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How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? - Family - Nairaland

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How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by ZebaReba: 5:42am On Jun 27, 2015
I'm depressed and can't sleep all thru the night. Ive been thinking of what to do with my life. After dating for 3 years, I am yet to be introduced to his family. My bf and his bro are the only ones here and the rest of his family lives back home in nigeria. His bro lives in another city so we've never met and they're not close so im not bothered about that. even when his family comes, still nothing. he cant even pick calls in their presence. no mention of anything private at all as if there's a problem somewhere.

Should I move on or am i supposed to bring it up to him? i haven't told my family about him too because i dont know what he's up to after all these years. I've been fine with it until i read that toke makinwa's situation and i dont want to end up like that. Other men have been asking me out and i keep turning them down. pls advise me like your sister.

im 30 and he's 31.
Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by bossmeround(f): 5:48am On Jun 27, 2015
must every relationship end in marriage?

2 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by agarawu23(m): 5:49am On Jun 27, 2015
it's not a bad idea if you raise the issue in his present, 30 isn't young anymore.
If he doesn't turn up, i think you have to move on.

hope there is nothing stopping the guy from getting married ?

4 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by menix(m): 5:50am On Jun 27, 2015
Kindly look inwardly to confirm if u a wife material, if u feel u re one then confront him.
Cous wen we find a non wife material we jst roll 2geda until father Abraham gives her sense to go find ur type....

1 Like

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by ZebaReba: 5:51am On Jun 27, 2015
bossmeround:
must every relationship end in marriage?

No - for teenagers.
Yes - for mature adults in their late 20's and above if there is no obvious dealbreaker. thanks for your input.

19 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by menix(m): 5:53am On Jun 27, 2015
bossmeround:
must every relationship end in marriage?

I tire ooo..

Na so i go block one chick, we neva even start she don dey ask where is d relationship heading to, mii com tell d lady say i no b trailer driver.

5 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by ZebaReba: 5:55am On Jun 27, 2015
agarawu23
menix

i have looked inwardly and there's nothing wrong with our relationship. is he shy to bring such up to his family? Honestly [s]im also insecure that maybe he might end up with a younger lady[/s] even though i never brought it up to him and he's not given any signs for something like that but thats how i feel sometimes.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by coogaluta(f): 5:55am On Jun 27, 2015
Depressed and can't sleep at night? Dem never born the man angry grin

Talk to your guy, but most importantly-follow your instinct!
Meeting family these days is not a criteria lipsrsealed
Man wey go misbehave go still misbehave undecided

2 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by Slickest(m): 5:55am On Jun 27, 2015
Mam', no vex say small pikin wan advise u oo, its just ma take...

Sit him down nd question his intention, let him kno uv told ur parents about him(even if u avnt), tell him they're eager to meet him, with his reaction u can read his intentions.

Nd b quick about it!!!

May I ask wot part of d world u ar

4 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by ZebaReba: 5:56am On Jun 27, 2015
menix:
I tire ooo..

Na so i go block one chick, we neva even start she don dey ask where is d relationship heading to, mii com tell d lady say i no b trailer driver.

grin i understand but not after 3 years of dating one person.

3 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by menix(m): 5:57am On Jun 27, 2015
ZebaReba:


No - for teenagers.
Yes - for mature adults in their[b] late 20's and above[/b] if there is no obvious dealbreaker. thanks for your input.

So the young gals in their early 20's that re married re infants ehh kwa?

Better confront ur bobo to know if u are marriageable or possibly he is jst rolling wiv u...
Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by Slickest(m): 5:58am On Jun 27, 2015
bossmeround:
must every relationship end in marriage?
Dats cold!!
Den wots d essence of a relationship?
Sex?
Money?

22 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by ZebaReba: 5:59am On Jun 27, 2015
@Slickest
canada

@Coogaluta
Thanks. Meeting the family may not be important for some people but this guy worships his parents. I'm attending my sisters wedding in 2 months and i know my family will bring up my relationship status. see why i want to know where i stand before i visit home. i know all his friends but thats not a factor to me.
Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by agarawu23(m): 6:03am On Jun 27, 2015
ZebaReba:
agarawu23
menix

i have looked inwardly and there's nothing wrong with our relationship. is he shy to bring such up to his family? Honestly [s]im also insecure that maybe he might end up with a younger lady[/s] even though i never brought it up to him and he's not given any signs for something like that but thats how i feel sometimes.
a man can't be shy about his future.

move on he if he is not ready, you are not a kid anymore.

4 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by agarawu23(m): 6:04am On Jun 27, 2015
coogaluta:
Depressed and can't sleep at night? Dem never born the man angry grin


na so na go dey make mouth grin

7 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by Slickest(m): 6:06am On Jun 27, 2015
In another 365days u'll b a year older, be frank nd quick abt Ur decision...
Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by osaslord500(m): 6:06am On Jun 27, 2015
Be wise and make your future your priority. Time waits for no man

2 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by coogaluta(f): 6:07am On Jun 27, 2015
ZebaReba:
@Slickest
canada

@Coogaluta
Thanks. Meeting the family may not be important for some people but this guy worships his parents. I'm attending my sisters wedding in 2 months and i know my family will bring up my relationship status. see why i want to know where i stand before i visit home. i know all his friends but thats not a factor to me.


Seriously, follow your instincts!
Do you really think he has plans to include you as a part of his future?
If yes, then, maybe the introduction will happen at the appropriate time...
But if after 3 years, you've not started talking about the kinda home you wanna build, then lipsrsealed

4 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by coogaluta(f): 6:09am On Jun 27, 2015
agarawu23:
na so na go dey make mouth grin

If I no make mouth for NL, na for where I wan make mouth tongue

but seriously, the man that will make me depreseed and stay awake all night is yet to be born cool
Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by menix(m): 6:15am On Jun 27, 2015
ZebaReba:
agarawu23
menix

i have looked inwardly and there's nothing wrong with our relationship. is he shy to bring such up to his family? Honestly [s]im also insecure that maybe he might end up with a younger lady[/s] even though i never brought it up to him and he's not given any signs for something like that but thats how i feel sometimes.

Well going to use myself as an example here, my last relationship had issues cous of same stuff.
We have dated for a year plus and she was like if i was serious with her i should ve introduced her to my family and that she was not getting any younger (26yr old pikin oo).
Sincerely i wanted her as a wify buh my problem was the introductory part, cous if am to introduce someone to especially my dad i should ve saved up every thing that i needed to get it rolling in d nxt 2-3 month possibly my up bringing.

so in essence, ur bobo might have some goals he intends accomplishing before doing the needful (so find out). Cous during my time i wanted a job change, finished my building but i had some thorns on d way and 2day shez happily married to someone else..

3 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by Dahjhi: 6:16am On Jun 27, 2015
Talk to him right away and get the real definition of ur 3 yrs journey..
"Few yrs ago when you meet his parent its a serious relationship, now even if you meet his ancestors if u arent his choice all na film trick."
If you haven't caught him with any lady before or be sensing infidelity, the time to ask him is now.
Good luck

7 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by Dahjhi: 6:20am On Jun 27, 2015
menix:


Well going to use myself as an example here, my last relationship had issues cous of same stuff.
We have dated for a year plus and she was like if i was serious with her i should ve introduced her to my family and that she was not getting any younger (26yr old pikin oo).
Sincerely i wanted her as a wify buh my problem was the introductory part, cous if am to introduce someone to especially my dad i should ve saved up every thing that i needed to get it rolling in d nxt 2-3 month possibly my up bringing.

so in essence, ur bobo might have some goals he intends accomplishing before doing the needful (so find out). Cous during my time i wanted a job change, finished my building but i had some thorns on d way and 2day shez happily married to someone else..
had a similar story here 2. Shes Also 26 o.. But today she wished she had waited a little bit. Bcus the time she was asking me for this yeye intro nah stipend I dey collect for work o. But Ops case is imaginable, she's 30. Chaii i fear that age in ladies
Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by enoqueen: 6:22am On Jun 27, 2015
Dahjhi:
Talk to him right away and get the real definition of ur 3 yrs journey..
"Few yrs ago when you meet his parent its a serious relationship, now even if you meet his ancestors if u arent his choice all na film trick."
If you haven't caught her with any lady before or be sensing infidelity, the time to ask him is now.
Good luck
grin grin
Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by agarawu23(m): 6:23am On Jun 27, 2015
coogaluta:


If I no make mouth for NL, na for where I wan make mouth tongue

but seriously, the man that will make me depreseed and stay awake all night is yet to be born cool
abegi!!! na people like you dey die on top man matter grin

if you truly love and care for a guy, he will alws be in your hrt and you will get depressed anytime he hurts you. abi you know get hrt?

6 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by Dahjhi: 6:26am On Jun 27, 2015
enoqueen:

grin grin
what nah ? smiley
Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by menix(m): 7:05am On Jun 27, 2015
Dahjhi:
had a similar story here 2. Shes Also 26 o.. But today she wished she had waited a little bit. Bcus the time she was asking me for this yeye intro nah stipend I dey collect for work o. But Ops case is imaginable, she's 30. Chaii i fear that age in ladies

Na true u talk...

3 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by dinachi(m): 7:21am On Jun 27, 2015
Getting married is not necessarily a sign of love! Let me repeat for emphasis, marriage as it is today does not necessarily mean that the man loves you. Again, do not ask him about his marital plans for you. Most men will bolt after that. We like always to take the lead but then women are smart too. I have a couple of moves I believe if you make you might be able to ascertain his mind towards marriage.
Introduce him to your family instead! But not as your fiancé, rather as the only man in your life. Your family might seek clarification just keep silent and watch him answer them.
His answers will give you a clue.
Secondly, as often as is possible attend all the wedding events you have with him BUT never directly ask him his plans.
Give it a little time and your guy will open up. Good luck!

6 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by Dahjhi: 7:32am On Jun 27, 2015
dinachi:
Getting married is not necessarily a sign of love! Let me repeat for emphasis, marriage as it is today does not necessarily mean that the man loves you. Again, do not ask him about his marital plans for you. Most men will bolt after that. We like always to take the lead but then women are smart too. I have a couple of moves I believe if you make you might be able to ascertain his mind towards marriage.
Introduce him to your family instead! But not as your fiancé, rather as the only man in your life. Your family might seek clarification just keep silent and watch him answer them.
His answers will give you a clue.
Secondly, as often as is possible attend all the wedding events you have with him BUT never directly ask him his plans.
Give it a little time and your guy will open up. Good luck!
cool
Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by Upnepaa(m): 7:36am On Jun 27, 2015
bossmeround:
must every relationship end in marriage?
This a very poor attempt from a female,please what is the essence of entering a relationship without planning to wed i mean it is like going to school with the intention that you don't want to get a certificate,everything we does in life should be utilised to its maximum advantage,entering a rlship without the intention of marriage brings about the theory of use and dump just sex,sex and nothing and at the later end the feminine gender is the loser simply because she had turn herself to a sex machine to guy,in essence every relationship should lead to marriage,or what is the essence of entering the r/ship in the first place

13 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by Drinkwater(m): 7:49am On Jun 27, 2015
Send a signal, introduce him to your own family and watchout..

1 Like

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by PenAndPaper: 8:20am On Jun 27, 2015
bossmeround:
must every relationship end in marriage?
If you are in a relationship and you don't have plans to get married doesn't mean others don't.
Op I understand what you are going through.. Ask him what his plans are in a calm and mild way.. If you are fierce about it, you might be doing more harm than good.
Hint hint hint... As a woman you are a professional at that so use it on him.
30 is the new 20 but you might feel more secure with a man to call your own. ( ladies won't accept this last statement but I have said it as it is tongue)

4 Likes

Re: How Long Should We Date/court Before He Introduces Me To His Family? by angieberry(f): 8:31am On Jun 27, 2015
I can see that desperation has set in. Men do not liked to be rushed into marriage. If you're in such a hurry, why don't you give him "the talk", ask him about his future plans concerning you and if marriage is not there, move on to other men that May be ready to marry you.

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