nilla:

who's breasts are you talking about

Nilla's.

How did the reverend Paul of "the fighting temptations" put it? Let's see. . .

They know how to make a man say "Amen!" when he's at home.

By the way, the next sentence also refers to the same part of the anatomy.

Nilla's a beaut, isn't she?

nilla:

so you want me to judge "Nilla" "Madre" and "Deja Vu"

Yes, please.

Thank you.

Beauty? lets leave that for the beholder .


will put my critique for those 3 poems later then.

nilla:

Beauty? lets leave that for the beholder

I am the beholder.

That is the essence of the poem. It attempts to show you a picture of words. As far as the poem is concerned, I know Nilla more than anyone else (including yourself).

Are you saying that I have not succeeded in making you think of Nilla as a great beauty or [for the male] have I not succeeded in making you wish for a more informal (and perhaps more intimate) rendezvous with her?

If I did not succeed in doing that, then the objective of the poem is lost. It was a failed attempt.

Now put me out of my misery, Nilla. Did I succeed?

Genial:


I am the beholder.

That is the essence of the poem. It attempts to show you a picture of words. As far as the poem is concerned, I know Nilla more than anyone else (including yourself).

Are you saying that I have not succeeded in making you think of Nilla as a great beauty or [for the male] have I not succeeded in making you wish for a more informal (and perhaps more intimate) rendezvous with her?

If I did not succeed in doing that, then the objective of the poem is lost. It was a failed attempt.

Now put me out of my misery, Nilla. Did I succeed?

Misery be gone. you succeeded. it wasnt a failed attempt.
Are you feeling better now .

Tribute

Mother though you're gone,
Thoughts of you are ever fresh in me,
I still hear your loving voice,
Feel your tender touch,
It feels like you're still there,
Till realization hits me,
And I discover you've been snatched by death
as it slowly ate you
While I stood helpless
The night before I remember you say goodnight
as if you knew it was to be the last
Adieu Adieu dear mum:
Though you're gone, I know you watch me
Up there in the Grandstands,
As I run the race of life.
Soon we shall be together never to part again
Till then,

nilla:

Misery be gone. you succeeded. it wasnt a failed attempt.
Are you feeling better now .

Yes indeed, thank you.

Though whether that is due to your reply or to the cyber kiss is another question entirely.

monister:

Tribute

Mother though you're gone,
Thoughts of you are ever fresh in me,
I still hear your loving voice,
Feel your tender touch,
It feels like you're still there,
Till realization hits me,
And I discover you've been snatched by death
as it slowly ate you
While I stood helpless
The night before I remember you say goodnight
as if you knew it was to be the last
Adieu Adieu dear mum:
Though you're gone, I know you watch me
Up there in the Grandstands,
As I run the race of life.
Soon we shall be together never to part again
Till then,

monister,

good work. very touching and moving.

Genial:

Yes indeed, thank you.

Though whether that is due to your reply or to the cyber kiss is another question entirely.

ok what is it due to?

@monister
that poem made me cry
i also have one i wrote for my mum

ok guys pls dont get me crying too.

monister:

Tribute

Mother though you're gone,
Thoughts of you are ever fresh in me,
I still hear your loving voice,
Feel your tender touch,
It feels like you're still there,
Till realization hits me,
And I discover you've been snatched by death
as it slowly ate you
While I stood helpless
The night before I remember you say goodnight
as if you knew it was to be the last
Adieu Adieu dear mum:
Though you're gone, I know you watch me
Up there in the Grandstands,
As I run the race of life.
Soon we shall be together never to part again
Till then,

Quite emotional, Monister. Was that an error?

nilla:

ok what is it due to?

You know what I think of Nilla, and effect she has on [i]man[/i]kind. What do you think it's due to?

Better still, what would you have it due to?

_{Wipe your tears, Princess. It will be well.}

Monister, i love the natural  nature of your poem _{i hope you understand what that means}

Genial:

You know what I think of Nilla, and effect she has on [i]man[/i]kind. What do you think it's due to?

Better still, what would you have it due to?

_{Wipe your tears, Princess. It will be well.}

your the poet. you should answer what you want it to be due to. i think  i will be fine with either.

and now I'm thinking somebody else should judge "Nilla", "Madre" and "Deja vu", cos i wont be fair  

nope no error Genial

Ok, Monister. I apologise.

You probably wanted to use the characters ". . .", and it was converted to ",".

nilla:

your the poet. you should answer what you want it to be due to. i think i will be fine with either.

and now I'm thinking somebody else should judge "Nilla", "Madre" and "Deja vu", because i wont be fair

And now I'm thinking of Nilla.

Genial:

And now I'm thinking of Nilla.

Meanwhile you didnt make any comment on my first ever poem

My mother will never die
and if she did, I'd cry
but she won't, never,
so we'll be together, for ever.



Monister, thanks for your poem and welcome to this thread.

somegirl:


My mother will never die
and if she did, I'd cry
but she won't, never,
so we'll be together, for ever.

your very good at using a poem to respond to other poems.

Nilla, I am enjoying it. Gwatala set me up on this game. Hopefully, he'll be back one day. I miss him ---

nilla:

Meanwhile you didnt make any comment on my first ever poem

I'm sorry, darling.

I suppose I should still have commented, even though I felt somegirl and macalurs had done you some degree of justice with their comments.

I think it was a really good first attempt. I also love your unabashed declaration of love for the motherland.

Good one.

Has that by any chance straightened the furrows of displeasure on your forehead?

somegirl:

Nilla, I am enjoying it. Gwatala set me up on this game. Hopefully, he'll be back one day. I miss him ---

cool. will check out his thread sometime. Can see your having fun

Genial:

I'm sorry, darling.

I suppose I should still have commented, even though I felt somegirl and macalurs had done you some degree of justice with their comments.

I think it was a really good first attempt. I also love your unabashed declaration of love for the motherland.

Good one.

Has that by any chance straightened the furrows of displeasure on your forehead?

good, no more frowns, only smiles

Recently I overheard two lovers in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough."She in turn said, John our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Sharon." They kissed and she left.

He (john) walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?"

"Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my beloved john had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked.

"whan am gone she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead, and the reality is, the next trip back will be for my wedding to her he said.

"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say,'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?"

He began to smile, "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.

"When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory:

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye.

crazykid
thats interesting. Is it original?

Mama why?
Mama why did you have to leave me all alone?
When I was on the shores of adulthood
Why didn’t you wait so I could make you proud
Sitting here remembering all the days
I made you cry,smile and played silly games on you
Remember how you used to scold me when I was wrong
Applauded me when I was right
Sing for me when I was down
Laugh at me when I was also tricked
I wake up each morning hoping to hear you call me
Glance at my phone every minute waiting . . . . .
Mama I cant believe that you are gone
People tell me to learn to cope with it
How can they say that?
Don’t they know that I miss you so much
I cried myself to sleep for days after you left
I stopped eating,couldn’t sleep,
I stopped talking altogether
Instead I let my fingers do the talking for me on the computer
I am afraid to open to mouth cuz all that comes out is
Mama why to no one but you
I love you miyonta and I will always do,

ok guys this is not for the competition but for the Queen of my heart

mukina girl,

very very lovely.
good one.

Like I said earlier, i don't think i'm fit to judge "Madre", "Deja vu" and "Nilla".
_{somegirl, chiluv and mukina help,}

Anyways my comments.

"Nilla"
ofcourse we know i already like it and have already over commented.




"Madre"

But her eyes seem focused, dirty and focused.

By God, I wonder where she comes from,
Maybe I should wonder where she goes.
But those eyes stare like royalty, who is she?
Who could she be? A queen? A warriors widow?

And we all wonder where is Nigeria going. whats our future going to be like.

She is dirty, she must smell. But she's in my arms smelly or not.
She's out. How long has she but walked? She needs water

thats just it, Nigeria needs to be quenched of her thirst.
thirst for good. thirst for the will to move forward.

those were the parts i really really liked.

"Deja Vu"

'Deja Vu'

A cold  drizzly moonlight night,
Somewhere in the woods lying in hay,
Only the moon kept our wet bodies in sight,
Where love alone had a say.

Naked as we first were,
Our hands and tongues wander in febrile fire,
The earlope, neckline, nipples, backline, public hair,,
Giggles, kisses, ecstasy
Like it never were.
Licking and tracing,
Moving down the navel,
While a hand caresses and squeezes,
I find and make an ice-cream of it.
Farther down the region,
Climbing with fingers and everything within my mouth,
leaving my warm tracks moist,
You convulse in round and rounds of orgasm.
Weak but undone,
You pull and push me in, in phases,
Slidding deep and deeper into your warm slippery pot,
Until the very end leaves me cooking and breathless.
Your eyes urge me on with legs wrapt round thighs
They keep me locked and rocking,
A slow continuous rhythmic ritual,
A streaming orgasmic dance,
Till we're done but lost in embrace and breath.

A little turn,
And I jolt out of sleep biting fingers,
Cos it really never was,
And I'm all messed up.

Your poem lived up to your title. I must say i prefered the first and last paragraphs, and thats just because I'm more of a hidden meanings person. Would have loved it much more if the middle paragraphs weren't so obvious.
But it is a good one.

*Applauds* Good going, judge. Perhaps we shall together analyse all the poems starting from page 1. What say ye?

_{Still thinking of Nilla.}

Genial:

*Applauds* Good going, judge. Perhaps we shall together analyse all the poems starting from page 1. What say ye?

_{Still thinking of Nilla.}

we can analyze all of that if you want to. I've got time on my hands.

_{why are you thinking of me. Meanwhile i sent you an offline. dont you use your msn?}

Poem: Toni
Author: Franc1982

" Toni "

it's colourfully beautiful to watch the sunsets,
reflect while birds return to their nests,
walk while the moon glows,
bask in the company of solitude,
'because you miss a friend,
a wonderful kind.

just like poetry,
our perceptions create an alluring ambiance within.

these lines,
a reflection of a naturalistic desire,
flies so high on the wings of your thought,
your voice,consideration and care,
an elixir,
that type centered around the fondness of you.

just like tulip,
so beautiful and never lacks admiration.

that's how a union is,
how it should be,
a true definition of friendship,
what i think we are,
an institution of humane minds,
a dedication to you.

just like graphics,
a whole lot is put into it because it's worth it.

Shall we begin?

_{*You sent me an offline? I've been online all day on my msn. Perhaps you should let me contact you?*}