Exactly this days life is so unpredictable. Nothing lasts again including marriage. In life you can say when I'm 40 I want to be in ajah and life just gives you a u turn to apapa.it is what it is. Life. Nothing on earth is forever that includes marriage

refreshrate:


Now youre getting it twisted.
Prior to my previous post someone had suggested they go their separate ways to see who would lose more. I advised otherwise that seperation isnt always the solution to a problem between a couple.

Secondly about having an upper hand (especially with money as leverage) Thats rather primitive. Im certain you dont like feminism and its strapping, but thats precisely the male version youre exhibiting when you speak this way.

Marriage is not a destination but a journey, and like any journey anything can happen. If your 'upper hand' drops someday-heaven forbid, and she now becomes your source of support, what do you think is likely going to be your fate?

Life happens.

Amakas friend saying yes without a proposal...lust wears out over time, love grows over time. My advice? Fall in love, it makes the ride worth it, trust me.

refreshrate:


I think this is a totally different scenario youre painting here, theres really no life and death situation that even me wont advice the person to run away, trust me even if its between mother and child.

However, this is just purely a case of solely a case of wedding type, last i checked didnt see anything so extreme in such a situation. Or am i still getting you wrong sir?

with that regards, then the both of 'em shld work things out to favour both party involve.. buh if things are n0t sorted out PROPERLY b4 they get married, i fear for their future and if that case shld c0me up, then we ar back to square 1 of my c0mment.. 100% of BAD MARRIAGE ain't BAD at the begining u kn0w? u get me nw.

0lushola:
with that regards, then the both of 'em shld work things out to favour both party involve.. buh if things are n0t sorted out PROPERLY b4 they get married, i fear for their future and if that case shld c0me up, then we ar back to square 1 of my c0mment.. 100% of BAD MARRIAGE ain't BAD at the begining u kn0w? u get me nw.

Lol
Seriously think about it, theres really no marriage that doesnt have its fair share of issues. Even twins born of the same mother on the same day sometimes have altercations how much more two totally different individuals from different backgrounds?

Its about maturity, understanding & compromise.
Trust me certain things that would break up certain relationships could just pass off as just a shrug of the shoulders for others.

refreshrate:


Lol
Seriously think about it, theres really no marriage that doesnt have its fair share of issues. Even twins born of the same mother on the same day sometimes have altercations how much more two totally different individuals from different backgrounds?

Its about maturity, understanding & compromise.
Trust me certain things that would break up certain relationships could just pass off as just a shrug of the shoulders for others.

exactly, what works for taiwo might nt work for kehinde.. same as we individuals, wat will keep my marriage might n0t keep your marriage Irrespective the love and understanding and vise versa..

refreshrate:


Now youre getting it twisted.
Prior to my previous post someone had suggested they go their separate ways to see who would lose more. I advised otherwise that seperation isnt always the solution to a problem between a couple.

Secondly about having an upper hand (especially with money as leverage) Thats rather primitive. Im certain you dont like feminism and its strapping, but thats precisely the male version youre exhibiting when you speak this way.

Marriage is not a destination but a journey, and like any journey anything can happen. If your 'upper hand' drops someday-heaven forbid, and she now becomes your source of support, what do you think is likely going to be your fate?

Life happens.

Amakas friend saying yes without a proposal...lust wears out over time, love grows over time. My advice? Fall in love, it makes the ride worth it, trust me.

Well guess you don't understand point, You dragging this to the financial aspect again, Well i am a man and a very strong man and i never and never wish to ever depend on a lady to survive so by the Grace of God it won't happen..

About my point about them to go their separate way, What i really mean is that as a man i cannot be control by a lady on what to do, My wife can't control all she can is give a suggestion and i have every right to to turn down her advice or make use of it....

The issue of having upper, Yes the man will always have an upper, Even if they eventually go for the registry that does not mean the man won't cheat.. I always tell some woman around me that God Know what He is doing to have first created a man... I once told my wife then that if her father/mother happen to see me with another coming out of hotel, If they happen to be the good parent they won't even tell her. All they will do is call me and give me a very good advice against what am doing that is bad cos calling and telling their daughter won't help any issue expect they want her out of the house and no same parent will want that...

So forget about registry or no registry, Any spouse that will cheat will always do and i have seen alot of even happen to my close friend..

craziebone:


what do you mean by "bargaining power" especially in this case?

In psychology of humans, when there is an interaction between 2 people and they want something from each other. If this 2 things they want are of the same type but yet are different, then one person either has to change their commitment or comply with the other person's wishes.

Commitment will most likely require persuasion.

Compliance will most likely require force and fear. She is already attempting this.

Otherwise the only other outcomes are either:

1) Full resistance from both parties

2) A compromise position for both parties

The second is not always possible on binary issues. This is a binary issue.

That is where power comes into play.

Who has the power (and is willing to use the power for his/her aims) is the person that is likely to come out on top.

The power each party will have in this situation will come from the following:

1) Who likes the other person more

2) Who wants to get married more

3) Who has more options in the short and long term

Someone with less power can still stick to their resistance position instead of changing it to compliance or commitment to fit with the other's approach, but they are likely to lose out the most. But some people are comfortable with kamikaze decision-making.

The other approach someone with less power can take is to get people with influencial powers on the more powerful party to influence the other party to comply/commit to the desire of the less powerful. E.g. speak to their relatives or mentors to change their position or force them to comply.

ronald4lif:


That's how it should be. A pre-nup contract should be embark upon before nuptials, especially in this age where people are marrying for wealth and financial gratifications. The love flim-flam tricks shouldn't fly anymore. Not to people who are cognizant of the fact that there's no such thing as love. We only have "interest" not love.

Question....in reality..how many wife-to-be would agree to sign prenup before marriage?

In the instance above,the young woman is insecure and unsure of "her benefits" thus the insistence and emotional blackmail of breaking up with him.
If the Bobo would reason with his head and not his heart,he doesnt need a vision or prophetess to tell him what'd in store for him,should he proceed with the wedding

donodion:


Question....in reality..how many wife-to-be would agree to sign prenup before marriage?

In the instance above,the young woman is insecure and unsure of "her benefits" thus the insistence and emotional blackmail of breaking up with him.
If the Bobo would reason with his head and not his heart,he doesnt need a vision or prophetess to tell him what'd in store for him,should he proceed with the wedding

I agree. But if a woman is not willing to accede to a pre-nup contract then it's no nuptials for me and I think should be same for every man/woman, depending on the possession at stake.

There's too much greed in the world for anyone to neglect the importance of marriage-settlement on the altar of love which is very deceptive. Any partner who repudiates the move of realizing this have an ulterior motive and should be dumped without delay. Love should have boundaries and one must abide to certain rules except if they want to be manipulated.

ronald4lif:


I agree. But if a woman is not willing to accede to a pre-nup contract then it's no nuptials for me and I think should be same for every man/woman, depending on the possession at stake.

There's too much greed in the world for anyone to neglect the importance of marriage-settlement on the altar of love which is very deceptive. Any partner who repudiates the move of realizing this have an ulterior motive and should be dumped without delay. Love should have boundaries and one must abide to certain rules except if they want to be manipulated.

True...and its interesting how women complicate matters for themselves.
You just need to assess the divorced snd single older women without a steady man to understand their regrets.Seriously women are complex beings.

donodion:


Question....in reality..how many wife-to-be would agree to sign prenup before marriage?

In the instance above,the young woman is insecure and unsure of "her benefits" thus the insistence and emotional blackmail of breaking up with him.
If the Bobo would reason with his head and not his heart,he doesnt need a vision or prophetess to tell him what'd in store for him,should he proceed with the wedding

Exactly.

It is obvious the argument about the choice of marriage type is not about "being together", it is about financial benefits.

She is trying to ensure she can claim some of his things from the "union" if it collapses, he is trying to ensure he does not lose anything if the "union" collapses.

refreshrate:
Prince is not ok. Wetin be him own sef? Is it not the woman that owns wedding day? Abi where you hear say dem talk say its the grooms happiest day? Na bride dem dey talk.

If the girl had been keeping honeypot from him prior to this discussion ehn i swear even if na shrine she talk prince no go complain. The guy wan jump ship come dey form quarrel.
Be careful of prince.

Prince of where sef?

When she pays for it, she can own it.

Sagamite:


Exactly.

It is obvious the argument about the choice of marriage type is not about "being together", it is about financial benefits.

She is trying to ensure she can claim some of his things from the "union" if it collapses, he is trying to ensure he does not lose anything if the "union" collapses.

Exactly....well good luck on her mission.....whatever her aim is ...she would add to the numbers of those unhappily divorced women.

Sagamite:


Exactly.

It is obvious the argument about the choice of marriage type is not about "being together", it is about financial benefits.

She is trying to ensure she can claim some of his things from the "union" if it collapses, he is trying to ensure he does not lose anything if the "union" collapses.

but in all divorce cases i've heard of, why don't the woman lose anything? It has always been the man.

If the woman is richer, will she lose anything? Do people go to jail when there is infidelity? Should infeidelity be a crime? I think it is a personal thing

Sagamite:


In psychology of humans, when there is an interaction between 2 people and they want something from each other. If this 2 things they want are of the same type but yet are different, then one person either has to change their commitment or comply with the other person's wishes.

Commitment will most likely require persuasion.

Compliance will most likely require force and fear. She is already attempting this.

Otherwise the only other outcomes are either:

1) Full resistance from both parties

2) A compromise position for both parties

The second is not always possible on binary issues. This is a binary issue.

That is where power comes into play.

Who has the power (and is willing to use the power for his/her aims) is the person that is likely to come out on top.

The power each party will have in this situation will come from the following:

1) Who likes the other person more

2) Who wants to get married more

3) Who has more options in the short and long term

Someone with less power can still stick to their resistance position instead of changing it to compliance or commitment to fit with the other's approach, but they are likely to lose out the most. But some people are comfortable with kamikaze decision-making.

The other approach someone with less power can take is to get people with influencial powers on the more powerful party to influence the other party to comply/commit to the desire of the less powerful. E.g. speak to their relatives or mentors to change their position or force them to comply.

hmm, na wao! So marriage now na calculus...permutation and combination! When i hear things like this, you tell me make i marry? When i said i wasn't going to marry, some told me i am saying it because i am at a stage. I wonder what stage he/she thinks i'm in.

Toks2008:


A man who truly loves his lady and has no hidden agenda will gladly do a registry marrage.

With Pre Nup sha