i'm dating a guy who isnt the same tribe as me. and i know my mother has problems with things like that. one time, i mentioned it and she sort of shut me up and said 'don't even think about it'. i'm so confused. i need help.

did u mean "inter- tribal relationships"?

@nostrings


You mean inter-nationality? Because if he is black, and you are black, you two are the same race.

Do you mean your mother does not want you dating another black man who is from another tirbe?

i'm sorry i meant inter-tribal relationships.

@nostrings

i'm sorry i meant inter-tribal relationships.

I am so sorry that you have to suffer something like that. Our parents of today are still trying to hold on to the ways of our ancestors, I guess. Some of the traditions should still be used but not one such as do not date inter- tribally.

The only one all black people should be staying away from dating wise and marriage wise is white people. They are the ones who have done us harm. Your tribe is black and the person you like is black. When it comes time for us to fight and save our land, it will not matter and should not matter what tribe we are from because in the end, if the enemy wins, we all will be homeless. But, if we win, we will all continue together to occupy the same land, so we should learn to love each other.

It is hard to rebel against our parents when we respect our parents but isn't it only fare that our parents respect us too? They are not always going to be there. Some day they will be gone and we will be left alone? Therefore, we should be able to choose he we want to spend our time with, not our parents. As long as we do not abandon in our parents and disprespect them, they should love us anyhow.

I know your parents will still love you, they will be a little stubborn but in the end no matter what choice you make, they will still love you. Try to talk to them and give them a chance to communicate their concerns to you. Black people ultimately love each other no matter what, you have to believe that. I hope this advice has helped you out in some kind of way.

By the way, what tribe are you from, and what tribe is your friend from?

sista: [White people] are the ones who have done us harm.

sista: Black people ultimately love each other no matter what, you have to believe that.

Sista, have you ever talked with Igbo people about other Nigerian "tribes"? Ask them what the Hausa and Yoruba have done to them and you might be suprised! 

Really my parent do nt care who get married to but you have to double sure of what u wnt. I dnt see us fighting our parent over this type of issue it a matter of sitting on a round table. Either white or black flesh na flesh.

i'm yoruba and he is from rivers. thanks for the advice

Sista:


The only one all black people should be staying away from dating wise and marriage wise is white people. They are the ones who have done us harm.

In what way? How different is this from racism?

@Davidylan

In what way? How different is this from racism?

Davidylan, I have not talked with you in a while and I hope my response to you does not turn into what we know it is capable of turning into. Here are the definitions of a Racism and Discrimination, I will let you answer your own question.


[b]Racism:

1.The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.

2.Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

Discrimination:

1. treating people differently through prejudice: unfair treatment of one person or group, usually because of prejudice about race, ethnicity, age, religion, or gender

2. The ability or power to see or make fine distinctions; discernment.
The act of discriminating

3. The act of discriminating


Some people here in nairaland pretend to be so appalled at my advocating that black people be with black people, those same people either feel that white people have helped them so much and or those same people have a white counterpart.

Just because my view in your opinion threatens how you feel about white people, that is a problem you have as an individual who cares about white people that much. If what I say bothers you, in my opinion, you must not be that secure and confident about those white people you love so much.[/b]


That is your problem, not mines, you sacrificed your self to commit to those types of challenges when you opened your self up to putting white people on the same level as the black people who have suffered at the hands of white people, so deal with it.

I'm going to keep advocating black for black. United we stand, divided we fall.

What I am doing is no different from how a lot of you black people discriminate against each other. I have been called an Akata by black people who have told me[b] they love white people[/b]. This is sick! I get the impression that for the love of white people, some of my own people would throw me to the wolves just because I love them (Black People) so much. Damn!

I have been told that I am a racist by black people everytime I speak of black unification. I feel that I have been discriminated upon by my own people.

It's okay though, the black struggle is tuff, and one can be killed for loving black people as much as I do. And, one could even be killed by ones own people.  I knew that though and I chose to roll with the punches.

I can admit that I discriminate against white people but I treat white people like I treat everyone else. I just do not care for dating or marrying them and that is my prerogative. I have to many beautiful black men to choose from

But you people who are going to jump on me for telling the truth, you are the same people who will not marry a man or woman who does not have the money you require.

You are the same ones who will not marry a man or a woman if she is not educated.

You are the same ones who will not get to know an African Albino because he or she is to light and they are looked upon as an outcast, but you will open your hearts to white people.

You are the same ones who will not date or marry an AA because of your discrimination against them.

You are the same ones who will not marry a Yoruba because you are Igbo.

You are the same one who will not marry a Igbo because You are Yoruba.

Or, because you are a Nigerian, you won't even look the way of a Congolese.

You are the same people who will not get with another black person because they don't look a certain way. But do you call your self a racist, do you see that you are discriminating?

Will you even admit that?

I have nothing to hide.

Black People Unite!

United we stand divided we fall.

My brothers and sisters, we have been falling for much to long now.

Related topics:
http://www.google.com/search?q=site:www.nairaland.com+inter-racial+relationships

@nostrings

i'm yoruba and he is from rivers. thanks for the advice

Thanks for sharing that with me nostrings.

I hope all goes well for you, I am sure everything will go just fine.

By the way, what is the big fuss about?

What do your parents not like about Rivers people?

Can you share that as well?

By the way, some people are going to be coming after me in your thread. I am not liked by some people in Nairaland, and soon you will see why.

Please do not let this change how you think of me, please judge me by your first instinct of me.

I can't help the fact that I love black people as much as I do

@Somegirl

Somegirl, are you a white?


If you are white, this will not stop me from having a civil conversation with you but for some reason, I get the impression that you are white.

I see you asked me did I know about how some Africans have been fighting against each other. To me, this is usually something a white person would bring up to prove something. Immediately I went to your profile after reading what you asked me and I saw that you have a picture of a white woman in your profile.

Also, In another thread as you described an Albino, your description was of a white Albino with Pink spongy scalp and long yellow or red hair I believe. I don't think those kinds of Albino's are in Africa. My opinions about Albino's do not change because of that. I still think Albino's should be included.

nostrings,

My advice is for you to educate your folks by telling them how much you care for this person and that you don't want to live in their past. I remember when I mentioned to my mother being from a yoruba culture that I was dating a white lady in the US and I was going to marry her, boy, I wish I was there to take a picture of her reaction because my younger brother called me up and told me what had happenned when I called, he said it was as if tornado hit the whole house.

You see our parents are still living in the past and it is up to each individual to make them realize that relationship today is not like it used to be. Tell her how much you are received by your partner's family; how warmth they are and that you will like for them to understand him/her before judging, Good luck. Sorry I didn't know your gender.

Sista, would it really matter if I was white? Would it again make a difference if I was white but born and raised in Nigeria? Let me tell you: My skin is neither black nor white and neither is my mind.

The albino girl, by the way, whom I described, I saw her in Nigeria. Here in Europe you don't notice albinos that much because there are many people with light skin, light hair and light eyes around. So they are not as outstanding in appearance as they are in Africa.

PS: The "pinkish" described the (artificial) flower the girl was wearing in her hair not her scalp.

Sista please do not spoil this Topic with your anti white propergander.
We are talking about inter tribal relationships.
In Nigeria we do not have employment office or social welfare, So it is very important that you pick your man with the approval of both families.
If something gose wrong along the line then you are on your own.
Even in Nigeria every village has its own Traditions and we can live among each other, but we cannot be one big Family.
If you eat only frog and i eat only toad what will we put in our pot . Frog or toad and do not tell me they are the same.

@ sista

The hatred of white people is not equal to love for black people! Those who claim to hate whites cannot be trusted to love blacks either!

@sista
If u are angry about certain racial issues,being racist will not help.YOU can't fight racism with racism

@ Sista

I hear you. Some African people still have that slavery mentality where they feel White is the utmost trophy to possess. It is because of the tactics the Europeans used to colonise Africa, divide and rule, you will find such animosity between cultures. It is so bad, some would rather their children marry outside their race if they cannot find anyone of the same culture.

_{I use the word culture as i detest the word tribe aka uncivilised}

Most Africans who have not been to European countries will naturally perceive the white race as the master and saviour of all mankind ( White Christianity made it so). It is only when they come over to Europe and get a super taste of Racism in all flavours that their minds will be opened and they learn to respect other cultures of their race.

For those that are still weak minded, they choose the easy life and blend into other races thus losing their identity in the end. _{That gets rid of the weak genes i suppose}

Sista, Keep up with the education and with hope African people from all cultures will learn to live side by side with respect again.


It is ignorance that fuels these perceptions of other cultures.

@4play

Do not confuse standing up for your race with White Racism!

I know you live in the UK and you have seen what White Racism can do. Anthony Walker, Stephen Lawrence etc.

@Browneyes

I have no problem with standing up for your race,but doing so must not mean knocking down other races.You can make a solid case for the interests of the African race without descending to the kind of attitude which we seek to condemn.

Our prostestations will lose its value if it is tinged with prejudice.This is where I take issues with Sista,she thinks standing up for Blacks must involve diatribes against the White Race

Yes brown sugar my people may have rather i marry white than Edo for Example.
Because of their culture.
Our people do not have female circumcision and they do not force widows to drink the water that was used to wash their dead husbands.
If i had married an Edo man how could i have been 100% sure my daughter will not be circumcised with or without my permission.
Would i have been able to let the girl stay alone with the grandmum.
Am not saying its good or bad.
If you are a Nigerian stop doing as if you do not know what its all about.
I cannot brother and sister every black i know. some are good some just okey and some bastards.
Will i deep my fingers in the same bowl as a Bastard just because they are Black.
Will i stop eating with a white because they are white.
Sista wants to poison minds look what she says to somegirl (civil conversation ) She will have a civil conversation even though she thinks she is white,

In which particular sentence did she put the White Race down? As far as i can understand, she was advocating for Africans to stand together instead of fussing over different cultures. Nostrings presented a problem that a lot of African people have come across due to this negative attitude we have towards each other.

Africans as a whole do not love themselves. They bleach themselves to look like other races, they try and forget their own cultures to blend in with other races and most of all they love to put down their own race.

I love my Igbo culture and if i cannot find a suitable Igbo man i will go for another culture within my race whether he be Yoruba, Ashanti, Dominican, Jamaican (not yardie).

We are quick to seek out other races without giving other cultures within our own race a chance. Our ancestors did not go through years of torture and hardship trying to preserve our race only for us to go and blend our genes just for easy sex, a mortgage and a family car.

Ummmm, I greet you all   My dear sista, you have spoken the truth and nothing but the truth. We Nigerians can't even stand other villages from the same tribe talkless of another Nigerian tribe.(Oh yes, I said it!)

About racism or whatever, as for me, myself and I, GOD help me but I want to marry my fellow IBO. Anambra to be precise. If na black or tribal racism, na una know o  

As for the white people, It's a long story  

na waa ooo!

@ Mamaput

I hear you. Nothing wrong with engaging with other races. My point is as Africans we should get into the habit of loving ourselves again. If you find you dont agree with a certain aspect of a particular culture, move onto another culture. There are so many cultures within our race we can learn about.

Sista has a history on Nairaland
@Mamaput
As for Mamaput,the whole thing about Edo people taking a carving knife to any female Instruments they come across is overblown.It is largely a thing of the past.

Sorry i got your name wrong Browneyes, Brownsugar na another thing alltogether.
I have never met a Black African that hates him/herself.
Bleching and perming is not a proof for me

4 Play:

Sista has a history on Nairaland
@Mamaput
As for Mamaput,the whole thing about Edo people taking a carving knife to any female Instruments they come across is overblown.It is largely a thing of the past.

I do not think so but i hope so. Maybe aborad but not back home.

Female circumcision? Never heard of such. You guys must be coming from the pit of Nigeria

@Mamaput
I am telling u it is overblown.I only left Nigeria recently and while I was there I never came across a Benin lady that did not have the whole package down there.

It is a generational thing and no one of the present generation aloows such things

Radiant:

Female circumcision? Never heard of such. You guys must be coming from the pit of Nigeria

There are even people that do it here its illegal of cause but its done.
Not only in the pit of Nigeria as you think.
So when you want to marry your igbo you can find out if it is done in his village.

$ play am happy about that.
I know it the other way round, non of my Edo friends have the whole package down there as you call it. But their kids do come to think of it. But they were born here.