Chuky: (Just pours his Heineken into a glass cup) I miss the days of bachelorhood, I miss Heineken aka champions league, I also miss clubbing and stuff.
Francis: (Cuts in) you must be missing life you know… people say marriage is a prison
Chuky: Not really, I also miss you sense of sarcasm. You have been married for three years yet full of life.
Francis: Yes of course. I chose my path
Chuky: (Cuts in) I guess you don’t have my kind of wife; she’s one hell of a problem.
Francis: (Smiles) mine is ten times worse, I mean was ten times worse… but God wey give person big teeth go give am big lips to carry cover am. I tamed the tiger.
Chuky: (Chuckles) how can one tame a dragon?
Francis: You must be a fan of fables.
Chuky: Come to my house and see for yourself
Francis: You must have some super powers to have avoided being barbequed by her breath huh?
Chuky: (Gulps the whole drink in silence)
Chuky: (Breaks the silence) I don’t know where to place all the fuss about getting married and bullshit.
Francis: (Smiles) marriage is for adults and adults must be adults.
Chuky: Waiter, bring two more bottles of Heineken.
Francis: So how long have you missed your darling champions league… since your bachelor’s eve I guess?
(They both laugh out loud)
Chuky: Not really, I’ve got like a crate that stare me in my fridge but drinking at home is like making love with five condoms on. You know what I mean.
Francis: Yeah right, I know exactly what you mean. My wife once prepared goat meat pepper soup and bought some bottles of cold Heineken plus she changed the channel to super sports so that we can both eat and watch champions league at home instead me going to the pub. I plainly told her, you can buy the beer parlour and bring it home but you can’t buy beer parlour gist.
(They both laugh out loud)
Chuky: Like seriously, the information you get here Nigeria Info and wazobia FM can’t offer you not even Linda Ikeji blog.
Francis: that reminds me, you know Linda that your crush back in school…
Chuky: The one with the big waist?
Francis: Exactly… I done chop am
Chuky: (Looks left and right) you mean?
Francis: I check my emails there.
Chuky: (Laughs) Bad man, you must be very good in hacking usernames and password.
Francis: Anything for the love of skirts, you know…
Chuky: Skirts? How do you mean?
Francis: Don’t be naïve man! If the devil permits we will all be monks.
Chuky: Yes o, for the love of my wife’s skirt.
Francis: And some few extras too, you know skirts are so dear sometimes you wish you had them all.
Chuky: (Scratches his head) I once tried one or two extras but f%ck it, bullshit happened.
Francis: Yep, at times bullshit happens that’s why things that are dear are carried with care. You need the pokers manual too.
Chuky: (Chuckles) back in school, you were nicknamed Mr. Nogoodadvice
Francis: The only difference is that I now talk and do. Then I was just an adviser, I mean a special adviser on… whatever. I now practice what I preach.
Chuky: So what exactly do you preach?
Francis: I preach the good, the bad and the ugly.
(They both laugh out loud)
To be continued