I am so angry right now, i feel like my head will explode. i need you all to read what i am about to write and advice me because i dont know if i am the problem.
I am a 26 year old lady who still lives with my parents because my parents wont want to hear that i am living alone, i barely have friends and since i am still looking for a job i am always at home frm Monday to Sunday, i go out like just once or twice a month that is when i have an interview or i want to make my hair, or rush out to see my friend. during this occasion once it gets to 6:30pm my phone starts ringing repeatedly and when i pick it is shout upon shout from my parents that what the hell am i still doing outside when it is so late. i am been so honest as possible, so that u guys can tell me truthfully if i am at fault. i have a relationship and because my friend goes to work and comes back in the evenings i only sitout in his car to gist for like 30mins before he goes home. the other sunday after coming back from church i decided to step out for an occasion with my friend, time was 12:45pm in the afternoon, u needed to have seen the way my Mom started shouting on me that where am i going to, and who do i want to go and see, that i am not allowed to leave the house. and this happens all the time all tru my life. i ignored her and stubbornly went out and it wasnt funny that day when i came back. hell was let loose. i am not really the extrovert type coupled with the fact my parents dont allow us step an inch. The worst that happened this evening was when my friend came back from work and stopped by my place to see me, i sat in his car outside my house in a decent manner but unfortunately my Dad came out of the compound, saw me and when he went in he started shouting on my younger sister who is 24yrs old to come and tell me that, if he gets to come out he would come and disgrace me and give me injuries, that i want to bring disgrace and make everyone feel i wasnt trained properly, this happened some minutes past 7pm today. Please friends i want to know if i am the one being unreasonable because this entire thing is driving me insane. this whole thing is affecting my relationship life. it is so bad that once my phone rings and i am not close to my phone or it is a guy calling my Mom would pick the call and start interrogating the person or shouting on the person asking to know why he is calling me, instead of calling me to come answer my call.
please pardon my typo errors i am boiling presently so it is the cause of typing fast. Advice needed.........Lalasticlala ishilove please you guys should push this to FP i need as plenty advice as i can get.

First, do you have any past antecedent that make your parent acting this way? If not, then you need to talk to your mum and remember her your age. You need to remind her cos our parent at times can be funny, they might still be seeing you as a small girl.

You need to let her know your mates out there are already married, living independently and making decision themselves without anyone restriction.

If you can be able to pass this message to your mum, she will know how to pass across to old man.

Don't know if they have a package for you " I mean a man they want to give you to "

madridguy:
Hmmmmmmmmm

please say something i want to know if i am the problem, because this whole thing is driving me nuts

Tell that ur friend to engage you properly, meet your parents and let his intentions opened to them.....


I see the problem coming from you....

You know the kind of parents that you have and so you should be able to know what they like and dislike....


Again, go and look for a job to do...stop staying indoors... learn skills or get busy... 26yrs old and nothing crosses your mind except boyfriend??

Try as much as possible to get a job. Although with the pressure and how they treat a matured adult like you, it might seem impossible to be stable enough to apply for jobs. Get a job first and after the first 2 months, try and see if you could share an apartment with a female friend first. Please no matter what, don't go and live with your boyfriend. Take control politely and make them see reasons.

Adviceplease:
I am so angry right now, i feel like my head will explode. i need you all to read what i am about to write and advice me because i dont know if i am the problem.
I am a 26 year old lady who still leaves with my parents because my parents wont want to hear that i am living alone, i barely have friends and since i am still looking for a job i am always at home frm Monday to Sunday, i go out like just once or twice a month that is when i have an interview or i want to make my hair, or rush out to see my friend. during this occasion once it gets to 6:30pm my phone starts ringing repeatedly and when i pick it is shout upon shout from my parents that what the hell am i still doing outside when it is so late. i am been so honest as possible, so that u guys can tell me truthfully if i am at fault. i have a relationship and because my friend goes to work and comes back in the evenings i only sitout in his car to gist for like 30mins before he goes home. the other sunday after coming back from church i decided to step out for an occasion with my friend, time was 12:45pm in the afternoon, u needed to have seen the way my Mom started shouting on me that where am i going to, and who do i want to go and see, that i am not allowed to leave the house. and this happens all the time all tru my life. i ignored her and stubbornly went out and it wasnt funny that day when i came back. hell was let loose. i am not really the extrovert type coupled with the fact my parents dont allow us step an inch. The worst that happened this evening was when my friend came back from work and stopped by my place to see me, i sat in his car outside my house in a decent manner but unfortunately my Dad came out of the compound, saw me and when he went in he started shouting on my younger sister who is 24yrs old to come and tell me that, if he gets to come out he would come and disgrace me and give me injuries, that i want to bring disgrace and make everyone feel i wasnt trained properly, this happened some minutes past 7pm today. Please friends i want to know if i am the one being unreasonable because this entire thing is driving me insane. this whole thing is affecting my relationship life. please pardon my typo errors i am boiling presently so it is the cause of typing fast. Advice needed.........Lalasticlala ishilove please you guys should push this to FP i need as plenty advice as i can get.

Your parents are simply doing what they are supposed to do, do not take offence or misunderstand them. First thing you have to understand is that you are their investment and they will protect their investment in anyway they deem necessary so that the value does not depreciate.
They don't want to see you in your friend's car, rather in your husband's car. What stops your friend from coming for your introduction so that your family will not be pissed off when they see you with him because he has officially declared his intention towards you.
Remember all your parents are doing is for your best interest, yes sometimes they can be very annoying but it's all for your own good, because they don't want any shame in the family.

Ask them what they want from you...
Cos to get a job is by God's time...

I have advice for u.... BUT SADLY YOU CAN NOT DO IT....
If you ever went for NYSC.... am sure u can not come and sit back in the house.
anyway... here are things u can do.


GO AND LIVE WITH A FRIEND IN ANOTHER STATE...... A female friend o... someone whom your parents can call to confirm... tell them u got a job there.

START A BUSINESS... visit my thread and you will see a business u can do with only 10k and its not marketing.. and u will not be paying me to learn

This is simple... but u must be very sure that its a ONE WAY TICKET. Once u decide to be independent JUST DO IT and NEVER EVER LOOK BACK.... Visit home but never stay over.

above all.... SUCCEED.... SUCCESS SHUTS MOUTHS UP.

Adviceplease:
I am so angry right now, i feel like my head will explode. i need you all to read what i am about to write and advice me because i dont know if i am the problem.
I am a 26 year old lady who still lives with my parents because my parents wont want to hear that i am living alone, i barely have friends and since i am still looking for a job i am always at home frm Monday to Sunday, i go out like just once or twice a month that is when i have an interview or i want to make my hair, or rush out to see my friend. during this occasion once it gets to 6:30pm my phone starts ringing repeatedly and when i pick it is shout upon shout from my parents that what the hell am i still doing outside when it is so late. i am been so honest as possible, so that u guys can tell me truthfully if i am at fault. i have a relationship and because my friend goes to work and comes back in the evenings i only sitout in his car to gist for like 30mins before he goes home. the other sunday after coming back from church i decided to step out for an occasion with my friend, time was 12:45pm in the afternoon, u needed to have seen the way my Mom started shouting on me that where am i going to, and who do i want to go and see, that i am not allowed to leave the house. and this happens all the time all tru my life. i ignored her and stubbornly went out and it wasnt funny that day when i came back. hell was let loose. i am not really the extrovert type coupled with the fact my parents dont allow us step an inch. The worst that happened this evening was when my friend came back from work and stopped by my place to see me, i sat in his car outside my house in a decent manner but unfortunately my Dad came out of the compound, saw me and when he went in he started shouting on my younger sister who is 24yrs old to come and tell me that, if he gets to come out he would come and disgrace me and give me injuries, that i want to bring disgrace and make everyone feel i wasnt trained properly, this happened some minutes past 7pm today. Please friends i want to know if i am the one being unreasonable because this entire thing is driving me insane. this whole thing is affecting my relationship life. please pardon my typo errors i am boiling presently so it is the cause of typing fast. Advice needed.........Lalasticlala ishilove please you guys should push this to FP i need as plenty advice as i can get.

Over protective parents like someone said earlier tell your friend to come and do a formal introduction. E no easy

clarocuzioo:
Your parents are simply doing what they are supposed to do, do not take offence or misunderstand them. First thing you have to understand is that you are their investment and they will protect their investment in anyway they deem necessary so that the value does not depreciate.
They don't want to see you in your friend's car, rather in your husband's car. What stops your friend from coming for your introduction so that your family will not be pissed off when they see you with him because he has officially declared his intention towards you.
Remember all your parents are doing is for your best interest, yes sometimes they can be very annoying but it's all for your own good, because they don't want any shame in the family.

thanks for the advice but you dont just meet a guy and the next minute he goes to your parents for introduction, without building up on something first.

Adviceplease:
please say something i want to know if i am the problem, because this whole thing is driving me nuts

My sister, apply to a make up or baking school. Join your church group and stuff. learn to do your small small waka with sense. You aren't being deceitful, but you'll get your space and they'll get their peace of mind. Since the bird has learnt to fly without perching, the Hunter must learn to shoot without missing.

Just tell your man that anytime he want to see you, he should walk into your house and ask of you even if your daddy is there, he just need to greet them politely and ask for you politely. If the hubby is really interested in marrying you, he would be bold to come to meet with your parents, your parent acted in the best way. At your age you are not expected to be hanging out with any man except he comes to your house for visitation and you too pay him visitation.

clarocuzioo:
Your parents are simply doing what they are supposed to do, do not take offence or misunderstand them. First thing you have to understand is that you are their investment and they will protect their investment in anyway they deem necessary so that the value does not depreciate.
They don't want to see you in your friend's car, rather in your husband's car. What stops your friend from coming for your introduction so that your family will not be pissed off when they see you with him because he has officially declared his intention towards you.
Remember all your parents are doing is for your best interest, yes sometimes they can be very annoying but it's all for your own good, because they don't want any shame in the family.

what kind of shame would i bring to them, that i did not bring all this while.

Your parents deserve some accolades.

You have one of the best African parents and you should be thankful and grateful.

I support their act and rough handling, i'll do the worse if I'm to be your father If I'm opportune to meet your parents, i'll advice them to give you 24 strokes of cane whenever they see you in a man's car.
Posing in a man's car before them shows that you are prioritizing men without minding your idle and jobless state

When a lady is idle and broke with no job, it takes the grace of God for her to keep her body and pride intact, and with their strictness, you dare not fvck up so long as you are under their roof
Your age doesn't matter atall

Fact; No parents will be happy to see their kid stay idle at home from morning to night, Sunday to Saturday, and month to month.


Put yourself in their shoes as a mother and check if you'll be happy to see your jobless daughter pose in front of a man's car discussing.

Go find something doing, don't be lazy, the fact you are a lady doesn't mean you shouldn't be bothered about taking responsibilities, be agile, you must not wait for office work, look for money and start a business of recharge card and selling of fufu, keep yourself busy and watch how they'll change for good.

You are your parents investment and the only way to save yourself from this parental hubbub and brouhaha, from this parental kerfuffle and ruckus is to find something doing, you don't expect them to be happy, stop making them see you as an unserious woman, be proactive, be focused, if you must discuss with a man, discuss something productive that can find you a job. No time.

The pussay of an idle and jobless lady is a diick's workshop

yanabasee:
Tell that ur friend to engage you properly, meet your parents and let his intentions opened to them.....


I see the problem coming from you....

You know the kind of parents that you have and so you should be able to know what they like and dislike....


Again, go and look for a job to do...stop staying indoors... learn skills or get busy... 26yrs old and nothing crosses your mind except boyfriend??

i have tried everything i can, getting a job most times when i have to submitt my c.v at a place or go for an interview, they start complaining that i shudnt go or that kind of place is not good to work at, several times i have complained that ok they shud help me out in getting a job but it is one excuse or the other or keep post poning it.

madridguy:
First, do you have any past antecedent that make your parent acting this way? If not, then you need to talk to your mum and remember her your age. You need to remind her cos our parent at times can be funny, they might still be seeing you as a small girl.

You need to let her know your mates out there are already married, living independently and making decision themselves without anyone restriction.

If you can be able to pass this message to your mum, she will know how to pass across to old man.

Don't know if they have a package for you " I mean a man they want to give you to "

i have never done anything in the past to make them question my character, its is so bad that once my phone rings and i am not close to my phone or it is a guy calling my Mom would pick the call and start interrogating the person to know why he is calling me, instead of calling me to come answer my call.

chiddyok:

My sister, apply to a make up or baking school. Join your church group and stuff. learn to do your small small waka with sense. You aren't being deceitful, but you'll get your space and they'll get their peace of mind. Since the bird has learnt to fly without perching, the Hunter must learn to shoot without missing.

my brother it is so bad that i cant even attend church programs from different churches except ours, and even when i go for ours once it gets to 7pm they want me to fly back home, even if the service is not closed.

azelab:
Just tell your man that anytime he want to see you, he should walk into your house and ask of you even if your daddy is there, he just need to greet them politely and ask for you politely. If the hubby is really interested in marrying you, he would be bold to come to meet with your parents, your parent acted in the best way. At your age you are not expected to be hanging out with any man except he comes to your house for visitation and you too pay him visitation.

my parents wont allow any kind of visitation if it is not marriage visitation, and how do u just get married to someone without going into a relationship first, it has always been like this since i became a teen uptil now, if a guy calls and calls that i should hang out and i dont because of my parents restrictions, once he comes to the house to look for me and they ask him if he is coming for marriage and he doesnt give a positive answer they just act rude to the person and sends him away not caring to find out if we just met.

A father came out of his gate and met her precious daughter sitting in a car with a man he doesn't know?? Some fathers go give the guy race with gun. On that side you are wrong. You are 26 and your guy should have the courage to come and see your father.
Apart from this part, I think your parents is being too protective. Speak to mama am sure she will understand.

My arsenal lost ..... My dick can't even rise this night so I will transfer aggression on my girl

this is serious, at 26 your parents are still treating you like a teen.

You're 26 and an adult, maybe you're even going to be 27 this year. Ur parents are being controlling n at ur age, there's nothing good about that. U gotta get a job or start a business if u can't find a job, save up, then move out. As long as u r still there, they won't change.

lalasticlala , mynd44 , seun

Adviceplease:
i have tried everything i can, getting a job most times when i have to submitt my c.v at a place or go for an interview, they start complaining that i shudnt go or that kind of place is not good to work at, several times i have complained that ok they shud help me out in getting a job but it is one excuse or the other or keep post poning it.

Just get a job...and start working.... And don't listen to them...

In fact, go out there and pursue a job... Do anything and learn to keep some things from ur parents and siblings...

You're 26....act like it...


When you eventually start working, they will let you be...especially if you buy them breads when returning from work!!!

Adviceplease:
my brother it is so bad that i cant even attend church programs from different churches except ours, and even when i go for ours once it gets to 7pm they want me to fly back home, even if the service is not closed.

Don't wait till night before you step out. It's even safer and easier for you to do your stuff in the morning or on Saturdays. As for being seen with the dude around your house, kindly avoid it. Just be patient and pray. You'll be okay.

This is serious if your mom is still seeing you as a girl monitoring you. Dialogue is the way out cos picking your call without your approval is somehow.

Adviceplease:
i have never done anything in the past to make them question my character, its is so bad that once my phone rings and i am not close to my phone or it is a guy calling my Mom would pick the call and start interrogating the person to know why he is calling me, instead of calling me to come answer my call.

Adviceplease:
I am so angry right now, i feel like my head will explode. i need you all to read what i am about to write and advice me because i dont know if i am the problem.
I am a 26 year old lady who still lives with my parents because my parents wont want to hear that i am living alone, i barely have friends and since i am still looking for a job i am always at home frm Monday to Sunday, i go out like just once or twice a month that is when i have an interview or i want to make my hair, or rush out to see my friend. during this occasion once it gets to 6:30pm my phone starts ringing repeatedly and when i pick it is shout upon shout from my parents that what the hell am i still doing outside when it is so late. i am been so honest as possible, so that u guys can tell me truthfully if i am at fault. i have a relationship and because my friend goes to work and comes back in the evenings i only sitout in his car to gist for like 30mins before he goes home. the other sunday after coming back from church i decided to step out for an occasion with my friend, time was 12:45pm in the afternoon, u needed to have seen the way my Mom started shouting on me that where am i going to, and who do i want to go and see, that i am not allowed to leave the house. and this happens all the time all tru my life. i ignored her and stubbornly went out and it wasnt funny that day when i came back. hell was let loose. i am not really the extrovert type coupled with the fact my parents dont allow us step an inch. The worst that happened this evening was when my friend came back from work and stopped by my place to see me, i sat in his car outside my house in a decent manner but unfortunately my Dad came out of the compound, saw me and when he went in he started shouting on my younger sister who is 24yrs old to come and tell me that, if he gets to come out he would come and disgrace me and give me injuries, that i want to bring disgrace and make everyone feel i wasnt trained properly, this happened some minutes past 7pm today. Please friends i want to know if i am the one being unreasonable because this entire thing is driving me insane. this whole thing is affecting my relationship life. it is so bad that once my phone rings and i am not close to my phone or it is a guy calling my Mom would pick the call and start interrogating the person or shouting on the person asking to know why he is calling me, instead of calling me to come answer my call.
please pardon my typo errors i am boiling presently so it is the cause of typing fast. Advice needed.........Lalasticlala ishilove please you guys should push this to FP i need as plenty advice as i can get.

Talk to your mum, if she doesnt listen, talk to a close family or family friend to help talk to your parents, if they still dont listen, you gotta deliver yourself by force, they are doing you more harm than good,

@26 you cant take decisions for yourself, this is when you are supposed to lay the foundation of what you want your life to be like.

Act fast.. if you have to have rude about it, sorry its your life.. either act now and be free or stay humble and watch urself live a life of dependency.

Adviceplease:
my parents wont allow any kind of visitation if it is not marriage visitation, and how do u just get married to someone without going into a relationship first, it has always been like this since i became a teen uptil now, if a guy calls and calls that i should hang out and i dont because of my parents restrictions, once he comes to the house to look for me and they ask him if he is coming for marriage and he doesnt give a positive answer they just act rude to the person and sends him away not caring to find out if we just met.

African parents are known to always expect their daughter never to date, to finish university and just go to their husband's house.
How do you get a husband when you're not allowed to talk to the male gender, talkmore of dating?
That's one equation that's difficult to solve
Meanwhile ask your mum her age when she started dating your dad, you will be surprised she already had 2 children at your age.
Anyway, hope your friend is not married and pretending to be single. There are a lot of predators out there waiting to deceive the gullible.

Hi dear, we are in the same situation just that yours is worse cos it's from your parents. Mine is from extended family & I must be at home by 7pm. See babe, dress up & go out during the weekends, tell them you are going for an event. Don't listen to anything they say , develop deaf ears but make sure you come back early. Don't stay at home every day or else they will expect to always see you staying at home.
Secondly, tell your mum not to pick your calls. That's an insult to you, you must be sturbon about it. Stop telling them your every move & the places you apply to for jobs. You are an adult, keep things to yourself.
Have a talk with your mother & let her know that you don't like the way she acts. My own mum complains that I'm always at home on Saturdays�, she tells me to go & visit people. If she refuses to listen then please, start saving money to get your own place or else you will forever be dependent on them. Be aggressive with your job search, even if the salary is small please start so you can be leaving the house & meeting people. You can still get better paying jobs with your experience on the small one.
Please make plans to move out, their over protective nature will only tie you down. Deliver yourself from them. Cheers.

26? And being caged like that?


By the time you are 33, they are the ones that will start putting pressure on you and frustrating you about not being married.

When you go out, you don't have to pick up their calls till you get home. Put your phone on silent. When you get back and they shout, don't respond. Be very miserly with words. Do not give too much information.

Become reserved and try to avoid confrontation with them.

Then one day, tell them that you are moving in with your friend. If they shout, remain calm but do what you need to do. You need space.

You are an adult. Parents are not right all the time. They just try to do what they feel is right.

What stops u from introducing the guy to your parents as your friend? That way he can stop by and say hello to everyone and u chat with him. Truth is my parents also would have felt disrespected if a guy parks outside the compound without saying hello. Seems like they are quite religious too...they might be worried bout being seen as condoning evil. Pele... e go better.