It’s a lot easier for women to please men in bed than it
is for men to please women. Why? Well, men are
straightforward and women are
complicated, and that’s the understatement of the
millennium.
And its not just about the female sexual system so
complex some of its owners don’t get it (it would be
easier to time travel than orgasm simultaneously a lot
of the time).
Women are slaves to hormone-driven libidos more
unpredictable than lottery numbers. Highly susceptible
to the trio of self-blame, self-doubt and self-
consciousness.
Add a touch of body dysmorphia to the mix and you’ll
get a vague idea of what it’s like to be a female in bed.
In a bid to help make life a little easier for both sexes,
here’s what all men need to know about the woman in
their lives.
1. ABOUT HER BODY
The clitoris is the only organ on the human body
designed specifically and purely for pleasure. You can
see some of the clitoris: the hood, the shaft that hides
under it and the glans (head), which is the little pea-
sized tip most people think is the clitoris. But hidden
from view are other bits: it has wings! These wings are
called clitoral legs and they’re made of erectile tissue,
which means they pump full of blood, just like the penis
does, when aroused. The legs are about two to three
and a half inches long and run down the sides, pointing
in the direction of her bottom.
But wait there’s more: there are also clitoral bulbs of
erectile tissue underneath the inner lips of the labia.
This is all extremely good news. It means rather than
one tiny
area, there’s lots of us to be stimulated.
It is more difficult for women to orgasm but the fact is,
a lot of women can orgasm in five minutes or under
given the right technique, lover and/or tool (namely one
that vibrates). The right technique isn’t through
intercourse, which is what most men have grown up
believing. It’s generally gentle, consistent, rhythmic
stimulation with a tongue or fingers. The right tool is a
vibrator, which an (albeit dwindling) number of men find
threatening
What’s the easiest way to orgasm for most women? In
one survey of more than 500 women, 34% said using
theirbfingers or rubbing against something was the
easiest way to climax; 14% said using their vibrator.
That’s nearly half of all female orgasms achieved
without a man even in the country, let alone the room!
The next most reliable method, at 14%, was receiving
MouthAction. Just 6% of women said they could orgasm
from intercourse alone (read that again, just so it sinks
in), though 12% said if there was added clitoral
stimulation (fingers or a vibe) they could manage it (and
that bit).
2. ABOUT HER ORGASM
It is more difficult for women to orgasm but the fact is,
a lot of women can orgasm in five minutes or under
given the right technique, lover and/or tool (namely one
that vibrates). The right technique isn’t through
intercourse, which is what most men have grown up
believing. It’s generally gentle, consistent, rhythmic
stimulation with a tongue or fingers. The right tool is a
vibrator, which an (albeit dwindling) number of men find
threatening
What’s the easiest way to orgasm for most women? In
one survey of more than 500 women, 34% said using
theirbfingers or rubbing against something was the
easiest way to climax; 14% said using their vibrator.
That’s nearly half of all female orgasms achieved
without a man even in the country, let alone the room!
The next most reliable method, at 14%, was receiving
MouthAction. Just 6% of women said they could orgasm
from intercourse alone (read that again, just so it sinks
in), though 12% said if there was added clitoral
stimulation (fingers or a vibe) they could manage it (and
that bit).
3. ABOUT FAKING IT
Yes, one of your lovers (if not most) have faked it and
no, you probably couldn’t or can’t tell. There are some
clues, but they’re not absolutely reliable. A flushed face,
a red rash that appears and disappears quickly on the
chest or neck, vaginal contractions, a rapid
heart rate and a clitoris that’s sensitive to touch directly
afterward are some of the signs.
But here’s the best way tobguarantee your current or
next girlfriend/wife won’t fake it: make it abundantly
clear it won’tbbe an issue if she doesn’t orgasm. Not in
a ‘I know it’s really difficult for women…so let’s not
even try’, type of way, just find out what she likes, try
your best but then shut up for a bit. It takes time.
Nothing worse than being on the brink and you choosing
that moment to pop back up, looking expectant
andbasking, ‘Do you think it’s going to happen soon?’
4. ABOUT HER LIBIDO
Because of hormones, women feel like sex lots at
certain times of the month and less (or not at all) at
others. Men’s sex drives tend to be more consistent
more spontaneous.
You’ll feel aroused, then instigate sex because of it.
Women’s sex drives are more stimulative. This means
we might not feel like sex at all but once we start
having it, desire kicks in. In practical terms, this means
most women are particularly up for it at a particular
time in their monthly cycle. And very
much not up for it at others. It also means it’s worth
both of you giving it the old college try on ‘sort of
interested’ days because she might perk up after some
skilful and tactfully timed pre-intimacy.
The all-time best sex tip though remains the same. If
you really want to know how to be the best lover she’s
everbhad, ask her to tell you what she likes. Tongues
are great for lots of things in bed but their most useful
purpose is for talking!
Communication is key.