olaolaking:


Exactly one of the problems. He is not comfortable around you. During my time, I will never let my parent know what ever things happened to me outside. No matter how, I just take it like that because I was not comfortable with their helps. Can you imagine.

I also want to add that, he will prefer to swallow a lot of cheats from others because he does not want to be heard. He is not comfortable with been heard.

If it is like this, it is hormonal imbalance of the brain. and it is likely to be hereditary..

Please. Don't let this boy suffer the same thing I suffered.

I was browsing with my phone when I stumbled on this. I have to drop everything I was doing to go to the nearest cybercafe.

Please go to Clinic NOW to help this boy

cc:thelish

you seems to understand the whole scenario so well. Thank u so much. I really appreciate ur input. pls can u recommend any of this clinic to me??

Brandnew2:

What child loves a parent who always spanks him for intangible reasons.

Just STOP SPANKING HIM.

#Shikena!

where did u read in my post that I ALWAYS spank him? before u call ursef a beast.

thelish:
where did u read in my post that I ALWAYS spank him? before u call ursef a beast.

Not insulting you.
Just telling as it is.
It's your child anyways so I guess you can treat him the way you want.

your son is the melancholic man lol.same goes with your husband i guess.inferred that from your refference to him here and your previous topic on your marriage.its not particularly that you are a bad parent or mum.it could be that he is reacting to a stressed environment.he possibly could sense the difficulties you and the father are facing with family responsibilities.definitly there will be an expression of those difficulties and people like that are naturally emotionally intelligent to read more than you are even letting out.just prod him on gently always with the assurance that things will get better whenever you both are in the best mental disposition.#Team melancholic men.they say we make the best lovers you know.

thelish:
he can keep quiet for a 2yrs old boy to bite his forehead. anybody, be it junior, agemate, senior can oppress him n take his thing, he will not talk but will be pained inside of him. The whole thing looks like hereditary to me. But how can I help him speak up when he needs to

I have seen children in this condition they have adapted to domestics abuse.
Even in school, pupils stop weeping to teachers beating when it is too much.
When you abuse your son, he will start keeping his pains to himself.
He might grow-up hating you and leaving your home.

troy20:
your son is the malancholic man lol.same goes with your husband i guess.inferred that from your refference to him here and your previous topic on your marriage.its not particularly that you are a bad parent or mum.it could be that he is reacting to a stressed environment.he possibly could sense the difficulties you and the father are facing with family responsibilities.definitly there will be an expression of those difficulties and people like that are naturally emotionally intelligent to read more than you are even letting out.just prod him on gently always with the assurance that things will get better whenever you both are in the best mental disposition.#Team malancholic men.they say we make the best lovers you know.

hahahahaha. tank u

Yes ma'am. Continue with not "shouting at him"

If he has other siblings, do not compare his abilities or personality or attitude with theirs. Commend and discipline him as an individual in his own capacity.

Do not talk down on his dad in his presence(or anywhere else for that matter)

To help him get confidence, give him responsibilities. Send him to bank. Make him cook(regularly), make him farm. Etc.

Get him this book "Questions young people ask. Answers that work - volume 1 & 2" published by Jehovah's Witnesses.(In those books are many self building articles that have helped many young people all around the world). You can obtain them from a Jehovah's Witness near you or from a Kingdom Hall near you or download it from online at www.jw.org/en

emmatok:


I have seen children in this condition they have adapted to domestics abuse.
Even in school, pupils stop weeping to teachers beating when it is too much.
When you abuse your son, he will start keeping his pains to himself.
He might grow-up hating you and leaving your home.

Mr exeergeration, so u were Neva spanked by ur parents? if yes, have u hated them this much? or did u run away from home? See oyibo formings ooo. so spanking is now equal to abuse

thelish:
Mr exeergeration, so u were Neva spanked by ur parents? if yes, have u hated them this much? or did u run away from home? See oyibo formings ooo. so spanking is now equal to abuse

It is maam, there's nothing wrong in spanking when a kid goes wrong. I bet you're the kind that will never apologize for spanking him and telling him what he did wrong and also reminding him that you still love him. This is where you're going very wrong, there he starts to doubt if you're his real mother. God knows if someone came to tell me that the people I lived with where not my real parents I would have believed them. You don't know what's going on in his head, do want your son to wish you all could just die and let him be.

This won't stop at him just being normal, it will affect his relationship,trust,character everything. He will actually grow faster than his age in thought.
You'll be surprised at the kind of things he'll end up showing interest in.
Trying reading a history of serial killers and abuse and you'll know what you're creating. Good thing is for people like us it has helped in controlling impulses, but not all impulse should be controlled, I think it okay to get angry, if this anger keeps being trapped, not only you will bear the brunt, it could be the whole society. I can tell the opposites of people like me who couldnt control it anymore are what turned out to be Fred West, Arthur Shawcross and the likes.

thelish:

He can bear pains as well. There was a day, the dad mistakenly jam the door against his hand, every other would scream or shout to alert his dad, but my son kept quiet there bearing the pain while his hand was still strapped to d door. It was so annoying that I had to spank him for keeping quiet.

The problem is You. Why would you spank ur child for not crying. Please the best way to start is to every day , ask ur child how his day went, who his friends are, watch tv shows with him on weekends especially comedy,tell him how your day went, tell him u love him constantly and t ry not to scold him for every mistake he makes.

Dont make d same mistake my aunt did. Her children would rather eat shit than talk to her about whats happening to them and this would have led to great health complications of her last born if not for the househelp...

cmecproblem:
Oh dear, your son might be autistic, please get him to a good medical facility for immediate checks.

I think you need to google what autism is

AABeauty:


Why would you spank a child for being quiet!?!? I'm sorry but you're the problem. I'm reading all the feedback your getting and your responses. Its like your not even comprehending whats being said to you.

its like she's only interested in assuring us of her innocence. I Wish I read more than her post b4 commenting. I think we are just wasting our precious time on someone thats not willing to accept she's the problem

debada:

its like she's only interested in assuring us of her innocence. I Wish I read more than her post b4 commenting. I think we are just wasting our precious time on someone thats not willing to accept she's the problem

Exactly!!! She ignored all the comments that indicated that she was the problem and agreed with the few people that said her son has a psychological issue. She already knew what she wanted to believe before she posted this. I feel sorry for her son. Nothings wrong with the boy but his mother's going to put a negative label on him.

Sambarry no vex abeg Na work & family oh. I'm here.

thelish:
Please, how can I help my 4 year old son overcome fear?

He seems to be very free outside, but keep to himself at home.

Before his holiday, I went to his school to confront them, because
he couldn't answer a question from his book, but my son fall my hand
right there. He was reading all what he refused to read at home.

Please I need help. He seems to lack self confidence.

I tried to reduce my shouting at him in order to draw him close to myself,
but there is still no improvement yet.

Thanks

Right there in bold lies the boy's problem ma'am, and the earlier you change your niggarow path the better for you and that boy in future.

He doesn't seem to have same issues in school according to you and that is the most important red flag to watch out for in children esp if they're timid /shy at home. Thank Goodness he's alright.

Stop yelling and learn to speak calmly to your kids at home. Put him on a time out of he's been naughty, he's just four for crying out loud not a teen CHILAX MOM.

Yall spend so much money to educate your kid in these oyinbo schools and expect same kids to respond to your niggarow approach at home? What a load of confusion.

Many a time, very intelligent and bright kids tends to keep. To themselves........bt when u see them amongst their peers u will know they are powerfully confident....

@ op,,On your on part,guess the way you are relating with the child needs to improve.......he is just scared not to displease you...he is still a child.......allow him to be one.....don't always expect him to reason like an adult at his age...Allow him to enjoy his childhood bt then caution him only when necessary.....Your child should be proud of you not scared of you!!!

Children.... hmm

Children in general are prone to fear when they attain such age cos they are beginning to understand the reality of life...

They tend to understand how life is related to their academy and how it so important to mummy and daddy that; for him or her to be the first in class.

So I'll say u give the kid time and make him comfortable around yourself, if after school activities; he get home, except for assignment u shouldn't bring school discussion up.

The whole point is to create an obvious differences between home and school. By that fear can be curb, But the truth is fear is really needed if he needs to learn

simdam500:
Children.... hmm

Children in general are prone to fear when they attain such age cos they are beginning to understand the reality of life...

They tend to understand how life is related to their academy and how it so important to mummy and daddy that; for him or her to be the first in class.

So I'll say u give the kid time and make him comfortable around yourself, if after school activities; he get home, except for assignment u shouldn't bring school discussion up.

The whole point is to create an obvious differences between home and school. By that fear can be curb, But the truth is fear is really needed if he needs to learn

thank u sir

[s]

thelish:
Mr exeergeration, so u were Neva spanked by ur parents? if yes, have u hated them this much? or did u run away from home? See oyibo formings ooo. so spanking is now equal to abuse

[/s]
Lol,
Says the mother that spanks her child for having an accident without crying.
You need to visit the dictionary for the definition of abuse.
You probably never heard of BOTTLED-UP EMOTIONS that's what your child is experiencing.
Its one of the effect of abuse.

[quote author=thelish post=36235280] you seems to understand the whole scenario so well. Thank u so much. I really appreciate ur input. pls can u recommend any of this clinic to me??[/quote are you in Lagos? If so go to general Hospital at ikeja. They will direct you to human behavioural department. You may spend less than 20k because they may limo the treatment to only drugs.

I am not a doctor o. I am also treating myself there.

Though not completely satisfied with the service but just take a step

Its a good thing you sought help. You knew something was wrong even when he hasn't grown big. The mistake parents make is to start seeking solution when children are all adults when the damage has been done already. They now blame the village witches for drawing a line them and the children.