₦airaland Forum

Tomfrench:
According to one certain HR,

"Most CV envelopes (hard copy), of people that manage to submit in person, or by proxy, are either saturated with Olive oil... or one tiny goodluck charm or the other..."

we now live in the ERA, where people say "Its either I get the job, OR the HR goes blind"

These HRs, I feel their pain sha

Krysstie:
One of the most common Nigerian trend is for unemployed graduates to lament about sending out their CVs over a hundred times a month without getting a single feedback. They even curse the government for not giving them jobs.

What if I say most Nigerian graduates are unemployable? It’s high time you all stop disturbing the mailboxes of recruitment agencies and companies who have better things to do than reading your CVs.

I’m not a Human Resource manager, HR or whatever term they give to those people. I don’t run a recruitment agency. I’m just an observer in one corner of Lagos, almost as good as unemployed. Sometime last week I was opportune to help place a job ad and receive the CVs that come in. Receiving CVs is one of the most difficult part of being a HR. First, the job listing sites do not help matters. You place a job ad in one site because you don’t want your mailbox to overflow with CVs, then other job sites you never knew existed take it upon themselves to publish.

I was set for the excitement and fun that came with receiving CVs for the first time, so I let the job listing sites do what they please, without inkling that it would be a frustrating experience.

As the CVs began to troop in, all I expected was to get applicants who had the relevant job experience stated in the ad, but the reverse was the case. Why would you apply for a job you clearly know you’re not qualified?

The job experience contained in your CV is ‘bar attendant’, ‘sales officer’ and ‘lab attendant’, then you go ahead to apply for the role of web content developer. How does that work? Even if you’re graduate of Mass Communication, I’ll send your CV to trash. Sorry.

Several times I’ve called on people who are unemployed, to take up jobs as guest writers, volunteers and others, where they would be paid little or nothing, but they gain experience which they would include in their CVs. This suggestion of mine has always been turned down. Everyone wants money, not experience. This is why they keep carrying empty CVs, applying for jobs that require experience and having their CVs sent to trash almost all the time.

The most annoying part of my experience was when I felt really insulted. How on earth will you send your CV to multiple companies at the same time? First, you’re not qualified, then I see you sent your CV to my company, Dangote, FCMB and Chrisland schools’ recruitment email. This is just wrong. You don’t even stop there, you go ahead to send it with a funny subject like – ‘Here! My CV, for employment’.

Another version of this was the one who forwarded the application email he had just sent to another company. It doesn’t end there, the CV wasn’t in Microsoft word format, not in PDF, but pasted in the body of the email. Yes. That’s how bad it was.

You see, when the HR manager or whoever is receiving CVs get 20+ mails from unqualified individuals, the next question that comes to mind is, “Can I just get a few qualified applicants”? The moment about 5 qualified CVs arrive, that’s almost always the end of the show. If the HR is not as impatient as I am, he or she might decide to go through the frustrating experience of opening another 20+ unqualified CVs in a bid to wait for 5 more qualified applicants.

This is what happens when you’re qualified but never get called. There are tons of people applying, 80 percent of the CVs are empty and unqualified. Once the HR gets 5 percent of qualified applicants that he needs, the door closes and the remaining CVs might never get opened because it’s frustrating to open yet another scary document.

Again, I’m not a HR, but I have acted it, and it’s really frustrating to receive CVs. You’re 31 years of age, meaning you must have finished your Secondary School education many years ago. There’s no argument about that because you graduated from the University in 2009. Secondary School will definitely be a long time ago. Now, why bring it into your CV that you were a time keeper during your Secondary School days? Who cares about that? Does it relate to the job you’re applying for? Even if it does, no one will take a look at that.

Qualification and experience is stated in job ads, pay attention. Applying for jobs doesn’t mean sending your CV to whatever recruitment email you come across. It’s a serious business!
If your job application is not a serious business for you, it is for the HR. Don’t go about getting phone numbers from the websites of companies who place job ads. This might sound strange, but it’s real. You come across a job ad you’re qualified for, and instead of sending your CV to the email provided, you go ahead to the company’s website, pick a phone number that was provided for inquiry purpose and then call to give unwanted ‘gists’ about how qualified you are for the role. No one is interested. Save your airtime and send your CV!

The job recruitment and application process is just crazy! From just one job ad, over a 100 CVs are received. How about a solution? There should probably be a way to close the mailboxes after a maximum number of CVs has been received. It’s really frustrating for the HR, and also frustrating for you to keep applying for jobs month after month without feedback. Save your CV from a life in the trash folder. Get experience! Read the job ad over and over again to know if your qualification and experience fit! Make things easy for yourself and whoever is receiving the CVs.

You’re probably asking how on earth you’ll get experience if you don’t get employed? There are tons of jobs that do not require experience, take advantage of them and respect the wish of those who seek experienced applicants. I had fun receiving CVs as a pretend HR, but at this point, it’s no longer fun. The mailbox is weeping, and as frustrated as I am. Tell those still applying that it’s all over. Let them know they’ll never get a feedback. In fact, inform them that successful applicants have not only been selected, they’ve also resumed work.

All the best in your job search!

http://houseofmo.com/diary-of-a-pretend-hr/

princeshijman:
seriously u are unemployable..u wey dey find job wey no fit read ow many paragraph.ow u wan take crosscheck ur c.v, go solve ur ish first cus na u nid to revisit ur institution. u are a disgrace to o.a.u

Hawlahscho:
Sorry man, am through with you.


***modified***


"If you keep throwing stone @ every dog that barks @u, you may not get to your destination"



I REALLY WISH YOU READ THE LITTLE WRITE UP AND GAIN FROM IT

Damalex4luv:
What are you even saying, so am now a disgrace to my school just because I didn't read the whole write-up. You're such a clown and so so dump to argue with. Not reading a write-up that won't land me a job now makes me unemployable. Ode ni e

princeshijman:
lol...now i see why u are nt yet employed..foolish guy..

Damalex4luv:
Enu e lowa yen. Stop quoting me and keep your stup1d advice to yourself and your unborn children

Krysstie:
One of the most common Nigerian trend is for unemployed graduates to lament about sending out their CVs over a hundred times a month without getting a single feedback. They even curse the government for not giving them jobs.

What if I say most Nigerian graduates are unemployable? It’s high time you all stop disturbing the mailboxes of recruitment agencies and companies who have better things to do than reading your CVs.

I’m not a Human Resource manager, HR or whatever term they give to those people. I don’t run a recruitment agency. I’m just an observer in one corner of Lagos, almost as good as unemployed. Sometime last week I was opportune to help place a job ad and receive the CVs that come in. Receiving CVs is one of the most difficult part of being a HR. First, the job listing sites do not help matters. You place a job ad in one site because you don’t want your mailbox to overflow with CVs, then other job sites you never knew existed take it upon themselves to publish.

I was set for the excitement and fun that came with receiving CVs for the first time, so I let the job listing sites do what they please, without inkling that it would be a frustrating experience.

As the CVs began to troop in, all I expected was to get applicants who had the relevant job experience stated in the ad, but the reverse was the case. Why would you apply for a job you clearly know you’re not qualified?

The job experience contained in your CV is ‘bar attendant’, ‘sales officer’ and ‘lab attendant’, then you go ahead to apply for the role of web content developer. How does that work? Even if you’re graduate of Mass Communication, I’ll send your CV to trash. Sorry.

Several times I’ve called on people who are unemployed, to take up jobs as guest writers, volunteers and others, where they would be paid little or nothing, but they gain experience which they would include in their CVs. This suggestion of mine has always been turned down. Everyone wants money, not experience. This is why they keep carrying empty CVs, applying for jobs that require experience and having their CVs sent to trash almost all the time.

The most annoying part of my experience was when I felt really insulted. How on earth will you send your CV to multiple companies at the same time? First, you’re not qualified, then I see you sent your CV to my company, Dangote, FCMB and Chrisland schools’ recruitment email. This is just wrong. You don’t even stop there, you go ahead to send it with a funny subject like – ‘Here! My CV, for employment’.

Another version of this was the one who forwarded the application email he had just sent to another company. It doesn’t end there, the CV wasn’t in Microsoft word format, not in PDF, but pasted in the body of the email. Yes. That’s how bad it was.

You see, when the HR manager or whoever is receiving CVs get 20+ mails from unqualified individuals, the next question that comes to mind is, “Can I just get a few qualified applicants”? The moment about 5 qualified CVs arrive, that’s almost always the end of the show. If the HR is not as impatient as I am, he or she might decide to go through the frustrating experience of opening another 20+ unqualified CVs in a bid to wait for 5 more qualified applicants.

This is what happens when you’re qualified but never get called. There are tons of people applying, 80 percent of the CVs are empty and unqualified. Once the HR gets 5 percent of qualified applicants that he needs, the door closes and the remaining CVs might never get opened because it’s frustrating to open yet another scary document.

Again, I’m not a HR, but I have acted it, and it’s really frustrating to receive CVs. You’re 31 years of age, meaning you must have finished your Secondary School education many years ago. There’s no argument about that because you graduated from the University in 2009. Secondary School will definitely be a long time ago. Now, why bring it into your CV that you were a time keeper during your Secondary School days? Who cares about that? Does it relate to the job you’re applying for? Even if it does, no one will take a look at that.

Qualification and experience is stated in job ads, pay attention. Applying for jobs doesn’t mean sending your CV to whatever recruitment email you come across. It’s a serious business!
If your job application is not a serious business for you, it is for the HR. Don’t go about getting phone numbers from the websites of companies who place job ads. This might sound strange, but it’s real. You come across a job ad you’re qualified for, and instead of sending your CV to the email provided, you go ahead to the company’s website, pick a phone number that was provided for inquiry purpose and then call to give unwanted ‘gists’ about how qualified you are for the role. No one is interested. Save your airtime and send your CV!

The job recruitment and application process is just crazy! From just one job ad, over a 100 CVs are received. How about a solution? There should probably be a way to close the mailboxes after a maximum number of CVs has been received. It’s really frustrating for the HR, and also frustrating for you to keep applying for jobs month after month without feedback. Save your CV from a life in the trash folder. Get experience! Read the job ad over and over again to know if your qualification and experience fit! Make things easy for yourself and whoever is receiving the CVs.

You’re probably asking how on earth you’ll get experience if you don’t get employed? There are tons of jobs that do not require experience, take advantage of them and respect the wish of those who seek experienced applicants. I had fun receiving CVs as a pretend HR, but at this point, it’s no longer fun. The mailbox is weeping, and as frustrated as I am. Tell those still applying that it’s all over. Let them know they’ll never get a feedback. In fact, inform them that successful applicants have not only been selected, they’ve also resumed work.

All the best in your job search!

http://houseofmo.com/diary-of-a-pretend-hr/

princeshijman:
dude kip ur shit tite God go provide job for u..jst wanna find ur trouble small..bt u for try read d stuff or make u noe yarn am say u noe read am.take care.

Tomfrench:
According to one certain HR,

"Most CV envelopes (hard copy), of people that manage to submit in person, or by proxy, are either saturated with Olive oil... or one tiny goodluck charm or the other..."

we now live in the ERA, where people say "Its either I get the job, OR the HR goes blind"

These HRs, I feel their pain sha

Krysstie:
Nice point! Employers should 'carry out seminars, career fairs e.t.c in Nigerian universities making them aware of the requirements of employability'. Then, the write up is not meant to impress and squeeze out praises from you. No one has to like it...I just shared my experience and gave little advice that I felt will be of help...

castro316:
Ok let me put it this way. Can u do something for me just a simple favor.
1) Go to well paying firm of ur choice
2) strike a deal with the the manager that u want to work for free. that he should give u just enough to pay for you feeding and transport
3)bear it in mind that this is going to be a very tough time for u but u only need to gain experience from that firm
4)forget about laws and learn everything u can from that biz. Even though ur boss shouts on u. In short be result oriented
Make sure the point men i.e the manager accounts, supervisors of that company recognize ur efforts
5)take a journal and write reports of how the biz run and see how to make that biz better

6)learn to be an expert in writing letters. That's one weapon in the corporate world. Know how to write in a way to convince whoever and not offend the person

7) be as humble as possible. If possible stay on the ground. If u r pisssed, relax and remember it is just for a short while - one year
Ur motive actually is to work as a spy. Ur objective is to get as many contacts as u can as fast as possible including the customers that will help u one day outside that premises be nice to them. These ppl are ppl u don't see walking on the streets everyday but u catch them in such places
Discuss on a cup of coffee with ur boss how u can make this or that better in the company and u will see how ur boss will open up to you

Even though u don't get to work there again u already have the experience for ur cv and COOONNTAACCTS FOR UR NEXT JOB

That's what u get from working without payment.

Tomfrench:
According to one certain HR,

"Most CV envelopes (hard copy), of people that manage to submit in person, or by proxy, are either saturated with Olive oil... or one tiny goodluck charm or the other..."

we now live in the ERA, where people say "Its either I get the job, OR the HR goes blind"

These HRs, I feel their pain sha

Damalex4luv:
Olodo made "an fantastic", also you said "what they noticed happening in an HR"
And you claimed to have read the post. I pray all the curses stated in your post are all urs. You must be very stupid for even qouting me. Try go back to school because we're not mates idiot

PubLlcEnemy:
People made mistakes out of desperation,instead of advicing them on how to go about things in future you are here insulting your head....Thank God you too are jobless.








Big Fool.
Ugly thing.
Look @ ur face like my anuz
With your head like wolnut.

lrguru:
wanted to say same thing. Don't mind d muumu, instead of her to advice on how to make ur cv marketable, she's there feelin funky with that yeye job. People like her are not worth been in HR, and glad she was just a pretend.

Damalex4luv:
Why should I read the write-up, she only post her opinions which may not work for others and besides the whole write-up does not makes much sense to me. You can go to he'll and give up on yourself

tommenoh:
It looks like a joke, but this was recently recieved.

here:
Just to ask,how do we then think those in mail rooms of both corporate and NIPOST survive?
Do you know there was a time when you get letter it was garri that was used to seal it?
We have learnt to survive. Do you have any friends in management positions in Nigeria? Ask them their experience, some get to work and find even charms or oil at various places like at doors or even seeds under their table;infact I learnt of one whose tea cup was poisoned.
Welcome to Africa bro, but rather than mourn it we have learnt to live with it.

lol... The bolded got me cracking

You are damn right... 'Office/official' juju is now on the increase...

Raalsalghul:
To tell you the truth: I really wanted to like your post, but I can't help but noticed how your points contradicts each other. While some of your points made sense, the others didn't. What you've written here is mediocre at best and can't be valued as quality advice. Secondly, the statement “Nigerian graduates are unemployable” is becoming somewhat of a cliché that has been used to death: if there are no jobs, why don't you tell us and stop the blame game. Furthermore, I have read widely and know what it takes to be employable and anywhere I go I see some graduates if not all that are employable and it baffles me that employers still give this cliché reason of “Nigerian graduates are unemployable”. Why don't you people rephrase the statement like this: “Some Nigerian graduates are unemployable” or “Most Nigerian graduates are unemployable” rather than giving us the same trite excuse of “Nigerian graduates are unemployable”. Finally, so what, we are unemployable, but what have you employers done to drastically decrease the un employability of Nigerian graduates. Have you carried out seminars, career fairs e.t.c in Nigerian universities making them aware of the requirements of employability. Have the employers ever picked up potential candidates and trained them up to their standards. Oh! Let me guess: no, because you are trying to save costs and maximise profits and the only way you can mask that is by resorting to the cliché sentence of “Nigerian graduates are unemployable”. If your write up is meant to impress and squeeze out praises from me, then am sorry you have failed because your write up is formulaic, trite, cliché and mediocre.

Krysstie:
One of the most common Nigerian trend is for unemployed graduates to lament about sending out their CVs over a hundred times a month without getting a single feedback. They even curse the government for not giving them jobs.


http://houseofmo.com/diary-of-a-pretend-hr/