Good day Readers,

You are welcome to the first ‘airing’ of Nairaland Mock News. First the Major Headlines:

*CHICKEN GOES FASTING
*WOMAN 32, ARRESTED FOR PRODUCING ‘YOGHURT’

Now, the News in full.


CHICKEN GOES FASTING

Chicken all over the 36 states of Nigeria is currently embarking on a seven days warning strike to protect what they term ‘immoral killings’ of their Beloved Bothers, Sisters, Fathers, Mothers, Friends and Relatives by Man for the celebration of festive seasons.

The warning strike which is expected to start from the 22nd of May, 2009, has however, been described as a welcome development by all Chicken all over the Country. The Chicken further disclosed that the Independence day celebration will serve as an acid test to see if Man will desist from killing their people for the sake of enjoying themselves. The fasting as investigated by our reporter Mr. Udeme Ebhorokokokbome is to make chicken grow lean so that they can be guided against ‘immoral killings’.

According to the National Chairman of Chicken Association of Nigeria, Mr. Chicken Perry Perry, “Yes, we are all embarking on seven days warning strike so as to send a signal to all Man that enough of all these immorally killings of our people for the sake of celebrating their festive season.The fasting is to make our people grow lean so that Man can consider them as not-too-good to eat. You know that its only chicken that has enough meat for body Man go fit eat. If we chicken refuse to get meat for body sebi dem (Man) go leave us alone? So, if after these seven days fasting we still discover that despite our deteriorating condition Man still dey kill our people , we will then go for a serious three months fasting. These three months fasting is to further protect our loving people against immoral killings by all Man in preparation for the December Christmas and New Year celebration; meaning that the fasting will be over by January 2010 when we expect the festive seasons too to have been over”.

Meanwhile, Nairaland Mock News investigation has confirmed the true commencement of the seven days fasting as our reporter found a Chicken that refused to eat the corn that was served him by his Oga in Kaduna. According to the Oga who was found struggling to force the corn down his Chicken’s throat said, “Can you imagine. Walai talai this Chicken I don refuse the corn wey I dey give am to eat since morning. I no know wetin dey worry the Chicken walai talai.”


WOMAN 32, ARRESTED FOR PRODUCING ‘YOUGHURT’

The Nigeria Police in Lagos has arrested a Woman for packaging her breast Milk as ‘Yoghurt’ for sale. The Woman Mrs. Ibadilaiyewa (Meaning: Na yansh enjoyment dey) who is age 32 and also a nursing mother, was arrested in her rented apartment turned Factory after a tip-off from a jealous neighbour.

The nursing mother who made a confessional statement after been arrested said she has no regret or ill-feelings for engaging in such business which she described as ‘lucrative’ and “fast-selling’’. “I no regret for this business wey I dey do because the ‘yoghurt’ dey sell well well and the person wey tell you say make una come arrest me, I know say na jealousy dey worry her”.

The Woman further disclosed that young Men constitute her major Customer and she sells a minimum of 100 sachet of her ‘yoghurt’ in a day and at the rate of =N=10 each. When asked why young Men seems to be her Major Customer, she said, “It is because most of their girlfriends use to deny them of this milk even during love making. What do you expect such a young Man to do? You won’t believe it that most of our girls are so stingy of this Milk that they deny their boyfriend to drink. I identified this need and make it available for these young Men at an affordable rate and good packaging”.

Meanwhile, some young Men in Lagos have protested the arrest of Mrs. Ibadilaiyewa whom they described as their ‘saviour’. A young Man Mr. Sunday Nothing Dey Happen who was interviewed said, “I like the ‘yoghurt’ because anytime wey I drink am I no dey bother if my girlfriend give me her own drink or not. At =N=10 I can drink breast milk anytime I like without going through hassle. I will even advice other women especially ladies to join in the business so that the price can be more competitive. It is a very good business for those girls with big ‘Manchester’.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Ibadilaiyewa will be soon be charge to court.

Before we end the news for the day, here is the recap of our Major News:

*CHICKEN GOES FASTING
*WOMAN 32, ARRESTED FOR PRODUCING YOGHURT

With this, we have come to the end of today’s Mock News. Please post your comments/views on our Mock News here.

Good Day.

hmm, brb

kia na marrage list you dey rit?

ROTFLMAO!!!


Am sorry but I havent read the post but I read the TITLES!!! LMAO!!!

na wah oooo