1. Look within. Take time to look at yourself within and
ask yourself in what way you may be holding yourself back
from reaching all the love you really want - whether you
are in a relationship now or not.

These ways of holding yourself back include not allowing
the truly sexy you to emerge. This does not mean being
obviously on the prowl for a man. It does mean being
honest with yourself about your true desires and needs.

It also means taking a good look at what gets in your
way of loving and being loved. It could be that you
allow things to hinder you.

Our looks, for example, are very important when it
comes to attracting love. We all instinctively know
this, yet at times, some of us resist this truth,
and there are good and logical reasons why we do.

But look at it this way - if you applied for a job,
would it be acceptable to arrive at the interview
looking shabby? How do you shape up when it comes
to applying for romance? Why do we expect men to accept
us "the way we are" when we know good and well that if
we knew we were going to run into THAT man from our past
today in the market, we'd darn well remember where we put
that mascara!

2. Check your baggage! Recently I had to rent a car since
mine was in the shop. A handsome man from the car rental
place drove me to my rental car, and for some odd reason,
I mentioned the kind of books I write. This started a great
conversation.

He told me that the girl he liked had told him right
from the start that she had been terribly hurt in the
past, and she didn't want to go through that again. In
fact, even her mother got on the phone and gave him the
same speech. I asked him how old the woman was - she's
26!! (I smelled lots of hazards ahead for this guy,
but he still liked the girl - miraculously. I sure hope
he's just as crazy about her mom because obviously she
will be very involved every step of the way!)

Naturally, my first thought was that this girl made
a big mistake by telling him how hurt she has been
in the past - or rather, by telling him that right
in the beginning of their relationship! She was
bringing her baggage from the past and dumping it
in an innocent guy's lap. No wonder he was already
convinced that women like jerks.

Check your bags - the past is over and done with. It
has nothing to do with Mr. Right Now - unless YOU
are consciously choosing a clone of Mr. Past! We
hope not!

3. After you deal with those inner issues - and
keep dealing with them as much as you need to -
then look at the message you send to the world
by the way you carry yourself.