Kollyman:

3 your infidelity ..
This is a controversial one,I believe in faithfulness ,let me make that clear first of all.Women being emotional beings feel the guilt of infidelity more than men.It is wrong to cheat,I will not condone it and by Gods grace will never .However,if you happen to err as humans often do and are remorseful, repent and confess to your God and take that secret to your grave. Revealing it can be disastrous and will serve no purpose.Just go and sin no more .If you are a habitual cheat,of course you should seek divorce rather than living in deception.

Keeping this from your hubby is like seating on a keg of gun powder. If he gets to find out by himself most especially where you were once an Olosho (Hooker), your own don finish.

AZeD1:
For all those who think people shouldn't come clean should people reveal their HIV/genotype status to their partners?

If yes please state the reason.

cococandy:
You will be greatly misunderstood.
And misinterpreted on this thread.
It's a controversial one.

Wait for it.

Ploutos:
InZA,

Your thoughts.

kilode100:


You think
Smh for you!


Newsflash!!... There are people with worse crimes and BTW,there are more from where that came from..


I haven't even told him about the my canine experiences yet, and he is already on the run..


Woof Woof....
Yea right.

Gaborone:
I beg to differ...I don't agree with Number 3.

You cheat on your spouse, you tell them, otherwise, every other day in the marriage would be a lie. If confessing sounds like a difficult thing to do, then stay away from the crime.

It's one of those things that doesnt just go away, and confessing it to God alone isn't enough; you have to confess it to the other party who you swore to be faithful to.

^^^^
This is the message we should preach, not deceit through silence.

babyosisi:


I guess controversy is my middle name
Every wise woman knows the things I wrote there are 100% truth
Something prompted this thread
I have watched a marriage where the man had cheated many times then separated a few times.THey came back together and he moved to the guest room and totally neglected her then in that weak moment after months of torture,she had sex with an older family friend who basically took advantage of her vulnerability ,one day when the marriage seemed to be on the up,filled with guilt and without wisdom she knelt down ,cried and confessed and he divorced her.
True story
Up till this moment every story is about her cheating no one ever mentions his

If she had come to me with her guilt,God knows I would have advised her to shut her mouth .
SHe also regrets confessing
[size=18pt]
So ladies,if you are a good woman who wandered, confess to your God and keep your mouth shut [/size]

1stCitizen:


The man cheated and the onus laid on her to walk away but she did not. She did the same and the man also had the opportunity of making a decision. I repeat, God will never bless any marriage built on FRAUD. Stop encouraging fraud

AZeD1:

Stop spreading the fallacy of everybody has secrets or everybody has a past (when i say past i mean a shady past).
Lots of people don't have skeletons in their cupboards, if you do, you should be man/woman enough to own up and admit it.

babyosisi:


Infact if a man is cheating without remorse and the wife is also doing her thing on the side without remorse ,I won't even condemn her
They fit each other.they are a perfect match.ket her even come home with strange kids,if won't condemn her in that situation,
That is a different thread though

babyosisi:


I guess controversy is my middle name
Every wise woman knows the things I wrote there are 100% truth
Something prompted this thread
I have watched a marriage where the man had cheated many times then separated a few times.THey came back together and he moved to the guest room and totally neglected her then in that weak moment after months of torture,she had sex with an older family friend who basically took advantage of her vulnerability ,one day when the marriage seemed to be on the up,filled with guilt and without wisdom she knelt down ,cried and confessed and he divorced her.
True story
Up till this moment every story is about her cheating no one ever mentions his

If she had come to me with her guilt,God knows I would have advised her to shut her mouth .
SHe also regrets confessing

So ladies,if you are a good woman who wandered, confess to your God and keep your mouth shut

Ploutos:
The same God said confess your faults one to another.

There is no repentance without confession. Truth is, if you have an ugly past, get over it yourself first. Amend your ways (if you haven't) and love the new you. Anyone that finds it difficult to accept your past doesn't love you. This is what love is - not the feeling.
Yes it matters! It matters a lot. Any information that will the decision to sign the dotted lines matters. Else, you would be living a lie and committing fraud. Just so you know, ugly truths always have way of coming to the surface.

PS: Opening up applies to both the man and woman.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

BABE3:


hmm. I hear that all the time. Do we all have secrets or its just something we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better about our secrets?

Gaborone:
I beg to differ...I don't agree with Number 3.

You cheat on your spouse, you tell them, otherwise, every other day in the marriage would be a lie. If confessing sounds like a difficult thing to do, then stay away from the crime.

It's one of those things that doesnt just go away, and confessing it to God alone isn't enough; you have to confess it to the other party who you swore to be faithful to.

^^^^
This is the message we should preach, not deceit through silence.

InZA:



There's no part of the Op's post that resonates with me. I absolutely, completely and emphatically disagree with all her points from 1 to 3 and any other number that follows after, from the same source.


It is clearly written in the good book that prescribes the tenets for marriage -

"A man shall leave his father and his mother and shall CLEAVE [be joined], to his wife and the [previously, before, up until now] two, shall become one flesh [united, inseparable, a reflection of each other] "


Adhering to the quoted verse above, it is absolutely impossible to hide anything from your spouse because by implication, you've become your spouse and your spouse has become you. When you look into the mirror... You see your spouse.... If that is the case, can you hide any injury from yourself?... If you stand in front of the mirror is there any part of your body that is hidden from your conscious self?.

I believe you should bare everything to your spouse. If your are going to leave out your past or any such elements like that, it means your spouse is not marrying you, the whole you, he's only marrying the fraction you have chosen to allow him know and that defeats the concept of onesness in marriage.


#Mythoughts

Jahblessme:
HOLY!! HOLY!!! HOLY!!!

I love how when its woman matter they all start preaching confess confess.
Those people talking no vex oo but have you confessed totally how many prostitues you slept with or you are still sleeping with?

How about the one night stands?

How about the times you got your ex pregnant and she aborted?

Our society is NOT the right environment for any female to confess anything.If your brother comes and tells you his gf had 6 abortions, cheated on him or was an ashana won't you be the first to say dump her?? No matter how courageous she was or how reformed? Na una go scream 'harlot' pass.


Aren't 95% of you virgin hunters?? Una go poke but want to marry unpoked.Sorry.No wonder hymen repair is rampant.Sleep around, then go and become virgin again to fool d fools.And they'll be boasting,I married her a vajinn.Disregardng soo many other things about her character which are important.Was it not the other day that some governor married a chick and claimed he was disciplined while married to his first wife of blessed memory?? This same man famed for being a man -LovePeddler with uni chicks? shouting he married his wife cos she's a vajin? he and his mother also insulted Nigerian women


Abegg when men speak like others are dirt cos of any se xual past why would any sane thinking girl come out to really really talk about her body count?


Confess ko confess ni. Only an idi ot with a past would be reallly honest to the average Nigerian man.If you are caught red handed or if there's really no way out,then you can tell the truth as much as you feel is permissible cos a good percentage of the time,it will be used against you.

If you have chopped within or without the marriage/relationship, clean mouth quietly,discuss with your maker and move on.How many times has he come to you to confess that he chopped outside too? Even most men caught in the act will deny till they are blue in the face.

Only confess if you are ready to take a gamble that the relationship will die.If you are sick of his tired ass,please go into minute details ,he will flee by himself.

If you want to talk of the past,have u dated other people? - yes or no. body count questions are usually asked by the sanctimonious - avoid answering,its not his bizniz. abortion nko- of he asks,ask him how many he has taken part in first. A non judgey guy would never ever want to go into fine details cos he believes past is past,but the one wey go ask what color of pant you were wearing for each se xual act?? Flee.

Till Nigeria stops shaming women for having and acting on their sexual urges,nothing like confession.Mr Femi Kayode released na ked pictures of his ex gf when their relationship went south and he went to the extent of shaming her family and giving details of secrets she 'confessed' to him. ladies,talk at your own risk!

After all,if confession is so good why do the men who have forgiven cheating partners lie about it and join the crowd to shout God forbid,kick her out.Simple,its cos it is a taboo for them to accept that someone shined Congo better than them and they'd be laughed at for still going on with the 'slut'.

Talk if u have HIV or life threatening disease ,just be careful what you give away in the name of 'confession'.Daz all
I deviated a lot,sorry.

babyosisi:


I guess controversy is my middle name
Every wise woman knows the things I wrote there are 100% truth
Something prompted this thread
I have watched a marriage where the man had cheated many times then separated a few times.THey came back together and he moved to the guest room and totally neglected her then in that weak moment after months of torture,she had sex with an older family friend who basically took advantage of her vulnerability ,one day when the marriage seemed to be on the up,filled with guilt and without wisdom she knelt down ,cried and confessed and he divorced her.
True story
Up till this moment every story is about her cheating no one ever mentions his

If she had come to me with her guilt,God knows I would have advised her to shut her mouth .
SHe also regrets confessing
[size=18pt]
So ladies,if you are a good woman who wandered, confess to your God and keep your mouth shut [/size]

Imagine the stains

1. The marriage is over
2. The whole world knows what you did including little kids

[size=18pt]Keep your mouths shut I say[/size]

Jahblessme:
HOLY!! HOLY!!! HOLY!!!

I love how when its woman matter they all start preaching confess confess.
Those people talking no vex oo but have you confessed totally how many prostitues you slept with or you are still sleeping with?

How about the one night stands?

How about the times you got your ex pregnant and she aborted?

Our society is NOT the right environment for any female to confess anything.If your brother comes and tells you his gf had 6 abortions, cheated on him or was an ashana won't you be the first to say dump her?? No matter how courageous she was or how reformed? Na una go scream 'harlot' pass.


Aren't 95% of you virgin hunters?? Una go poke but want to marry unpoked.Sorry.No wonder hymen repair is rampant.Sleep around, then go and become virgin again to fool d fools.And they'll be boasting,I married her a vajinn.Disregardng soo many other things about her character which are important.Was it not the other day that some governor married a chick and claimed he was disciplined while married to his first wife of blessed memory?? This same man famed for being a man -LovePeddler with uni chicks? shouting he married his wife cos she's a vajin? he and his mother also insulted Nigerian women


Abegg when men speak like others are dirt cos of any se xual past why would any sane thinking girl come out to really really talk about her body count?


Confess ko confess ni. Only an idi ot with a past would be reallly honest to the average Nigerian man.If you are caught red handed or if there's really no way out,then you can tell the truth as much as you feel is permissible cos a good percentage of the time,it will be used against you.

If you have chopped within or without the marriage/relationship, clean mouth quietly,discuss with your maker and move on.How many times has he come to you to confess that he chopped outside too? Even most men caught in the act will deny till they are blue in the face.

Only confess if you are ready to take a gamble that the relationship will die.If you are sick of his tired ass,please go into minute details ,he will flee by himself.

If you want to talk of the past,have u dated other people? - yes or no. body count questions are usually asked by the sanctimonious - avoid answering,its not his bizniz. abortion nko- of he asks,ask him how many he has taken part in first. A non judgey guy would never ever want to go into fine details cos he believes past is past,but the one wey go ask what color of pant you were wearing for each se xual act?? Flee.

Till Nigeria stops shaming women for having and acting on their sexual urges,nothing like confession.Mr Femi Kayode released na ked pictures of his ex gf when their relationship went south and he went to the extent of shaming her family and giving details of secrets she 'confessed' to him. ladies,talk at your own risk!

After all,if confession is so good why do the men who have forgiven cheating partners lie about it and join the crowd to shout God forbid,kick her out.Simple,its cos it is a taboo for them to accept that someone shined Congo better than them and they'd be laughed at for still going on with the 'slut'.

Talk if u have HIV or life threatening disease ,just be careful what you give away in the name of 'confession'.Daz all
I deviated a lot,sorry.

babyosisi:


Stop using the scripture fraudulently
There is no place the bible encourages anyone to go talking about their past
When Jesus met the prostitute the people wanted to stone,he forgave her and asked the crowd to cast a stone if they hadn't sinned
He didn't tell her to go telling the wives of all the men she had chopped to forgive her.
It wasn't necessary

The bible says let him who stole,steal no more
So let she who chopped,chop no more

Fornication is a sin one commits against one's own body
If God forgives you and you have forgiven yourself,that ends it

Gaidenk:
The Poster is actually forcing people to accept her point of view. Now that's a guilty persons action,Madam you didn't have to come to nairaland for us to help soot the decision you have made to deceive your hubby,in as much as there are more of women like you in this world,please try not to poison the character of those who have decided that openness and honesty is a virtue they will uphold. you give women a bad name.

babyosisi:

Stop using the scripture fraudulently
There is no place the bible encourages anyone to go talking about their past
When Jesus met the prostitute the people wanted to stone,he forgave her and asked the crowd to cast a stone if they hadn't sinned
He didn't tell her to go telling the wives of all the men she had chopped to forgive her.
It wasn't necessary
The bible says let him who stole,steal no more
So let she who chopped,chop no more

Fornication is a sin one commits against one's own body
If God forgives you and you have forgiven yourself,that ends it

babyosisi:


Sop using the scripture fraudulently
There is no place the bible encourages anyone to go talking about their past
When Jesus met the prostitute the people wanted to stone,he forgave her and asked the crowd to cast a stone if they hadn't sinned
He didn't tell her to go telling the wives of all the men she had chopped to forgive her.
It wasn't necessary

babyosisi:


Has he told you how many abortions he sponsored?

babyosisi:


I guess controversy is my middle name
Every wise woman knows the things I wrote there are 100% truth
Something prompted this thread
I have watched a marriage where the man had cheated many times then separated a few times.THey came back together and he moved to the guest room and totally neglected her then in that weak moment after months of torture,she had sex with an older family friend who basically took advantage of her vulnerability ,one day when the marriage seemed to be on the up,filled with guilt and without wisdom she knelt down ,cried and confessed and he divorced her.
True story
Up till this moment every story is about her cheating no one ever mentions his

If she had come to me with her guilt,God knows I would have advised her to shut her mouth .
SHe also regrets confessing
[size=18pt]
So ladies,if you are a good woman who wandered, confess to your God and keep your mouth shut [/size]

Imagine the stains

1. The marriage is over
2. The whole world knows what you did including little kids

[size=18pt]Keep your mouths shut I say[/size]

9jatatafo:


How I wish God can just open your records in the book of life and we will see how clean you are

babyosisi:


Honey,if a woman wants to cheat,for the most part the man will never find out
Men cheat foolishly with neighbors and house girls and co workers
Women who cheat are calculated and sleek
You will never know