Good morning fellow NL,please I don't know what to do now and I really have to pass a reply before end of today. My last visit to abuja last week made me to spend some days with this my married cousin(she lives @ apo area). The 3 days I spent in their house is better described as a hell to the extend I have to move out of anger.. This lady is married with a son of about 2yrs old,she stays awake all night crying and asking God to take her life insted of staying in this marriage of her..I can not sleep as well becouse of these her constant lamentation..the husband matreats her to the extend he will never keep a dime for feeding for her and her son..he comes home drunk and will sleep as soon as he lies down..I know how much I spent taking care of them for the few days before I left. She never wanted to go into details until I pressured her to open up for me,how can some men be this wicked?though she have an OND already,she have to drop out of her BSC degree programe due to lack of finacial support(she was working and schooling before she got married and give birth to her son)..i met her one day sowing her bra with a niddle and black thread and when I asked her why all these,she said she have to manage what she have since she don't have means of getting a new one.. I have to share this be she woke me up with frequent flash until I called and she told me that I may not met her alive again..I tried my best to calm her down promising to get back to her this morning with lots of solutions to her problem even though I don't have any....pls my fellow NL,I know she can teach or do any work to help her self and her son while with the husband..any body with any such opportunityarond abuja(apo) should pls help me to help her..more advice on what to tell her will also be appriciated...thank you all.

These are what scares me in marriage. I don't have head for headaches and problems of marriage. Well, your sister just needs motivation and encouragement. She also needs a good job. Apo in Abuja is a high brough area for the rich. I might not be married ooo but I think she should ignore her husband and focus on her kid

Hmmmmmm felt sorry 4 her o buh babes of nowadays dey go lyk marry because der frnds don marry or wateva reason dey hv of jumpin in2 marriage ad aftawards dey start lamentin... Cn u imagine? She wz beta off cos wz skulin b4 she got married ad now she is tinkin sucide...anyways marriage get as e be ad 2 al d single ladies out der# look b4 u leap#

very sad

tell your cousin to leave that marraige asap.

This same idiot inherited most of her house properties she bought as a single girl and bc of him,she is not even in good terms with most of her family members,they were not in support of the marriage though they respected her choice to marry him and in just about 2yrs the same marriage is about to crash...he will never keep money for her,will never call during the day to know how they are doing,the son can no longer go to sch(he refused to pay his fees)she too have stopped her bsc programe bc of same fincial stuff.the husband sleeps outside most times and only comes home when he feels like...I pityed her when I rembember how she will glued to her son and be lamenting all through the night....I think what she needs now is to pick the pieces of her remaining life and get any little job and move forward...but how will she get the job?pls make una help me with suggestions to safe 2 souls(that little boy may not survive it if anyting happen to the mother,his too young to face this kind of situation)

Well she can't make a head way as long as she is still with him.... She should go back to her family for now and see how she can do something with her life...... Since feeding is an issue, she could work a little.

Her life is in danger as you said, if your family or her family can gather some transport for her let her come back home before we would start typing RIP....

remember Oscar pistoriius gf? Dead
Titi Arowolo of skye bank? Also dead.

My advise wil b a form of suggestion. First what was the basis of their marriage,? AR both families aware of what is going on? If yes what have dey done about it? She needs to surround herself with people who wil support and encourage her. So for me I think if things have gone Beyond its limit she should look for a trusted person could be family, friends, church member etc to put up with, look for a job and takia of herself and d baby. If d man loves her, he will definately come looking for her.
NOTE:you dnt know d value of what you have til u loose it.
No one has the power to ur happiness except u. I choose to do all within my power to be happy.
Be prayerful too. It could be spiritual.
God bless you.

For now let her move out to her family or her church.She can't stay there praying or looking for solutions. Once u're not happy nothing else, she can't even think for any solutions. After moving out she can contact Women affairs in that state to help her,they will even restrict the husband from threatening or moving an inch to her.She can as well contact Stella Damascus foundation, female lawyers association, welfare department of any Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) .

Her happiness first before any job.How can she teach or any other one when her mind is somewhere? Do you know if the husband will restrict her from working? Please save her life by moving out of that bondage because is not marriage to me. God forbid any bad news, the man will find another babe immediately and abandon the son, what's now the purpose of staying there. Is she even married legally or just living together because I can't see any respect here and why will the parents allow their daughter to suffer like that.

If she's married legally, the man will pay fine, feeding and expenses from the day the baby was born will be calculated for him to pay and will continue to take care of that child.Let her keep receipt of everything she's buying for that son and the name should be her name not the husband name(is an evidence she paid not the man).

Hmmmm,I don't just want to be seen as a 3rd party to this their legal marriage...I will update her shaaa but let the chioce be hers

bowale21:
For now let her move out to her family or her church.She can't stay there praying or looking for solutions. Once u're not happy nothing else, she can't even think for any solutions. After moving out she can contact Women affairs in that state to help her,they will even restrict the husband from threatening or moving an inch to her.She can as well contact Stella Damascus foundation, female lawyers association, welfare department of any Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) .

Her happiness first before any job.How can she teach or any other one when her mind is somewhere? Do you know if the husband will restrict her from working? Please save her life by moving out of that bondage because is not marriage to me. God forbid any bad news, the man will find another babe immediately and abandon the son, what's now the purpose of staying there. Is she even married legally or just living together because I can't see any respect here and why will the parents allow their daughter to suffer like that.

If she's married legally, the man will pay fine, feeding and expenses from the day the baby was born will be calculated for him to pay and will continue to take care of that child.Let her keep receipt of everything she's buying for that son and the name should be her name not the husband name(is an evidence she paid not the man).

The more reason y it's not advisable to jump into marriage??...dats it! Dats wat apns wen all we do is forfeit our career for marriage....


I don't knw the stupid man dat will tell me Ava to leave school for marriage, nah God go punish am.....

Back to the topic, Op move out of dat hell u call marriage...bowale has typed the rest of my advicd

Anybody with the contacts of those organisations mentioned above?damascus stella in particula

rummmy:
Hmmmm,I don't just want to be seen as a 3rd party to this their legal marriage...I will update her shaaa but let the chioce be hers

3rd party my foot! Can't u help her to stay with family or any pentecostal church like winners, Redeemed for a while to get her sanity back? If she died of depression will u be happy? God forbid you will just cry and your conscience will never be happy with you. So you can't open your mouth to your relatives if she can't because of shame ?

Job!job! Is not the only solution now. I'm not saying this to divorce her husband. Separation for a while is not divorce.

Apply wisdom if she can't for now. I'm married and if I see any of my relatives going through this bondage, I will drag her from such.

I lost my blood sister while in secondary school as a result of domestic violence .It all started from no feeding ,getting to depressions all the time coupled with beating anytime she complained no food, no this and that .Everybody was telling her stay and pray the man will change and I told my mum one day," tell my sis to come home now she said no o what do you want your father's side to say marriage that is not up to a year.Is a shameful things o let her stay I will be sending her money". Just a month after she complained the man was beating her even with pregnancy, some days after she was admitted the man no show face at all.I went in the morning to drop food for them, break time I took permission to checked on her .I met my mum crying she died on her hands .

After dragging the issue here and there, his family was only begging ,taking the matter to court won't bring the dead now so we forgot everything for God to judge. Now the man is happy with kids and my sis nowhere .

Please learn and learn ,save her to be alive and happy before any Yeye man.

Okay,let me see what I can do,just that I was thinking staying independent from the husband will do a great thing to her

bowale21:


3rd party my foot! Can't u help her to stay with family or any pentecostal church like winners, Redeemed for a while to get her sanity back? If she died of depression will u be happy? God forbid you will just cry and your conscience will never be happy with you. So you can't open your mouth to your relatives if she can't because of shame ?

Job!job! Is not the only solution now. I'm not saying this to divorce her husband. Separation for a while is not divorce.

Apply wisdom if she can't for now. I'm married and if I see any of my relatives going through this bondage, I will drag her from such.

I lost my blood sister while in secondary school as a result of domestic violence .It all started from no feeding ,getting to depressions all the time coupled with beating anytime she complained no food, no this and that .Everybody was telling her stay and pray the man will change and I told my mum one day," tell my sis to come home now she said no o what do you want your father's side to say marriage that is not up to a year.Is a shameful things o let her stay I will be sending her money". Just a month after she complained the man was beating her even with pregnancy, some days after she was admitted the man no show face at all.I went in the morning to drop food for them, break time I took permission to checked on her .I met my mum crying she died on her hands .

After dragging the issue here and there, his family was only begging ,taking the matter to court won't bring the dead now so we forgot everything for God to judge. Now the man is happy with kids and my sis nowhere .

Please learn and learn ,save her to be alive and happy before any Yeye man.

Please no be sat I wan pokenose o...

But how is her marriage fairing now?
Are they still together?

Your cousin's son nko?

dayleke:
Please no be sat I wan pokenose o...

But how is her marriage fairing now?
Are they still together?

Your cousin's son nko?

Hahahaha chai
You are such a clown
Op hope it ended well ��