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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. (1754 Views)
How Do I Tell Him Widawt Hurting Him / How Will I Tell Him I Love Him? / Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? (2) (3) (4)
How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by Nobody: 4:12pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
Good day everyone.I need ur candid advice.I met a guy online 2 weeks ago.Actually that was the first time,i would be dating online.We had been chatting very well as well as calling eachother day and night.Later i told him to come and see me at work.Although we sent pix to eachother.I liked his pix and what i saw which is why i decided to start the relationship. He eventually came to my office last week but i was disappointed in what i saw.I could not look straight into his face.He is not presentable and he was not sexually attracted to me.Immediately in my heart i concluded that i couldnt go on with him. He noticed that i have changed with the way we used to communicate and he sis complaining bitterly about it despit the fact that he stlll calls me.He always asks me if he was presentable or not but i can tell him my mind cos i didnt want to hurt him He asked me if i culd marry him yesterday by november but i just told him we shld continue with friendship first.I told him i had known much abt him so i could not be thinking abt settling down with him for now. The issue is i cant marry him and i am not the kind of person that develop love or believe in "you will grow to love him".I have tried that in the past that the love collapsed cos i tried it and not from the inner heart. My worry now is what and how shld i tell him i dont want him again.I dont like to hurt anyone the same way i dont like to be hurt. Please house help meeeeeeeee God bless you all for ur contributions |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by amebono13: 4:16pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
if you claim you did not develop love for him, how come u agreed to date him? cos its obvious u were attracted to him in d fisrplace when u saw d pics,if not the communication wouldnt have been so strong so wats ur problem |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by yme1(f): 4:20pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
There isnt two ways about it dear, you just have to summon up enough courage to tell him how you feel yes it is gonna hurt,but you just have to tell him where he stands and you have to do it right now so he can move on with his life,as u said he is already planning on getting married to you NO RISK NO REWARD remember that good luck 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by iice(f): 4:23pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
Just tell him. |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by sofeo(m): 4:24pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
@ y me, why did you just stop talking to me the last day we chatted together?. Did I get you anoid ?. Ok forgive me then. @ poster I think you have to tell him your mind so that he will really know what nest to do about his love affairs |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by tomaagy(m): 4:26pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
y me: I concur but i'd like to ask if u guys discussed about marrying on phone before the meet! |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by Nobody: 4:30pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
@amebo1 yes i was attracted when i saw the pix but the reverse was the case when i saw him physically.He looks ok in pix |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by essentialB(f): 4:31pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
You may find a clever excuse or lie to tell him why you can't marry him. You may either use his tribe as an excuse or tell lie that you already have a guy who is abroad and is considering him for marriage or that you are not ready to settle down yet due to one or two family reasons. Just look for a clever lie/excuse and give him bc it will hurt him to learn that you are rejecting him bc of his looks. He will likely develop inferiority complex and may find it hard to woo another babe. |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by yme1(f): 4:33pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
@sofeo of course am not annoyed with you just had to rush out, that was why |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by Nobody: 4:39pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
essentialB: |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by surface(f): 4:41pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
just tell him u were disappointed wit his looks,simple as ABC. |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by Nobody: 4:43pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
what did he look like and why was it so different from his photo? |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by Nobody: 4:47pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
davidylan: He was looking good and attractive in his pix but including in full posture but he is not walking very well as if he bends and again he looks older thank i expected. |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by surface(f): 4:49pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
Dat doesnt really matter,is he capable 2 take good care of u,or take u 2 europe for honeymoon?if yes,carry goooo |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by touchmeder: 5:05pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
i beg nor kill me with laugh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just tell him u were disappointed wit his looks,simple as ABC. Cool damn that would hurt like , This is what i would do i'd request for a visit or wait until we see next and tell him plain. ''i am sorry but i dont think this is going to work. ive tried to give it a go but i just dont feel this is what i want. i think you are a nice man and i dont want to play with your emotions. i just dont feel you are the right one for me. sorry if i have lead you on for too long but i dont just feel up to it anymore. i am really sorry''. i'd stop calling, wont pick his calls, remove him from my messenger and report him as spam or ignore him, i wont reply any sms message and generally just go blank. that should do. |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by omega25red(m): 5:08pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
surface:This response is really dumb @ poster you obviously liked his personality and what he presented on the phone and online. You should know that beauty is only skin deep, you can find that gorgeous person who is a dumb as a rock, and only depend on the fact that they look good. Though i agree with the fact that you need to at least be physically attracted to someone in order to carry on but from what you said it only seems like the guy wasn't well dressed which could be fixed maybe he needs a hair cut or something. Anyway it's not good to lead a person on or leave them in limbo tell him that it's not going to work out and keep it moving. |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by LadyT(f): 5:09pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
Please dont be mean maybe say that you are sorry but you are married and you were just cheating or something dont be mean to the poor guy. |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by touchmeder: 5:14pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
LadyT: uhmnnnnnnnnnnn that sounds nice too. i was cheating and no longer feel comfortable doing this is a good one |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by ThoniaSlim(f): 5:20pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
Now that's the problem with all these online thingie. . .The sooner you tell him. . .the better for both of you. . . |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by sistawoman: 6:00pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
dating for two weeks now marriage |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by Frankilyte(m): 6:05pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
Hey sista dont deceive yourself, summon d galls and tell him what u feel right away. |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by Treetop20(m): 6:12pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
tell him |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by miriac: 6:18pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
just tell him your parent did nt buy the idea of u marrying from their place |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by Czarskit(m): 8:36pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
~ It's beta u tel him wit ur mouth. ~ |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by oYaTo(m): 8:42pm On Apr 23, 2009 |
It's a pity d guy don sabi where u dey work . .that's why it's always better to meet in a neutral location first, incase u have a change of mind like in ur case. . Not that I'm into online stuff. .I prefer make I see d babe face 2 face, like am, then pursue am like crazy. . |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by Nobody: 7:55am On Apr 24, 2009 |
Yes oooooooo.He said age is no more on his side and his mother has been crying that he shld get married.I know as well that age is not on my side as a woman but am not desperate.Am short of excuses.I cant bring the parents factor that i shld not marry from his place,i cant say that i was married that i only tried to cheat. Can i just be misbehaving like stop calling,picking calls,giving excuses maybe thse will piss him off.he asked to come and know his house next week friday which is may 1st and his birthday but i hv started giving excuse that he knew i was preparing for my exams. Please what do u think.Honestly,i really appreciate all ur contributions. God bless. |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by LadyT(f): 8:40am On Apr 24, 2009 |
NO! Can't you tell him you have a boyfriend? You need to let him down gently. Its not his fault but yours. Or tell him you just want to be friends (like most naija guys understand that*rolls eyes*) |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by essentialB(f): 9:02am On Apr 24, 2009 |
Quote from Lizabeth ''We told each other from the start that no rship from both sides.The tribe issue is not going to be an excuse.and he is feeling inferior already to me cos he always asks me if he is presentable and i will reply him if he doesnt have confidenc e in himself.'' How can you make such promises and committment to each other when you have neither seen each other or related to know how compactible you are. You must have gottne enough advises from people. So the choice is now on you to know the one to choose and I hope you will learn from this in your next relationship. Meanwhile can I get ur email address? I have something personal I need to discuss with you. Or you can mail me ur address on essential.babe@yahoo.com |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by charminme(f): 9:59am On Apr 24, 2009 |
Personally, i dont believe in an online relationship But i believe in meeting online Dont ever make the mistake of dating someone online wen u have not seen him/her Pictures are deceitful, see one on one and knw that he/she is ur kind of person There is no two way, tell him the truth i dnt believe in beating around the bush just try and use the right words |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by OkayOlami: 1:14pm On Apr 24, 2009 |
2 weeks phone calls, Can we Call that a Date? How can you fall in love for just ordinary pics? That sounds stupid and it's a kind of bullshit. he was mistaken he supposed to have shown up like a gorillar maybe you will like him much better. You better tell him how you feel, but say it in a wise way, you dont have to hurt him in the manner you are going to say it. PLEASE I THINK IT'S NOT JUST RIGHT FOR US TO PROPOSE MARRIAGE IN JUST A 2 WEEKS RELATIONSHP GETTING MARRIED WILL HAVE TO BE LIFE TIME AND WE HAVE NOT TAKING OUR TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. LET'S JUST REMAIN AS FRIEND THEN MAYBE LATER WE CAN MOVE ON TO THE NEXT STEP. DONT WANT YOU TO FEEL BAD BUT THIS IS JUT THE WAY I FEEL. I WILL CALL YOU ON PHONE LATER TONIGHT. Please my woman to hesitate to turn back, tell hm you are in an hurry. But when you leave there, please come to my place i want to have a date too. get my pics on my facebook home page i will be looking forward to ya call, lol
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Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by teissys(f): 1:43pm On Apr 24, 2009 |
You had your first meeting at your place of work? There's no escaping then, just tell him the truth. He will take it like a man. My dya sista, sorry but don't ever meet at places you hang out often next time you get together with a person you meet onlyn; it will be so easy for them to trace you. William Shakespear warns us that looks can be decieving, who knows; you might fall in love with "crooked" man due to his personality |
Re: How Do I Tell Him,please Help Me. by pinkylady1(f): 1:56pm On Apr 24, 2009 |
just tell him no big deal |
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