Like if any of the jokes made you happy and comment if you don't get it


The best part of having diarrhoea is you can leave enough clues behind if you are kidnapped.


My son wants to be a pilot he's always talking about getting high.



I always hear my son on the phone saying "Can I hit that?". I really have to sit down with him and talk about domestic violence.



My daughter's Spanish tutor really wants her to pass his class...She's been in her room with him shouting "Me Gusta!" all afternoon.



My daughter taught me that new dance called "twerking". My son's black friends love when I do it for them.



My daughters boyfriend still doesn't know how to tie his shoes...Every time I walk in her room that's all she's doing.



Im so popular ... All the neighborhood boys bought me yoga pants for christmas



My sons friends all must have lisps because they always ask me for a glass of Milf.

My kids were talking about the Adele song Rolling a Joint and I corrected them. It's Rolling in the deep.

I think my daughter wants to be a policewoman when she gets older ... She has a pair of handcuffs under her bed.

My daughter must have a Biology project cause I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom.

My son's black friend asked me if I could handle his "long pipe"...I was more than happy to give him my plumber's number.

My son got in trouble for telling his teacher he wants a hand job...But why? I think it's wonderful he wants to be more hands on at school.

I heard my husband telling his friend that he rammed his secretary. I better check the car insurance to see if they will pay for her car!

My daughter and her boyfriend are cute sleeping in the bed together, I wonder what they're dreaming about with all the yelling and movement!

Omg I Luv dis

Jah michael...iranu abacha

Lwkmd !