have the real number of men you willingly slept with.
I think your main problem is that you were sexuallyy abused a lot until you turned Legal 18 age of consent.
So between 8 and 18, that wasn't you having sex. That was you being raped.
You must be having a lot of psychological issues because of that.
Sorry.

Whatever. Just shut up and drive.

1 Like

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