This might sound childish,  but please i really need advice coz em,  seriousely speaking i do not know where to start,  There is this guy i just meet,  his gud looking but dam the guy is stingy. he call me to meet him in his office on my way back from work, had to obey him, went to his office, but i was suprise when i told this guy that am hugry and coupel with the fact that its was late that i can't cook as at that time, , tots its was a joke but just for this guy to play a dafe on me,   though i like his company but what do u guys think about this his stingyness, can a stingy man change?

u just met and u ve started demanding, if he is stingy,u are hungry.

@ soula, that is not demanding, for eg u call me to come to ur office, and its was late for crying out loud, after a hectic day job, was tired and hungry and it really shows on me,
And if i said i am hungry I want to go home so that i can look for what to eat, and ur responds is ok wait till 10:30, what dose that suggest to me, ? will i still cook at that time

Change he can never change

Naturally stingy guys disgust me, am not a demanding girl infact i love bein independent but they should knw the right thing to do at the right time

U just met him, give him time, read him
may be he is putting u into some tricky test on how u will react
but if he his STINGY my sister RUN,

na lie sister,

@charminme, his not putting me to trial, he his natural stingy, yeah, am close to one of his cursin, when his cursin saw both of us, he was suprise and i was like force to him to ask what is wrong, he now told me that the guy is very stingy ohhhhhhhhhh but i should followe my heart, maybe is becoz other girls do give him and his not used to giving out.
And he earn hugh sum of cash, financially his okay, but my dear without one telling me i see that stingyness in him.

@ bammy what is lie there? stingy or am lying. this happen as at last night and i was upset ans I was even stupid to send him a text telling him that i do not like the way he play dafe on me, which i later regreat sending him, i would have allowed him to have his way sha

what if he had already eaten or not hungry, i believe in paying if i am going to eat as well but definitely not paying to watch someone eat. if a woman is THAT hungry then why dont you buy your own food or call for some take away to be delivered?!
or does a man has to pay EVERYTIME?! he asked you to come over and didnt mention dinner as i understand, maybe he had something "else" in mind to chop.

charminme:

Naturally stingy guys disgust me, am not a demanding girl infact i love bein independent but they should knw the right thing to do at the right time
U just met him, give him time, read him
may be he is putting u into some tricky test on how u will react
but if he his STINGY my sister RUN,

why run?! that would make a perfect couple: a stingy man with a stingy woman
i put this debate in the same category as sex, you girl dont always "give it up", the only way i will ALWAYS pay is if i ALWAYS get mine when i am Hot, no headaches, no periods, no bullshit or what not and wherever i please. so i will be the wallet and she will be the sex slave.

MRbrownJAY:

what if he had already eaten or not hungry, i believe in paying if i am going to eat as well but definitely not paying to watch someone eat. if a woman is THAT hungry then why dont you buy your own food or call for some take away to be delivered?!
or does a man has to pay EVERYTIME?! he asked you to come over and didnt mention dinner as i understand, maybe he had something "else" in mind to chop.

abi,first impression means a lot.

ammamat:

@ soula, that is not demanding, for eg u call me to come to ur office, and its was late for crying out loud, after a hectic day job, was tired and hungry and it really shows on me,
And if i said i am hungry I want to go home so that i can look for what to eat, and ur responds is ok wait till 10:30, what dose that suggest to me, ? will i still cook at that time

it suggest that this man wanted to stay indoors and had something else in mind other than going to some fancy restaurants,
your stomach wasnt his priority, rather something a little further down your anatomy.

@MRbrownJAY are u saying u can only buy food for ur chic only wen u are hungry, or maybe only wen inviting her for dinner, lunch or breakfast, As a caring type, first seeing ur chic in that mode what will be ur first question? i mean she is returing from work and she  is looking different,

And she told u that she need to go on time and u kept her till late, and still expect her to cook at her house or what, that is wrong, I beliving in piple dat don't wait for me to ask first, i am very shy when its come to that, i don't depend on men . what u would have said is , maybe he was not with money but then he would have told me simple.
Do not support that act plz

when he told you wait? did he tie ur legs to the chair?

what you would have done  after telling him you are hungry and he refused to say anything is excuse yourself, get to the nearest fast food joint, eat urself wella,and then buy one for him,when you buy it, come back to his place, drop the food beside him and tell him you bought it for him,and then tell him you are going home,walk out and dont wait to listen to any of his excuses


BTW was he d one dat sucked your clit till it got swollen?

ammamat:

@MRbrownJAY are u saying u can only buy food for ur chic only wen u are hungry, or maybe only wen inviting her for dinner, lunch or breakfast,  As a caring type, first seeing ur chic in that mode what will be ur first question? i mean she is returing from work and she  is looking different,

And she told u that she need to go on time and u kept her till late, and still expect her to cook at her house or what, that is wrong,  I beliving in piple dat don't wait for me to ask first, i am very shy when its come to that, i don't depend on men . what u would have said is , maybe he was not with money but then he would have told me simple.
Do not support that act plz

is this man your boyfriend or just an acquaintance?! there is a big difference between a gf and some person you know.
why would you expect [/b]him to pay for dinner if you aint his woman?! or you think that he is a gentleman so he MUST.
if my girl is hungry then i would suggest she get some food, wherever she is, if she is hungry and travel accros town to get dinner from me then she is in trouble, i am her bf not her cash cow. this pay for dinner stuff is getting out of hand. i like to eat and always pick up the tab but i will never pay for dinner if i am not eating.
this man obviously misunderstood you,  or rather you misunderstood him, why did he ask you to come over for? why didnt you tell him straight up on the phone that you were hungry and couldnt go? [b]why didnt you get some food before going to see him if you were THAT hungry?
maybe he was without money and HE TOO is very shy to let you know? the reasons are endless, bottom line: if you are really hungry then get something instead of waiting for someone to do that for you.

@MR brownJAY, _{it suggest that this man wanted to stay indoors and had something else in mind other than going to some fancy restaurants,
your stomach wasnt his priority, rather something a little further down your anatomy}.

Stays indoors in the office, on our way i told him how far, he said as i was coming if i did not see where they are selling food, why did i tell him that am hungry then i should go and eat now that as for him his going oh,

He even saw a girl and was telling the girl that he has been trying his line and not reacable and recollected the girl's phone number, He later told me that was his first g/f .

MRbrownJAY:

is this man your boyfriend or just an acquaintance?! there is a big difference between a gf and some person you know.
why would you expect him to pay for dinner if you aint his woman?! or you think that he is a gentleman so he MUST.
if my girl is hungry then i would suggest she get some food, wherever she is, if she is hungry and travel accros town to get dinner from me then she is in trouble, i am her bf not her cash cow. this pay for dinner stuff is getting out of hand. i like to eat and always pick up the tab but i will never pay for dinner if i am not eating.
this man obviously misunderstood you,  or rather you misunderstood him, why did he ask you to come over for? why didnt you tell him straight up on the phone that you were hungry and couldnt go? why didnt you get some food before going to see him if you were THAT hungry?
maybe he was without money and HE TOO is very shy to let you know? the reasons are endless, bottom line: if you are really hungry then get something instead of waiting for someone to do that for you.

are you for real?in as much as i did not support her asking him for lunch or dinner

but when did paying for lunch become a lovers thing alone

seriously whats your point?

amebo no1.:

are you for real?in as much as i did not support her asking him for lunch or dinner

but when did paying for lunch become a lovers thing alone

seriously whats your point?

my point is she seems to think that it was his DUTY to pay for her dinner while he is JUST an acquaintance,  come on now
GF/lover, i would understand. in her case, there is no base tO AUTOMATICALLY GET DINNER.

didnt you tell him straight up on the phone that you were hungry and couldnt go? why didnt you get some food before going to see him if you were THAT hungry?
maybe he was without money and HE TOO is very shy to let you know? the reasons are endless, bottom line:

from my office to where i can get fast food is very far and moreover i tots is something i will just see him and maybe live,

That was my first time of telling him that i am hungry,

[b]if you are really hungry then get something instead of waiting for someone to do that for you.[/b
Its was late , and his office is not in a good erea, , not adviceable for a lady to work alone  from 8 pm and is far from where i can get okada,

@MRBROWN

its not a duty but its whats expected

i mean , they talk on fone,and wold have known each other for a little while before asking her to come to his place

Any man that invites a girl to a place be it his place or whatever should make her comfortable

i agree with her to some extent, a real man after asking you how was your day the next question is have you eaten?,even if you say you are okay,they wont take a no for an answer


the only thing i see here is,the man sees her as some cheap girl he wants to lay on his bed hence no respect,cos if he had respect for her he wouldnt have told her to do this

he said as i was coming if i did not see where they are selling food, why did i tell him that am hungry then i should go and eat now that as for him his going oh,

like seriously he invited her over so its his duty to take care of his guest

i am in no way saying a woman cant buy her food herself or must allow a man do everything for her,what i am saying is dat the man did not do what is expected

Ammamat!

so because I was very broke that very night, you conclude I'm stingy, right?

amebo no1.:

@MRBROWN

its not a duty but its whats expected
i mean , they talk on fone,and wold have known each other for a little while before asking her to come to his place
Any man that invites a girl to a place be it his place or whatever should make her comfortable
i agree with her to some extent, a real man after asking you how was your day the next question is have you eaten?,even if you say you are okay,they wont take a no for an answer
like seriously he invited her over so its his duty to take care of his guest
i am in no way saying a woman cant buy her food herself or must allow a man do everything for her,what i am saying is dat the man did not do what is expected

does it means that this man has to go out and get her some food?! hell no, he invited her to the "office". one shouldnt expect 3course dinner at the office. what he has to do is get her comfortable THERE, not to drive her to some fancy place to satisfy her hunger. he should have been polite and say that he has no food at the office and, as she stated, the food place is quite far.
then get on with the "business" at hand, or are you saying that she should have gotten a meal before she got down and dirty with office boy?! thats kinda cheap, dont you think?!
brings back this say in my mind: NO MONEY, NO HONEY!!!!!

~ A stingy man, just like a hungry girl can never change ~

MRbrownJAY:

does it means that this man has to go out and get her some food?! hell no, he invited her to the "office". one shouldnt expect 3course dinner at the office. what he has to do is get her comfortable THERE, not to drive her to some fancy place to satisfy her hunger. he should have been polite and say that he has no food at the office and, as she stated, the food place is quite far.
then get on with the "business" at hand, or are you saying that she should have gotten a meal before she got down and dirty with office boy?! thats kinda cheap, dont you think?!
brings back this say in my mind: NO MONEY, NO HONEY!!!!!

i still cant see your point,whats wrong with going out to get her something to eat, or taking her out to eat someplace,when they were going home

this man is an slowpoke and like i repeat any man dat invites a girl to wherever as long as he was the one that invited her must make her comfortable


how can he keep her till 10.30 pm and still not be bothered if shes taken anything or if she will eat when she gets home


What kind of nigerian men is nigeria breeding for heavens sake

and plssss its not only a girlfriend dat can complain if a man decides to be daft

i have also gone out on a date , gone to peoples offices,met people in some place and the first thing they try to do is make my stomach quite comfy first before anything

YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A LOVER BEFORE A MAN BUYS YOU LUNCH OR DINNER

it is not a must but like i nsaid it is expected and quite reasonable

amebo no1.:

i still cant see your point,whats wrong with going out to get her something to eat, or taking her out to eat someplace,when they were going home

this man is an slowpoke and like i repeat any man dat invites a girl to wherever as long as he was the one that invited her must make her comfortable


how can he keep her till 10.30 pm and still not be bothered if shes taken anything or if she will eat when she gets home


What kind of nigerian men is nigeria breeding for heavens sake

and plssss its not only a girlfriend dat can complain if a man decides to be daft

i have also gone out on a date , gone to peoples offices,met people in some place and the first thing they try to do is make my stomach quite comfy first before anything

YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A LOVER BEFORE A MAN BUYS YOU LUNCH OR DINNER

it is not a must but like i nsaid it is expected and quite reasonable

ok my bad, i didnt see where it stated that they were going home together. i thought they only met at the office for some after office hanky panky. he asked her to come over for ONE PURPOSE only.
i do not buy dinner to every woman i want to bed, some get it and others just get the dikc. why do you think that a man has to pay ANYTHING to fukc a woman. totos come a dime a dozen, if she aint giving it up then someone else probably will.
believe me, with the economic situation around the world, totos are thrown faster than frisbees lately and tasting the good before spending a kobo is the new trend.
i will buy dinner if she is worth it.
i will only be a gentleman with a LADY and the way she acted is definitely not "ladylike"
a woman that respect herself would never ask/beg/demand dinner, she will  either get it herself or wait until the suggestion is brought up by the person WHO IS PAYING.
her hunger concerns should have been raised on the phone and not when arriving at his office.

~ A stingy man, just like a hungry girl can never change ~

@ MRbrownJay , a[b] woman that respect herself would never ask/beg/demand dinner, she will either get it herself or wait until the suggestion is brought up by the person WHO IS PAYING.
her hunger concerns should have been raised on the phone and not when arriving at his office.

[/b]
How do u mean by a woman that respect herself would never ask /begg or demand for dinner, point of correction, i did not in anyway begg or demand for dinner okay, i was only brought up that issue as it was getting late for me to go get something myself to eat. oh yeah i have the cash to take care of myself,

a stingy man can change if he really wants to change

The Only Constant thing is CHANGE!!!!. Its a 50-50 chance, a stingy man can change.

@amebo no1. thanks for all ur reponds and you are very correct, coz if we really wnat to look at it this way,,,,,,, for one to pay for ur dinner, lucnh Etc, dose not means that person must be ur b/f, Just don't understand this calabar guys with thier stingyness anyway is in thier blood,
@ MRbrownJay hop u are not from calabar too, coz u guys are always looking for good things but can't take care of that thing.

One critical lesson might do. it's a perhaps thing anyway.

maybe u shud start thinking of changing 1st,b4 thinking if anoda person can change.thru ur actions his reactions will change. spend time to think about it!

ammamat did he drop you off at your house after the visit? maybe since he was forming deaf you should have told him to stop at an eatery and buy something small for yourself and eat it in his presence. if you like offer him (i doubt if he would take it sha, shame nor go let am)

honestly that is what i would have done in that situation. you can give him the benefit of doubt and still watch him since you say u just got to know him. they (stingy people) hardly change sha.