That's women for you. Just use your head and relate with your father the way you should. Women! Smh

then turn against your mother.

Just no worry, e go better.

Just don't hate either of them sha at the long run.

marque:
I don't understand what is going on in my house. Any little thing that happens between my mum and Dad she will call us (the children) and start telling us what happened but always putting the blame on my Father.

She has never explained anything and made it look like it was her fault. She is trying to paint a bad picture of our father in our eyes.

This has been going on right from when I was little but as I grew older I began to see things in a different light.

Anytime my mum brings up an issue concerning she and my Dad I try to look at things differently and see things in the other way before concluding. If I tell her what I feel and it's not in line with what she said,she'll get angry with me.

The latest was the one that happened recently. My mum was planning to go to her home town to see her family and so she needed some money from my dad to add to what she had already so she could buy some food stuff on her way. It is good to note that my mum had already travelled Last year during the Christmas celebration to see her people and my Dad gave her the money for everything she bought.

My mum works and gets paid too but she didn't use any of her money to buy those things last year. My Dad footed the bills. Now she wanted to travel again this year and My Dad refused to let her go because we just moved into our new house and there are some things which have to be bought and fixed in the house.

My Dad told her that if she wants to go it's her choice but he wouldn't give her any money as he has got some other pressing needs at the moment. My mum got angry about this and she told us.

I saw things from my father's point of view and tried to explain to her why it happened so but she got angry. She said I must always support him and that i'm not acting like "a son she gave birth to"

She has not talked to my Dad since then and anytime I greet her,she ignores me. I have two sisters,an elder and a younger one and i'm the only boy. My sister is at the ripe age of getting married but she is also supporting my mother in this,sadly.

My father doesn't seem to be bothered much though as he still goes about his normal activity but this problem is really troubling my mind and I really wish there could be an end to it.

Do mothers have to unnecessarily incite children against their fathers?

Is that why grown up children tend to cater for their mothers more and forgetting the struggle of their fathers even while they are still alive?

Matured advise please.

Carry ur family wahala comot for here. This is family affairs and should be settled at home. Everybody here on this forum has their family issues.

Act like your father. He knows why he is ignoring things. Women issues aren't worth being pondered upon else it might ruin your own purpose In life. Greater percentage of women have never been understanding right from the time BC!

marque:

I've actually thought of telling my Dad about it but I felt it may make the problem bigger than it is. I don't want them to be acting like enemies in the house.

Am still a student and so I don't really have anything to contribute. My mum helps me with pocket money sometimes but I don't think she will even give me anything this time around and am to resume school soon.

Very sympathetic point. But niqqa, u r 4qed if you rely on your mum this semester. She will remind you. But on a serious note, speak up and discourage your mum. Let her know in tbe presence of your sisters that her approach is a divide and rule tactic and it tears down rather than build up a family. Resolve within you that you must help your family and see how this resolve gingers you to speak up and correct issues. It doesnt mean you are going to be rude. NO. All the best bro.

Good you are reasoning maturely at your age. Some women are like that. Tell her you love her too even more than your Dad, but in this case she must put herself in Daddy's shoe.

Am happy that u are matured now to reason fins out for yoursef.I'd could be a lot of issues past daht keeps repeating itsef in ur mums mind daht would mk her act daht way.#hurt.

Now let not begin to tk side on who is right or wrung.so my advice is tk time out n pray when u have peace in ur hrt.u can now call ur mum n talk to her concerning how u feel about d way things are going which is actually aving an effect on u as a child.

Bless up bro

As African parent ur mum will not t ur words even if she knew what you are trying to tell her is truth. I suggest you keep playing ur role by not supporting her in such thing.

Yeye Boy!
Your Papa no bother himself, na you come carry am for head like gala....

Mstew!
Na your type go dey report him wife when you eventually marry.
You talk too much biko.

How has your parents' relationship back in the day? Can youremember?

Cc: marque

marque:

The way my mum bad mouths my dad in our presence just to make us have resentment for him is troubling. So I came here to share the problem and see if I can probably put an end to it.

Eeyah...
How sorrowful..

What your mother is doing is bad, you are a boy to become a man in this life, women have a way of tricking men. Be she your mother, sister or wife they are the same. Don't let her turn you against your dad. Talk to your mother in a better way but don't be rude to her. Your dad is right and he is in charge of the situation but a woman can frustrate the living day light out of a man. Don't follow the dangerous path your mother is going, the end won't be good unless she turn a new leaf.

@ OP,

Thank God you are wise.
To be honest with you, she is your mother but she is not a very good woman.
I have seen some women do this and succeeded in turning their children against their fathers who laboured hard to carter for them and they are happy at what they did.

I will be glad if you are up to 18 years.
If you are, protect your dad. One day you will be a dad too and wouldn't want such to happen to you.

Whenever she calls for such meeting, attend, listen and after she had said all she wanted to say, simply tell her that your dad is the head of the family and his decision is final. Then walk away.

Let her get angry with you, she will later understand you won't support her ways and she will let you be.

You are a man and must protect your dad.

@op I must say sincerely I share your predicament and I will give you a straight answer through my observation with my own parent. What I realise from them is that my mother try to manipulate us against our dad when ever my dad is not bulging to her demands, though my mom is a good woman but woman tends to over do or find away to achieve their aim. At a time I do support her and as I grow I start to see things in different perspective and to understand all my dads silence during the years when my mom do shed crocodile tears to manipulate us against him. Until you are a father yourself yoy may not understand how manipulating a woman is they try to secure your trust from childhood so that you will always put them ahead of others, and that's why you notice some mother prefers a child to another one and the major reason is simple THEY WILL PICK THE ONE THEY CAN MANIPULATE to secure their future.
I regret to say this but our mother's are selfish but yet they love us no matter our decisions. So make yours

marque:

Matured advise please.

I am so sorry to disappoint you mister. The hard fact is that both sexes are guilty of these but it is unfortunate that in your situation, it is your mum.

Simply ignore her and tell her off when next she sits you down to complain. Make it clear to her that it is between her and her husband and it is of no concern of yours. Also WARN never to get your siblings involve again.


If she tries to blackmail you, please ignore her and tell her that no true mother would burden her own children with her issues. Let her know that it took two people to produce you and she is just one of the two and you also have every right to support your dad if truly he is your father and her husband.

Parents also need a firm hand. Don't be bullied to do what you wouldn't do because of their emotional blackmail. You have to stand up to her and make your siblings understand her wrongs.

sunnydayasaba:
Sorry u find urself in such situation, i will advice u invite ur mum out to maybe a nice restaurant for a drink and chat if u can afford it just to make her look special and try to find out d circumstances surrounding most of such decisions, it could be a past feeling of hurt or she never loved your father even though there married, such things happens. Try to make her talk and after let her know the consequences of her actions to the family, her decision doesn't only affect ur dad both the whole family, imagine ur sisters getting married and treating their husband in same manner, they might be send packing if such man cant tolerate like ur dad. Even your dads health is at risk here, he's not talking doesn't mean he's happy or less bothered. So man up and take charge to fix things now that you still can.

Above all, Ask God for wisdom so u can use the right words when addressing dis issues. Gud luck

You nailed it...good advise.

@OP your mum is just trying to justify her selfish actions through gaining you support.
Anytime she comes with those talks and gossips, just find a way to excuse yourself.

Try block your mind from such behavior, because it might affect you relationship with females in the future.

d reason why naija men sort for a baby boy....

Burger01:
That's women for you. Just use your head and relate with your father the way you should. Women! Smh

Ode!

jayne8585yahoo:
OP I feel your predicament, I have to be frank with you

your mummy and daddy did not start today, your dad must have mistreatmented her while you guys were still young and so she wants to take her own pound of flesh.

women are resilience in nature, may be for her to stay married she was taking your fathers flaws then, now she thinks that it's her own time to shine.

As I speak to you now, some women are in that situation, they are waiting for their children to grow so as to start acting

OR

she never loved your dad as someone has said earlier

MIND YOU ALL THIS ARE GUESS WORK.


SOLUTIONS

Take your time, ask her if she wants to destroy her family,

Ask her to forgive your dad

Detail to how you feel about the issue.

I WISH GOOD LUCK,

DON'T JOIN HAND WITH YOUR DAD, SEEK PEACE.

AS YOU DO THAT I PRAY GOD TO BLESS YOU.

AMEN

Madam take it easy n don't confuse d boy. I was once n still in his shoes, since wen I was a kid it has been trouble here n there n now I'm grown n still it is dis or dat. Even after the death of our father it still continued. Just waiting for the day I will start my own family. So please let it be coz some women are like dat.

helpsystem:
@op I must say sincerely I share your predicament and I will give you a straight answer through my observation with my own parent. What I realise from them is that my mother try to manipulate us against our dad when ever my dad is not bulging to her demands, though my mom is a good woman but woman tends to over do or find away to achieve their aim. At a time I do support her and as I grow I start to see things in different perspective and to understand all my dads silence during the years when my mom do shed crocodile tears to manipulate us against him. Until you are a father yourself yoy may not understand how manipulating a woman is they try to secure your trust from childhood so that you will always put them ahead of others, and[b] that's why you notice some mother prefers a child to another one and the major reason is simple THEY WILL PICK THE ONE THEY CAN MANIPULATE to secure their future.[/b]
I regret to say this but our mother's are selfish but yet they love us no matter our decisions. So make yours

The Bold is the most baffling of it all, you see them hating their own children due to simple disagreement with their father.

op

sunnydayasaba:
Sorry u find urself in such situation, i will advice u invite ur mum out to maybe a nice restaurant for a drink and chat if u can afford it just to make her look special and try to find out d circumstances surrounding most of such decisions, it could be a past feeling of hurt or she never loved your father even though there married, such things happens. Try to make her talk and after let her know the consequences of her actions to the family, her decision doesn't only affect ur dad both the whole family, imagine ur sisters getting married and treating their husband in same manner, they might be send packing if such man cant tolerate like ur dad. Even your dads health is at risk here, he's not talking doesn't mean he's happy or less bothered. So man up and take charge to fix things now that you still can.

Above all, Ask God for wisdom so u can use the right words when addressing dis issues. Gud luck

sooo dumb must every advice be at a restaurant?

marque:
I don't understand what is going on in my house. Any little thing that happens between my mum and Dad she will call us (the children) and start telling us what happened but always putting the blame on my Father.

She has never explained anything and made it look like it was her fault. She is trying to paint a bad picture of our father in our eyes.

This has been going on right from when I was little but as I grew older I began to see things in a different light.

Anytime my mum brings up an issue concerning she and my Dad I try to look at things differently and see things in the other way before concluding. If I tell her what I feel and it's not in line with what she said,she'll get angry with me.

The latest was the one that happened recently. My mum was planning to go to her home town to see her family and so she needed some money from my dad to add to what she had already so she could buy some food stuff on her way. It is good to note that my mum had already travelled Last year during the Christmas celebration to see her people and my Dad gave her the money for everything she bought.

My mum works and gets paid too but she didn't use any of her money to buy those things last year. My Dad footed the bills. Now she wanted to travel again this year and My Dad refused to let her go because we just moved into our new house and there are some things which have to be bought and fixed in the house.

My Dad told her that if she wants to go it's her choice but he wouldn't give her any money as he has got some other pressing needs at the moment. My mum got angry about this and she told us.

I saw things from my father's point of view and tried to explain to her why it happened so but she got angry. She said I must always support him and that i'm not acting like "a son she gave birth to"

She has not talked to my Dad since then and anytime I greet her,she ignores me. I have two sisters,an elder and a younger one and i'm the only boy. My sister is at the ripe age of getting married but she is also supporting my mother in this,sadly.

My father doesn't seem to be bothered much though as he still goes about his normal activity but this problem is really troubling my mind and I really wish there could be an end to it.

Do mothers have to unnecessarily incite children against their fathers?

Is that why grown up children tend to cater for their mothers more and forgetting the struggle of their fathers even while they are still alive?

Matured advise please.

OP God go bless u all thru ur life. u were born with wisdom.only a special child think dis way. reason and act without emotions or bias. some mothers do dat a lot. my sister does it against her husband. I don't but into such bias because my world goes beyond d one I'm living in presently

fromnigeria:
Tell her point blank what she is doing is worng and make it clear to her that she will not succeed.

Have been der too ..my advice to u is don't get btw the two of them. Because you are a man makes you to really see the view of your father.. I really pity your Sister for believing your mum always it will surely affect her when she eventually get married. Don't always correct ur mum, if she have a close friend always tell dat one.but don't let her hate you, cos it might be dangerous for you,always make your point n let her see dat you support her always, dats wat most mother want.. Am in similar shoe like you and I try to play my politics well btw the two party. Especially my mum. So try be the man and at the same time the best son to your mum.

NOT all mothers are like that.

Talk to her respectfully. And also talk to ur sister, cos what she is learning Frm ur mum is bad and will affect her own marriage.

Pray to God to give u d wisdom to help ur family solve this

anonym0us:
sooo dumb must every advice be at a restaurant?

I will ignore u, but i hp u knw u dnt need to show how retard u r here?

Quote me again and u will remain a fool forever.

OP. This ur problem is common in most homes in Nigeria. You are not alone.

80percent of Nigeria Mothers are like ur mum. 70percent of
children actually fall for thier manupulations. That is why to many
people: Mothers are always angels while fathers are always beast.
Women are always d victim. that is how many mothers make thier
children to think.
Those saying is because she might not love ur dad are likely to be
wrong. Even when mothers love thier husband, they still want to
have most of d love and attention of d children over thier husband.
they still manipulate their children even if they love thier husband.

Most fathers are usually aware of d manipulations. they just choose to ignore.

Note: Some fathers are like women or even worse. In my own case, my father was d one trying to make me hate my mum by all means. My mum didnt even care. Fathers are not so good in manipulation because they try to do it rationally. so it doesnt work well. only about 20percent of children will fall for thier fathers manipulation. But mothers use emotion to manipulate thier children and it work on atleast 70percent of the children

Oga, thank God u finally found out.

Best thing is, stand in between the line, bring peace back Asap, try make ur sisters turn ur own side, this ur side is a side that is btw d line and want a real happy family again.

It happens in almost all families even in mine but my elder brother is the " devil may care " type and all he dose is give u any amount of money u seek.

I happened to take charge one nyt dey wia making nose and I shouted devil out of both of them especially mum cos my dad dnt have much issues. My two sisters (elders) wia just laughing.

This thing ur mum and every mum is doing is breaking homes and they may want to run dia homes d way dia own mum ran dias, or the way someone else is running her hum but it's not d answer.

Be d peace maker bro, and I trust u can.

Cheers

Op, you shouldn't bring your family matter to NL na. But i can understand that because you are young. It is very natural for women to vent and since you are her kids, she feels free doing it even though it's not proper. That's how most mothers are( some fathers do it too). That been said, here is what you should do- Absolutely Nothing! The matter still remains between your mum and dad so don't get involved. Keep greeting her. She can't keep ignoring you. Infact, she'll soon realise that you are just a neutral, responsible son that respects his parents equally. Most girls will always support their mum so don't be mad at your sister. Keep yourself busy to take your mind off the family drama. Always know when to act,talk and keep silent. I'm talking from experience.....Good Luck.