For something that motivates so many of the decisions we make in our lives, we certainly tend to do a bad job at it more often than not. For every great sex story we have, there's probably several others that we'd rather forget. To help you on your naked adventures and hopefully prevent some awkward situations with future partners, here are ten questions you should never, under any circumstance, ask during sex.

1. What are you thinking about right now?

Really? If your partner seems distant then maybe bring it up in 5-7 minutes instead of asking for a mental summary mid-thrust. If you're suspicious that they're thinking about something else it's probably because you're staring at them like Columbo trying to analyze their psyche while you're on top of them. As soon as you ask, the person you're with is going to get flustered and start to overthink the whole thing..

2. Can you tell if it's in yet?

What sort of sticky bog have you two created down there that would require you to ask her if she can tell if it's in yet? What external part of this poor young lady's body are you ramming into that you're mistaking for her lady parts? A great way to get the answer is just by looking down. Surprise! You just made love to the bend of her knee.

3. Do you mind if I turn off the lights?

Let's say you get a little self conscious or maybe you just want to set the mood and turn off the lights. When you ask, the only thing your partner is going to hear is, "I just realized I'm in bed with the Elephant Man and before I drink away any memories of this horrid mistake, let's give my eyes a break so they don't have to see Shrek wallowing around on me like a beached sea bass." You look great or the other person wouldn't be there with you right now.

4. Can you see who just text me?

Unless you are a presidential nominee waiting to hear the ballot results, don't ever acknowledge a text during sex. "Sorry, this is really great for me, but I just got a text from Pottery Barn letting me know they have 20% off spice racks, so I really need to check and see when that sale ends." I'm fairly certain the sale isn't going to disappear in the next 15 minutes, but you can be certain of one thing that's vanished. The only thing worse than answering a text during sex is sending out mass texts during sex.

5. Do you want me to show you how to do that?

"Oh yeah that would be awesome! I can go sit in the corner if you want and then you could do like a whole routine. Maybe I'll take some notes and you could draw a couple of diagrams, then if I pass my midterms, we could try it again in 7-13 weeks?" You should always feel free to make suggestions and recommendations during sex, but when it gets to this point it's just uncomfortable and makes your partner feel like they're in boner timeout.

6. Can you remind me of your name one more time?

Are you their notary? Unless you need to fill out some legal documentation while you're changing positions there's really no need to admit that you're a trash heap that forgot their name. Asking someone's name during sex is like if your boss came to your funeral and told your mom you were late with your last few reports. It's probably not the best time for that.

7. Be honest, do you love me?

Any confession of love while inside the recipient should be considered null and void, no matter if you're male or female. When you're seconds away from happy town you'd gladly declare your undying love to an emu if it kept things in motion. If you want to have that conversation, do it immediately after or if it's that important, do it while you're still clothed. Nothing brings the sweat factory to a screeching halt like a mid-hip swivel discussion about the longevity and perceived goals of your relationship. It's like asking where you want to go to dinner in the middle of a hot dog eating contest. It's a completely valid question, but probably not the best time to ask.

8. Do I look fat from this angle?

We all get a little self-conscious when your naked body is bouncing and gyrating in front of someone you really care about, but if you're in a position that makes you feel a little dumpy, just roll. Your partner will think you're spontaneous, but in reality you just didn't want to see your belly button wiggling around like a subwoofer during a Nelly track. Plus your partner probably didn't even notice, but as soon as you say something about looking fat, you've planted the fat seed in their mind and now all they're going to be doing is looking for rouge fat patches hanging off your body.

10. Oh god, are you almost done?

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