FrancisTony:
Why do ladies feel they are the one to work inorder for marriage to stand/last?

That's an inferiority complex.

lavatoz:

My dear it's the cultural mindset. Ladies are the most groomed for marriage. In marriages that break down, it's the wife that works the most to mend it. Since a lot of men are lazy in that sector; if the wife gives up the marriage is totally broken beyond repair. As long as it took two people to say I do, it's takes two people to strengthen it

Immaangel:
After marriage women are expected to make all the adjustments and changes. Ladies, here are 6 things you should never do for your man
1. Ignore Your Dreams
Just because he wants you to spend time with him or be around him always, should not make you feel guilty into turning down that big promotion or the chance to go for thyuat prestigious conference abroad. He should never ask you to make a choice between your dreams and him. There should always be a common ground to work on. Ask yourself, would you be happy in a relationship where you have to give up your hard-earned dreams? If he loves you, he will understand that your dreams and career are as important as his.
2. Modify your values
All of us have our own set of moral values and principles that we believe in. These values form our identity and individuality to a good extent. Never try to change your morals just because your man wants you to. Even if you two don’t share common values, he should always respect yours, rather than change them. This is not just about moral values; it is also about religion and beliefs. Such things cannot and should not ever be changed just because someone else wants you to do so.
3. Change Your Look
woman should never change her appearance or the way she looks only because her man desires so. Subtle changes are acceptable, like dressing and styling ones. But if he wants you to go for surgeries to change certain aspect of your appearance then never agree to it. He should admire your natural beauty and not work towards changing it. Just because he doesn’t like the way your nose looks or if he finds your ears too pointy, it should not guilt-trip you into going for something as drastic as a surgery.
4. Sacrifice your personal space
Even your family and friends need your time and attention, and this is something even you enjoy, right? So, never sacrifice your personal space and time that you should be spending with them just because he wants you to. Try to divide it and strike a balance. Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that you do not need anyone else apart from him. And, he should understand and respect that.
5. Forget Who You Are
Never try to act what you are not. Do not show that you are less intelligent than him just to boost his ego or only because it will make him happy. Men like independent women, so acting stupid is not going to help at all. Also, you should not change your likes and dislikes for him. These things make you unique. So, do not lose your individuality and identity for a man. At least, not when you are being forced to do so
6. Handing over the reins
Never give him the access to be in control of you. No matter how much you love him, the decisions should always be mutual. He should never make the final decision of what you should and shouldn’t do. Always discuss with him, but make your decision keeping your own lifestyles and choices in mind.
Ladies, keep these things in mind. There are certain aspects of your personality that you should not change for a man, even when you are in love. If you are not true to yourself, you can never be true to your relationship!

FrancisTony:

@First emboldened, it's funny how some people pick spoon-pick western culture and live others.
-By the way, it's not biblical because I expect those men that quote bible and say they want a submissive wife to abide to all biblical rules and regulations.

@Second emboldened; that's it.

bukatyne:


@OP:

Goodday

These points should be settled before courtship

1. Your husband to be should be aware of your dreams before marriage and you both must agree with one another and be ready to align your dreams and aspirations. However, some dreams might be kept on a back burner till it is convenient to fulfill them. Some dreams might never the fulfilled either. Just as you shouldn't ignore your dreams for your husband, you should not ignore your husband for your dreams. Prioritizing properly in very important. Your husband also wanting to spend time with you is a symbol of love.


2. Modify your values: you shouldn't modify/change your core values. However your husband's personality especially his weaknesses would shape your values. It is called compromise .

3. Your husband should be pleased with your appearance before saying I do. The wife should also ensures she tries to maintain What the man loved initially. I know the lines are blurred and it is easier said than done.

4. It would be hard for a non-abusive husband to infringe on your personal space. You go to work/church/make your hair/one or two parties/visit your family/chat with your friends alone So How would he infringe on your space? I think the issue is more of couples not having ample time for each other. You actually send more time apart than together. It would be unwise for a wife to send the little time they should be together always galvanting.

5. As I said, you should know and study your man during courtship. Does he like a stupid woman? Intelligent one? Demi-semi intelligent? If you did your due diligence, This should up come up at all.

6. I also believe decisions should be mutual even though you let the person with the expertise make the decisions when There is conflict. It is also not possible for you to make devisions unilaterally even when it seems to concern you alone.

With proper courtship and genuine love from bothparties, these issues should not even crop up.

Also you seem to be ttalking from a defensive point of view towards marriage: you are anticipating battle ahead already.

Take it easy

oloyede252:


hello ma,one bottle of origin for you

bukatyne:

Thanks
A bottle of water would do.
#Healthyeating when the spirit moves

bukatyne:


#Healthyeating when the spirit moves

SAMBARRY:
They're already furious. I can literally see the strands of their hair at attention




I just knew it will get some nimals mad

juicee1:
I like the way the devil is using you.

juicee1:
I like the way the devil is using you.

Timbuktou:

Ojoro

FrancisTony:
Why do ladies feel they are the one to work inorder for marriage to stand/last?

That's an inferiority complex.

teasel:


It has nothing to do with inferiority complex.
Society projects marriage as a necessity for women. Most married men in that society are as irresponsible(or more) as they were before they got married. Many Nigerian men cheat and abuse their spouses in every way possible and the woman is expected to take it because "she must stay married". Some women there are then conditioned to believe that the greater responsibility of keeping their marriage is on their shoulders, after all, their men are feckless.

lavatoz:

I know it's looks stupid to be using the internet, calling through cell phones, wearing t-shirts and trousers, listening to their music and going to school speaking in english, playing their sports, etc while holding unto strict cultural views. Moreover, The same bible they quote about submissive wives, they forgot about that part that says men should love their wives as christ loved the church. The amount of men that abide by that scripture is the size of an ebola virus

lolaredvelvet:




I'm so bored of this silly, childish statement I keep hearing from those who accept trash that comes along with western culture.

Should the culturalists in return say to you: "Stop eating traditional dishes, listening to afrobeats, wearing aso-ebi, bearing your traditional last names" etc?? Don't be ridiculous

lavatoz:

There's nothing childish in that statement. Why talk trash about western culture when emulate their elements? I'm not saying theirs is better than ours. There's no better culture on this earth. Stop condemning western values when you portray elements of westernisation yourself. There are very decorative parts of our culture that even foreigners admire but there are things that need to change to align with modern times. You have a brain try thinking before typing? Ms. Culturalist

teasel:


It has nothing to do with inferiority complex.
Society projects marriage as a necessity for women. Most married men in that society are as irresponsible(or more) as they were before they got married. Many Nigerian men cheat and abuse their spouses in every way possible and the woman is expected to take it because "she must stay married". Some women there are then conditioned to believe that the greater responsibility of keeping their marriage is on their shoulders, after all, their men are feckless.

lolaredvelvet:



No dear, EVERYTHING is childish about that statement. Going through your previous posts I see you are either single, or perhaps have suffered a great deal of heartbreak from men in life.. you sound so bitter desperate to subdue male dominance... It's pointlesss to argue with folks like you... Holla at me when you overcome your pain. Grow up.

lavatoz:

I'm not pained. No man has abused me. I have close and wonderful relationships with males from my blood relatives to friends, therefore I have no distrust for them. However, I don't fancy how most men treat women when they wouldn't want to be treated the same. If male dominance to you is all about eternal subjugation towards women they you lady need help. There are guys who have seen the constant abuse women face and are appalled by how men treat women. Why don't you ask them if they're trans-gender since they want to subdue "dominance". There's one of them on here, Francistony.

lavatoz:

I'm not pained. No man has abused me. I have close and wonderful relationships with males from my blood relatives to friends, therefore I have no distrust for them. However, I don't fancy how most men treat women when they wouldn't want to be treated the same. If male dominance to you is all about eternal subjugation towards women they you lady need help. There are guys who have seen the constant abuse women face and are appalled by how men treat women. Why don't you ask them if they're trans-gender since they want to subdue "dominance". There's one of them on here, Francistony.