Joy1706:

Hahahahaha! Chai! Ur on point. They never fail to say that phrase. Hypoceites

Joavid:


Its either you are broke or stingy.

I mean, you keep crying about this same thing on every thread to bash women.

Taking a lady out is totally a waste to you.

Its your type that turn women to slaves. You would prefer she come to your house always; To cook, clean and have with sex you.

I pity the woman that ends up with you.

Stillfire:

Lol, you are not far from the truth. Most Nigerian women marry strangers, that's deep Acidosis.

Moana:
hahaha trouble maker

Stillfire:


Me, I have already told God I cannot bear pain o. Notwithstanding there are women who can bear and endure strife , I don tell God make im dash them my portion.

Zi:
OP hasn't talked in the past few hours.
I guess the "confrontation" is taking place now

Brownie, my thoughts and prayers are with you this difficult time.

5minsmadness:

Very true words right there!

They have no problem going to these places but will open threads of hypocrisy when the man tells them to "come to my house"

kandiikane:


Nothing wrong with being invited to a male's home as long as there is a mutual understanding but with all the threads on Nairaland, it seems a woman has to be wary about trusting a man in his home. From the mentality of most nigerian males on this forum, if a lady goes to your house that means she has consented to having sex with you. Absolutely messed up.

Acidosis:
No surprises here


Most women marry strangers. They want to know his attitude and personality in SHOPRITE, BEACH, OZONE, & KFC.

blublahd:

Stillfire:


Hahahahaha...I just listened to 'to be a man' by flavour yesterday sef. Nice beat.
I really do like straightforward people. A Nigerian man would not take the same mess he wants his wife to accommodate. Ride on please. You have set a standard for yourself which I actually like in people, stick to it.
Brownie bringing it here is being your typical average Naija woman that has been drummed into her head since childhood that you cannot just confront your husband on 'sensitive' issues like this, you have to meander your way, beat about the bush, give off passive aggressive signs, twist yourself, act like a good wife meanwhile you are boiling like a volcano inside , and most importantly pretend to the whole world everything is alright.

kandiikane:


From a previous post of yours, I can see you have the come to my house syndrome.

blublahd:

Actually I don't, would rather prefer I do it in your house. Except if she says otherwise.
But traditionally, going to a dude's house, you must have established a good amount of rapport, anything short of that am afraid, is stupid and naive.

Nonso23:

My parents did not raise a mugu.

Even the flavour guy self has his own harem... 2 na just to warm up...
Don't be so sure about that o.
The problem is that the average Nigerian lady is not willing to demand their fair share of respect from their man.
I mean what is even there to demand
Ask them what they intend to make out of their lives in the next five years and the majority will just start gawking like demented heifers.
Ask some guys how their mothers dealt with them during the turbulent phase of adolescence. Firm but loving. Consequences for actions or inactions were clearly spelt out. (for them good mothers o). There were boundaries and they were adhered to.
Today's woman is more interested in replicating mill and boons in real life than taking more pragmatic approaches toward their marriages. Whilst that in itself is not a bad idea but then again no sensible person goes about cutting down a tree by plucking the leaves.
Marriage today is a contract where the negotiation for value is a till-death-do-us-part activity - a staring contest if you like.
The moment the woman thinks she can get a better offer outside, the husband is gone. The moment the man notices that he can cut a better deal on the sides he goes for it. The latter is more prevalent because the man, in most cases, sports the bulk of their combined financial muscle.
Happy marriages are those where both parties have acknowledged that the value they provide for each other is worth way more than any side attraction can offer. Where the man goes out of his way to please his wife and the woman won't stop at anything to cater to her husband's needs.

I refuse to accept that the woman is suppressed. I think the movement of society's focus from moralist/socialist foundations to capitalistic tendencies is more to blame. The women of the last generation had to combat with the inculcation of monogamy in their men thanks to Christianity and when it seemed like they were succeeding the "sex sells" adverts started to receive attention. Their target - those with the most money to throw around -men. Then morals boundaries became a question of "how much do you want?" . Women became more open to trading their morals for money. Young men who couldn't meet up were forced to step up and those who did wouldn't settle for less and whenever there appeared a better deal they stepped up yet again and the woman again is left with the shorter end of the stick. This is the reality of most of today's marriages.

The unfortunate thing is that both good women and men are the victims of this vicious cycle and it is not going to end anytime soon.
Trust is dead today. Everyone is as loyal as their pockets' depth.
Are there still good people?
Yes.
How can you find them?
I don't know. Try Tum bum tum bum...

Nonso23:

My parents did not raise a mugu.

Even the flavour guy self has his own harem... 2 na just to warm up...
Don't be so sure about that o.
The problem is that the average Nigerian lady is not willing to demand their fair share of respect from their man.
I mean what is even there to demand
Ask them what they intend to make out of their lives in the next five years and the majority will just start gawking like demented heifers.
Ask some guys how their mothers dealt with them during the turbulent phase of adolescence. Firm but loving. Consequences for actions or inactions were clearly spelt out. (for them good mothers o). There were boundaries and they were adhered to.
Today's woman is more interested in replicating mill and boons in real life than taking more pragmatic approaches toward their marriages. Whilst that in itself is not a bad idea but then again no sensible person goes about cutting down a tree by plucking the leaves.
Marriage today is a contract where the negotiation for value is a till-death-do-us-part activity - a staring contest if you like.
The moment the woman thinks she can get a better offer outside, the husband is gone. The moment the man notices that he can cut a better deal on the sides he goes for it. The latter is more prevalent because the man, in most cases, sports the bulk of their combined financial muscle.
Happy marriages are those where both parties have acknowledged that the value they provide for each other is worth way more than any side attraction can offer. Where the man goes out of his way to please his wife and the woman won't stop at anything to cater to her husband's needs.

I refuse to accept that the woman is suppressed. I think the movement of society's focus from moralist/socialist foundations to capitalistic tendencies is more to blame. The women of the last generation had to combat with the inculcation of monogamy in their men thanks to Christianity and when it seemed like they were succeeding the "sex sells" adverts started to receive attention. Their target - those with the most money to throw around -men. Then morals boundaries became a question of "how much do you want?" . Women became more open to trading their morals for money. Young men who couldn't meet up were forced to step up and those who did wouldn't settle for less and whenever there appeared a better deal they stepped up yet again and the woman again is left with the shorter end of the stick. This is the reality of most of today's marriages.

The unfortunate thing is that both good women and men are the victims of this vicious cycle and it is not going to end anytime soon.
Trust is dead today. Everyone is as loyal as their pockets' depth.
Are there still good people?
Yes.
How can you find them?
I don't know. Try Tum bum tum bum...

kandiikane:


I believe I implied the bolded in a previous post.

If not and by rapport, you mean some form of sexual tension that needs to be released once they see each other at his place?

This means any woman who has not established such rapport is asking to be ra.ped?

Or, should not trust any man who asks for a visit to his home?

If this is what you mean, speaking objectively, do you feel it is ok, to make men seems like they cannot be amicable with the opposite sex without sexual frustration?

kandiikane:



Where you wan take know the woman, for your bedroom?

Acidosis:
No surprises here


Most women marry strangers.

5minsmadness:


We are derailing.
However.


I have had more than one occasion where I have invited a relatively new chic to my house and catered to her needs without engaging in any sexual overtures. The results are always the same. They go home and start gossiping how u are a prude or you don't like sex or you don't like them. This "come to my house" syndrome is not just an affectation of the male species alone. Females feel if they come to your house and spend the night and you don't make a move towards them then there is something wrong somewhere.

Acidosis:


Nope, laptop & smartphone.

Any man whose phones & laptop is free of "illegalities" deserves an absolute trust. The problem is you need to get closer in order to access these gadgets.


Often times, we also deceive ourselves by ignoring these stuffs in the name of privacy.

Shollypopzz:


I find your second statement to be very interesting. Why would say that?? (And I'm not talking of gold-diggers, I'm talking about ur average chic)

Acidosis:

Nope, laptop & smartphone.
Any man whose phones & laptop is free of "illegalities" deserves an absolute trust. The problem is you need to get closer in order to access these gadgets.
Often times, we also deceive ourselves by ignoring these stuffs in the name of privacy.

Shollypopzz:


I find your second statement to be very interesting. Why would say that?? (And I'm not talking of gold-diggers, I'm talking about ur average chic)